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This is day 89 of 2016. There are 277 days remaining.
• Eric Idle is 73
• Brendan Gleeson (28 Days Later, Harry Potter) is 61
• Amy Sedaris is 55
• Elle Macpherson is 53
• Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess) is 48
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1951: Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage.
• 1973: Vietnam War: The last United States soldiers left South Vietnam.
• 1984: In the middle of the night, the NFL’s Baltimore Colts packed there belongings and move all operations to Indianapolis.
• 1991: City officials in Encinitas, California, warned that children had begun a dangerous activity by venturing into sewers searching for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
• 1995: M&M’s announced that voters had chosen blue as the new color to be added to their candy.
• 2001: Chuck Sozio of Melrose, Massachusetts, won a whole set of appliances because he had the oldest operating Frigidaire in the U.S. and Canada. Sozio’s fridge, made from wood and porcelain, was still operating after 77 years. He still used it in his garage.
• 2007: After receiving complaints from neighbors, Seattle Animal Shelter staffers found 110 parakeets in a cage in the living room of a one-bedroom apartment.
• National Mom & Pop Business Owner’s Day
• Lemon Chiffon Cake Day
• April 1: April Fools’ Day
• April 3: Major League Baseball opening day
• May 30: Memorial Day
• June 20: Summer begins
5,532: Titles available on Netflix (in the United States as of March 23, 2016).
A carnival in South Philly had to be shut down after a huge fight broke out. [Some people get really testy if you guess their correct weight.]
Zayn Malick has ordered his ex-girlfriend’s mother to leave the house he allowed her to live in. [It’s called relationship spring cleaning.]
Easter Egg hunts in Connecticut and Vermont were ruined after parents began yelling, pushing, and shoving. [The worst part of childhood is parenthood.]
The movie Batman v Superman is doing great at the box office despite predictions. [It’s what the NCAA calls a bracket buster.]
Japan says that it’s having trouble communicating with one of its satellites. [Their both headed for counseling.]
Do you know the TV show that sells the most political commercials? Wheel of Fortune. [“Pat, I’d like to buy a vowel and an attack ad, please.”]
A respected educator and author has a new book where he calls for the end of mandatory algebra in American schools. [Why isn’t this guy running for president?]
Police found a marijuana enterprise and 45 pounds of pot after a man interrupted an Easter Egg hunt, screaming that someone was trying to kill him. [He described the assassin as 7-feet tall, wearing a floor-length white fur coat with a cute fluffy tail.]
A New Jersey Assemblywoman is calling for jail time for anyone caught texting while walking. [And Candy Crush means no parole.]
Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka gave birth to a baby boy. [Now there’s one more person in the family with more hair than Donald.]
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT CRACKS iPHONE _ The FBI said Monday it successfully used a mysterious technique without Apple’s help to hack into the iPhone used by a gunman in a mass shooting in California, effectively ending a court battle between the Obama administration and one of the world’s leading technology companies.
PREGNANT BRUSSELS ATTACK SURVIVOR WRITES LETTER TO HER UNBORN BABY _ A woman who survived the Brussels attack has written a letter to her unborn baby. 28-year-old Sneha Mehta is 16 weeks pregnant. The expectant mom wrote the heartfelt letter explaining how this baby gave her the strength to escape the destruction and how, in spite of all she witnessed, she remains filled with hope for her child’s future. Mehta credits her unborn baby with giving her “faith and a reason to live.” • VIDEO
BRITISH TEAM DEFEATS GERMANS TO WIN WORLD MARBLE CHAMPIONSHIP _ A British team (Yorkshire Meds) captured the World Marbles Championship after last year’s winner from Germany (1st MC Erzgebirge) was knocked out in the semi-finals. Competing teams of six players each try to knock out 49 marbles placed on a six-foot circular concrete slab covered with sand. A point is earned for each marble ejected from the ring by the shooting marble. The first team to reach 25 points wins.
