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This is day 267 of 2016. There are 99 days remaining.


• Julio Iglesias is 73

• Bruce Springsteen is 67

• Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) is 57

• Chi McBride (Hawaii Five-0, Boston Public) is 55

• Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson/Falcon in Marvel movies) is 38


• 63 B.C.: Caesar Augustus was born in Rome.

• 1642: Harvard College in Cambridge, Massachusetts, held its first commencement.

• 1779: American commander John Paul Jones is said to have declared, “I have not yet begun to fight!” during a Revolutionary War naval battle.

• 1806: The Lewis and Clark expedition returned to St. Louis from the Pacific Northwest.

• 1846: The planet Neptune was discovered by German astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle.

• 1930: Musician Ray Charles was born Ray Charles Robinson in Albany, Georgia.

• 1952: Republican vice-presidential candidate Richard M. Nixon went on TV to deliver what came to be known as the “Checkers” speech as he refuted allegations of improper campaign financing.

• 1990: Iraq threatened to destroy Middle East oil fields and attack Israel if other nations tried to force it from Kuwait.

• 2004: Thieves who broke into a delivery truck in a parking lot in Sweden made off with about 150,000 pairs — or about three tons — of low-cost reading glasses. Police think it must have taken several hours to transfer the glasses to another truck.

• 2012: Iran blocked the use of Google as a search engine.


• Love Note Day

• Restless Legs Awareness Day

• Hug a Vegetarian Day


• October 12: Columbus Day

• October 31: Halloween

• November 6: Daylight Saving Time Ends (fall back one hour)

• November 8: Presidential Election

More holidays



• Newsman Lou Dobbs is 71. Gordon Clapp is 68. Kevin Sorbo is 58. Nia Vardalos is 54.

• Fish Amnesty Day. National Hunting and Fishing Day. National Museum Day. Punctuation Day.


• Barbara Walters is 87. Michael Douglas is 72. Cheryl Tiegs is 69. Anson Williams is 67. Mark Hamill is 65. Michael Madsen is 58. Heather Locklear is 55. Will Smith is 48. Catherine Zeta-Jones is 47. Zach Woods is 32.

• Gold Star Mother’s Day. International Day of The Deaf. One-Hit Wonder Day. Pharmacists Day.


1.1 billion: Revenue, in dollars, by shoe company Crocs in 2015.


Scientists say that they have found the world’s oldest civilization. [They found them at home, binge watching Hot in Cleveland.]

Once again Blue Bell ice cream has had to issue a recall over fear of listeria. [Why don’t they just throw in the towel and make listeria one of its official flavors?]

Critics are blasting a clumsy effort to repair a 700-year-old crumbling section of China’s Great Wall. [People say it looks like it’s wearing a concrete combover.]

Yahoo admits that millions of email accounts have been breached. [I hope the hackers do me the favor of emptying my overcrowded inbox.]

The MacArthur Foundation has announced the winners of its annual genius grants. [So, Kathie Lee and Hoda can stop sitting by the phones.]

Mark Zuckerberg and his wife announced a $3 billion plan to wipe out all disease. [Now maybe my mother will finally stop bugging me about not going to medical school.]

An 11-year-old girl in Georgia was arrested for bringing a knife to school to fight off those creepy clowns she’s heard about in the news. [It didn’t help that walking each day to and from school she has to pass through two circuses and a carnival.]

Two Northern California women were arrested for keeping four men captive to work an illegal marijuana crop. [It’s all part of the growing California farm-to-table-to-jail movement.]

Marion Cotillard continues to deny having an affair with Brad Pitt. [She must be telling the truth. How many women do you know who would keep quiet about having an affair with Brad Pitt?]

Outspoken boxing promoter Don King has come out in support of Donald Trump. [I’m not surprised. Dons with big egos and crazy hair tend to stick together.]


YAHOO SAYS 500 MILLION ACCOUNTS STOLEN _ Yahoo confirmed on Thursday data “associated with at least 500 million user accounts” have been stolen in what may be one of the largest cybersecurity breaches ever. The company said it believes a “state-sponsored actor” was behind the data breach, meaning an individual acting on behalf of a government. The breach occurred in late 2014.

