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This is day 231 of 2016. There are 135 days remaining.
• Former First Lady of the United States Rosalynn Carter is 89
• Director Roman Polanski is 83
• Robert Redford (Pete’s Dragon) is 80
• Martin Mull is 73
• Denis Leary is 59
• Reg E. Cathey (The Wire, House of Cards) is 58
• Bob Harper (The Biggest Loser) is 51
• Christian Slater (Mr. Robot) is 47
• Edward Norton is 47
• Malcolm-Jamal Warner is 46
• Andy Samberg is 38
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1587: Virginia Dare became the first child of English parents to be born on American soil, on what is now Roanoke Island, North Carolina.
• 1920: The 19th Amendment to the Constitution, which guarantees the right of women to vote, was ratified when Tennessee became the 36th state to approve it.
• 1969: The Woodstock Music and Art Fair near Bethel, New York, concluded with a mid-morning set by Jimi Hendrix.
• 1997: Beth Ann Hogan became the first coed in the Virginia Military Institute’s 158-year history.
• 2001: In Los Angeles Albert Vance was wanted by the cops on an assault charge. But Al must have gotten word that they were coming because when the police arrived at his house he was nowhere to be found. Playing a hunch, one of the cops got Al’s pager number and dialed it. When they heard a beeping sound coming from the attic, they knew they had their man.
• 2004: In Coventry, England, four masked robbers entered a coin shop armed with guns and knives. They whipped out several large sacks and stuffed them full of valuable coins. Perhaps they should have done a little weight training before taking on the job. The sacks were so full and so heavy that, try as they might, they couldn’t lift them. Not wanting to take the time to remove any of the loot, the crooks fled empty-handed.
• 2011: The West Memphis Three were released from prison after 18 years in imprisonment.
• Bad Poetry Day
• Mail Order Catalog Day
• August 27: College football begins
• September 5: Labor Day
• September 8: NFL season begins
• October 12: Columbus Day
• October 31: Halloween
• November 8: Presidential Election
300: Americans who die of alcohol poisoning each year.
Madonna celebrated her 58th birthday in Cuba. [And now Cuba has stopping speaking to us again.]
The D.C. police chief has resigned and accepted the job as the head of security for the NFL. [Her main job is to make sure that Tim Tebow doesn’t get back in.]
The D.C. police chief has resigned and accepted the job as the head of security for the NFL. [Now she’s really going to see some crime.]
Niagara Falls has added a zip line. [Something has gone horribly wrong if you need a zip line to spice up your honeymoon.]
Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore says that Donald Trump began his presidential bid as simply a stunt to improve his contract negotiating position with NBC, but then accidentally found himself being taken seriously as a White House hopeful. [Actually, that’s probably how we got most of our presidents.]
The new Samsung Galaxy Note 7 goes on sale Friday. It’s getting incredibly good reviews. [Which means that there will definitely be a sequel.]
A New Hampshire police officer smashed the window of car to save a baby from the heat only to discover that the baby was a lifelike doll. [The officer scared the doll so much it peed all over him.]
There’s controversy on Facebook after a 12-year-old girl posted pictures of herself posing with the zebra and giraffe that she killed. [Insiders say that there had been bad blood between the three for some time.]
A new study finds that having too much of the good kind of cholesterol can lead to an early death. [Does this mean that I can now say that I’m eating this cheeseburger only for medicinal purposes?]
Over 500 passengers were forced to abandon ship off the coast of Puerto Rico due to a fire aboard the Caribbean Fantasy. [Well, some people left because of the fire. The rest left because they were sick of the band playing the greatest hits of ABBA.]
POKEMON GO TEXTING SCAMMERS ARE TRYING TO HACK YOU _ There’s been no shortage of Pokémon Go related spam since the app launched last month. And much of it, security researchers (with AdapativeMobile) warn, may be malicious. Thousands of potential Pokémon Go players in North America were recently targeted by an text messaging campaign pushing a malicious web address. The link reportedly led to a sophisticated phishing site which mimicked the real Pokémon Go homepage. The website, PokemonPromo.xxx, is no longer active.