TEENS INJURING THEMSELVES WITH #BANANAPEELCHALLENGE _ The newest way teens are trying to kill themselves: #BananaPeelChalleng. The “challenge” started with Jason Oakes, a teen with a modest Twitter following of 2,000, who “tried to see if banana peels were rlly slipper like in cartoons.” Turns out, they are. And now others are putting down banana peels and trying to kill themselves. • VIDEO
15,000 EGG OMELETTE _ To celebrate Easter, the city of Besseries, France, cooked up a 15,000-egg omelette and served it to an audience of approximately 10,000 people. Every year, members of the Giant Omelette Brotherhood cook up an enormous omelette. The Brotherhood makes the omelette by pouring gallons of yolk into a large pan, then beating and stirring the mixture with “extra long” baguettes.
MORNING MIGHT BE THE BEST TIME FOR A FIRST DATE _ When it comes to first dates, dinner or evening drinks is a lot of people’s go-to. That may seem romantic, but your mental resources are almost depleted by the end of the day, and that can make your first date your only date. As behavioral scientist Francesca Gino explains, research shows that by the time you sit down with your dinner date, you’ll be more easily distracted, you won’t process information as well, and you’ll be more cynical toward your date and judge them a little more harshly. You’ll also be ruder and more likely to make poor decisions.
… That’s why Gino suggests you try for a breakfast date or morning coffee date. Your mental resources will be refreshed (assuming you slept okay), and you’ll be more present.
OFFICERS LURE TRAPPED CAT USING RED-DOT SIGHT ON A TASER _ In La Vista, Nebraska, an officer came across a cat stuck in a tree in a park. The officer propped his body protection shield against the tree while another officer used the red dot sight from a taser to lure the cat onto the makeshift “bridge,” which was lowered to the ground. After getting the animal out of the tree, one officer tweeted several additional pictures and wrote: “cat is in custody. Humane Society on the way. Charges pending for scratching me.”
ANIMAL RESCUE GIVES DYING DOG A BUCKET LIST _ His name is Buddy and in human years he’s about 80. The senior lab-mix was recently diagnosed with cancer, but that isn’t stopping volunteers with A ReJoyceful Animal Rescue in Michigan (Mount Clemens) from packing Buddy’s last days with pleasant surprises on his bucket list. Buddy’s bucket list has included making friends at a pet store, eating a McDonald’s kid’s meal, going to Dairy Queen, and Friday he even became an honorary member of a TV news team.
METEOROLOGISTS MAY SOON GIVE 50-DAY NOTICE FOR EXTREME HEAT _ A new study says meteorologists may soon be able to predict the likelihood of extreme heat in the Eastern United States as much as 50 days in advance. A team of scientists looking for links between heat waves and the water temperatures in the north central Pacific found a correlation strong enough they said it could be used to make “skillful prediction” of extra warm and dry weather about seven weeks before the temperatures rise. And they will start trying to forecast Eastern heat waves starting in May.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PENNSYLVANIA WOMAN TAKES CAB FROM NYC, SKIPS $600 FARE _ A woman is accused of skipping out on a $600 fare after police say she took a taxi 135 miles from New York City to her Pennsylvania home. When the cab arrived at Kelli Boyer’s home around 1 AM Sunday she told the driver she would be back in a few minutes to pay the fare. When she didn’t return in about 15 minutes, the driver called police. Police made several attempts to contact the woman but she refused to answer her door or phone. She’s charged with theft of services.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SCHOOL HANDS OUT SMARTPHONES, EXPELS STUDENTS FOR USING SMARTPHONES _ A boarding school in China upset a lot of parents for expelling 12 students for violating its mobile phone policy after giving them free phones to stay in touch with their parents.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOTHER RECEIVES A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF HER SON _ Dalton Ross was studying abroad and worried about his mother missing him. So like any good son, Ross surprised his mother by sending her a cardboard cutout of himself. His mother appreciated the gift and photographed it in places like a Subway restaurant, a doctor’s office, and a park — where cardboard cutout Dalton is seen playing catch with a dog. • IMAGES
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ARTIST ADVERTISES WEATHER COMPLAINTS HOTLINE _ When Angela Garrick took out classified ads in small Australian newspapers advertising “a professional service” for people to vent their frustrations about the weather, the response was swift. Depressed beachgoers, underdressed travellers, house-bound elderly people and climate conspiracy theorists finally had an outlet. One man complained about an infestation of cockroaches due to the humidity. The dozens of voice messages are being used in Garrick’s art installation at an art gallery.
NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat
THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — Miley Cyrus advises the vocalists for part two of the knockout rounds.
