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This is day 96 of 2017. There are 269 days remaining.


• Billy Dee Williams (Return of the Jedi) is 80

• John Ratzenberger (Cheers) is 70

• Marilu Henner (Taxi, Evening Shade) is 65

• Paul Rudd is 48

• Zach Braff (Scrubs, Garden State) is 42

• Joel Garland (Orange Is The New Black) is 42

• Candace Cameron Bure (Full House/Fuller House) is 41


• 1896: The first modern Olympic Games opened in Athens, Greece.

• 1909: Explorers Robert E. Peary and Matthew A. Henson became the first men to reach the North Pole.

• 1930: Hostess Twinkies were invented.

• 1947: The first Tony Awards were presented for theatrical achievements.

• 1983: Interior Secretary James Watt banned the Beach Boys from the 4th of July celebration on the Washington Mall, saying rock ‘n’ roll bands attract the “wrong element.”

• 2004: The University of Connecticut became the first school to win the NCAA Division I men’s and women’s basketball titles in the same season as the women’s team beat Tennessee 70-61 for their third consecutive championship.

• 2007: A 105-year-old Romanian made his first ever trip to the doctor after eating a jar of pickles past their sell-by-date. The man took himself to the hospital and told doctors he’d had pains for two days and was worried it might be something serious. Doctors who performed a full check-up on him said he was very healthy for his age, and that he was probably suffering from indigestion. When they tried to access his records they found he had never been to a doctor in his life.


• Drowsy Driver Awareness Day

• Game Show Appreciation Day

• Fun at Work Day

• Plan Your Epitaph Day

New Beer’s Eve

• Army Day

• Caramel Popcorn Day

• Twinkie Day


• April 6-9: The Masters golf tournament

• April 14: Good Friday

• April 16: Easter

• April 22: Earth Day

• May 5: Cinco de Mayo

• May 14: Mother’s Day

• May 29: Memorial Day

More holidays


85 million: Tons of paper used each year in the U.S.


Brooklyn is getting an avocado bar. [“No thanks, I’m driving.”]

Panera is being purchased by the same people who own Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. [Panera will still offer the same healthy soups and sandwiches but now with a delicious layer of icing.]

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is proposing that the NFL allow players to smoke marijuana. [Except in the huddle.]

Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch is being accused of plagiarism. [Apparently, when ruling on court cases he stole all of his best lines from Judge Judy.]

The latest Shia LaBeouf movie debuted in Britain and sold only one ticket the entire weekend. [“Here you go, and enjoy the show, Mr. LaBeouf.”]

A spokesman for ISIS called Donald Trump an idiot. [But he said that his wife loves Ivanka’s fashion line.]

A 17-year-old girl in New Jersey has become one of the few students to ever be accepted by all eight Ivy League schools. [It reminds me of the time when I was being fought over by all the community colleges.]

North Korea test fired yet another ballistic missile to send a message to the U.S. and China. [The North Koreans brag that they now have the technology to launch a missile that can strike the 18th green of Mar-a-Lago.]

NASA announced that the Cassini spacecraft, which has been orbiting Saturn since 2004, is running out of fuel and later this year will make a fatal plunge into the Saturn’s atmosphere. [But at least it will die doing what it was programmed to love.]

President Trump said that after the recent horrific chemical attack on civilians he’s changing his attitude about Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad. [He immediately canceled their golf date.]

It’s been revealed that there are 14 more Transformers-related movies lined up. [Maybe in at least one of them there will be a big explosion.]


VIDEO GAMING BECOMES A SCHOLARSHIP SPORT AT UNIVERSITY OF UTAH _ The University of Utah will become the first big-time sports school to offer scholarships for esports. Utah’s first varsity esports team will play Riot Games’ popular League of Legends and compete in Riot’s collegiate league. More teams in other games will be announced this year. Utah is the first school in the “Power Five” — the five richest athletic conferences in college sports — to offer scholarships for video gaming.