… Phishing scams work by tricking people into handing over sensitive information, like usernames and passwords or credit card and bank credentials, by using techniques that targets might think are credible.
… Another campaign targeting users via text offered thousands of Pokecoins, in-game currency, in exchange for “points.” Users are reportedly prompted to share links “with five of their friends.” The same links have also appeared on social media.
TRUMP TOWER CLIMBER WAITED FOR PARENTS’ VACATION TO PULL STUNT _ The Virginia man who scaled Trump Tower last week waited until his parents went away on vacation before driving to New York City. Prosecutors said Stephen Rogata waited until his parents left before driving from Great Falls, Virginia, to New York before his August 10 climb. Rogata faces charges of reckless endangerment, BASE jumping, criminal trespass and trespass after he climbed up the side of Trump Tower using a device made of suction cups last Wednesday.
… Rogata said in a video posted to YouTube the day before the climb that he wanted a private meeting with Republican nominee Donald Trump and wanted people to vote for the candidate.
STUDY FINDS NUMBER OF DAILY MARIJUANA USERS HAS GROWN _ Between 2002 and 2013, the number of people who consume marijuana daily has risen dramatically A study (published in the Journal of Drug Issues) finds that more people are smoking more marijuana, and those heavy users are mostly poor without a high school education.
… According to the report, in the early 1990s only one in nine people who used marijuana in the last month reported they were consuming daily or near-daily. By 2013 one in three monthly marijuana users reported using daily or near-daily.
McDONALD’S SERVING UP FITNESS TRACKERS IN HAPPY MEALS _ Parents may not equate McDonald’s Happy Meals with physical fitness, but the fast-food giant is trying to change that with a new set of kids toys. Instead of a plastic figurine, book or plush toy, McDonald’s is giving away activity trackers with Happy Meals in the United States and Canada for a limited time. The “step-it” trackers are part of a promotional campaign aimed at getting kids moving again. The fitness trackers, which come in six colors, count steps and blink according to how quickly or slowly the person wearing the device is moving.
… In 2011, McDonald’s began offering the choice between fruit or Go-Gurt with Happy Meals. At the same time, McDonald’s cut the french fries portion size in their kids meal by more than half.
BURN THIS CANDLE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE AND DESPERATELY HOMESICK _ Smell is one of the body’s strongest links to memory. A whiff of your favorite food, the summer breeze or a special soap can make you think of your childhood home. Now you can have that comforting scent anytime, right at your fingertips. A company called Homesick Candles creates custom scents to remind you of your home state. Each jumbo-sized candle burns between 60 and 80 hours, chock full of special, curated smells that represent many of these United States.
… Texas, for example, is “a hint of leather, a bit of fresh cotton, and a just a touch of sage,” to make you feel like you’re deep in the heart of the Lone Star State.
… Florida, naturally, mixes orange, driftwood and sea mist.
… Illinois “takes you back to the Land of Lincoln” with hints of grain fields, violets (the state flower), and lavender.
… And Georgia is a blend of sweet tea and peaches. • LINK
UTAH MAN WEARS HIGH SCHOOL OUTFIT TO REUNION 40 YEARS LATER _ Roger Hepworth knew exactly what to wear to his 40th high school reunion last weekend. The Ogden, Utah, man reached into his closet and pulled out the same outfit he had worn to his senior year cotillion 40 years ago. The outfit was still intact — and it still fit. Hepworth, a father of five, said his outfit from the Hawaiian luau-themed cotillion dance was the only one he had kept from his high school years. The shirt was handmade by his date for the dance, with whom he reunited at the reunion.
