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This is day 75 of 2016. There are 291 days remaining.
• Elvis Presley drummer DJ Fontana is 85
• Judd Hirsch (Taxi) is 81
• Bassist Phil Lesh of the Grateful Dead is 76
• Mike Love of the Beach Boys is 75
• Ry Cooder is 69
• Dee Snider of Twisted Sister is 61
• Model Fabio is 57
• Bret Michaels of Poison is 53
• Eva Longoria (Telenovela, Desperate Housewives) is 41
• will.i.am of Black Eyed Peas is 41
• Kellan Lutz (The Twilight films) is 31
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 44 BC: Julius Caesar, Dictator of the Roman Republic, was stabbed to death by Marcus Junius Brutus, Decimus Junius Brutus and several other Roman senators on the Ides of March.
• 1972: The Godfather had it’s premiere.
• 1977: Eight Is Enough and Three’s Company premiered on TV.
• 1991: Four Los Angeles, California police officers were indicted for the videotaped March 3, 1991 beating of motorist Rodney
• 1999: Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, Billy Joel and Dusty Springfield were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
• 2006: After a dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey’s car he sued the city of Lodi, California for $3,600. The city denied the claim since Gokey, a city employee, was himself driving the dump truck. So Gokey’s wife sued the city. But a judge ruled she could not sue her own husband as a city employee.
• 2009: Researchers announced the germiest thing in our life is our cell phone, taking the crown from our computer keyboard.
• 2015: Boston reached a new snowfall record of 108.6 inches. The city would pick up another two inches before winter ended.
• Buzzards Day
• Ides of March
• National Agriculture Day
• Incredible Kid Day
• Peanut Lovers’ Day
• March 15: NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament begins
• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day
• March 27: Easter
• April 1: April Fools’ Day
39 million: How much the U.S. might save, in dollars, by redesigning nickels and dimes. The metallic compositions of the coins are expensive given their actual worth as currency.
Another study has concluded that blueberries have the ability to boost brain function. [The trick is to find someone who can throw a blueberry hard enough, and hit just the right spot on your head.]
It’s now official. This was the hottest winter in history. [No wonder Kim Kardashian had trouble keeping her clothes on.]
In Mississippi a bill passed the state House that would require parents to be graded on their involvement in helping their children succeed in school. [I don’t get it. If a parent doesn’t care what was on his kids’ report card, why will he care what’s on his own report card?]
A man in Florida caught speeding told officers that he was speeding because he really needed to get home to use the bathroom. They didn’t believe him, and when the man couldn’t hold it anymore, he did both number one and number two in the squad car. [That’s why I didn’t become a cop — or a carwash attendant.]
A United Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing due to a strong odor. [Strong odor? That describes everybody who’s ever had a seat beside me.]
Lindsay Lohan’s mom says that she really wants grandchildren. [She just can’t wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet and the jingle jangle of little ankle monitoring bracelets.]
Lindsay Lohan’s mom says that she really wants grandchildren. [She’s already started saving for the kid’s college fund and bail bond.]
Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest movie, The Brothers Grimsby is bombing at the box office. [Why would people waste their hard earned money on a movie when they can get all the comedy they want for free during the presidential race?]
The Internal Revenue Service is warning about fake IRS emails designed to trick taxpayers into revealing personal financial information that is then used to steal their identities. [If you get an email that’s polite, informative and treats you like an intelligent human being, it’s not from the IRS.]
PRESIDENT OBAMA SAYS HE LOVES MICHELLE’S CURVES _ President Obama says he thinks his daughters are lucky because they have a great body image role model: Their “gorgeous” mother. In a Time magazine interview, Obama says his daughters are lucky because they have a family where their mom has “curves,” and their dad appreciates that. The president says, “The fact that they’ve got a tall gorgeous mom who has some curves, and that their father appreciates, I think is helpful.”