NJ TEEN GETS ACCEPTED BY ALL 8 IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLSAUDIO 🎧  A New Jersey teenager has to make a decision soon most high school seniors can only dream of — deciding on which Ivy League school to attend in the fall. The problem — and it’s a good problem — is that she was accepted into all eight of them — plus Stanford (an Ivy Plus school). Ifeoma White-Thorpe said she was shaking when she got the eighth acceptance letter. She wants to study biology and pursue a career in global health.

… So where will she go? Her parents said the choice is totally up to her; White-Thorpe said she just doesn’t know yet.

STUDENT NEWSPAPER’S FACT CHECK RESULTS IN NEW PRINCIPAL’S RESIGNATION _ In Kansas, a student newspaper is being praised for its hard work in reporting that its high school’s newly hired principal had overstated her credentials. The principal, Amy Robertson, has resigned after the paper found she claimed advanced degrees from Corllins University — which has an outdated website and Facebook page. Robertson was to begin her job on July 1. Pittsburg High School’s newspaper staff started by visit the Corllins website — then kept digging.

DID THIS GUY SUCCEED IN BUILDING A TIME MACHINE? _ Fifteen years ago this month Ronald Mallett, a physics professor at the University of Connecticut, said he was building an actual working time machine that would be able to transport objects into the past or the future. He claimed the project was serious. Did he succeed? Well, if he traveled into the future and hasn’t come back the machine is gone, right? And if he went back in time he’s probably done some things that altered the time in which we currently live.

FB icon You discover a time machine — where are you going?

KID + PHOTOSHOP = FUN _ This guy’s been photoshopping his kid into what he calls “marginally dangerous situations”. Nothing unbelievable, but enough to make people think, “Wait… did he really?” • IMAGES

WOMAN WITH WEBBED TOES CLAIMS TO BE MERMAID _ This week police in Fresno, California, shared information on an unknown woman who’s claiming to be a mermaid. She goes by the name Joanna. Police say when they found her, her hair was wet, she was “mostly naked” and had been in the water. Investigators also noted that she had “webbed toes on both feet.” They’re currently looking for her family.

WALL WON’T SPAN THE ENTIRE U.S.-MEXICO BORDER _ Donald Trump’s central campaign promise — a “big beautiful wall” along the border with Mexico — will not actually stretch across the entire border. Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly told a Senate committee Wednesday: “It’s unlikely that we will build a wall or physical barrier from sea to shining sea.” Throughout the campaign, Trump had insisted that the border wall would be a physical structure, paid for by Mexico. His administration plans to request money for the wall from Congress and Trump still says he will find a way to force Mexico to reimburse the U.S. for the cost.

YO-YO DIETING ISN’T GOOD FOR YOU _ For overweight people with heart disease, trying and failing to lose weight may be more dangerous than not losing weight at all. A new study has concluded that patients whose weight fluctuates the most die twice as quickly or have twice the risk of heart attack or stroke compared to people who maintain a stable body weight. And their risk of developing diabetes grows by 78 percent.

DOG SAVES WEDDING GUESTS FROM BOMBER IN NIGERIA _ A dog is being credited for saving lives by intervening to stop a suicide bomber who was attempted to enter a wedding party in Nigeria. The dog grappled with the teen girl bomber until the explosives went off, killing them both. Most villagers were at the wedding when the dog pounced on the would-be suicide bomber who was reportedly hovering on the outskirts of the ceremony on Sunday morning.

AMERICAN AIRLINES APOLOGIZES FOR PHOTO OF ‘PILOTS’ DRINKING _ American Airlines is apologizing to its employees for running a photo in its in-flight magazine of two guys drinking and serving booze while dressed as pilots. The March issue of American Way magazine featured a profile of an Australian mobile cocktail business. American Airlines employees weren’t put off by the mobile cart with booze shown in the ad — it was the images accompanying the piece. In one photo, two people were depicted preparing drinks while wearing pilot’s attire. American’s pilot’s union took offense to the images, with the group’s president saying the images reflected “extremely poor judgment.” The airline issued a statement saying that the photo was “appalling and disrespectful to the aviation profession.”