WOMAN’S HORROR OF FINDING A BUG IN THE SHOWER _ For some people, spotting a bug in the shower is no big deal. As long as everyone keeps their distance, bug can shower along. But for others who may have a fear of creepy crawlers, seeing a bug in such a vulnerable situation is the worst possible scenario. A Reddit user named Letter10 has a girlfriend who has a fear of insects and Wednesday morning he discovered a note left by his significant other recounting the terror that occurred while he was fast asleep. • IMAGE
… Fortunately for Letter10, his girlfriend was able to to drown the little monster in a pool of shampoo without waking him up, but she did have one request. EDITOR: The note may not be safe to post on your blog or social media. See the little doodle she included with the letter.
TESTICLE-BITING FISH INVADING DENMARK _ (CAUTION) Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, a cousin of the piranha that goes after swimmer’s testicles has been found in coastal waters between Sweden and Denmark. And fish experts are warning locals to stay aware — in order to stay whole. The creature in question is a red-bellied pacu, and is native to the Amazon. Pictures of the freaky fish frequently make the rounds of inboxes because of its strangely human-looking teeth.
… Though its teeth are used mainly to crush nuts and fruits, the pacu eats other fish and invertebrates and there have been some reports of human attacks.
ALGORITHM FINDS SIGNS OF DEPRESSION IN YOUR INSTAGRAM FEED _ While Instagram data can already be used to guess your age, a new research paper shows how it might also be used to check upon your mental health. Using a set of machine learning tools and several dozen users’ Instagram feeds, a team of researchers from Harvard and the University of Vermont have built a model that can accurately spot signs of clinical depression. By reviewing “color analysis, metadata components, and algorithmic face detection” in each user’s feed, the model was able to correctly identify which Instagrammers showed symptoms of depression about 70 percent of the time, even before they had been clinically diagnosed.
YOUR BRAIN BOOTS UP IN THE MORNING _ Did you know your brain boots up in the morning just like a computer? As we yawn and open our eyes the brain stem sends little puffs of nitric oxide to another part of the brain, the thalamus, which then directs it elsewhere. Like a computer booting up its operating system before running more complicated programs, the nitric oxide triggers certain functions that set the stage for more complex brain operations.
… A study says these first moments of the day, sensory information floods the system — the bright sunlight coming through the curtains, the time on the screeching alarm clock — and all of it needs to be processed and organized, so the brain can understand its surroundings and begin to perform more complex tasks.
COMPUTER SCAMMERS MESS WITH HACKER’S MOTHER _ A French hacker who spends most of his time hunting down malware discovered that his parents’ computer had been infected. Their computer got malware that creates those popups that claim your computer is infected and the only way to fix it is to pay for a $50 or $80 program. Which ends up making things worse.
… The French hacker stepped in, took control of his parents’ computer and pretended to upload an image of his credit card. But hidden in the message was a virus that infected the computer of the guy who was trying to scam his parents.
102-YEAR-OLD WOMAN CREDITS BEER FOR A LONG LIFE _ A 102-year-old woman in South Carolina says her daily 4 o’clock routine has helped her reach such a grand old age. Mildred Bowers turns 103 later this month and has told anyone looking to match her time on Earth that a beer a day goes a long way to keeping her feeling fit and young. Bowers currently enjoys a 4 o’clock beer everyday in her assisted-living facility, and cites it as a “critical part”.
… It took her nurses some convincing when she first floated the idea. They checked with the doctor, who immediately said “yes”. → Well yes you say “yes” to a 102-year-old who wants beer. At 102 a doctor should say “yes” to anything. If she says, “I’d like to try cocaine and skydiving tomorrow,” you say, “Yes!”
MEDALS: Current medal count
AUDIO: Olympic fanfares (.zip file) – InterPrep purchased a license for affiliates to use these beds and workparts. For use only on subscribing stations.