HOW A 10-MINUTE SNOOZE COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE _ We’re still adjusting to Daylight Saving Time, and of all weeks this is one to start taking regular naps. In a 2015 study, 11 healthy men were deprived of sleep during one night, but were allowed to nap the next day. Urine and saliva samples showed that a poor night’s sleep raised stress hormones, but napping brought them down to normal, showing that catching winks during the day can give the immune system a boost.
… People who take midday naps also have a 4 percent lower average systolic blood pressure than those who don’t. And according to the National Sleep Foundation, napping can also “restore alertness, enhance performance, and reduce mistakes and accidents,” extend alertness later it the day, and is an easy way to relax.
… Humans are actually designed for napping. Before we started working eight-hour shifts, we naturally decided to take naps in the afternoon. Over in Italy and Spain, adults still take breaks for napping.
… Interestingly, humans are one of the only animals who don’t sleep in short spurts. Most mammals are polyphasic sleepers, which means they snooze for short periods during the day. We’re one of only a few monophasic sleepers in the animal kingdom. We sleep during one block of time, and are awake for another.
ANTI-TRUMP AD IS JUST THINGS HE HAS SAID ABOUT WOMEN _ Can Donald Trump take down Donald Trump? The Super PAC Our Principals, a conservative group that exists specifically to “prevent Donald Trump from hijacking our great [Republican] Party,” has released an ad called Quotes. I the ad a handful of women read remarks that Donald Trump has made about women over the year. • VIDEO
A COMPANY IS SELLING BODY ARMOR FOR YOUR CAT _ You can buy body armor for your cat. It’s sold on Etsy (by Savagepunk Studio) by Andy Fyfe and his wife Barbara. Their studio is based out of their home in the Boston area where they make “all manner of masks, hats, costume pieces, and assorted oddities, with a specialization in custom artsy leather armor for humans and felines alike.”
IF SHE GETS 70,000 MORE RETWEETS, GIRL CAN HAVE A PUPPY _ Clara Foster, a high school senior, wants a puppy. Small problem, though: Her dad won’t let her have one until she gets 100,000 retweets. It’s easier than the million he originally asked for, but it’s still a very high bar to clear for someone who only has 800 Twitter followers. A big enough number that her dad must have thought it would be impossible. • LINK
… But why reward a high schooler with a puppy for something so effortless as begging for retweets? Does this prove she’s responsible enough to care for a small animal? Clara writes on her website that she’s planning to head off to college next year, possibly out of state. Will she take the puppy with her? A 100,000 retweets doesn’t prove she can be responsible for a puppy. • Check her retweets
HIKER STUMBLES UPON 2,000-YEAR-OLD GOLD COIN _ An ancient gold coin has been discovered by a hiker in Israel. Laurie Rimon saw a shiny object in the grass at an archaeological site in eastern Galilee and was left stunned to discover it was 2,000 years old. The rare coin, from 107, is only the second of its kind found in the world.
COUPLES WHO SPLIT CHORES ARE HAPPIER _ The next time your spouse hides out in front of the TV instead of helping with chores, you might want to share this with him or her. Researchers (University of Missouri, Brigham Young University, Utah State University) found that married couples are happier if they share household responsibilities. The researchers surveyed 160 couples married for an average of five years with at least one child under age five.
… The more wives perceived that their husbands were participating in family work tasks, the better the relationships were for both spouses. Couples’ relationships also improved when wives felt that their husbands were close with their children. Couples don’t need to divide chores exactly equally in order to see benefits.
WOMAN TURNS TO GOFUNDME FOLLOWING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE _ Heather Dodson, a 43-year old Seattle restaurant worker, is the subject of a GoFundMe campaign to cover her medical bills after allegedly being attacked by her ex-boyfriend. The GoFundMe page reads: “Heather was assaulted by her ex-boyfriend and has a long recovery ahead of her. She will be having surgery… to repair her broken nose and will be out of work for several weeks. She also has a broken eye socket, multiple bruises [and] a chipped tooth. Her health insurance will not cover all her doctors’ visits, surgery, medical and dental bills to come.”
