COUNTRY December 15, 2015

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Audio • Bits & Breaks • Country Prep • Datebook • Datebook Tomorrow • Entertainment • Fun & Games • Image of the Day • Joke of the Day! • Last Minute Items • News & Nuggets • News Attack • Number for the Day • Television • Video of the Day • Wacky-But-True

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DATEBOOK: DECEMBER 15, 2015

This is day 349 of 2015. There are 16 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Comedian and actor Tim Conway (The Carol Burnett Show) is 82

• Cindy Birdsong (The Supremes) is 76

• Dave Clark of the Dave Clark Five is 73

• Don Johnson (Miami Vice) is 66

• Helen Slater (The Legend of Billie Jean, City Slickers) is 52

• Adam Brody (The O.C.) is 36

• Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey) is 34

• George O. Gore II (My Wife and Kids) is 33

• Camilla Luddington (Grey’s Anatomy) is 32

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1791: The Bill of Rights, the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution, took effect following ratification by Virginia. Among other things, these amendments guarantee freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, the right to peaceably assemble, freedom of the press, and freedom of religion.

• 1938: Ground was broken for the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

• 1939: The movie “Gone With the Wind” had its world premiere in Atlanta.

• 1944: Bandleader Glenn Miller was killed when his U.S. Army plane disappeared over the English Channel.

• 1966: Movie producer Walt Disney died at age 65.

• 2001: The Leaning Tower of Pisa reopened after 11 years and $27 million to fortify it, without fixing its famous lean.

• 2004: American telecommunications giants Sprint Corp. and Nextel Communications Inc. announced they would merge in a $35 billion deal.

• 2006: Romanian police said they were looking for two burglars who broke into a woman’s apartment and left her some money. The 86-year-old told police two young men, wearing masks, trashed her apartment. She said they rummaged for money or valuables but found only her wallet with the equivalent of a few bucks inside. The burglars then gave the woman all of their loose change — and left without taking anything.

• 2009: The Washington, D.C. City Council voted to legalize same-sex marriage.

• 2009: Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner makes its maiden flight from Seattle, Washington.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Bill of Rights Day

• Cat Herders Day. A day for those of us who feel like we’re tasked with the impossible, Cat Herders Day recognizes the frustration of trying to manage the unmanageable.

• Gingerbread Latte Day

UPCOMING

• December 19: Start of College Football Bowl Season

• December 21: Winter begins (11:48 PM ET)

• December 23: Festivus

• December 24: Christmas Eve

• December 25: Christmas Day

• December 31: New Year’s Eve

• January 1: New Year’s Day

• January 11: College Football National Championship (University of Phoenix Stadium, ESPN)

• January 18: Martin Luther King Day

• February 7: Super Bowl 50

• More holidays – Updated with 2016 holidays.

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NUMBER FOR THE DAY

4: Presidents featured on Mount Rushmore National Memorial. In a recent survey roughly 87% of Americans were unable to accurately name all four: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.

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NEWS ATTACK!

Because it’s Christmas season trending on the Internet is a forensic scientist’s recreation of what Jesus most likely looked like. [It’s very different from the popular conception, especially the turtle neck sweater.]

A community in Utah is leaving decoy shipping packages filled with rocks and garbage on their doorsteps in the hopes of catching a thief. [That’s a great way to get rid of all the previous Christmas presents that you didn’t want.]

Police in Rome seized 3,500 fake Vatican documents being peddled to unsuspecting tourists. [For example, supposedly the original shopping list for the Last Supper.]

Yahoo Tech has named its Person of the Year, Elon Musk, the man behind Tesla and SpaceX. [There were several votes for the guy who came up with the Hoverboard, but the votes mysteriously went up in flames.]

A new study finds that if you label a food product “light” or “low salt” without actually changing the product, people will swear that it doesn’t taste as good as the “regular” version. [It proves two things — we don’t like to eat healthy and we’re really stupid.]

As we near the release of the latest Star Wars movie the UK reports that religious membership has been surging there for The Church of Jediism. [Interest increased overnight with word that its latest members include Tom Cruise and John Travolta.]

The Commissioner of Major League Baseball announced that the lifetime ban against Pete Rose will remain in place. [Supporters of Rose wonder if the ban has anything to do with him being a Muslim.]

