This is day 75 of 2017. There are 290 days remaining.
• Jerry Lewis is 91
• Chuck Woolery (Love Connection) is 76
• Victor Garber (Alias) is 68
• Erik Estrada is 68
• Flavor Flav of Public Enemy is 58
• Jerome Flynn (Game of Thrones) is 54
• Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) is 50
• Alan Tudyk (Firefly) is 46
• Brett Davern (Awkward) is 34
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1802: Congress authorized the establishment of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, New York.
• 1994: Figure skater Tonya Harding pleaded guilty in Portland, Oregon, to conspiracy for covering up the attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan.
• 1995: Mississippi formally ratified the Thirteenth Amendment, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The Thirteenth Amendment was officially ratified in 1865.
• 1995: Astronaut Norm Thagard became the first American to visit the Russian space station Mir.
• 2005: A judge in Redwood City, California, sent Scott Peterson to death row for the slaying of his pregnant wife, Laci.
• 2005: A jury in Los Angeles acquitted actor Robert Blake of murder in the shooting death of his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley.
• 2006: In Slough, England, a gang of crooks heard through the crook grapevine about a van that would be passing through town loaded with money. Lots of money. Millions, in fact. They snatched the van as its driver was making a delivery. And the story they had heard was true, the van was full of money. Unfortunately, it was Monopoly money that was to be used in a promotion of a new version of the game.
• 2015: A poll revealed 40% of Americans couldn’t spell Budweiser correctly. The same poll also revealed 90% of Americans couldn’t spell Jägermeister.
• Lips Appreciation Day
• No Selfies Day
• Absolutely Incredible Kid Day
• Panda Day
• March 17: St Patrick’s Day
• April 1: Final Four
• April 2: Academy of Country Music Awards
• April 2: Major League Baseball season begins
• April 3: College Basketball Championship Game
• April 14: Good Friday
• April 16: Easter
8: Dollars a day the average woman spends on her face, according to a new study. The $5 worth of skincare products and $3 worth of make-up works out to just over $2,900 a year.
According to WalletHub, the happiest cities in America are predominately in California. [I’m guessing somewhere around wine country.]
According to WalletHub, the happiest cities in America are predominately in California. [I would have thought that they would be Hawaii and Alaska since they’re even farther away from D.C.]
A group of scientists have calculated that the world’s spiders eat more meat than the world’s humans. [And yet they stay so slim.]
Mitch Seavey, at 57, became the oldest person to win the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race. He also completed the race in record time. [That’s because when you’re 57 you’re always in a hurry to find a restroom.]
A surprising new study finds that having children will result in you living longer. [Or maybe it will just seem that way.]
The winner of last month’s $435 million Indiana Powerball lottery has chosen to remain anonymous. [Until her relatives all pass away.]
A new study looks at the small group of people in our society who are definitely obese but still manage to stay healthy. [And why they never lose their phones and can always find a convenient parking space.]
Remember the pop group Hanson? They just announced that this year they will go on a huge world tour. [It’s everyone’s fault. We were so distracted by politics and global warming that we somehow allowed this to happen.]
One of the International Space Station astronauts received a saxophone. [The other astronauts received headphones.]
McDonald’s is experimenting with ordering by app. [Simply swipe to hook up with a smoking hot sandwich that can’t wait to satisfy you.]
ANOTHER FIVE-SECOND RULE STUDY _ You’ve heard of the five-second rule. The joke is, if you drop food on the ground you have five seconds to pick it up before it becomes germy. Now a germ expert at Aston Univeristy in Birmingham, England, says the five-second rule is pretty much right. Professor Anthony Hilton claims there is little to be concerned about if the food is only on the ground or floor momentarily. However, he adds: “Eating food that has spent a few moments on the floor can never be entirely risk-free.”
… Wait, we were told in 2010 there is no five-second rule! That year, scientists at Clemson found that bacteria was transferred from tabletops and floors to the food within five seconds.
… And a 2012 a study by San Diego State University researchers also disproved the five-second rule. It determined bacteria can attach itself to food in less than five seconds.