… The account information may have included names, email addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, passwords and, in some cases, encrypted or unencrypted security questions and answers.

HOW A HACKER CAN TRICK YOU INTO INFECTING YOUR COMPUTER _ Just how trusting are you when it comes to your computer? Sure, you probably delete suspicious emails and avoid sketchy website downloads, but what if you found a random USB drive in your mailbox? Hackers are betting that you’ll be more curious than suspicious. In a public safety notice posted by the Victoria Police Department in Australia, officials are warning citizens to keep a close eye on their real-life mailboxes. According to the department, unmarked USB drives have begun appearing in peoples’ mail all across the area.

… Without even knowing what they are, the unlucky recipients have been plugging the tiny drives into their computers and infecting themselves with dangerous software. Stored on the USB drive, a fake “media streaming” service attempts to defraud the user. You should never put unknown or suspicious drives in your computer at any time.

STEPHEN HAWKING IS WORRIED ALIEN THREAT _ In his new half-hour program, Stephen Hawking’s Favorite Places, the famed theoretical physicist warns that announcing our presence to alien civilizations, particularly those that could be more technologically advanced than we are, is probably a bad idea.

… Gliese 832C is a ‘super-Earth’ only 16 light-years away. It’s the sort of world that Hawking hopes to scan for alien signals using some of the most advanced audio-gathering radio telescopes we can get our hands on. But if we find intelligent life, Hawking isn’t so sure it’s going to be all that welcoming. He warns: “If intelligent life has evolved (on Gliese 832c), we should be able to hear it. One day we might receive a signal from a planet like this, but we should be wary of answering back. Meeting an advanced civilization could be like Native Americans encountering Columbus. That didn’t turn out so well.”

… Others, like Doug Vakoch, president of METI International, says the damage is done. We’ve been revealing ourselves to listeners outside our planet for decades through a myriad of radio, television and other signals. Put simply, there’s really no point to cease contact — if our alien overlords are coming for us, there’s not much we can do..

TEEN TRIES TO MASK CIGARETTE SMOKE, CAUSES EXPLOSION _ A German teenager suffered injuries after accidentally creating an explosion in the family car with air freshener. The 17-year-old had been trying to get rid of the smell of cigarette smoke in a recently purchased secondhand Volkswagen SUV. They say the teen sprayed so much air freshener inside the vehicle that it turned into a “combustible gas mixture.” The gas ignited when he opened the passenger door and a light switched on. The force of the explosion blew out the vehicle’s large glass sunroof. The teen was burned on his arms.

COLD SHOWERS MIGHT BE GOOD FOR YOU _ Should you be taking some cold showers? Researchers had subjects add a cold shower at the end of their regular hot shower routine to measure its effects on heath and other lifestyle factors. They found that cold showering significantly reduced the number of sick days that the subjects took during the study (though not the number of illness days). The authors hypothesize that this was caused by the invigorating effect of the cold shower, which some subjects compared to a jolt of caffeine. In fact, the subjects enjoyed the cold showering so much that the majority of them continued to do it even after that phase of the study ended.

SPECIAL WEDDING CEREMONY HELD INSIDE TRAFFIC TUNNEL _ Few people would be happy to encounter a traffic jam on the highway, and it would be all the more annoying if you were on the way to your own wedding. But a Chinese couple made the best of this very situation when they held a special wedding ceremony inside a traffic tunnel. The whole scenario was put into motion thanks to a traffic jam, which was caused by an accident. One hour later, nearly 100 vehicles were still trapped inside the tunnel. Fortunately for their drivers, an exciting distraction was about to begin. Local customs dictate that wedding ceremonies be held before 12:00 PM. Therefore, when several cars on the way to a wedding got stuck in the tunnel — including that of the bride and groom — the couple decided to hold a simple ceremony in the tunnel instead. Passersby were invited to witness the special event.