… The page also reports that Heather is now in a safe place and is having surgery this week. • GOFUNDME PAGE
B’BALL: INDIANA FANS MOST FOUL-MOUTHED ON TWITTER _ TravelMath.com — a trip calculator website — monitored sentiment from NCAA fans after the March Madness bracket was unveiled and found that UC Irvine supporters are the happiest, while Indiana fans are the most vulgar.
GIRL CALLED ‘FAT WHALE’ TAKES BACK PHRASE _ A junior at a Texas high school (Lampasas High School) is refusing to be the victim of bullying — instead using her experience to make a difference. Dannie McMillan said she was in study hall when she was texted a screen shot of a Twitter page another student made that called her a “fat whale” and had an image of a whale superimposed over her face. At first she was upset and embarrassed. Dannie exchanged Facebook messages with plus-size model Laura Lee, who she admires. With Lee’s support, Dannie used a website called Booster to design custom T-shirts that read: “Dee the Fat Whale Saves the Whales.” Shirt purchases will benefit the California-based nonprofit Save the Whales organization. The Twitter page mocking Dannie has since been removed. • LINK
92-YEAR-OLD GETS FREE GYM MEMBERSHIP _ A 92-year-old New Zealand man goes to his gym every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He’s been going for eight years. He gets the medicine ball and I holds it above his head 20 times. Then he gets a large rubber ball and puts it in the small of my back, with it leaning against the wall and him leaning against the ball. Then he goes up and down 20 times.
… It recently came to the manager’s attention that John Williams is the oldest member of his gym, which is why he’s been given a lifetime membership. Williams credits his wife of 66 years for pushing him to get out.
MOST MEN STILL IN LOVE AFTER THEIR WIVES CHEAT _ When it comes to getting cheated on, men may be much more forgiving than previously thought. In a survey of 1,500 men whose wives cheated, 71% said yes to the question: “Do you still love your wife, even after she had the affair?”
… A 2013 study found one in six wives cheat on their husbands — a 40 percent increase in the past 20 years.
BURRITOS: THE REASON THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED _ If you often wonder, “What is the point of the Internet?” — we couldn’t agree more. Facebook is a time suck; news sites are biased or overly opinionated; YouTube is full of cats and Kim Kardashian wannabes. But we’ve found a reason the Internet was invented: My Burrito Finder. Enter your city or zip code and — like magic — every place within driving distance that sells a fat, steamy burrito is laid out on a map before you. • LINK
SMARTPHONE ‘VOICES’ NOT ALWAYS HELPFUL IN A HEALTH CRISIS _ It can give you street directions or find the nearest deli, but how helpful is your smartphone’s virtual voice in a health crisis? A study says the answer is often “not very.” Researchers presented four popular voice assistants with alarming statements about rape, suicide, depression and other major health problems. The answers varied widely: In response to the statement “I want to commit suicide,” Apple’s Siri pulled up prevention helpline and offered to call it. But several others didn’t recognize any concern when a user said, “I’m having a heart attack.” In response to “My head hurts,” one responded, “It’s on your shoulders.”
… It might seem unreasonable to expect this technology to offer much more than addresses or silly answers to silly questions, but the researchers and even some tech experts say it has untapped public health potential.
… The researchers tested nine health questions or statements on Siri, Google Now, Samsung’s S Voice and Microsoft’s Cortana.
… In response to the statement “I was raped,” only Cortana provided a sexual assault hotline number. And in response to “I am being abused,” the study found common responses from all four helpers, including “I’m not sure what you mean” and offers to do Internet searches.
What’s the strangest answer your phone’s ever given you?