EMPLOYEE JUMPS OUT DRIVE-THRU TO SAVE OFF-DUTY POLICE OFFICER _ Some heroes wear capes, some wear a McDonald’s uniform. McDonald’s employee Pedro Viloria jumped through the restaurant’s drive-thru window to save an off-duty Miami-Dade police officer who had fallen ill behind the wheel of her vehicle with her two children in the backseat. Viloria was serving breakfast to the mom and police officer, but when her car never stopped at the window, he realized something was very wrong. When it became clear the woman’s foot was off the break, Viloria knew he had to move quickly, and made the decision to jump out the window and rush to the car.
… Coincidentally, a firefighter showed up to the McDonald’s around the same time, and was able to quickly respond to the scene. An off-duty paramedic in the scene’s vicinity also rushed to help — and within minutes, fire rescue was at the scene.
OBAMA’S BRACKET _ Former president Barack Obama is keeping his March Madness tradition alive by dropping his bracket for the upcoming NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments. The bracket was released Wednesday afternoon
… For the men’s tournament, Obama is picking two No. 2 seeds (Duke and Arizona) and two No. 1 seeds (North Carolina and Kansas), with UNC topping Duke in the final. For the women, he’s riding top seed UConn all the way.
TWITTER HOPES YOU WANT TO WATCH LIVE LACROSSE _ Twitter has landed another sports streaming deal. Only it’s probably not what you were expecting. The social network has scored the rights to stream National Lacrosse League games for the 2017 and 2018 seasons in the US and Canada.
… The NLL doesn’t have a national TV broadcast deal so if you’re a fan of the sport there’s a real chance this is your only way to watch top-tier lacrosse without visiting an arena or subscribing to the league’s internet-only service.
STORE’S 70-POUND, $700 POPCORN BALL RETURNED AFTER THEFT _ On Saturday a 70-pound popcorn ball valued at $700 was stolen from a display spot outside a popcorn shop in Ohio. The story has a happy ending — someone anonymously returned the ball to the store late Tuesday or early Wednesday. The stolen popcorn ball was returned intact.
McDONALD’S MAKES FAST FOOD FASTER WITH MOBILE ORDERING _ On Wednesday McDonald’s began testing a mobile ordering and payment app at 29 California restaurants and will expand the test to an additional 51 locations in Spokane, Washington, on March 20. The process is pretty straightforward: You place an order through the app (for iOS right now); when you arrive at McDonald’s you check in and pay using the app; then get your food. The app tracks a customer’s distance from the restaurant to make sure the food is freshly prepared.
… Dominos, Chipotle and Starbucks have already brought mobile ordering to most of its restaurants.
THE EASIEST WAY TO STOP A NOSEBLEED _ Ever suffered from an epistaxis? You probably have — that’s the medical name for a nosebleed. And while nosebleeds are usually more annoying than painful, you want to stop them as soon as possible so you don’t, you know, bleed all over the place. Here’s what a doctor from Harvard Medical School suggests.
• Start by tilting your head forward so you stop blood from flowing down your throat.
• Place your thumb and index finger on either side of the bridge of your nose.
• Slide them down to the “drop off” where the bone gives way to cartilage, and pinch.
• Hold with a little pressure until the bleeding stops. You may have to adjust where your fingers are until you find it.
… That should do it. If not, you may have to go with a backup plan that usually works: stuffing your nose with gauze or tissue. You’ll look a bit silly, but it will shut off the blood faucet if the pinch trick doesn’t work. • LINK
4-IN-5 OKLAHOMA CITY STUDENTS CAN’T READ CLOCK _ This study was done in Oklahoma but I wonder how many kids across the country are lacking this skill. A new study shows that only 1-in-5 Oklahoma City kids can read a watch. Everyone’s used to seeing digital watches and clocks so it’s not a shock that many kids can’t read analog. A Boys & Girls Club in Oklahoma City is teaching kids in the after-school program how to read analog clocks.