STOLEN COLORADO DOG DISCOVERED FIVE YEARS LATER IN MISSOURI _ A volunteer at an animal shelter in Missouri helped track the owner of a dog stolen from its home in Colorado five years earlier. Animal control officers discovered the stray dog with outdated microchip information, but volunteer Melissa Morton managed to track down the St. Bernard’s family. The dog’s original owner Brenda Mahaffey said she and her two special-needs daughters adopted the dog, Missy, from a Colorado animal shelter five years ago and the plan back then was to train it as a special needs service dog. Brenda says when Missy comes home to Colorado “we’re going to go for walks and then I’m going to take her to a park like we used to.”

CANADIAN MAN SURVIVED A BEAR ATTACK WITH A WINE BOTTLE _ For anyone second-guessing whether or not wine is good for your health, just talk to Jack Ballantyne. The Canadian nature-lover used a wine bottle to fend off a bear in Saskatchewan. Jack was drinking in a remote area when the bear approached and attacked him. Jack fought off the bear with his wine bottle, while also proceeding to punch the bear in the nose. Luckily, Jack’s immediate injuries were only scratches and a sore back. He went to the hospital a few hours later to treat signs of internal bleeding, but was released the next day.

STUDY SUGGESTS PIGEONS CAN RECOGNIZE WORDS _ A group of researchers from New Zealand (University of Otago) were able to train four pigeons to consistently — with 70% accuracy — recognize dozens of words. The smartest pigeon learned about 60 words that it could distinguish from about 1,000 non-words. It marks the first time that a non-primate has been found to have an orthographical brain. That means a brain that has the ability to recognize letters.

1961 DAD LOOKED LIKE MATT DAMON _ A Reddit user who posted a picture from their parents’ wedding day has gone viral because of the father’s resemblance to Matt Damon. The black and white photo shared by the anonymous Redditor — taken in February 1961 — shows the groom with his arm wrapped around the bride’s waist as the two stand smiling at each other. It would be a perfectly normal wedding photo — that is, if the groom didn’t just like Matt Damon. • IMAGE

… The actor was born 9½ years later — maybe he’s really a time traveler who popped into the 1960s for a bit?

ARCHAEOLOGISTS FIND EVIDENCE OF 3,000-YEAR-OLD COOKING DISASTER _ Have you ever left a pan on the heat a bit too long while cooking, resulting in a hardened mess? You’ll be glad to know that Norsemen living 3,000 years ago are just like us: archaeologists say they’ve unearthed evidence of a cooking disaster involving burnt cheese. Archaeologists found an intact Bronze Age clay pot with the charred residue of what was once like a kind of cheese at a dig site in Denmark.

TESLA UPDATE HALTS AUTOMATIC STEERING IF DRIVER INATTENTIVE _ Tesla Motors says a software update to its Autopilot system will disable automatic steering if drivers don’t keep their hands on the wheel. The update also adds multiple features, including improved radar, better voice commands and an industry-first temperature control system that helps prevent kids and pets from overheating.

U.S. ASTRONAUT WILL VOTE FROM ORBIT IF HOMECOMING IS DELAYED _ The lone American in orbit will end up voting for president from the International Space Station, if her homecoming is delayed. NASA astronaut Kate Rubins doesn’t know yet whether she’ll return to Earth in late October as planned. The Russians have delayed the next crew launch for technical reasons. It was supposed to take place Friday, but it’s off for at least a month. Rubins and her two crewmates — a Russian and Japanese — can’t come home until the next crew arrives. NASA likes to have an overlap of several days, if not more.

… Rubins told The Associated Press she requested an absentee ballot before she rocketed away in July, just in case. When she’s not in space, home is Houston, Texas.

WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ONE YEAR AGO _ Time flies! One year ago, the (Your Show) was talking about… the college prof who helped a single mom with her child. Amanda Osbon knows firsthand the difficulties a mom can face — which is why the single mom was shocked her professor taught with her 2-year-old son in his hands during a class at DeVry University in Nashville. Amanda felt a little embarrassed to bring her son with her, but the unexpected lesson on kindness and understanding made her feel much better. • IMAGE


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COW DESTROYS CHOPPER AFTER MID-AIR TANGLE _ A farmer trying to round up his livestock in Australia found that you never, ever mess with a cow’s horns — especially when flying a helicopter. The small helicopter was flying near a cattle station when it apparently lost balance and crashed after the cow’s horns got tangled in the chopper’s rails. Neither the cow, nor the pilot-farmer was injured, but the chopper burst into flames after coming down.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN FAKES HER KIDNAPPING TO SEE IF BF CARED ABOUT HER _ We’ve all been involved with someone who’s just not a communicator. But instead of asking her man, “Where is this relationship going?”, a 22-year-old Florida woman decided to test her boyfriend’s devotion by faking her own kidnapping. She filed a false police report and claimed that she was abducted at gunpoint in the parking lot of an apartment complex. Unfortunately for her, surveillance cameras caught her walking out of the apartment complex without incident. Once officers busted her for fictitious kidnapping she admitted that she feared she had some competition from another woman who was interested in her boyfriend, so she made the whole thing up to to see if he “truly cared about her.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE ‘HOLDING ON TO’ POT PLANTS UNTIL OWNER STEPS FORWARD _ A Florida police department said it is “holding on to” 16 potted marijuana plants found on a trail until the owner comes forward. The Gainesville Police Department found the potted pot plants under a large bush near a trail. Police left a note behind at the scene, reading: “We have your weed. Call 911 to and claim it.” They also posted a photo on Facebook.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SICK OF PORK CHOPS _ A domestic fight brought police to a home in Fort Pierce, Florida.  William Welch, whom police described as “intoxicated,” showed officers BBQ sauce stains on his shirt which, he said, were from his wife throwing a pork chop at him. Officers observed his wife, whom police described as “extremely intoxicated,” had a fat lip which, she said, was from her husband punching her in the mouth. Officers chose to arrest the husband for battery. What was the fight about? Welch told cops that she keeps buying pork chops and he is sick of eating pork chops.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SEX OFFENDER REGISTERED AT WALMART _ A 27-year-old registered sex offender in Florida was required by law to register where he lives. But since he’s homeless he decided to give the address of a Walmart where he often hangs out. The local sheriff’s office (Lee County) says there’s nothing illegal about that, although the store could have him removed if it gives him a trespass notice.



SERIES PREMIERE: MACGYVER (8p ET, CBS) — Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class) stars in this reboot as Angus “Mac” MacGyver, and this time Mac has a team, including CSI’s George Eads. Mac, an MIT grad who defused bombs in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, now works for a clandestine U.S. government agency. Sandrine Holt (House of Cards) and Tristin Mays (The Vampire Diaries) also star.

SEASON PREMIERE: LAST MAN STANDING (8p ET, ABC) — In the 6th season premiere, a bear wanders into the store the loading dock door is left open.

SUPERSTORE (8p ET, NBC) — A repeat of the season premiere.

SEASON PREMIERE: HELL’S KITCHEN (8p ET, FOX) — Chef Ramsay welcomes the 18 new hopefuls for the 16th season at a U.S. Army training facility, while actors Nolan Gould (Modern Family) and Erica Ash attend the dinner service.


SEASON PREMIERE: DR. KEN (8:30p ET, ABC) — As season 2 begins, a job opens up at Welltopia that Pat thinks Allison would be perfect for, but Ken isn’t sure he wants to work so closely with his wife.

THE GOOD PLACE (8:30p ET, NBC) — A repeat of the pilot episode

SEASON PREMIERE: HAWAII FIVE-O (9p ET, CBS) — In the season 7 premiere, the team hunts for a murderer that’s targeting serial killers, marking their corpses with an ivory chess piece. CSI: NY alum Claire Forlani joins the cast this season.

SEASON PREMIERE: SHARK TANK (9p ET, ABC) — Pro football player Antonio Brown discusses personalized shoe slides. Plus, an app that can stop cyberbullying messages and a beer dispenser that makes bottled and canned beer taste like draft.

DATELINE (9p ET, NBC) — A new, 2-hour edition

SERIES PREMIERE THE EXORCIST (9p ET, FOX) — This psychological thriller (based on the classic movie of the same name) stars Geena Davis and Alan Ruck (Spin City) as the heads of a troubled family that believe a demonic presence has entered their home. The family is stuck between two very different priests (Alfonso Herrera, Sense8; and Ben Daniels, House of Cards) on how to fight this evil.