When a drunk driver crashed his car in the UK he tried to escape police by fleeing on foot and then hiding in a Nativity scene. [Not exactly one of the wise men.]

In Limerick, Maine a homeowner has set up a Christmas light display on his lawn that has Santa urinating on the word ISIS. [Nothing gets neighborhood kids in the mood for Christmas like seeing Santa naked.]

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NEWS & NUGGETS

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’S SPORTSPERSON OF THE YEAR IS NOT A HORSE _ Sports Illustrated announced Monday that Serena Williams is its 2015 Sportsperson of the Year, in part because she won three Grand Slam titles this season. Many horse racing fans, however, are upset that the SI recognition didn’t go to American Pharoah, the equine that became the first animal in 37 years to win the Triple Crown.

… It’s not the first time SI has snubbed a horse. In 1973, the year that Secretariat won the Triple Crown, SI’s honor went to Formula One racecar champ Jackie Stewart. In 1978, when Affirmed won the Triple Crown, the award was given to Jack Nicklaus.

… Jockey Steve Cauthen became the only horse-racing-related figure to get the prize when he was named Sportsman of the Year in 1977.

SERENA WILLIAMS TOOK A TAXI TO THE FINISH LINE IN HER OWN 5K _ The mood to just stop running hit Serena Williams at a rather inopportune time Sunday. She was in the middle of the Serena Williams Live Ultimate Run in Miami Beach, along with about 3,000 runners, when she hailed a taxi. She admitted in a Facebook post: “I didn’t run the whole way this year, but next year I will.” The race is a fund-raiser for the Serena Williams Fund. Serena’s older sister, Venus, finished the race.

DRONE REGISTRATION IS OPENING _ The Federal Aviation Administration says that starting next week, all drone owners will have to register their drones to fly them in the US. To encourage owners to register, the process will be free online for the next month, but after January 20, 2016, anyone wanting to fly a drone will have to pay the US government $5 for the privilege.

… Who needs to register? Anyone flying a drone that weighs over 0.55 pounds and less than 55 pounds — which is pretty much every consumer drone that isn’t a microdrone. Larger drones need to be registered through the mail.

…  The FAA is quick to point out, for any jokers out there, that you don’t need to register your paper airplane, or toy balloon, or Frisbee. If you’re unsure how much your drone weighs, the FAA suggests using a kitchen scale to find out. If you don’t have a scale, the FAA has kindly informed us that two sticks of butter weighs slightly less than the lightest drones that have to be registered.

JAPAN TO HAVE FINAL SAY ON LAST NAMES _ Ladies, when you married did you keep your last name? It’s become common in many parts of the world, but in Japan women have to take their groom’s surname. Five people have sued the government of Japan over the law — in place since 1896 — and Japan’s supreme court will have a decision tomorrow (Wednesday).

COMPANY SAYS IT OWNS MYSTERY 747s AT MALAYSIA AIRPORT _ The owner of an air cargo company says the three Boeing 747s left idle at Malaysia’s airport are his — and he’s “stunned” by the airport’s claim that their owner could not be found. Kuala Lumpur International Airport placed a newspaper ad last week saying the owners of the 747 aircraft were “untraceable”, demanding that they step forward to claim the planes or they would be sold off. But Blue Peterson, CEO of Malaysia-based Swift Air Cargo, said his company bought the planes from their previous owners in June and had been in contact with airport management over the aircraft for months.

BOY BATTLING CANCER IS MADE HONORARY NAVY SEAL _ The brave Navy SEALs wage their battles all around the globe, but for courageous B.J. Correll, his battlefield is his hospital bed in North Carolina. That is where B.J. takes on a very familiar foe called cancer. But the other day the powerful 14-year-old had some imposing reinforcements and a new badge of honor to take only his enemy. The boy has had dreams of becoming a U.S. Navy SEAL ever since a middle school project. So a group of retired Navy SEALs made a surprise visit to B.J. at his Duke University Hospital bed and made him an honorary member.

99-YEAR-OLD WINS SHOPPING SPREE AT 99 CENT STORE _ After winning a shopping spree Donna Goldstein celebrated her 99th birthday at a California (Beverly Grove) 99 Cents Only Store. Goldstein filled her cart with Christmas goods, but not for herself. She decided she was going to use her shopping spree to make holiday stockings for children in need. She plans to donate the holiday stockings to kids throughout the community to make sure they have something special to open on Christmas morning.