FRESH OFF THE BOAT (8p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, Louis leaves Jessica to deal with an outbreak of lice in the house.
NEW GIRL (8p ET, FOX) — In this new episode, Jess finds out the principal at the new school she is applying to is dating her ex. Lucy Punch (Into the Woods) and David Walton (About a Boy) guest star.
THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — In this new episode, Barry is more determined to stop Zoom after discovering his true identity.
THE REAL O’NEALS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Pat, Jimmy and Kenny go camping in this new episode.
GRANDFATHERED (8:30p ET, FOX) — Repeat
NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat
MARVEL’S AGENT OF S.H.E.I.L.D. (9p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, Agent Mack and his brother step in when a radical group plans to eliminate the Inhumans.
CHICAGO MED (9p ET, NBC) — Nurse Lockwood is arrested for refusing to do a DUI blood test on a patient without his consent in this new episode. Chicago P.D.’s Jason Beghe and Chicago Fire’s David Eigenberg guest star.
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (9p ET, FOX) — Rosa asks Jake to help change Terry’s mind about her new relationship in this new episode. Jason Mantzoukas (The League) guest stars.
IZOMBIE (9p ET, CW) — Liv ingests some useful information about a recently murdered stripper in this new episode.
SEASON PREMIERE: DEADLIEST CATCH (9p ET, Discovery) — The 2-hour season 12 premiere welcomes a new skipper to town. 23-years-old Sean Dwyer of the Brenna A is the youngest captain ever in the history of the show. And on the Cornelia Marie, young skipper Josh Harris takes over the vessel once commanded by his father, the late Captain Phil Harris.
THE GRINDER (9:30p ET, FOX) — Repeat
THE LATE LATE SHOW CARPOOL KARAOKE PRIMETIME SPECIAL (10p ET, CBS) — Jennifer Lopez joins The Late Late Show host James Corden for a special primetime edition of his popular segment. Corden also looks back on his favorite moments from his first year hosting.
BEYOND THE TANK (10p ET, ABC) — In this new edition, the inventors of Happy Feet meet with executives from DeamWorks to secure a licensing deal
CHICAGO FIRE (10p ET, NBC) — Severide reexamines a case while investigating the discovery of a baby’s body in a chimney in this new episode.
THE PEOPLE V. O.J. SIMPSON: AMERICAN CRIME STORY (10p ET, FX) — In this new episode, Johnnie Cochran and F. Lee Bailey go across the country to acquire the Mark Fuhrman tapes.
TOM HANKS SUED FOR SON’S CAR ACCIDENT _ Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are being sued for an accident their son, Chet Haze , had while driving mom and dad’s car. According to the lawsuit Chet rear-ended a guy named Terry Moogan in February, 2015 while driving Tom and Rita’s Chevy. Moogan accuses Chet of driving recklessly and being “under the influence of drugs and or alcohol at the time.” Moogan says Chet’s parents should be responsible since they negligently handed him the keys. As for the drugs and alcohol allegation — Chet didn’t get a DUI for this accident, and in fact cops weren’t even on scene. Moogan’s attorneys claim Chet begged him not to call the police at the time. In the suit, Moogan says he suffered injuries, though he’s not specific. His attorneys claim Moogan got whiplash and a brain injury from hitting his head on the dashboard.
BATMAN V SUPERMAN ACTUALLY ‘TANKED‘ AT BOX OFFICE _ The Batman v Superman haters shared some box office bad news Monday: The $170 million weekend projections for the film turned out to be — ready for this? — about $4 million too high. Yeah, Batman v Superman actually tanked, folks. Although it still set a bunch of records.
NETFLIX PARTY LETS YOU BINGE WITH LONG-DISTANCE BUDS _ Netflix and chill no longer requires you be in the same room as your partner, thanks to a new Netflix Party extension for Chrome web browsers. Once installed, the extension lets viewers sync their start times and adds in a chat sidebar for group banter as you power through all seasons of House of Cards in one sitting. Once one person starts watching something on Netflix, they create a sharable link for friends to join their party and watch at the same speed.