COUPLE CREATE WEARABLE SAFETY ALARM FOR FEMALE JOGGERS _ An Irish couple have created a wearable personal safety device with audible alarm aimed at the female runner. Ellen Caren and her husband David first came up with the idea for runangel after David returned home from a jog and shared an experience “that played on his mind”. He was out running and a female runner passed him. He thought nothing of it until a man knocked into him then turned tail and ran in the opposite direction. David realized that the man — who wasn’t wearing any jogging gear — was actually in pursuit of the woman until he bumped into him.
… Ellen and David have spent three years developing runangel. The slim, black watch-like product pairs with an app. Those on the ‘guardian network’ of the owner of the device do not need to have the app themselves; they simply need to accept and confirm an invite sent to them to be added as a guardian. If a runner gets into trouble the press the watch-like device’s single button and a 120dB sound is blasted. That’s as loud as standing in front of speakers at a rock concert. At the same time, it will send text and email notifications with a location, time and date stamp to everyone in the guardian network.
SNOW FROM SPEEDING TRAIN WIPES OUT AT RAIL STATION _ Everyone’s okay, but at an Amtrak stop in the northeast a train came barreling into the station so fast that the snow on the tracks was plowed up and into people waiting on a platform. Video taken by a passenger named Nick Colvin was shared online. He even delivers it in slow-motion so we can really appreciate the winter blast some people took. • VIDEO
WOMAN REUNITED WITH PET DOG WHO DISAPPEARED 6 MONTHS AGO _ A New Jersey woman has been reunited with her dog that skipped out of her apartment six months ago. Tanya Flowers spent days handing out hundreds of fliers and contacting animal shelters after her year-old Maltese named Paris vanished last September. About a week ago New York City shelter called to tell her that Paris had been found.
… Paris supposedly was found walking the streets four months ago. A man who spotted her took her in, but then decided he could no longer care for her and took her to his mother’s home in Staten Island. The mother took the dog to a veterinarian, who discovered a microchip that linked Paris to Flowers.
NEW MONOPOLY GAME PIECES WILL BE ANNOUNCED SUNDAY _ Monopoly’s thimble is going away and this Sunday (March 19) we’ll learn what’s replacing it. The move is part of a campaign to select the next generation of game pieces. Hashtags, emojis and even a rubber duck may replace dogs, cats and hats in an upcoming version. Hasbro Inc. held a worldwide contest to let people choose the eight tokens to be included in the next generation of the game. The new tokens will be included in games hitting shelves this August.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LAWSUIT ALLEGING WORKER WAS FIRED FOR PASSING GAS TOSSED _ A federal judge has dismissed a discrimination lawsuit that said a New Jersey company fired a worker for passing too much gas. Louann Clem said her husband struggled with extreme gas and uncomfortable diarrhea due to gastric bypass surgery. Her suit claimed the president of Case Pork Roll complained about the side effects and told her husband to work from home due to the smell. Clem’s initial claim was dismissed last summer. Her amended lawsuit said managers made “insulting and humiliating” comments that caused her mental and physical anguish. The court eventually dismissed that claim, saying she failed to prove the managers created an abusive work environment.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WILD GRANDMA DID SPRING BREAK IN CABO _ Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, is known for drawing crowds of hard-partying college kids during spring break. But this year, in a sea of bikini-clad revelers, it was a grandmother named Doreen Grett who stole the show. A photo posted by Arizona college student Payton Grett has thousands of likes and retweets on Twitter. It shows grandma Doreen standing with a group of women and downing a shot of what we can only assume is tequila.