SEASON PREMIERE: BLUE BLOODS (10p ET, CBS) — In the season 7 premiere, Robert Lewis obtains new evidence against Danny in the shooting case of Thomas Wilder. Michael Imperioli and Lori Loughlin (Full House) guest star.

20/20 (10p ET, ABC) — New

TRANSPARENT (Anytime, Amazon) — Emmy winner Jeffrey Tambor and company are back for a third season of this dysfunctional-family dramedy.

LONGMIRE (Anytime, Netflix) — This Wyoming-set crime drama is back with new episodes.


Here’s the college football schedule, showing every network and game.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL (8p ET, ABC) — No. 7 Stanford shoots for an L.A. sweep when the Cardinal meet UCLA one week after beating USC.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL (8p ET, FOX) — Mason Rudolph and James Washington lead Oklahoma State (2-1) into a Big 12 matchup against No. 16 Baylor (3-0).

STEVE JOBS (8p ET, HBO) — Michael Fassbender stars as the Apple co-founder in this 2015 biopic. Kate Winslet and Seth Rogen also star

SEASON PREMIERE: 48 HOURS (10p ET, CBS) — The premiere features segments on the dangers of anonymous chat apps.

THIS IS US (10p ET, NBC) — If you missed the premiere of this hot new show, catch it tonight.


Here’s the NFL schedule for week 1. Where you live will determine what game you see

SEASON PREMIERE: 60 MINUTES (7:30p ET, CBS) — (check time for football run over) Scott Pelley interviews King Abdullah II of Jordan amid the current Middle East turmoil, while David Martin reports on the surprising and worrisome U.S.-Russian nuclear stance on the 49th season premiere.


SEASON PREMIERE: THE SIMPSONS (8p ET, FOX) — All your Sunday FOX favorites return tonight, including Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and Last Man on Earth.

SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (8:30p ET, NBC) — The Chicago Bears are in Dallas to take on the Cowboys.

SEASON PREMIERE: NCIS: LOS ANGELES (8:30p ET, CBS) — (check time for football run over) Vanessa Ferlito joins the cast this season and the premiere is 2 hours.

SEASON PREMIERE: SECRETS AND LIES (9p ET, ABC) — Season 2’s 10 episodes will find Detective Andrea Cornell on a brand new case. Almost Human’s Michael Ealy and Fast and the Furious franchise actress Jordana Brewster have joined the cast.

SEASON PREMIERE: QUANTICO (10p ET, ABC) — Season 2 begins


IN THEATERS TODAY _ The Magnificent Seven is expected to take the top spot at the weekend box office, making $30 million to $40 million.

The Magnificent Seven (PG-13) – Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, Vincent D’Onofrio, Peter Sarsgaard
Storks (PG)  – Andy Samberg, Jennifer Aniston, Ty Burrell, Kelsey Grammer, Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele

… Opening next weekend: Deepwater Horizon, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Masterminds.

BIG BANG ACTORS TOP FORBES’ BEST-PAID LIST _ The Big Bang Theory is making its stars rich. The CBS comedy has TV’s four best-paid actors, according to an annual list released Thursday by Forbes. Jim Parsons led with a $25.5 million take between June 2015 and this June, followed by cast-mates Johnny Galecki ($24 million), Simon Helberg ($22.5 million) and Kunal Nayyar ($22 million). In fifth place: Mark Harmon, star of CBS’ drama NCIS, was paid $20 million (before management fees and taxes).

… Forbes’ list of TV actresses, released last week, had Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara on top with $43 million, followed by Big Bang’s Kaley Cuoco with $24.5 million.

DWAYNE JOHNSON SHARES JUMANJI VIDEO _ Dwayne Johnson was back on social media Thursday, posting a Jumanji video that gives us another look at his costume and a glimpse at the film’s outdoor set. In the clip Johnson claims to be in the middle of the jungle, somewhere where no man has gone before. Alone. Fishing with his bare hands. Then his camera “accidentally” pans right and we see some of the Jumanji film crew. • VIDEO

MARGOT ROBBIE WILL HOST SNL SEASON PREMIERE _ Margot Robbie has been invited to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. The Weeknd will be the musical guest for the October 1 episode.

