ONE YEAR OLDER: MONDAY, JANUARY 3 _ Victoria Principal is 72 • Mel Gibson is 66 • Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher is 52 • Danica McKellar (The Wonder Years, author of six mathematics books) is 47 • Former NFL quarterback Eli Manning is 41 • Florence Pugh (Black Widow, Little Women) is 26 • Activist Greta Thunberg is 19.
SPECIAL EVENTS _ Vampire Sneeze Practice Day. (Sometimes you just don’t have a tissue. In that case, resist the urge to use your hands and instead cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow, Dracula-style. Practice so you’re not spreading germs the next time you cough or sneeze!) • Festival of Sleep Day • Drinking Straw Day • J.R.R. Tolkien Day • Chocolate Covered Cherry Day • National Weigh-In Day.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS _ I wanted to update you on my resolution to lose weight. Over the past few days I have tried four different appetite suppressants, and the only one that really works for me is a meatball pizza.
STRESS QUIZ _ Are you stressed? We’re in a pandemic and it’s the holidays. To see if you’re stressed, take the (Jock) Show’s Stress Quiz. Just answer each question True or False to the best of your ability. If you answer True to more than half you should take some time off.
• True or False: People tell me one thing one day and out the other.
• True or False: I can’t unclasp my hands.
• True or False: I can wear my shirts as pants.
• True or False: I never liked room temperature.
• True or False: I line my pockets with hot cheese.
• True or False: My throat is closer than it seems.
• True or False: I am annoyed by the taste of my teeth.
• True or False: My toes are numbered.
TELL ME WHERE YOU’RE FROM WITHOUT TELLING ME WHERE YOU’RE FROM _ More than ever a large portion of us don’t live where we were born. Invite listeners to call in and, without mentioning their home state or city, tell you what product or brand identifies where they’re from. Try to guess. The goal here isn’t to guess and move on. Instead, when the caller’s city/state is revealed dig a bit deeper into their home — how often they go back, what they like/don’t like, how the culture is different.
STEALTH BOMBER CAUGHT MID-FLIGHT IN A GOOGLE MAPS PHOTO _ Google has been working to photograph seemingly every inch of the globe for its street and satellite views, and this occasionally results in some unexpected photos. The stealth bomber was discovered by a Reddit user (Hippowned) in Missouri about 50 miles east of Kansas City. • IMAGE
FAMILY ADOPTS KITTEN THAT GOT STUCK IN THEIR NISSAN ROGUE _ A family adopted a kitten after firefighters rescued it from their engine bay. The Bear Creek Fire Department in Michigan needed about 1½ hours to free the kitty, which was not harmed.
I DON’T GET IT _ 🗣 TOPIC: What’s a really popular thing that you just do not understand?
A FEW OF MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS _ Here are my 2022 goals.
• Floss more, and make an effort to brush at least once a week
• Learn to give my feet the love and attention they deserve
• Put my clothes on before I get to work.
• Learn to ride a bicycle the normal way — instead of side-saddle.
NEWS ATTACK! _ Back to real life. [You know the holidays are officially over when your kids go outside and build a playhouse out of dead batteries.]
🎉 Use this link to get your first three months for 20.22!