BINGE WATCHING JUST GOT EASIER WITH THIS NIFTY NETFLIX HACK _ We all know Netflix was pretty much created for the sole purpose of binge watching your buns off. But nobody likes to be disturbed by that mood-killing “Are you still watching?” screen that always pops up at the worst time. Or that countdown timer that we have to wait through before the next episode begins. Now we don’t have to worry about any of that jazz thanks to a wonderful Chrome extension. The hack is called Flix Assist and it will automatically click on the “continue watching” button for you. As a bonus, you no longer have to sit through that agonizing countdown to your next episode. • LINK
MELISSA ETHERIDGE ALMOST ASKED BRAD PITT TO BE A SPERM DONOR _ Melissa Etheridge has opened up about selecting a sperm donor for her two children, admitting that she and her then-partner Julie Cypher considered asking Pitt to be the biological father. Etheridge says, “[Brad Pitt] was such a good friend of mine, and we did consider it. And yet, I looked and I saw how badly he wanted children and I thought, ‘I don’t want to share this with someone who really, badly wants children because my children don’t need another parent — they have two.'”
JUDD APATOW AND LESLIE MANN SELL MALIBU GETAWAY _ Director Judd Apatow and actress Leslie Mann sold their Malibu beach house, a thoroughly updated 1930s cottage, for $11.5 million.
JAMES CORDEN RAPS ALONGSIDE J. LO IN PROMO FOR CARPOOL KARAOKE _ James Corden is bringing his Late Late Show “Carpool Karaoke” segment to primetime tonight (Tuesday) and the latest promo for the CBS special is tight. In step to Macklemore’s Downtown, Corden raps in the clip: “Primetime, 10 to 11. Mainstream, like a slice of heaven. Big shot, gonna work like crazy. Sampling my skills like Jay Z.” The special will lead to an epic session with Jennifer Lopez. • VIDEO
… The hope is that Carpool Karaoke might spin off into its own primetime series the way that Jimmy Fallon’s Lip Sync Battle did at Spike.
ELTON JOHN SUED BY EX SECURITY GUARD _ (CAUTION) A lawsuit filed against Elton John claims the singer forced himself on a former security guard, grabbing the man’s genitals on multiple occasions. Jeffrey Wenninger says three alleged incidents went down in 2014. TMZ reports that in the suit, Wenninger says he and Elton were in a car together when Elton put his hands in Wenninger’s pants. He says Elton attempted to grab his genitals and put his fingers between Wenninger’s butt cheeks. According to the suit, Elton then told him to “Get your todger out” and “say hello to Uncle Elton.” Wenninger says he attempted to verbally and physically resist, but it never deterred the singer.
JON LOVITZ-JESSICA LOWNDES ROMANCE WAS AN EARLY APRIL FOOLS JOKE _ It has been a strange few days for actress Jessica Lowndes and veteran comedian Jon Lovitz. The Internet lit up over Easter weekend with speculation that the pair were dating after some intimate social media posts began circulating, including snaps of an engagement ring on her finger and Lovitz’s hand touching her thighs. Turns out Lowndes, who was cast in the CW’s reboot of 90210, and Lovitz were drumming up some mystery for a remix of her single Déjà Vu. Lowndes, 27, first met the 58-year-old Lovitz while shooting an episode of Hawaii Five-0. • VIDEO
… Lowndes said in a statement: “I love a good prank so happy early April Fools!” She and Lovitz first met while shooting an episode of Hawaii Five-0.
GARRY SHANDLING’S FRIENDS PLAY BASKETBALL AS A FINAL GOODBYE _ Last week, actor and comedian Garry Shandling died suddenly after a heart attack at the age of 66. Shandling had a long-standing tradition of hosting pickup basketball games at his house, and over the weekend, some of his many Hollywood friends gathered to celebrate his life with one last game at his residence. Fellow comedian and director Judd Apatow posted a snap on Instagram from the tribute featuring a star-studded bunch that included Kathy Griffin, Jeffrey Tambor and Sarah Silverman. • IMAGE
DIDDY LAUNCHES CHARTER SCHOOL IN HARLEM _ Just when you’re wondering what Sean “Diddy” Combs is working on lately, he reveals his new venture, and it’s one of the best. The musician has founded a charter school in his native neighborhood of Harlem, New York. Diddy says that creating the school is a “dream come true.” The Capital Preparatory Harlem Charter School will open in the fall and will be overseen by Dr. Steve Perry, the founder of Capital Prep Magnet School in Hartford, Connecticut.