TV: Schedules across all networks
TELEVISION _ Some highlights of the Rio Olympics today include: the men’s 400m hurdles final, with the last two Olympic silver medalists, Kerron Clement (2008) and Michael Tinsley (2012), looking to continue Team USA’s rich tradition in the event. (10a ET, NBC)
… It’s triathlon time, and the UK’s Brownlee brothers will be defending their medals (10am ET, USA)
… Americans Jessica Parratto and Katrina Young, each a first-time Olympian, compete in the semifinal round of women’s platform diving (2p ET, NBC)
… The US Women’s basketball team takes on France in the semifinals at 6pm on NBC Sports Network.
… The US Women’s volleyball team takes on Serbia in the semifinals at Noon ET on NBC
… For all events, times and networks of today’s Olympic schedule.
FLOTUS GOT ALY RAISMAN TO CLARIFY HER STANCE ON JUNK FOOD _ The Final Five gymnasts — made up of Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Laurie Hernandez, Gabby Douglas and Madison Kocian — are riding high on their Olympic wins. So they took to Twitter for a question-and-answer session on Wednesday, responding to the #AskFinalFive hashtag. Some pretty big names got in on the action, including The Rock, Zac Efron and Michelle Obama. When asked what their favorite cheat food was after a workout or competition, fries and ice cream was the response.
… But then FLOTUS tweeted: Hey #FinalFive! We are so proud of you. What healthy foods keep you fueled as you go for gold? #LetsMove. Aly Raisman tweeted back: “Ignore our recent tweet about eating fries & ice cream. Sometimes u gotta splurge. Moderation, right?” Then she added, “Salmon, avocado, whole wheat bread, almonds, pineapples & Greek yogurt.”
SIMONE MANUEL JOKES OF HER SUDDEN BABY NAME POPULARITY _ Two of Team U.S.A.’s breakout Olympic stars may soon be sharing their name with a lot more people. Gymnast Simone Biles and swimmer Simone Manuel — who both won multiple medals at the Rio Games — may have inspired a growing number of parents-to-be to consider their moniker. The Google search for “Simone baby name” has spiked an impressive 230 percent in the month of August.
Manuel is into the idea of being someone’s namesake, tweeting on Wednesday, “Lol. Maybe my daughter will be ‘Simone Jr.'”
… Simone is derived from the name Simon, which is traditionally used for boys. Multiple baby names websites list the meaning of Simone as “heard” or “to hear.”
UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA HAS 48 OLYMPIC ATHLETES _ The University of Georgia has produced an astonishing 48 athletes at the Rio Games this year. Its ten medals would put them 14th in the ranking if alumni of the university were considered their own nation. That’s two above the host nation, Brazil.
SIMONE MANUEL WAS GREETED WITH A MARCHING BAND AT THE AIRPORT _ Missy Franklin was met at her house with paper hearts and messages. Katie Ledecky was mobbed with hugs. And according to video posted by the Associated Press, Simone Manuel received a hero’s welcome with cheering fans and even a marching band. • VIDEO
… Manuel came home from Rio with four medals, including the first-ever individual gold medal won by an African-American woman in swimming.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DOCTORS DOUBT WOMAN’S 17-MONTH PREGNANCY _ Doctors in central China are skeptical of a woman’s claims that she has been an expectant mother for more than 17 months. The 20-something said she became pregnant in February 2015. When she didn’t give birth in November she began to worry. Doctors say they are “perplexed” by the prolonged pregnancy, though they have their doubts since the woman has refused to undergo an ultrasound. They say there’s no evidence, medical or otherwise, that suggests she has been pregnant for 17 months.’
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DAD FINDS POT BROWNIES, EATS, IS MEAN TO CAT _ Omaha police officers were called to a house Tuesday night to investigate an accidental overdose. They learned that a 53-year-old man had been unloading groceries and found some brownies in the backseat of a car that his adult children had used earlier in the day. The man ate four of the brownies.
… The man’s wife told police that as she and her husband were watching TV, he said that he was getting “bad anxiety.” She tried to call their children to ask them what was in the brownies but couldn’t reach them. While police were at the house, one of the couple’s sons arrived and told officers the brownies belonged to his siblings. He told them he was “pretty sure it was just marijuana in the brownies.”