CRAFT BREWERS NEED BEER CANS _ While the craft beer boom has benefited small breweries around the country, it has also left some scrambling for cans. The 16-ounce size is in exceptionally high demand; it’s slightly larger and has become a popular way for niche brewers to distinguish themselves from behemoths like Budweiser and Coors, which use 12-ounce cans.

… For a few years now, more affordable ways of canning have helped spawn new craft beers and made the process easier for small brewers. Glass bottles still hold more cachet among craft brewers, but funky, unique can designs have become a popular way to attract young, hip beer enthusiasts.

AMERICA’S NEWEST BATTLESHIP BREAKS DOWN AT SEA AFTER 20 DAYS _ The American navy’s newest ship, launched with great fanfare less than a month ago, has broken down at sea and had to be towed to land. The USS Milwaukee suffered an engineering problem while en route from Halifax, Canada, to Mayport in Florida. From Florida it was due to travel on to its home port of San Diego. But the ship, commissioned on November 21, suffered problems on Friday. The Navy Times said that initial reports suggest fine metal debris collected in the lube oil filter, causing the system to shut down. The cost of the ship was $437 million.

NASA WANT AD: ASTRONAUTS NEEDED TO HELP GET TO MARS _ NASA opened its astronaut-application website Monday. It’s accepting applications through February 18. Contenders need to be U.S. citizens with a bachelor’s degree in science, math or engineering. Expect intense competition: More than 6,000 applied for NASA’s last astronaut class in 2013. Future astronauts will have four spacecraft at their disposal: the International Space Station, two commercial crew capsules to get there, and NASA’s Orion spacecraft for eventual Mars trips. Pay is between $66,000 and $145,000 a year, and you’ll have to move to Houston.

POPE FRANCIS SELFIE HOAX _ Pope Francis did not share his first selfie on Monday. A picture going around social media showed Pope Francis with a wide smile in a tight frame, looking very much life a selfie that someone might share on Instagram. But that wasn’t the case. Instead, the Pope Francis selfie was a hoax, a picture actually taken during a video chat in 2014. Still, it managed to fool a number of national news outlets including CNN, which posted a picture of the alleged Pope Francis selfie.

… The purported “selfie” immediately raised red flags due in part to Pope Francis’ typically humble nature. During a visit to the U.S. earlier this year, Pope Francis warned an audience of “chasing likes” on social media. Francis said during his visit: “I would dare say that at the root of so many contemporary situations is a kind of radical loneliness that so many people live in today.”

RESEARCHERS COME UP WITH RECREATION OF JESUS’ FACE _ (NOTE: This story came out in January but because of the holidays it’s making the rounds again.) For Christians, what Jesus Christ may have looked like has been a mystery. The New Testament of the Holy Bible does not provide any detailed description of Jesus, nor have any drawings of Him been discovered. As a result, he’s been depicted in various appearances by people from different times and cultures. Fortunately, science may have found a way for Christians to finally find an answer to the age-old question of how Jesus Christ looks like. Through the help of forensic anthropology, British scientists who teamed up with Israeli archaeologists came up with what is believed to be the most accurate recreation of Jesus’ face. | IMAGE

A VERY NSFW CHRISTMAS SWEATER _ Just when you thought ugly Christmas sweaters couldn’t get any weirder, the Internet is here to prove you wrong. One Etsy store is selling festive “sexy ugly Christmas sweaters” that feature some skin. The sweaters are cut to reveal one of the wearer’s actual breasts and come with a pompom pastie and stick-on eyes that make the wearer’s breast look like a reindeer. | LINK (CAUTION)

MAN SURPRISES PACKAGE THIEVES WITH A BOX OF POOP _ Eric Burdo of Las Vegas doesn’t have time for your crap. After his car was broken into and multiple packages were stolen from nearby houses, Burdo decided to pull a little prank on the neighborhood thieves. Burdo collected his dog’s poop, boxed it up and left it on his porch as bait. Of course, he also had a home security system to catch the bandits in the act. Burdo left the poopy package on his front porch and sure enough, a few days later a couple of kids were spotted running up to the porch and snatching the package. Burdo said he was a little surprised that the thieves were kids, but pleased with his prank nonetheless. | VIDEO