UFO SIGHTINGS ARE ON THE RISE _ If the New York Times’ motto is “All the news that’s fit to print,” the National Enquirer’s is “All the news inside is made up.” So don’t be shocked when you hear that since the beginning of the year, UFO sightings are up — way up. And right now the U.S. has 300 times the number of UFO reports than the global median.

‘PINK STAR’ DIAMOND SELLS FOR $71 MILLION, SMASHING AUCTION RECORD _ A huge, internally flawless, 59.60-carat diamond called the “Pink Star” went for a whopping $71.2 million at auction in Hong Kong — the highest price ever for a jewel. The oval gem was purchased by Hong Kong-based jewelry company Chow Tai Fook. The previous record for most expensive diamond sold at auction was $57.5 million for the 14.62-carat “Oppenheimer Blue” sold last year.

… The Pink Star was mined in an unspecified location in Africa in 1999. Originally 132.5 carats as a rough diamond, auction house Sotheby’s says it was “meticulously cut and polished over a period of two years.”

WATCH AS NASA LAYS JOHN GLENN TO REST TODAY _ Astronaut and four-term US senator John Glenn will be buried at Arlington Cemetery this morning (Thursday, 9AM ET). The ceremony will air live on NASA TV to honor the first American to orbit the earth.

… John Glenn was the final surviving member of the original seven Mercury astronauts; he achieved his historic three-orbit flight in February, 1962 on the Friendship 7. He retired from NASA in 1964 and began his senatorial career ten years later. During that time, he represented Ohio by pushing for more federal funding for space, science and education until his final term ended in 1998. He then returned to space and Earth orbit soon after at the age of 77. Glenn passed away on December 8 of last year at the age of 95.

WISE FOODS GETS SUED FOR LEAVING POTATO CHIP BAGS MOSTLY EMPTY _ Two customers are suing the makers of Wise potato chips for allegedly filling the bags less than halfway. Wise Foods, based in Berwick, Pennsylvania, hasn’t publicly responded. The two customers (Sameline Alce and Desiré Nugent) filed a lawsuit against Wise Foods for systematically leaving potato chip bags 58% to 75% empty. The two said they felt deceived into overpaying for the snack.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PUBLIC ASKED TO ‘ROMAINE CALM’ AFTER $45K LETTUCE HEIST _ Police in Hamilton, Ontario, are using a few puns in an effort to bring attention to a large lettuce theft. After a truck with $45,000 worth of lettuce was stolen, police shared details of the crime on social media and asked the public to “romaine calm”.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN SEEKING ‘BEDMATE’ RENTS OUT HALF HER MATTRESS _ A woman in China advertised for a roommate and found one. The female roommate will pay $94 a month, which includes half the apartment’s twin bed. The woman described the decision to share the twin bed as a simple one: “I wanted to save money…”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SUSPECT HAD ONE ROLLER SKATE _ Police in Norway caught an assault suspect trying to escape. The suspect was naked. And trying to flee on single roller skate.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DRUNK NEEDED A PUSH _ A California Highway Patrol officer found a car on a bridge that had run out of gas. The officer used his cruiser to give the driver and his car a push to get off the bridge, and followed as the car rolled through a stop sign, crashed through a fence and hit the stairway of an apartment building. The driver was arrested on drunk driving charges.


THE BIG BANG THEORY (8p ET, CBS) — New. Sheldon pushes himself too far when he collaborates on projects with Leonard and Wolowitz, and Amy, on the same day.

GREY’S ANATOMY (8p ET, ABC) — New. Stephanie makes the mistake of treating one of Grey Sloan’s own.

SUPERSTORE (8p ET, NBC) — New. Glenn invites all of his kids to the store, causing disarray.

MASTERCHEF JUNIOR (8p ET, FOX) — New. The Top 12 take their talents to the great outdoors, where they cook for America’s Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.