… Paramedics called to the scene who checked the man found his vital signs to be normal. But they noted he was displaying odd behavior — crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat names.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BUS DRIVER HOLDS PASSENGERS CAPTIVE ON SIX HOUR DETOUR _ On Sunday a bus driver working for a German travel company was supposed to drive his 40 passengers from one city to another in about eight hours. But after about four, he realized he had taken the double decker, which would be needed for another, more heavily-booked trip. So the guy just turned around and headed back. The passengers were mad. Very made. Many wondered why they couldn’t be let off before the driver turned around. Instead, the bus driver pulled into a parking lot, and did a 180. Luckily, the passengers got their money back and a free voucher for another bus ride.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POSTAL WORKER CAUGHT DELIVERING MAIL TO DUMPSTER _ A Florida pizzeria’s security camera was rolling when a postal carrier drove up to a dumpster in her truck and unloaded hundreds of pieces of mail. Louie Rondao, owner of Luigiana’s Pizza (in San Carlos Park) said he was shocked when his security camera recorded the incident. The dumped mail included about 400 business flyers mailed out by a realtor. The U.S. Postal Service said the pieces of mail were recovered from the dumpster and will be delivered to their intended recipients. WHAAAT? No, nobody wants those delivered to their home! Well, maybe if they smell like pizza it’ll be OK.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COP HOPS ON KID’S BIKE TO PURSUE SUSPECT _ In Germany, cops got their car got stuck on a narrow path while pursuing a moped-riding suspect. Rather than give up, one of the officers jumped on a child’s bike and successfully chased down and arrested the man.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MY 4-YEAR-OLD CRASHED THE CAR _ Police in Pennsylvania said a man accused of drunken driving told them his four-year-old son was at the wheel when it crashed into a tree. The man told them his son, who was sitting on his lap, had turned the wheel too far to one side, sending the vehicle careening off the road. Dad and son were OK, but police busted dad for having an open 30-pack of beer and a cooler in the vehicle when the crash occurred.
RIO OLYMPICS (8p ET, NBC) — Coverage in primetime highlights: Track and field (men’s shot put final, women’s javelin final, men’s 1500m decathlon, women’s 400m hurdles final, men’s 200m final); women’s volleyball (semifinal); women’s diving (platform final); men’s beach volleyball (gold medal final).
THE BIG BANG THEORY (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat
BATTLEBOTS (8p ET, ABC) — Repeat
ROSEWOOD (8p ET, FOX) — Repeat
DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (8p ET, CW) — Repeat
LIFE IN PIECES (8:30p ET, CBS) — Repeat
BIG BROTHER (9p ET, CBS) — A houseguest is evicted and the head of household competition is held in this new edition.
$100,000 PYRAMID (9p ET, ABC) — Repeat
BONES (9p ET, FOX) — Repeat
MY LAST DAYS (9p ET, CW) — Featured tonight are a 25-year-old with stomach cancer and a 21-year-old with a rare medical condition has already outlived her life expectancy and works to build awareness for MPS VI.
CODE BLACK (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat
MATCH GAME (10p ET, ABC) — Repeat
LIP SYNC BATTLE (10p ET, Spike TV) — This “new” episode features CeeLo Green and comic Russell Peters, with first-hand celebrity accounts and secrets behind song choices
TAYLOR SWIFT DONATES $1 MILLION TO LOUISIANA FLOOD RELIEF _ Louisiana was hit with heavy rain and record flooding over the weekend, which has resulted in thousands of people losing their homes. As a result, Taylor Swift has decided to donate $1 million to the relief effort in the state and encourages others to help, too. Taylor said in a statement Wednesday: “We began the 1989 World Tour in Louisiana, and the wonderful fans there made us feel completely at home. The fact that so many people in Louisiana have been forced out of their own homes this week is heartbreaking. I encourage those who can to help out and send your love and prayers their way during this devastating time.”