TEXAS PLUMBER SUES AFTER HIS OLD TRUCK ENDS UP WITH ISIS _ It was nearly a year ago that we heard about the plight of Mark Oberholtzer, the Texas City plumber greeted with the not-so pleasant sight of his old work truck on the evening news being used as an anti-aircraft vehicle for Islamic militants in Syria — with his company’s logo still on it. Oberholtzer is understandably still mad about how that whole thing went down, so he’s suing the dealership to whom he sold the truck. Oberholtzer is seeking “$1 million in punitive damages for fraud, gross negligence, negligent misrepresentation, defamation, invasion of privacy and deceptive trade” against the Houston dealership (AutoNation Ford Gulf Freeway) where he unloaded his old Ford F-250 work truck in October 2013.

… Why sue the dealership? It’s over the decal with his business logo on it. He traded in his Ford for a newer model, and as he waited for the deal to close he started peeling the “Mark-1 Plumbing” stickers off the truck. A salesman told him to stop, because it “would blemish the vehicle paint” and “the dealership had something better for removal.” Then in December of last year, a tweet by militants started making the rounds that showed a truck shooting stuff out of the sky — Oberholtzer’s old truck, with his Mark-1 Plumbing logo still on it.

… In the lawsuit Oberholtzer says the photo, and the subsequent viral story around it, ruined his life and his business. Due to angry calls and death threats, he and his family had to flee their town for some time, and they still receive threats today from angry people who believe Mark-1 Plumbing aids and abets terror groups. The lawsuit says the truck was sold at a Dallas auction, then sent back to Houston to be shipped to Turkey, and it somehow later ended up in Syria.

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WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: XMAS DISPLAY SHOWS SANTA’S DISAPPROVAL OF ISIS _ Deputies paid a visit to a southern Maine home after its owner’s raunchy anti-terrorist Christmas light display was mistaken as support for the Islamic State. The homeowner used lights to spell out the word “ISIS” on a board. Neighbors called local authorities, who paid a visit to the home. What they found was an illuminated plastic Santa Claus that appeared to be urinating on the word ISIS via a strand of white lights.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: EXTREME DRAFT DODGING IN SOUTH KOREA _ From self-inflicted injury to intentional weight gain, a growing number of South Koreans are resorting to extreme measures in order to avoid serving out one of the longest mandatory military service periods in the world. For example, in a 23-year-old man purposefully cut off a recently reattached finger after undergoing surgery for an accident, all in order to avoid having to join the military.

… Some draft-dodgers are faking mental illness, getting gang tattoos, and intentionally braking limbs. One guy purposely gained 110 pounds over six months.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN ON WALK GETS LOST IN HEAVY SMOG _ You know your country has a problem with smog when your citizens are getting lost — in the smog. A woman in China went missing after a walk, got disoriented and ended up in some woods. Her husband reported her missing, prompting a two-hour search by police.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN POSING AS U.S. MARSHAL WALKS OUT ON $3 BEER TAB _ A man posing as a U.S. Marshal walked out on his tab at a Florida (South Tallahassee) restaurant. Now John A. Monk is facing charges of impersonating an officer, carrying a concealed weapon, petit theft and possession of marijuana. The tab he walked out on was for a $3 beer.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THAT’S NOT A KNIFE! _ A man allegedly attempted to hold up a  Massachusetts (Worcester) liquor store. He pointed a large knife or machete at the clerk on duty and told him to empty the register. The clerk refused, reached under the counter, and pulled a larger machete on the robber, who calmly walked to the door, and then ran. After two more alleged robberies that were more successful, police caught up to the robber and arrested him.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: I’M NOT ME, I’M MY MOTHER _ Darene Springs Weston went to court in South Carolina (Rock Hill), allegedly identified herself as her own mother, and tried to present a forged document declaring herself dead so that she could avoid drunk driving charges. The court clerk recognized Weston and called the police.

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ON TELEVISION

STAR WARS: EVOLUTION OF THE LIGHTSABER DUEL (7p ET, ESPN) — This half-hour special will look at how the lightsaber fight scenes have evolved from 1977’s Star Wars to the upcoming film. The documentary also examines the connections between the duels and the sport of kendo, a Japanese form of fencing. Hosted by Mark Hamill. | TRAILER

NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — Adam Campbell Returns as a young Ducky and Jamie Bamber returns as NSA Attorney Jake Malloy in the last new episode until January 5th.

THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — This is a recap of the artists’ final performances.

TOY STORY THAT TIME FORGOT (8p ET, ABC) — This Christmas special airs again this week.

GRANDFATHERED (8p ET, FOX) — Repeat

THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — Repeat

SHREK THE HALLS (8:30p ET, ABC) — This Christmas special airs again this week.

THE GRINDER (8:30p ET, FOX) — Repeat

SEASON FINALE: THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — Justin Bieber, Coldplay, The Weeknd, Sam Hunt and Missy Elliott will perform on the finale as the winner is revealed.

NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (9p ET, CBS) — This is the last new episode until January 5th.

I WANT A DOG FOR CHRISTMAS, CHARLIE BROWN! (9p ET, ABC) — Lucy and Linus’ little brother, ReRun, turns to Snoopy and Spike for holiday cheer.

GRANDFATHERED (9p ET, FOX) — Repeat

IZOMBIE (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

THE GRINDER (9:30p ET, FOX) — Repeat

LIMITLESS (10p ET, CBS) — This is the last new episode until January 5th.

SHARK TANK (10p ET, ABC) — Repeat

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ENTERTAINMENT

BILL COSBY IS SUING SEVEN OF HIS SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSERS _ Bill Cosby is suing seven of the women that have accused him of sexual assault. The creepy old comedian claims that the women (Tamara Green, Therese Serignese, Linda Traitz, Louisa Moritz, Barbara Boman, Joan Tarshis and Angela Leslie) have made “malicious, opportunistic, false and defamatory accusations of sexual misconduct” against him. Bill claims that he has been mortified by the claims and that the women are trying to assassinate his character. He says that they are going after him for the financial gain.

A KARDASHIAN IS HOOKING UP WITH JUSTIN BIEBER _ Kourtney Kardashian and Justin Bieber have been “casually hooking up”. A reliable source says the unexpected romance is not serious, but occurs occasionally and they’re both having fun. On Friday, Kardashian and Bieber were first spotted at a popular L.A. hotspot. From there, they and a group of others went to a karaoke club. Kardashian left the karaoke joint well before Bieber, but that was not the end of their night. At some point, Kardashian headed over to the Montage Beverly Hills hotel, where Bieber often stays. She was later photographed leaving the hotel at 4 AM.

LIVE PENGUINS JOIN TAYLOR SWIFT FOR HER BIRTHDAY PARTY _ Taylor Swift celebrated her 26th birthday with her boyfriend Calvin Harris by her side at a Christmas party held on Sunday in Los Angeles. The party was hosted by Apple exec Jimmy Iovine and it looked like the backyard of a home was turned into a winter wonderland with fake snow, sledding areas, live penguins, and snowmen.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY ACTRESS DIES _ Rose Siggins, who played a legless character on American Horror Story: Freak Show, died Saturday in Denver. Siggins, whose character on the show was named Legless Suzi, was 43. On her website, Siggins wrote that she was “born with a rare genetic disorder known as sacral agenesis” in which her legs were deformed and the feet pointing in opposite directions. The condition causes abnormal fetal development of the lower spine. Siggins’ legs were amputated. Siggins wrote that she went on to have a normal childhood, get married and have two children.

NEW DEADPOOL TRAILER RELEASES CHRISTMAS DAY _ What more could Deadpool fans want for Christmas than a brand new trailer for the upcoming Marvel film? Well, they’ll get that for sure, but before the big holiday arrives, they’re going to get a lot more Deadpool-related things to whet their appetite. 20th Century Fox has unveiled a new video that shows Deadpool sitting in front of the camera, with what appears to be egg nog in his hand, explaining a new event that is taking place over the course of the 12 days before the new Deadpool trailer arrives on Christmas Day. The event is called the 12 Days of Deadpool. Each day, there will be something new released in relation to the upcoming Deadpool movie.

LISA LING IS PREGNANT WITH SECOND CHILD _ Lisa Ling is expecting her second child with husband Paul Song. The couple had a daughter, Jett, in 2013.

MELISSA MCCARTHY’S REACTION TO MIKE AND MOLLY CANCELLATION _ Melissa McCarthy is not ready to say goodbye to her character Molly Flynn. She used Twitter to express her sadness over the cancellation of her CBS sitcom Mike & Molly: “I was shocked and heartbroken when @CBS canceled #MikeAndMolly. I would have shot this show for 50 more years. I’ll miss my 2nd family.”