SUPERNATURAL (8p ET, CW) — New. Sam and Dean get a lead on the whereabouts of Kelly Kline

THE GREAT INDOORS (8:30p ET, CBS) — New. After a night on the town with Jack and Roland, Brook’s fiance Paul gets tipsy and goes missing.

POWERLESS (8:30p ET, NBC) — New. As the team is leaving for a company retreat, supervillain Dr. Psycho releases a toxic gas in Charm City.

SCANDAL (9p ET, ABC) — New. Olivia’s investigation into the conspiracy puts one of their own at risk.

MOM (9p ET, CBS) — New. After the death of Bonnie’s mother, Christy and Bonnie learn she kept a very big secret.

CHICAGO MED (9p ET, NBC) — New. A hacker shuts down the hospital computer system. Greg Alan Williams (Hidden Figures) guest stars.

KICKING & SCREAMING (9p ET, FOX) — New. The teams realize they are only one elimination challenge away from the making it to the Top Five.

RIVERDALE (9p ET, CW) — New. Archie gets an offer from the Blossoms that could help his future.

LIFE IN PIECES (9:30p ET, CBS) — New. Colleen introduces Matt to her eccentric father.

THE BLACKLIST: REDEMPTION (10p ET, NBC) — New. Tom races to learn the truth about Whitehall.

THE CATCH (10p ET, ABC) — New. The team digs into Margot’s past to find out who is set on destroying the Kensington Firm.


SEASON FINALE: COLONY (10p ET, USA) — Following a revelation about the fate of the colony, the Bowman family must make an impossible choice. Colony has not yet been renewed for a 3rd season.

SEASON PREMIERE: DARK NET (10p ET, Showtime) — In season 2, this documentary series will follow the perilous consequences that result when the virtual world invades every aspect of our lives.


PEPSI PULLS CONTROVERSIAL KENDALL JENNER AD _ Pepsi on Wednesday pulled an ad after it was widely mocked and criticized for appearing to trivialize protests for social justice causes. The company said in a statement it was “trying to project a global message of unity, peace and understanding. Clearly we missed the mark, and we apologize.” The ad shows Kendall Jenner, a member of that celebrinot family The Kardashians, stepping away from a modeling shoot to join a crowd of smiling, young protesters. The protesters cheer after Jenner hands a can of Pepsi to a police officer, who takes a sip.

PEPSI GETS A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE WITH PARODY _ A parody targeted at Pepsi for its now-pulled Kendall Jenner commercial is just what we need to wash down what the sugar-drink maker gave us earlier this week. • VIDEO

CHRISTIAN BALE, STEVE CARELL, AMY ADAMS IN DICK CHENEY BIOPIC _ Christian Bale, Steve Carell and Amy Adams are in talks to star in an untitled Dick Cheney biopic. Sources say Bale is on board to play the former vice president, Carell would portray Donald Rumsfeld, and Adams would play Lynne Cheney. Sounds like a pretty boring movie, but it’s from the guy who delivered the critically-acclaimed The Big Short, about the economic crisis of 2008.

… Cheney served in the administrations of Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and George H.W. Bush before becoming the CEO of Halliburton. He was Vice President between 2001 and 2009 under George W. Bush.

DAVID SCHWIMMER SPLITS FROM WIFE _ David Schwimmer and his wife, Zoe Buckman, have split after almost 7 years of marriage.

CHRIS PRATT’S LATEST #WHATSMYSNACKAUDIO 🎧  Once a week Chris Pratt introduces fans to one of his nutritionally-balanced snacks. The snacks, apparently packaged for him by a nutritionist, sound somewhat tasty but aren’t all that tasty looking. In Pratt’s latest #whatsmysnack video he gives us a pretty good rap. • VIDEO

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER EXITS THE NEXT EXPENDABLES MOVIE _ There’s some more bad news for the next Expendables movie. The planned action ensemble sequel has lost another major player. Less than a week after word broke that writer and star Sylvester Stallone would not be involved with the sequel due to creative differences, Schwarzenegger said, “There is no Expendables without Sly. I would never do the movie without him…”

MICHAEL BAY REVEALS PLANS FOR 14 MORE TRANSFORMERS MOVIES _ Are you tired of the Transformers movies yet? If you aren’t, Paramount is going to make sure that you are before they finally stop making them. Michael Bay, who has directed every Transformers movie so far and is planning on departing the franchise after the upcoming Transformers: The Last Knight, recently confirmed that the studio has 14 different Transformers movies in some stage of development. Yeah — 14.