J.K. ROWLING ANNOUNCES HARRY POTTER SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS _ Hot on the heels of the release of the script of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, J.K. Rowling announced a new series of Wizarding World ebooks, known as “Pottermore Presents.”
… Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide will dive deeper into secrets and lore of the magical school; Short Stories from Hogwarts of Power, Political and Pesky Poltergeists will feature a new story with background on Professor Slughorn; and Short Stories from Hogwarts of Heroism, Hardship and Dangerous Hobbies, will reveal the history of Professor Kettleburn, along with more information on Professor McGonagall’s role in the Second Wizarding War.
… The three books are a compilation of some of the writing from Rowling already on the Pottermore fan site, coupled with new stories in that world that are being published for the first time. The ebooks are all scheduled to be released in just a few weeks, on September 6, for $2.99 apiece.
THERE IS NO WAY THE OLSEN TWINS ARE COMING TO FULLER HOUSE _ Many were thrilled when Fuller House debuted earlier this year on Netflix. But that happiness was tempered a bit when it became clear that not everyone would make their return to the series — in particular, youngest sister Michelle Tanner. Because Michelle’s former twin portrayers Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are sorta busy. When asked about trying to convince the twins to make a cameo, Jodie Sweetin suggested that it just wouldn’t happen. She told Entertainment Tonight, “We’ve tried everything. I think we’ve kinda given up.” On the bright side, Sweetin previewed that we have a bunch of really fun celebrity cameos to look forward to in Season 2, despite the Olsens’ absences.
HEADSET LETS YOU SMELL FARTS AS YOU PLAY THE NEW SOUTH PARK GAME _ In an upcoming videogame, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, the main character’s superpower is farting. And to full immerse the game player in the videogame, a special headset will come with it — and it produces fart smells. When your character makes a stink, you’ll smell the gas too.
DAVID SCHWIMMER SAYS ‘FRIENDS’ MADE IT HARD FOR HIM TO MAKE FRIENDS _ David Schwimmer says that he learned the limelight couldn’t be any lonelier at the height of Friends mania. Schwimmer told The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter Podcast: “It was pretty jarring and it messed with my relationship to other people in a way that took years, I think, for me to adjust to and become comfortable with.”
… All that attention also made it more difficult for Schwimmer to practice his craft: “As an actor, the way I was trained, my job was to observe life and to observe other people, so I used to walk around with my head up, really engaged and watching people. The effect of celebrity was the absolute opposite: It made me want to hide under a baseball cap and not be seen. And I realized after a while that I was no longer watching people; I was trying to hide.”
DONNER PARTY MOVIE WITH A TWIST COMING _ In 1846, a group of pioneers wound up snowbound in the Sierra Nevada and some resorted to cannibalism in order to survive. Throw a Walking Dead twist into this tragic tale, and that’s the book proposal, titled The Hunger, that 20th Century Fox has acquired the rights to develop into a feature film.
ADELE CANCELS PHOENIX CONCERT DUE TO ILLNESS _ Adele was forced to cancel Wednesday’s Phoenix show due to a nasty cold. The British singer announced the news the day of the show to fans in an emotional Instagram video. • VIDEO
CREW MEMBER SUES OVER SELMA MOVIE ACCIDENT _ The Oscar nominated film Selma could have cost an electrician his life — and now he’s suing the studio. Ron Sands says he was installing a special light for filming back in June 2014 on the Atlanta set when a safety feature failed, and he ended getting a huge zap. He says he suffered severe physical injuries, but isn’t any more specific.
… In the federal lawsuit, he says he got hit with 220 volts.
CLUE REMAKE COMING _ A remake of the 1985 movie Clue is back on track. The murder mystery board game was developed during the 1940s in England with the object to determine who murdered the game’s victim, where in a mansion the crime took place and which weapon was used. Players assume one of six identities — Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock, Mr. Green, Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White.