WATCH FIRST OFFICIAL TRAILER FOR STAR TREK BEYOND _ Paramount Pictures has released the first official trailer for Star Trek Beyond. The action-packed trailer opens with Beastie Boys’ Sabotage, which also played in the previous movie before the USS Enterprise is completely decimated. | VIDEO

… Star Trek Beyond is directed by Fast and Furious director Justin Lin and is the first Star Trek movie in the rebooted series not to be directed by J.J. Abrams who is still on board as an executive producer. The movie will hit U.S. theaters on July 22.

KIEFER SUTHERLAND TO PLAY PRESIDENT IN ABC DRAMA _ Kiefer Sutherland is returning to TV in ABC’s Designated Survivor. The dramatic thriller that centers on a lower-level United States cabinet member (Sutherland) who is suddenly appointed president after a catastrophic attack during the State of the Union kills everyone above him in the presidential line of succession.

THE XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS REBOOT IS DEFINITELY HAPPENING _ After months of rumors, NBC has confirmed that the Xena: Warrior Princess reboot is most definitely happening. No word on an air date.

MOVIES AREN’T MUCH LONGER THAN THEY USED TO BE _ Every year we hear the same complaint about movies on the big screen: Movies are getting so darn long. Except they’re not. Sure, there are some really long movies, like the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies. But when the 25 most popular movies from 1931 to present day were analyzed it turns out movie lengths have been trending shorter for a few decades.

THE FORCE AWAKENS WILL BE A LONG-ISH FILM _ If you haven’t been to the theater in awhile and are planning to see The Force Awakens, remember to skip the beverage. The film itself has a runtime of about 2 hours, 15 minutes. Toss in some commercials and trailers and you’ll be in your seat for over 2½ hours.

BEWARE STAR WARS SPOILERS! _ The world premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens happened in Los Angeles Monday. Which means it’s only a matter of time before you hear something you don’t want to. In an Internet poll, 74% of those surveyed think a major plot point will leak before the movie opens Thursday night.

NEW ON DVD TODAY

• Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
• Ted 2
• Mission: Impossible – Rogue
• Fantastic Four
• CSI: Crime Scene Investigation – The Final CSI
• Extant: Season 2

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AUDIO

NEW TO THE PRO AUDIO PAGE…

• CONTEST: Mystery Voice – Will Smith

• FUNNY: Dog doesn’t like Barbra Streisand. PHONER THIS: What sound or song drives your dog nuts?

• SONG: The Gift Card Song (InterPrep awesome radio edit!)

• CELEBRITY: Will Smith on running for president (CBS Sunday Morning interview)

• TV: Teaser for ESPN’s Star Wars- Evolution of the Lightsaber Duel

• MOVIE: Chris Hemsworth on weight loss during In The Heart Of The Sea.

• HOLIDAY: Clips from the album All I Want For Christmas Is a Goat.

• TOPICAL: Obama reads mean tweets is one of YouTube’s top virals of 2015.

• TOPICAL: Harrison Ford comments on Trump liking him in Air Force One.

• CONTEST: Mystery Voice – Vin Diesel

• TOPICAL: Roger Ebert in 1983 defends Star Wars.

• DROP: Seinfeld clip about Festivus. (See 12/1 issue)

• DROPS: Funny Christmas clips package — many clips!

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BITS & BREAKS

CHRISTMAS SONGS

Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What Christmas song could they do a way with and it would be just fine with you and why?

Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What Christmas song could you listen to on loop for the whole Christmas season?

BEST JOB INTERVIEW QUOTES OF 2015!

Hiring managers were asked to share some of the dumbest things said by job interviewees this year.

• “I’m sorry I’m yawning. I’m usually not up this early.” (Interview with the 40-something-year old woman was over lunch.)

• “Do you know of any companies where I could get a job I would like better than this one?”

• “What is it that you people do at this company anyway?”

• “I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.”

• “Sometimes I feel like smashing things.”

• “Will my office be near an ice machine?”

• “I am fascinated by fire.”

• “How many warnings do you get before you are fired?”

• “Will there be refreshments if we go longer than 30 minutes?”

DOWNLOAD THIS APP!