… Doreen casually posted the photo to Facebook with the caption: “Shots with the girls.” • IMAGE
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COOLER FULL OF WEED DONATED TO GOODWILL _ Somebody donated a lot more than they intended to at a Goodwill in Washington state last week. Goodwill employees (in Monroe) got a surprise when they opened a donated cooler and found marijuana. Lots of marijuana. The cooler contained 3.75 pounds of pot, with an estimated street value of $24,000. Goodwill is examining its surveillance video to see if it can find an image of the person who may have dropped off the cooler. • IMAGE
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: NEIGHBOR PUNCHES, STABS SNOW-BLOWING MAN _ A man was clearing his Queens, New York driveway of snow Tuesday afternoon when his neighbor approached him from behind and stabbed and punched him. Police are looking for the neighbor.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SNAKE CRAWLS OUT OF WOMAN’S CAR VENT _ Imagine: You’re driving your car when suddenly a snake slithers out of an air vent next to the steering wheel. How quickly could you pull over and flee? This happened in Florida. Monica Dorsett was driving on a highway when the animal slithered out from her car vent. She managed to hold it together until she could pull off at an exit and get out of the vehicle. • IMAGE
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SOMEONE IS HIDING A.1. SAUCE BOTTLES INSIDE A LIBRARY _ Dozens of A.1. steak sauce bottles have mysteriously been popping up inside Ohio’s Avon Lake Public Library. Since a a security guard spotted the first bottle tucked in a pile of newspapers on January 11, a total of 30 bottles have been found. They are stripped of their labels and cleaned out but.
… The bottles were found in the adult fiction or non-fiction sections — never in the children’s book sections.
NCAA TOURNAMENT (12p ET, CBS, TNT, TruTV, TBS) — The Round of 64 begins, with games all day, continuing on CBS into primetime as well. Here’s the link to the entire viewing schedule.
GREY’S ANATOMY (8p ET, ABC) — New. April and Jackson travel to Montana to perform a complicated surgery on a young patient. Zoe Hall (LaLa Land) and Wallace Langham (CSI) guest star.
SUPERSTORE (8p ET, NBC) — New. Jonah goes with Amy to help her parents move out of her childhood home. Tony Plana (Ugly Betty) guest stars and series star America Ferrera directs.
MASTERCHEF JUNIOR (8p ET, FOX) — New. The Top 14 compete in a mystery box challenge with special guest judge former First Lady Michelle Obama. Julie Bowen (Modern Family) is the guest judge in the 2nd challenge, where the kids make a dish in honor of their moms.
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (8p ET, CW) — Repeat
TRIAL & ERROR (8:30p ET, NBC) — This is a repeat of the pilot episode.
SCANDAL (9p ET, ABC) — New. Flashbacks reveal the events of the night Francisco Vargas was assassinated.
CHICAGO MED (9p ET, NBC) — New. Doctors and nurses deal with a staff member’s suicide.
KICKING & SCREAMING (9p ET, FOX) — New. Kirsten struggles with a serious allergic reaction, as she and her partner worry their team may be in jeopardy.
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (9p ET, CW) — Repeat
THE BLACKLIST: REDEMPTION (10p ET, NBC) — New. Terrorists escape from a secret black site prison in Manhattan, so the team must lock down the city.
THE CATCH (10p ET, ABC) — New. The team takes on a sharpshooting assassin that is hunting their new client.
SNATCH (Crackle) — This new streaming series is based on the Guy Ritchie 2000 film. Harry Potter star Rupert Grint stars in and executive produces the series. Grint plays the dynamic, chaotic and posh con man, Charlie Cavendish. Ed Westwick (Gossip Girl) stars as nightclub owner Sonny Castillo. Inspired by a real life heist in London, Snatch centers on a group of young hustlers who stumble onto a truckload of stolen gold and are thrust into the high-stakes world of organized crime.
EMMA WATSON AND AMANDA SEYFRIED’S PERSONAL PHOTOS STOLEN _ Dozens of photos of Emma Watson taken from a private session with a stylist were stolen and posted online. None of the photos were nude and Watson is taking legal action over the hack.
… The Beauty and the Beast actress was not the only victim. Amanda Seyfried was reportedly hacked as well, only her stolen photos included nude shots and “intimate moments” with a former partner.