FXX ANNOUNCES 600 EPISODE SIMPSONS MARATHON _ FXX has announced plans for the longest marathon in television history. Beginning Thanksgiving Day, a 600 episode marathon of The Simpsons will run 300 hours — that’s 13 days — and include every episode. The 27-season marathon begins at noon Eastern on Thursday, November 24 and ends on Wednesday, December 6 at midnight.

… The Simpsons marathon will air in chronological order, beginning with the 1989 Simpsons Christmas special.

… FOX will debut the show’s record 28th season this Sunday with the premiere episode featuring Amy Schumer as the featured guest-voice. In the episode, when Springfield is burned to the ground, the Simpsons beg Mr. Burns to fund its rebuilding.

SOURCE: BRAD PITT DID NOT HIT HIS CHILD _ A source close to Brad Pitt says the actor did not strike his child during a heated mid-flight argument with Angelina Jolie last week. Pitt is accused of being “verbally abusive” and getting “physical” with one of his children on the family’s private plane last Wednesday.

… A source close to the actor told People Pitt “was drunk, and there was an argument between him and Angelina.” One of the couple’s older children “then got caught in the middle, literally. He stepped in front of Brad. There was a parent-child argument which was not handled in the right way and escalated more than it should have.” The source says Pitt did not hurt his son.

DISNEY PULLS ‘MOANA’ COSTUME AFTER RACISM CLAIMS _ Disney will no longer sell a boy’s costume for a Polynesian character that some Pacific Islanders have compared to blackface. The getup depicts Maui — a revered figure in Polynesian oral traditions and viewed by some Pacific Islanders as an ancestor — who is a character in the upcoming animated movie Moana. It has a long-sleeve brown shirt and long pants featuring full-body tattoos. It comes with a fake shark-tooth necklace and green-leaf “skirt.” Disney’s online store had offered boy’s pajamas and a men’s t-shirt in a similar design, but those products are no longer available.

… A Native Hawaiian college student named Chelsie Haunani Fairchild said in a video on Facebook: “Polyface is Disney’s new version of blackface. Let’s call it like it is, people.” She said in an interview the costume doesn’t honor or pay homage to a culture or person, but makes fun of it.

THE EQUALIZER 2 TO BEGIN FILMING NEXT YEAR _ Denzel Washington is starring in the first sequel of his career with The Equalizer 2. A script has been written, a director has signed and filming begins next year.

YOU CAN NOW STAY IN SPONGEBOB’S PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA _ Who lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? Maybe you. The new Nickelodeon Hotel and Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic has opened a SpongeBob SquarePants replica suite, a two-bedroom freestanding pineapple structure with its own pool. Most importantly, it really does look like the animated fruit home. The Pineapple “Villa” starts at $3,800 a night for up to four adults and two kids. You get 24-hour room service plus your own private infinity pool. Otherwise, non-pineapple rooms at the resort can be snagged for $375 a person.

THOMAS GIBSON SPEAKS OUT ON CRIMINAL MINDS FIRING _ Criminal Minds fans were shocked when long-time series star Thomas Gibson was fired from the show last month. Now Gibson is breaking his silence on the altercation that led to his termination from the hit CBS series. He said to People, “I feel like it took years to make a good reputation and a minute to damage it.” According to the TV veteran, the incident began when he was filming the second episode of Criminal Minds Season 12, which premieres later this month. Apparently he had a problem with the script and approached writer-producer Virgil Williams for a solution. Gibson says the scene included a line he thought “contradicted an earlier line. He said, ‘Sorry, it’s necessary, and I absolutely have to have it.'” Thomas Gibson then explains how the physical confrontation happened.

… “[Williams] came into that room and started coming towards me. As he brushed past me, my foot came up and tapped him on the leg. If I hadn’t moved, he would have run into me. We had some choice words, for which I apologized the next day, and that was it. It was over. We shot the scene, I went home — and I never got to go back.”