… The original film grossed less than $15 million.
FIRED ‘CRIMINAL MINDS’ STAR THOMAS GIBSON JOINS TWITTER _ Thomas Gibson is speaking out for the first time since he was fired from Criminal Minds. The 54-year-old actor joined Twitter to connect with fans. In his first tweets he said, “I wish I could thank each of you for your friendship & support. I love Criminal Minds, & I’m disappointed by what’s happened #ThomasGibson.” And: “I’m here on #Twitter so we can stay connected in the days to come, and talk directly with each other. #ThomasGibson”
ON THE PRO AUDIO PAGE…
• KIDS: Kids saying who they want to be President. → From the archives but a lot more topical now.
• PHONER: What’s the weird way you met your significant other? → See Wacky-But-True August 16.
• DROP: Look at yourselves. Will you just look at yourselves.
BLOG: THE BEST AND WORST MOVIES OF SUMMER 2016
If you create original content for your station website, a good topic is The Best and Worst Movies of Summer 2016. If you have a movie reviewer record a session with him and add the audio to a short text version.
Or do a roundtable discussion with members of your airstaff, turn it into a bulleted list and include the audio on the same page.
WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GETTING OLD?
Someone asked on Reddit: When did you realize you were getting old?
• The first time I saw a police officer and thought, ‘What is that kid doing in a uniform?’
• Hung out with a friend from high school and we excitedly discussed what kind of vacuum cleaner we’d like to have.
• When I worked at a university and realized I was checking out students’ moms more often than the students.
• When I pulled up my pants incorrectly and ruptured a vertebrae in my lower back leaving me nearly immobile for a week.
• When I was unable to figure out how to use Snapchat.
When did you realize you were getting old?
WHAT A WAY TO GO
Hypochondriacs and paranoid people might just want to tune out for about 2 minutes. It’s not happy stuff, but we’re all going to go sometime. How will it happen for you? The odds of dying in a…
• SHARK ATTACK – 300,000,000/1 — Roughly 40 people are killed every year from shark attacks.
• FAIRGROUND ACCIDENT – 300,000,000/1– Despite safety measures, deaths do occur, often because fair-goers try something dumb, like climbing out of a ride before it’s over.
• FALLING COCONUT – 250,000,000/1 — Coconuts apparently kill around 150 people every year. Falling from a height of 80 feet, they can build up an impact speed of 50 mph.
• PLANE CRASH – 11,000,000/1 — Plane crashes worldwide claim 1,300 people every year.
• LIGHTNING – 10,000,000/1 — Men are four times more likely to be struck than women.
• ESCAPE OF RADIATION FROM A NEARBY NUCLEAR POWER STATION – 10,000,000/1 — The chances of an explosion at a nuclear reactor are increasing with the risk of terrorism and as conventional fuels run out. The Chernobyl nuclear disaster and its aftermath has killed an estimated 30,000 people.
• DYING IN TERRORIST ATTACK – 9,300,000/1 — Last year there were 651 significant international terrorist attacks worldwide, killing nearly 2,000 people.
• LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE KILLED USING A RIGHT-HANDED PRODUCT – 4,400,000/1 — Believe it or not, more than 2,500 left-handed people are killed every year around the world from using equipment meant for right-handed people. The right-handed power saw is the most deadly item.
• SNAKE BITE – 3,500,000/1 — Snake bites kill an estimated 25,000 people a year. More people die from snakebite in India than in any other country in the world, with the total death toll estimated I to average 10 – 12,000 annually.
• FOOD POISONING – 3,000,000/1 — Every year around 200 people die as a result of eating contaminated food.
• FALLING OFF A LADDER – 2,300,000/1 — A quarter of all falls happen off ladders.
• FALLING OUT OF BED – 2,000,000/1 — In Britain around 20 people die from falling out of bed every year, with the young and the elderly most at risk.