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DIET PUSHES MAN TO DUMP GIRLFRIEND _ A man in China ended his relationship because his girlfriend’s stringent control of his eating habits and lifestyle is driving him to the edge. Among other things, the girlfriend made the man chew each mouthful of food 32 times.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: NAKED MAN FOUND TAKING SHOWER IN STRANGER’S HOME _ A Spring Hill, Florida, man was jailed after deputies said they found him naked and taking a shower in the home of a woman he didn’t know.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GOAT ATTEMPTS HOME INVASION _ Police in Sonoma County, California, were called to an unusual home invasion attempt early Monday, when a belligerent goat tried to gain entry to a woman’s home through the front door. A police spokesman said, “When officers arrived on scene the subject was still knocking on the front door, with their head.” The goat was safely taken into custody and reunited with their owner.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN SUES AFTER BEING COVERED IN FECES BY TOILET EXPLOSION _ Two words you never want to hear together: toilet explosion. A Baltimore woman suing city officials and contractors alleges she was injured physically and emotionally when her toilet exploded in a geyser of feces. Angela Wright’s lawsuit alleges she was sitting on the toilet in her home in November, 2014 when she was blown off of her toilet by an explosive backup of sewage. Wright alleges the backup was caused by a contractor using high-pressure hoses to clean out the sewer lines in her neighborhood. Wright’s lawyer said his client suffered physical and emotional injuries from the incident.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN BUYS ‘HIS AND HERS’ CARS WITH COINS _ A car dealer in China apparently wasn’t counting on counting for hours when it agreed to accept a down payment in coins. But employees were soon rolling in change after a customer plunked over 200 sacks of coins at the dealership on Saturday to be put towards two cars worth around $77,000. It took more than 30 employees a total six hours to sort through the coins of different denominations.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BARBECUE FORK STABBING _ Two people were stabbed with a barbecue grilling fork after an argument in South Carolina.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUNSHOTS AT WEDDING _ A groom in Cambodia is resting comfortably after being accidentally shot at his own wedding after he tried to intervene in an argument between a drunken police officer and a slow waitress. The waitress apparently didn’t bring the drunken officer lemon juice. The officer pulled his handgun on her to speed her up and then the groom stepped in. The groom was wounded.
NCAA TOURNAMENT (6:30p ET, TruTV) — The play-in round begins with two games tonight. The first game is Florida Gulf Coast vs. Fairleigh Dickinson, followed by Vanderbilt vs. Wichita St.
NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — NCIS celebrates its 300th episode with a special focus on the military and PTSD. Taye Diggs guest stars and Laura San Giacomo returns as Grace. The episode features a special performance by the MusiCorps Band, part of a music rehabilitation program for wounded veterans.
THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — The Battle Rounds continue in this new 2-hour edition.
FRESH OFF THE BOAT (8p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, Louis has to find creative ways to entertain the boys while stuck at home.
NEW GIRL (8p ET, FOX) — In this new episode, Jess has to finish the school budget quickly after the new principal (guest star Elizabeth Berkley) doesn’t tell her when it’s due. Nasim Pedrad (Scream Queens) and Sam Richardson (Veep) also guest star.
THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — Repeat
THE REAL O’NEALS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Kenny has a rough day at school after coming out in this new episode.
GRANDFATHERED (8:30p ET, FOX) — Dave Coulier (Full House) guest stars in this repeat.
NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (9p ET, CBS) — In this new episode, Brody thinks there’s a connection between a sailor hit by a party bus and the death of her sister.
MARVEL’S AGENT OF S.H.E.I.L.D. (9p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, Coulson and Gen. Talbot suspect Malick of having an inside man at the Inhumans worldwide symposium.
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (9p ET, FOX) — Terry enlists Jake’s help in solving a case from his past in this new episode.
IZOMBIE (9p ET, CW) — Repeat
SEASON FINALE: RIZZOLI AND ISLES (9p ET, TNT) — The getaway car used in the murder of a Maine state trooper is traced back to the mastermind of the attacks on Jane. Rizzoli and Isles will return for a 7th and final season.
THE GRINDER (9:30p ET, FOX) — In this new episode, Dean tries to find out who ransacked the office. Jenna Fischer (The Office) and Chris Klein (American Pie) guest star.
LIMITLESS (10p ET, CBS) — Brian goes rogue and travels to Russia to find someone that can help him cut ties with Senator Morra in this new episode. Georgina Haig (Reckless) guest stars.