… According to Dr. Perry the school has been in the works for six year.
NEW ON DVD TODAY _ Released March 29.
• The Hateful Eight
• Point Break
Newest on the PRO AUDIO page.
• DROP: I have to do what I have to do.
• DROPS: A huge package of April Fools’ Day drops.
• GARY SHANDLING: Gary Shandling talks death on Letterman. – Gary died March 24 at age 66.
WHAT MOVIE GETS YOUR JOB OR HOBBY COMPLETELY WRONG?
Cop shows and cop movies must drive real police officers crazy. What movie gets your job or hobby completely wrong?
APRIL FOOL’S DAY
Here’s a simple April Fool’s Day prank that won’t get you in trouble with the boss/legal. On your Facebook page post:
If this person sends you a friend request don’t accept: http://facebook.com/profile.php?=73322363
The link sends the person clicking to their own Facebook profile.
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
Baseball’s upon us once again and so I’d like to turn to Hall of Fame pitcher Satchel Paige for some advice on How To Stay Young, as inscribed on his tombstone:
• Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.
• If you stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
• Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
• Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain’t restful.
• Avoid running at all times.
• Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.
NON-ATHLETIC HALLS OF FAME
Someday, maybe, guys like (local team player) and (local team player) will land in the (sport) Hall of Fame. But for regular Joes, there is no hall of fame. Or is there. These are real Halls of Fame:
• Accounting (Columbus, Ohio)
• Astronauts (Titusville, Florida)
• Burlesque (Helendale, California)
• Checkers (Petal, Mississippi)
• Chess (Washington D.C.)
• Clowns (Milwaukee, Wisconsin)
• Cowgirls (Fort Worth, Texas)
• Nurses (Washington D.C.)
• Rotten Sneakers “Hall of Fumes” (Montpelier, Vermont)
• Teachers (Emporia, Kansas)
TRIVIA: The average person will go through 16,000 of these over the course of their life. (Gallons of water)
TRIVIA: Almost 3 in 4 teens say they have trouble with this. (Sleeping)
I’m going to give you some words. As I give you each word I’ll ask you to give me a certain number of words that rhyme with it. If you get stuck say “skip it.” But you must complete 4 of the 5 tasks. Ready? Give me…
• 5 words that rhyme with HEAD: bed, bled, bread, bred, dead, dread, fed, fred
• 5 words that rhyme with FLOWER: hour, shower, sour, tower, power
• 4 words that rhyme with DENT: cent, tent, vent, went, lent, meant
• 2 words that rhyme with PILLOW: billow, armadillo
This is day 90 of 2016. There are 276 days remaining.
• John Astin (Gomez Addams on TV’s The Addams Family) is 86
• Warren Beatty is 79
• Eric Clapton is 71
• Robbie Coltrane (Harry Potter) is 66
• Paul Reiser is 59
• MC Hammer is 53
• Ian Ziering (Sharknado TV movies, Beverly Hills 90210) is 52
• Piers Morgan is 51
• Celine Dion is 48
• Mark Consuelos (married to Kelly Ripa) is 45
• Norah Jones is 37
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1842: Anesthesia was used for the first time in an operation.
• 1858: Hymen Lipman patented a pencil with an attached eraser.
• 1867: Alaska was purchased for $7.2 million, about 2 cents/acre by United States Secretary of State William H. Seward. The news media call this “Seward’s Folly”.
• 1964: The TV game show Jeopardy! premiered on NBC.
• 1981: President Ronald Reagan was shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C. hotel by John Hinckley, Jr.
• 1993: In the Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown hit his first home run.
• 2002: The Queen Mother Elizabeth of England died at age 101.
• 2007: Hoping to encourage a couple of pandas to mate, authorities at a zoo in northern Thailand began showing Chuang Chuang and his partner, Lin Hui, videos of other pandas mating. The press called it “panda porn”.
• Doctor’s Day
• Take a Walk in the Park Day
• I Am In Control Day
• Manatee Appreciation Day
• Pencil Day
• April 1: April Fools’ Day
• April 3: Major League Baseball opening day
• May 30: Memorial Day
• June 20: Summer begins