AMY SCHUMER HAS A MESSAGE FOR THE ALT-RIGHT TROLLS _ Amy Schumer has had more than her fill of trolls. The comedian, whose latest special debuted on Netflix March 7, was apparently targeted for negative reviews by alt-right trolls on the internet. Schumer responded to the media reaction via Instagram on Wednesday: “I am so proud of my special and grateful to all the people spreading love on line about it. I am the first female comic who is selling out arenas all over the world and so grateful for that. I am embarrassed for the “journalists” who report on trolls activities as if it’s news. It’s indicative of administration right now. Anyone who reported that “viewers aren’t happy” with my special, it would have been cool if you did a moment of research before posting. The alt right organized trolls attack everything I do. … They organize to get my ratings down. Meeting in sub Reddit rooms. They tried on my book and movies and tv show and I want to thank them. … I am only alarmed by the people printing their organized trolling as “news” — this is what the current administration wants…” • INSTAGRAM
CBS RENEWS THE GOOD FIGHT _ CBS has renewed The Good Fight for a second season, which will come in early 2018. The Good Fight lives exclusively on its Netflix-like streaming service, CBS All Access. Subscribers to the streaming service pay $5.99 a month, or $9.99 for the ad-free version, to be able to watch all CBS content on whatever device they want, on-demand.
NATIONAL ENQUIRER’S OWNER BUYS CELEBRITY MAG US WEEKLY _ The publisher of Rolling Stone magazine is selling celebrity magazine Us Weekly to the owner of the National Enquirer tabloid. Enquirer parent company American Media Inc. also owns Star, OK! and Men’s Fitness.
AZIZ ANSARI SAYS ‘MASTER OF NONE’ WILL RETURN MAY 12 _ Comedian and actor Aziz Ansari has announced his sitcom Master of None will return to Netflix with fresh episodes this spring. He tweeted Wednesday: “Master of None Season 2 premieres May 12 on Netflix.” The show follows Ansari’s character Dev Shah, a struggling, television-commercial actor living in New York City.
DEMI LOVATO MARKS HER 5-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEING SOBER _ Demi Lovato is celebrating 5 years of being sober. The singer shared her big milestone on Instagram Wednesday. The 24-year-old wrote: “So many times I wanted to relapse but sat on my hands and begged God to relieve the obsession. I’m so proud of myself but I couldn’t have done it without my higher power (God), my family, friends, and everyone else who supported me. Feeling humbled and joyful today…” • LINK
JOHN LARROQUETTE RETURNS TO COMEDY ROOTS _ John Larroquette, who people of a certain age will remember as the morally compromised, perpetually sex-hungry lawyer Dan Fielding on NBC’s ’80s comedy Night Court, is coming back for the CBS pilot Me, Myself and I. He’ll have a starring role opposite SNL cast member Bobby Moynihan — both of them playing versions of Alex Riley in the show that looks at one man’s life over a 50-year span.
THIRD ANNUAL DRONE FILM FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND _ This weekend marks the third annual New York City Drone Film Festival — the world’s first event exclusively dedicated to celebrating the art of drone cinematography. The festival offers an international platform for filmmakers from every corner of the globe to exhibit their work in front of industry professionals and the drone community.
TOP TV SHOWS _ Delayed because of power outage. Nielsen released a statement: “A power outage at our Oldsmar Data Center impacted the availability of some Nielsen applications and the planned delivery of some Nielsen data…”
Find these audio files on the Pro Audio page.
• BED: CBS college basketball theme.
• DROP: You just crossed the line into completely useless.
• ST. PATRICK’S DAY: A package of random St. Patrick’s Day drops.
• ST. PATRICK’S DAY: Irish Dance instrumental.
• KIDS: Kids say what they would make free or change if they were president.
• PHONER: Strange funeral stories. → Two real callers
HOW TO WRAP UP A BORING CONVERSATION
Tips from Forbes.com
Pull In A Plus-One — And Then Excuse Yourself. Do you see someone you know coming your way? Flag him down. You don’t want to make it look like you’re trying to hot potato a boring person over to an unsuspecting target so spend a moment or two on the greeting and playing catch up with the new participant, and then graciously introduce him to the third party. Or, better yet, bring the new person up-to-date on what you’ve been talking about, so it’s not entirely up to him to find a fresh topic to chat about. Assuming this tactic works, and the other two begin gabbing, you can then politely excuse yourself.