YOUTUBE IS NOW A LIVE TV PROVIDER _ YouTube TV has been switched on in five U.S. cities. For $35 a month, you and five other users can view 40 broadcast and cable channels. The new feature is available on both mobile and desktop in New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Philadelphia. A few of the confirmed channels include ABC, CBS, ESPN, FX, USA, Disney, Bravo, and MSNBC.

… YouTube TV also includes a neat cloud-based DVR feature that lets users record as many shows as they want, and keep them for up to nine months.

… If you want to watch YouTube TV on an actual TV you’ll need to purchase the Chromecast streaming device. The company did say it would support more streaming devices later this year.

JON GOSSELIN RUMORS: KATE GOSSELIN’S EX SAYS HE WILL MARRY AGAIN _ It’s been a while since we heard from everyone’s favorite ex-husband, Jon Gosselin. After making headlines for announcing that he’s becoming a stripper, the latest Jon Gosselin rumors suggest that he’s about to do something no one ever thought he would do: get married again. People Magazine sat down with the father-of-eight to discuss the latest Jon Gosselin rumors. He told the interviewer that, despite the fact that his marriage to Kate didn’t work out, he would be open to getting married again. Jon says he’s been dating a woman named Colleen for almost three years.

… Meanwhile, his new line of work — as a stripper — isn’t going so well. In fact, Jon says it was really a “social experiment” to see if people would pay to see him strip for charity. Part of the money raised went to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

TEEN ASKS EMMA STONE TO PROM IN LA LA LAND REENACTMENT _ High school junior Jacob Staudenmeier wants to take La La Land star Emma Stone to prom. To make it happen he reenacted part of the opening number from the Oscar-nominated film. At one point in his tune Staudenmeier sings, “People say I look like Ryan Gosling, and maybe that’s a bit far-fetched. I know my voice ain’t great. But please be my prom date.” • VIDEO

… In case Stone sees the video, Staudenmeier’s prom April 29 in Phoenix.

BARRY MANILOW OFFICIALLY COMES OUT AS GAY _ Despite being outed by Suzanne Somers in 2015, Barry Manilow has never officially confirmed his sexuality — at least until now. In an interview with People, Barry spoke out about being gay and talked about his nearly 40-year relationship with his husband, Garry Kief. It turns out that Barry Manilow stayed quiet about his sexuality because he was afraid of how his fans would react. With his fanbase being primarily women, he didn’t want them to feel as if he was abandoning them.

… The pair were married in a private and intimate ceremony at their shared home in April, 2014. The ceremony was a surprise to the 20 to 30 guests who had been invited, who all thought that they were just there for a luncheon. The pair have been dating since 1978. Kief is also Barry’s business manager and president of Barry Manilow Productions.

EPISODES OF THE OFFICE ARE NOT LEAVING NETFLIX _ Despite a horrible Internet rumor, Netflix has confirmed that the nine seasons of The Office are here to stay — and they used the most epic Michael Scott reference to do it. In season five, when Michael set out to start his own paper company he wrote an “original” quote on the white board in his new office to motivate himself. The quote read: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and was attributed in massive letters to one Michael Scott, and in verrrrrrry tiny print, to Wayne Gretzky — the famous hockey player who actually said it. Netflix eagerly jumped onboard the goofy, inaccurate whiteboard quote bandwagon, changing the writing to read, “The Office is not coming off Netflix.” • IMAGE


Find these audio files on the Pro Audio page.

• IVY LEAGUE KID: New Jersey teen lists all Ivy League schools she was accepted to attend. → April 6 News & Nuggets.