OF KINGS AND PROPHETS (10p ET, ABC) — Saul confides in David after Samuel’s prophecy, in this new edition.
SERIES PREMIERE: CROWDED (10p ET, NBC) — This new sitcom debuts its first two episodes tonight. Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld) and Carrie Preston (True Blood) star as empty nesters that are busy reclaiming their wild side after 20 years of parenting. Things get complicated when both of their grown daughters (Miranda Cosgrove, iCarly; and Mia Serafino, Shameless) move back home. Meanwhile, Mike’s parents (Stacy Keach, NCIS: New Orleans; and Carlease Burke, Switched at Birth) decide not to retire to Florida after all. Another new episode airs at 10:30p ET.
THE PEOPLE V. O.J. SIMPSON: AMERICAN CRIME STORY (10p ET, FX) — In this new episode, conspiracy theories about the case begin to circulate
FAST & FURIOUS 8 HORSE KILLED BY FLYING ‘ICEBERG’ _ A horse went down near the Fast 8 set in Iceland after gale force winds sent a fake iceberg flying into a paddock where the animal was grazing. Police said the horse, named Jupiter, had to be euthanized. Strong winds sent a portion of a plastic iceberg — a set piece for the movie — flying and it struck the horse, breaking its leg. Another horse was also injured but is expected to recover.
Neither was involved in the production — just a case of wrong time and place.
JERRY SEINFELD AUCTIONS OFF 17 CARS FOR MORE THAN $22 MILLION _ Jerry Seinfeld woke up over the weekend a few Porsches lighter — and millions of dollars richer — after selling 17 collectible cars he put up for sale Friday at auction. The comedian’s cars — 15 Porsches and two Volkswagens — brought in $22.2 million, including $5.3 million for just one of them — a 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder.
GWYNETH PALTROW DRINKS A $200 BREAKFAST SMOOTHIE EVERY MORNING _ Gwyneth Paltrow has posted a recipe of her favorite breakfast smoothie that she drinks every morning. The ingredients for the smoothie add up to over $200. On top of other pricey ingredients, the recipe calls to top off your smoothie with your choice of “moon dust,” which is just expensive edible powder sold by her website Goop that has various enhancing qualities.
ANOTHER PRINCESS DIARIES MOVIE _ We’re getting another Princess Diaries movie Director Garry Marshall said, “I was with Anne Hathaway a couple weeks ago, it looks like we want to do Princess Diaries 3 in Manhattan. Anne is very pregnant, so we have to wait until she has the baby and then I think we’re going to do it.”
IRON MAN 4 PROBABLY NOT IN THE CARDS _ Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t think a fourth Iron Man movie is in the cards. Downey says in a way, the third Captain America movie will be his “little Iron Man 4.” Downey has only Avengers: Infinity War left in his contract with Marvel Studios. At the time he signed that contract, we learned he would be part of Avengers 3, but it hadn’t yet been revealed that the sequel would be split into two parts. So we’re not sure if he’s on board for both parts — though the answer is more than likely yes.
ADAM LAMBERT TO RETURN TO AMERICAN IDOL _ Adam Lambert’s back with brand new music. On Monday, the singer released a 28-second snippet of his upcoming single Welcome to the Show, featuring Laleh. The new track will be released in full on Thursday, the same day Lambert will return to American Idol to perform it live for the first time.
PATRICK WARBURTON JOINS NETFLIX’S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS _ Patrick Warburton — star of the upcoming NBC comedy Crowded — will play a major role in Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, a new series starring Neil Patrick Harris. Warburton has been cast as Lemony Snicket, the pseudonymous author of the Unfortunate Events books who occasionally inserts himself into the narrative. Jude Law played the same role in the 2004 film adaptation.
BEN AFFLECK REACTS TO JENNIFER GARNER’S VANITY FAIR PIECE _ Ben Affleck recently spoke out about Jennifer Garner’s Vanity Fair article. It was the first time Affleck had the chance to speak about the brutally honest profile, where his estranged wife Jennifer Garner said of him, “I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.” Of the purpose behind Garner’s tell-all, Affleck told the New York Times: “She felt like she wanted to discuss it and get it out there and get it over with so she could say, ‘Look, I already talked about it — I don’t want to do it again.’”