If you liked the addictive game app Flappy Bird and you like politics, go download the new app Floppy Candidate. The Washington Post created the game that takes all of the surprisingly similar frustrations caused by Flappy Bird and politics and puts them in a single app. The game is essentially a clone of the viral smash from 2013 but with pixelated heads of presidential candidates put in place of the bird.

Download: iOS | Android

REAL AVERAGE LIFESPAN OF INSECTS AND ANIMALS

• Mayflys: 1 Hour – 1 Week
• Honey Bees: 4 weeks
• Mosquito: 1-3 Months
• Dragonfly: 4 Months
• Dumbo Octopus: 3 Years
• Opossum: 8 Years
• Cottontail Rabbit: 12 Years
• Armadillo: 15 Years
• Lions: 20 Years
• Honey Badger: 24 Years
• Tiger: 25 Years
• Giraffe: 28 Years
• Horses: 30 Years
• Rhinoceros: 40 Years
• Chimpanzee: 50 Years
• Humans: 70 Years
• Elephant: 70 Years
• Orca Whale: 90 Years
• Giant Tortoise: 150 Years
• Bowhead Whale: 200 Years
• Ocean Quahog Clam: 410 Years
• Immortal Jellyfish: Forever! The Immortal Jellyfish transforms themselves from adult back into baby through the process of transdifferentiation.

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FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: About 1.4 million people attend what event each year? (Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The population the rest of the year is just over 384,000.)

TRIVIA: Over your lifetime you will produce enough of this to fill two swimming pools. (Saliva)

MYSTERY VOICE

Who is this?

Answer: Will Smith

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JOKE OF THE DAY

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Mary led off: “I sold Girl Scout cookies door to door and I made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” Jane was next: “I sold magazines,” she said. “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events.” Eventually, it was Matthew’s turn. He walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467!” “$2,467?!” cried the teacher. “What in the world were you selling?” “Toothbrushes,” said Matthew. The teacher asked, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?” Matthew explained: “I found the busiest corner in town. I set up an chip and dip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing: ‘Hey, this tastes like horse manure!’ Then I would say, ‘It is horse manure. Wanna buy a toothbrush?'”

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VIDEO OF THE DAY

Cat whips tiger.

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IMAGE OF THE DAY

Found the dog!

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LAST MINUTE ITEMS

•How one guy keeps track of his luggage.

• Dress your bearded dragon as Princess Lea.

• The best Star Wars tattoos.

• I’m a financial planner, and here are the 11 best pieces of advice I can give you about money.

• The Best and Worst Journalism of 2015. Includes a nod to John Oliver.

• Dude Perfect’s RC edition.

• When your radio show prep service gives you a list… do the work.

• Top 25 News Photos of 2015.

• Hard to believe it’s been a year since we got this “special” Michael Bay Edition Star Wars trailer.

• We actually bought these $15 Amazon headphones — and they don’t suck.

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COUNTRY DATEBOOK: DECEMBER 15, 2015

• 1955: JOHNNY CASH’s album Folsom Prison Blues was originally released by Sun Records.

• 1986: KENNY ROGERS inked a $17 million deal with Dole Foods to promote their pineapple and other products.

• 1995: SHANIA TWAIN’s album The Woman In Me was certified quadruple platinum.

• 1997: GARTH BROOKS’ album Sevens was certified multi-platinum for sales of 5 million copies.

• 1998: The DIXIE CHICKS’ album Wide Open Spaces was certified triple platinum.

• 1999: SHANIA TWAIN’s album Come On Over was certified multi-platinum for sales of 16 million copies.

• 2005: KENNY CHESNEY’s album The Road & The Radio was certified double platinum. Hits included Who You’d Be Today and Summertime.

• 2005: RASCAL FLATTS became the first non-solo male country act to win Billboard Magazine’s Artist of the Year award.

• 2005: MIRANDA LAMBERT’s album Kerosene was named Best Country Album of the Year by the Nashville Scene newspaper.

• 2006: RASCAL FLATTS became the first country act since 1992 to be the best selling artist in all of music for the year. Their Me & My Gang album sold 3 million copies that year.

• 2008: TAYLOR SWIFT had surgery to remove her wisdom teeth.

• 2013: CHRIS CAGLE was arrested on drunk-driving charges near Greenville, Texas.