• CHRIS PRATT: Chris Pratt’s latest #whatsmysnack → April 6 Entertainment

• COMEDY: Hot Pockets (Jim Gaffigan) → April 5 Wacky-But-True

• DROP: It’s awful I hate it! Well that’s the name!




Today is Game Show Appreciation Day.

• Bowling for Gum

• Wheel of Crap We Found in the Couch

• Who Wants to be a Dollar Richer?


This is one where you open the phones and allow only questions that can only be answered with “yes”, “no”, or “irrelevant”. The game can last as long as you want, depending on how many calls you take at a time. (If you have a multi-person show, don’t share the answer with anyone else.)

A man was walking downstairs in a building when he suddenly realized that his wife had just died. How? (The man had just visited his wife in a hospital. She was on a life-support machine following a car accident. As he was walking down the stairs all the lights went off. There had been a power cut and the emergency back-up systems had failed. He knew this because the emergency hall lights didn’t go on. He also knew immediately that his wife had died.)


TRIVIA: Each year in the U.S. 850 people die while doing what? (Jaywalking)


An elm tree was swaying in the wind. It had eight branches and on each tree branch were eight acorns. The wind blew an acorn off each branch. How many are left?

Answer: None. Acorns don’t grow on elms.


A slow motion video that’s not actually in slow motion.


Stella the Dog vs. Snowman.


Extra secure.

source: facebook


This is day 97 of 2017. There are 268 days remaining.


• California Governor Jerry Brown is 79

• Francis Ford Coppola is 78

• John Oates of Hall and Oates is 69

• Jackie Chan is 63

• Attorney Christopher Darden (O.J. Simpson trial) is 61

• Russell Crowe is 53

• Ed Speleers (Downton Abbey) is 29


• 1795: France adopted the meter as the basic measure of length.

• 1827: John Walker, an English chemist, sold the first friction match. He had invented it in the previous year.

• 1860: Will Kellogg was born in Battle Creek, Michigan. Will’s physician brother John developed corn flakes and other cereals to serve to patients at his mental hospital, and Will founded the Kellogg company to market the cereals.

• 1864: To raise money for charity, the first camel race in America was held in Sacramento.

• 1970: Actor John Wayne received an Oscar for Best Actor for his role in True Grit.

• 1999: An Israeli couple was hospitalized for fatigue after kissing in Tel Aviv for 30 hours and 45 minutes. Dror Orpaz and Karmit Tsubera set a world record and won a trip around the world.

• 2003: U.S. troops captured Baghdad; Saddam Hussein’s regime fell two days later.

• 2006: In Osaka, Japan, a man found an unlocked door in a university building and saw a perfect opportunity to pull off a burglary. Or so he thought. He entered the darkened room and suddenly the lights switched on and he found himself face to face with a huge sumo wrestler. And, as he turned to run, he saw it wasn’t just one sumo, but twelve. He had tried to rob a sumo dormitory.


• Hospital Admitting Clerks Day. Metric System Day. National Beer Day. Walk To Work Day. No Housework Day.


• April 14: Good Friday

• April 16: Easter

• April 22: Earth Day

• May 5: Cinco de Mayo

• May 14: Mother’s Day

• May 29: Memorial Day

More holidays



• Peggy Lennon of the Lennon Sisters is 76. John Schneider is 57. Izzy Stradlin of Guns N’ Roses is 55. Dean Norris (Breaking Bad) is 54. Robin Wright is 51. Patricia Arquette is 49.

• Zoo Lovers Day. Draw A Bird Day. Take Your Parents To The Playground Day. Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day.


• Hugh Hefner is 91. Michael Learned is 78. Country singer Hal Ketchum is 64. Dennis Quaid is 63. Joe Scarborough is 54. Cynthia Nixon is 51. Keshia Knight Pulliam is 38. Charlie Hunnam is 37. Jordan Masterson is 31. Leighton Meester is 31. Jesse McCartney is 30. Kristen Stewart is 27. Elle Fanning is 19. Isaac Hempstead Wright is 18.

• Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day. Name Yourself Day.