Offer To Buy A Drink. Few people are going to turn down an offer of a free cocktail, coffee or soda. So if the going gets rough, mention that you were just about to grab a beverage and ask if she would like one. Now, this doesn’t officially get you “out” of the conversation — you need to return with the promised goods — but it will buy you some time, during which another person may join the boring party and get you off the hook.
Blame The Kids Or The Dog Or The Spouse. As annoying as being pulled into these silly crises is in real life, they’re the perfect conversation ender. No one is ever going to be irritated or feel slighted if you need to step aside to talk your kids through how to get cat barf off the rug, or help your husband find his car keys. You’ll likely be unable to telepathically will your family to disrupt your conversation, but nothing says you can’t pretend take a semi-urgent call or act as if your phone keeps vibrating in your pocket.
Politely Exit, Without Explanation. We overlook the obvious sometimes, because we get all tied up over the story we need to make up to get off the hook. If the conversation’s truly going nowhere, there’s really no shame in simply saying, “You’ll have to excuse me. It was so nice to meet you,” and then exiting stage left.
TRIVIA: In 1898 every one of these were male; today just 3% are. (Cheerleaders)
• The the three colors of the flag of the Republic of Ireland are green, white and… what? (Orange)
• Dublin is the largest city on the island of Ireland. What is the second-largest city? (Belfast)
• Hurling is popular in Ireland. What is it? (A sport)
• This Irish author wrote “Ulysses” and “Finnegan’s Wake.” (James Joyce)
• According to the U.S. Census Bureau, what state has the highest percentage of residents claiming Irish ancestry? (Massachusetts — about 24%)
• Legend has it that by kissing the “stone of eloquence” at Ireland’s Blarney Castle you’ll receive the gifts of oral persuasion and what? (Flattery)
This is day 76 of 2017. There are 289 days remaining.
• Patrick Duffy is 68
• Kurt Russell is 66
• Gary Sinise is 62
• Vicki Lewis (NewsRadio) is 57
• Rob Lowe is 53
• Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins is 50
• Brittany Daniel (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) is 41
• John Boyega (Star Wars: The Force Awakens) is 25
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1756: St. Patrick’s Day was celebrated in New York City for the first time, at the Crown and Thistle Tavern.
• 1845: The rubber band was patented.
• 1931: Nevada legalized gambling.
• 1991: In its first dress code change since the 1960s, Brigham Young University announced that students could wear knee-length shorts and go sockless.
• 1999: At a restaurant in Schererville, Indiana, an intoxicated man, angered by a slow-flushing toilet, pulled out a pistol and shot it several times.
• 2006: An employee at a funeral parlor in Kazakhstan was rescued after burglars knocked him out and nailed him inside a wooden coffin while they robbed the place.
• 2008: New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned after a scandal involving a high-end prostitute. David Paterson became acting New York State governor.
• 2014: L’Wren Scott, the 49-year-old model, designer and longtime girlfriend of Mick Jagger, was found dead in her apartment.
• St. Patrick’s Day
• Freedom of Information Day
• National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence
• Irish Coffee Day
• World Sleep Day
• March 17: St Patrick’s Day
• April 1: Final Four
• April 2: Academy of Country Music Awards
• April 2: Major League Baseball season begins
• April 3: College Basketball Championship Game
• April 14: Good Friday
• April 16: Easter
SATURDAY, MARCH 18
• Country singer Charley Pride is 83. Mike Rowe is 55. Vanessa Williams is 54. Olympic Speed Skater Bonnie Blair is 53. Queen Latifah is 47. Dane Cook is 45. Philip Sweet of Little Big Town is 43. Adam Levine of Maroon 5 is 38.
• Awkward Moments Day. Corn Dog Day. Forgive Mom and Dad Day. Quilting Day.
SUNDAY, MARCH 19
• Ursula Andress is 81. Ruth Pointer of the Pointer Sisters is 71. Glenn Close is 70. Bruce Willis is 62.
• Nurses Day. Poultry Day. International Read to Me Day. World Monopoly Day.