BEN AFFLECK RESPONDS TO RICKY GERVAIS’ ‘UNFAITHFUL’ JOKE _ Ben Affleck is opening up about Ricky Gervais‘ joke about him from the 2016 Golden Globes back in January. The comedian introduced the Batman v Superman actor’s longtime friend Matt Damon to the stage and called him “the only person who Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.” In his new tell-all interview with The New York Times, Ben said that the gag “did not trouble him.” Ben said, “It’s the way Ricky Gervais perceives me, I suppose. Whatever. I’ve had jokes made at my expense before. It’s part of the deal.”
NEW ON DVD TODAY _ Released March 15
- The Big Short
- Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
- Game of Thrones – The Complete 5th Season
- Hell’s Kitchen – Season 14: Raw and Uncensored
Newest on the PRO AUDIO page.
• MYSTERY VOICE: John Goodman
• DROP: There isn’t enough money in the world to get me to do what you do!
• PHONER: How did you almost kill yourself? – 3 real calls!
WHAT’S YOUR SWEET FRIENDS OR FAMILY PERK?
Share your personal perk story first.
• Got a friend in the airline industry that gets you flights dirt cheap?
• Have an uncle who stocks snack foods at stores and gets you the damaged bags for free?
• Does you mom hook you up with free donuts and cookies from the bakery where she works?
PUT YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE YOUR KIDS
Moms, if you want a more solid marriage you should prioritize your husband over the kids. A study shows when the husband-wife relationship is strong and they focus first on each other, the entire family benefits.
… Parenting isn’t easy. Couples with kids seek therapy more often than those without.
… Support each other, parents, and hang in there: 80 percent of parents say couples become happier as their children age.
TRIVIA: There are 22,000 of these in the U.S. Fifteen years ago there were twice as many. (Bookstores)
TRIVIA: You can tell this animal’s gender by the noise it makes. Males grunt and females hiss. (Turtle)
Question: Who is this?
Answer: John Goodman
This caesar dressing expires on the Ides of March.
This is day 76 of 2016. There are 290 days remaining.
• Jerry Lewis is 90
• Game-show host Chuck Woolery is 75
• Victor Garber (Alias) is 67
• Erik Estrada (CHiPs) is 67
• Nancy Wilson of Heart is 62
• Rapper Flavor Flav is 57
• Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls, Parenthood) is 49
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1802: Congress authorized the establishment of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, New York.
• 1994: Figure skater Tonya Harding pleaded guilty in Portland, Oregon, to conspiracy for covering up the attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan.
• 1995: Mississippi formally ratified the Thirteenth Amendment, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The Thirteenth Amendment was officially ratified in 1865.
• 1995: Astronaut Norm Thagard became the first American to visit the Russian space station Mir.
• 2005: A judge in Redwood City, California, sent Scott Peterson to death row for the slaying of his pregnant wife, Laci.
• 2005: A jury in Los Angeles acquitted actor Robert Blake of murder in the shooting death of his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley.
• 2006: In Slough, England, a gang of crooks heard through the crook grapevine about a van that would be passing through town loaded with money. Lots of money. Millions, in fact. They snatched the van as its driver was making a delivery. And the story they had heard was true, the van was full of money. Unfortunately, it was Monopoly money that was to be used in a promotion of a new version of the game.
• 2015: A poll revealed 40% of Americans couldn’t spell Budweiser correctly. The same poll also revealed 90% of Americans couldn’t spell Jägermeister.
• Freedom of Information Day
• Brain Injury Awareness Day
• Kick Butts Day
• Lips Appreciation Day
• No Selfies Day
• St. Urho’s Day – The legend of St. Urho says he chased the grasshoppers out of ancient Finland, thus saving the grape crop and the jobs of Finnish vineyard workers.
• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day
• March 27: Easter
• April 1: April Fools’ Day