• DROWNING IN THE BATHTUB – 685,000/1 — Around 25 babies drown in baths every year.
• TRAIN CRASH – 500,000/1 — Public transport is still the safest way to travel.
• ROAD ACCIDENT – 8,000/1 — Worldwide, over 3,000 people are killed in road crashes daily.
• CANCER – 5/1 — Around 130,000 people die from cancer every year, of whom 65,000 are under 75. The most common killers are lung, breast, colon and prostate cancer.
• HEART ATTACK OR STROKE – 2.5/1 — Someone has a heart attack every two minutes
TRIVIA: People who drink the stuff drink about 23 gallons a year. (Coffee)
TRIVIA: Before he died, film critic Roger Ebert did this 31,260 times. (Tweeted)
SNAKE OR NOT!
• King snake (snake)
• Black snake (snake)
• Python (snake)
• Trigger snake (not)
• Milk snake (snake)
• Hognose (snake)
• Terrier snake (not)
• Ribbon snake (snake)
• Java snake (not)
A French cyclist who encountered a family of curious skunks in the road managed to avoid the stink by holding still.
When it’s too cold to golf.
This is day 232 of 2016. There are 134 days remaining.
• Ginger Baker (Cream, Blind Faith) is 77
• Bill Clinton is 70
• Gerald McRaney (Simon & Simon) is 69
• Jim Carter (Downton Abbey) is 68
• Jonathan Frakes (Star Trek: The Next Generation) is 64
• Peter Gallagher (The O.C., Covert Affairs) is 61
• John Stamos (Full House, Fuller House) is 53
• Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) is 51
• Kevin Dillon (Entourage) is 51
• Matthew Perry is 47
• Erika Christensen (Parenthood) is 34
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1906: Inventor Philo Farnsworth was born. Philo gave us the first electronic television.
• 1921: Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry was born.
• 1976: President Gerald R. Ford won the Republican presidential nomination at the party’s national convention in Kansas City.
• 1996 Miss Universe Yoseph Alicia Machado Fajardo of Venezuela was told to lose 27 pounds or lose her crown.
• 2004: Internet search engine Google went public.
• 2005: Jim Peterson and his deckhand were tuna fishing off the Oregon coast when the transmission seized up on their a 38-foot, 60-year-old wooden troller. Peterson was able to get the boat running again, but only in reverse. The pair could have radioed the Coast Guard for a tow, but decided instead to head for port bass-ackward. With their top speed of seven knots cut in half, the wrong-way duo, sleeping off and on, made the trip back to land in 39 hours.
• 2008: Reno, Nevada, fire investigators found an unusual cause of a blaze that damaged a home — spider killing. Officials say a teenager was using fire to try to kill spiders when he accidentally set a fence on fire that then also burned part of his home. The fire burned through a wall and damaged a kitchen ceiling before firefighters put it out.
• Aviation Day
• International Orangutan Day
• Men’s Grooming Day
• World Humanitarian Day
• August 27: College football begins
• September 5: Labor Day
• September 8: NFL season begins
• October 12: Columbus Day
• October 31: Halloween
• November 8: Presidential Election
SATURDAY, AUGUST 20
• Robert Plant is 68. Rudy Gatlin of the Gatlin Brothers is 64. John Hiatt is 64. Weatherman Al Roker is 62. Joan Allen is 60. Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit is 46. Amy Adams is 42. Andrew Garfield is 33. Demi Lovato is 24.
• Potato Day. International Tongue Twister Day. National Radio Day. Sand Castle Day. World Honey Bee Day.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 21
• Kenny Rogers is 78. Harold Reid of the Statler Brothers is 77. Jackie DeShannon is 75. Kim Cattrall is 60. Carrie-Anne Moss is 46. Usain Bolt is 30. Brooks Wheelan (SNL) is 30. Kacey Musgraves is 28.Hayden Panettiere is 27.
• Poet’s Day. Spumoni Day. Senior Citizen’s Day.