• 2013: Numerous media reported the death of RAY PRICE following a Facebook posting by his son. Ray was still alive but in a coma. He passed away the next day.

Doug Phelps of THE KENTUCKY HEADHUNTERS and BROTHERS PHELPS is 55.

ALAN JACKSON and wife Denise celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary.

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COUNTRY AUDIO

NEW TO THE COUNTRY AUDIO PAGE…

• LUKE BRYAN needs a new co-host for the ACM awards.mp3

• TIM McGRAW on the best Christmas gift as a kid.

• CAM was nervous about her Untamed album.

• TIM McGRAW remembers when Christmas changed for him.

• CAM says the best way to listen to her album Untamed is to turn it up.

• KELLIE PICKER on filming the new season of I Love Kellie Pickler.

• FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE and Christmas.

• GARTH BROOKS loves TRISHA YEARWOOD’s cooking but he makes a Breakfast Bowl. (Classic Kimmel clip. On 12/10 they celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary.)

• REBA MCENTIRE on getting the same Christmas gifts as her sister.

• CARRIE UNDERWOOD feels very blessed in her career.

• TIM MCGRAW loves football.

• KEITH URBAN talks about his dad.

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COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS

LUKE BRYAN will return to host the 2016 ACM Awards, but BLAKE SHELTON will not. A video for the 51st annual awards released Monday broke the news to country fans. The video includes a number of clues about Luke’s new ACM Awards co-host:

… The white dog on the far side of the bar Luke is leaning against during his “breakup” phone call. It looks an awful lot like DIERKS BENTLEY’s famous friend Jake.

… The voice of the bartender. It sounds exactly like Dierks Bentley.

… The bartender’s words: The unseen bartender says to Luke: “Tip that on back, I’m sure you’ll find your answer.” Tip It On Back was a hit for Dierks a few of years ago. | VIDEO

… Visit your COUNTRY AUDIO page for an airworthy version of the video’s audio.

For her Storyteller tour CARRIE UNDERWOOD has added a March 4 show in Stockholm, Sweden, and a March 5 date in Oslo, Norway. The shows are part of the C2C Music Festival, where Carrie is also playing in Glasgow, Scotland, London, England and Dublin. The Storyteller tour begins in the U.S. on January 30 in Jacksonville, Florida, with special guests EASTON CORBIN and THE SWON BROTHERS.

CHRIS STAPLETON’s album Traveler returns to the top of the Country Albums chart this week. It’s the only country album in the Top 10 of the Top 200 all formats album chart.

BLAKE SHELTON’s Gonna is his 21st No. 1 song.

The town of Lindale, Texas is recovering from strong storms and tornadoes that ripped through the area over the weekend. The mayor of MIRANDA LAMBERT’s hometown has declared Lindale to be a state of disaster. Miranda was raised in Lindale and still has strong ties to the area. In 2013 she opened the Pink Pistol, a gift shop and wine bar in the town. Just four weeks ago the town helped her celebrate her 32nd birthday.

With Buy Me A Boat, CHRIS JANSON has earned his first platinum single for sales and streams of 1 million copies. Chris will be joining BLAKE SHELTON on the road beginning in February.

Teaming with the Make A Wish Foundation, JANA KRAMER (I Got The Boy) her husband, former football player Michael Caussin, and a member of her band made a visit to Amber Slatton, a cancer patient in Nashville performing songs and hanging out with the girl Jana calls a true fighter. She posted her experiences on social media. | LINK

RICKY SKAGGS will appear tonight (Tuesday) on NBC’s The Voice to join contestant Emily Ann Roberts for a performance of his chart topping hit Country Boy. Emily is one of the finalists this season from BLAKE SHELTON’s team and has done several country covers as part of the competition, including THE JUDDS’ Why Not Me.

In a way, GARTH BROOKS is responsible for the ELI YOUNG BAND’s existence. Frontman Mike Eli saw Garth several times in concert while growing up and after the first show he told his parents he wanted to make music for a living. Several years later, while in college, Mike met the other members of the band.

Newcomer BRIAN DAVIS, who wrote BRANTLEY GILBERT’s One Hell Of An Amen, will join Brantley on the Black Out Tour beginning January 28 in Saginaw, Michigan. Others on the tour will be MICHAEL RAY (Kiss You In The Morning) and CANAAN SMITH.