… In a previous People article, an unnamed source on the Criminal Minds set seemed to back up Gibson’s account, saying that the actor kicked Williams in the shin “almost out of instinct.” The source went on to say Williams “seemed all right at the time, but when his team found out, it turned into something bigger.”



• BETWEEN TWO FERNS: Hillary Clinton sits down Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis → Edited for radio. Here’s the full video.

• BRAD AND ANGELINA: Chelsea Handler on her Netflix talk show on Brad and Angelina.

• MYSTERY VOICE: Christian Bale.

• DO YOUR BEST DAD: Here’s Michelle Obama doing her impression of Barack on Colbert. Invite listeners to do their best impressions of their dads.



Ever read a movie review, then go to the movie and think, “That reviewer must have been blind!” Maybe he was. Interview Jay Forry, a real, honest-to-goodness movie reviewer who just happens to be blind. He even has a website, Jay’s a fun interview with a great sense of humor. Ask him how he’s able to review movies, what his least and most favorite movies are, etc. Contact info on his website.


• There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up.

• Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

• Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.

• June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

• Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part.

• Guys who tried to dance with the bride would get punched in the head.

• Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of “Best Man”.

• There would be “Tailgate Receptions”.

• Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.

• Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

• Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party.

• Men wouldn’t ask, “Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?” They’d just grab extras from their local pub, tavern or donut store.

• The bride’s dress would show cleavage and her navel.

• Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of BBQ.


TRIVIA: In a recent beauty salon survey, the largest percentage of women said they talk about what while getting their hair cut? (Family)

TRIVIA: Just 58% of us say we know how to operate one of these. (A microwave)


Line up two listeners. You start listing the cast of movies and the first player to buzz in and correctly identify the most movie titles wins.

• Gary Sinise, Tom Hanks, Robin Wright Penn, Sally Field (Forrest Gump)

• Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (Mad Max: Fury Road)

• Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, Macaulay Culkin (Home Alone)

• Michael Douglas, Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Anthony Mackie (Ant-Man)


Apple-thieving moose vs. lawnmower robot.


source: unknown


This is day 270 of 2016. There are 96 days remaining.


• Mary Beth Hurt is 70

• Olivia Newton-John is 68

• Linda Hamilton (Terminator films) is 60

• Melissa Sue Anderson (Mary Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie) is 54

• Jim Caviezel (Person of Interest, When the Game Stands Tall) is 48

• Music producer Dr. Luke is 43

•Christina Milian is 35

• Serena Williams is 35


• 1914: The Federal Trade Commission was established.

• 1962: The Beverly Hillbillies premiered.

• 1969: The album Abbey Road by the Beatles was released.

• 1990: The Motion Picture Association of America announced it had created a new rating, NC-17, designed to bar moviegoers under age 17 from certain films without the commercial stigma of the old X rating.

• 1991: Four men and four women began a two-year stay inside a sealed-off structure known as Biosphere 2 in Oracle, Arizona.

• 2005: Army Pfc. Lynndie England was convicted by a military jury on six counts stemming from the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal. She was later sentenced to three years in prison.

• 2006: Former Enron chief financial officer Andrew Fastow was sentenced by a federal judge in Houston to six years in prison for his role in the fallen energy company’s bankruptcy.

• 2006: In Tyler, Texas, a 73-year-old used car salesman allegedly ended an argument with a customer by pulling out a machete and whacking the man’s arm. Robert Parker was arrested on charges of aggravated assault after the incident. According to police, Gerald Davis had purchased a car from Time Auto Sales and went back to the dealership to pick up his license plates. Police said Davis and Parker began arguing and eventually Parker produced the machete. Police said they don’t know what the argument was about.

• 2012: An NFL referee lockout ended.


• Banned Books Week

• Health Information and Technology Week

• National Fall Foliage Week

• Dumpling Day

• World Contraception Day

• Family Day

• Batman Day

• Lumberjack Day

• Love Note Day


• October 12: Columbus Day

• October 31: Halloween

• November 6: Daylight Saving Time Ends (fall back one hour)

• November 8: Presidential Election

More holidays