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This is day 194 of 2017. There are 171 days remaining.


• Patrick Stewart is 77

• Harrison Ford is 75

• Erno Rubik is 73. He invented the Rubik’s Cube.

• Cheech Marin is 71

• Actor-director Cameron Crowe is 60

• Tom Kenny (voice of Spongebob Squarepants) is 55

• Ken Jeong (Dr. Ken, Community) is 48


• 1985: Live Aid, an international rock concert in London, Philadelphia, Moscow and Sydney, Australia, was held to raise money for Africa’s starving people.

• 1985: The Constitution’s presidential disability clause was invoked for the first time as President Ronald Reagan transferred power temporarily to Vice President George H.W. Bush before undergoing surgery for colon cancer.

• 1994: Tonya Harding’s ex-husband, Jeff Gillooly, was sentenced in Portland, Oregon, to two years in prison for his role in the attack on Harding’s skating rival, Nancy Kerrigan.

• 1998: A jury in Poughkeepsie, New York, ruled that the Rev. Al Sharpton and two others had defamed a former prosecutor by accusing him of raping Tawana Brawley.

• 2003: People in the Brazilian town of Pirapora do Bom Jesus were confined to their houses after the whole area was covered with six feet of foam. The foam came from detergents and shampoos dumped into as nearby river and whipped into foam by a small waterfall.

• 2008: Anheuser-Busch accepted a $52 billion cash offer from No. 2 brewer InBev. The new company would be called Anheuser-Busch-InBev.

• 2013: George Zimmerman was found not guilty in the shooting of Trayvon Martin.


• Embrace Your Geekness Day

• Gruntled Workers Day. There’s so much news about disgruntled workers and this is a day to celebrate gruntled workers.

• French Fries Day


• September 5: Labor Day


58: Construction cranes currently in Seattle’s skyline. In second place is Los Angeles with 22.


Researchers have discovered a 1,500-year-old list of ingredients written by Hippocrates, the father of modern western medicine. [It’s his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup.]

News leaked that Quentin Tarantino is working on a movie about Charles Manson. [To be historically accurate Tarantino will actually have to tone down his usual violence.]

A new list of the most often stolen vehicles was released. The number one vehicle is the Honda Accord. [I wonder if that’s ever used as a selling point. “Hey, your neighbors will love it so much, it’ll spend more time in their driveway than yours.”]

One of the world’s largest icebergs in history has broken free. [Shipping companies are keeping a close eye on it, along with a nervous Leonardo DiCaprio.]

At an outdoor wedding in New Brunswick, Canada the father of the bride was giving a speech when he was struck by lightning. [He’s fine, but it’s a reminder that the universe really hates long after-dinner speeches.]

A CEO is being praised for recognizing that employees need to take the occasional day off for their mental health [For example, the White House press corps.]

Paris is going to be the host city for an upcoming Olympic Games. [Because you know how much the French enjoy foreigners,]

Researchers report that they embedded a movie into the very DNA of living cells. [Does that mean that my computer could have a virus AND the latest Spider-Man movie?]

An extremely popular former president of Brazil has been sentenced to 9½ years in prison. [Poor guy. I mean, if you’re already in Brazil, what nation would you flee to?]

Scientists found a 150,000-year-old baby tooth in a cave in Siberia. [It was tucked under a pillow, still waiting for the Neanderthal Tooth Fairy.]


WHY THE 1997 HONDA ACCORD IS THE MOST STOLEN CAR IN THE U.S. _ It’s happened again. According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau’s annual ‘Hot Wheels’ report, the 1997 Accord was the most stolen car last year, making a ’90s Honda the most stolen vehicle in America four years in a row. Uh, why?

… It’s their very popularity that makes the Accord a target. Honda Accords are one of the best-selling vehicles of all time. The model climbed to the top of the charts in 1989 and never really fell. And these cars tend to last. That, of course, means there is a booming market for spare parts for this particular vehicle. Older cars are also generally easier to steal than newer cars. The ’97 Accord was followed closely by the ‘98 Civic, another incredibly popular car in the North American market. American pickups from Ford and Chevrolet took the next two spots and rounding out the top five was the 2016 Toyota Camry.

NEW JERSEY COUPLE RAISING THREE GRANDCHILDREN WINS LOTTERY _ A New Jersey couple that recently lost their daughter to a chronic autoimmune disease received a stroke of good fortune as they help raise their three grandchildren. The grandparents have been looking after their grandchildren ever since their daughter died of lupus. On March 31, they struck it big when their Mega Millions ticket matched all five white balls drawn — earning them $1 million. The couple will spend some of the money on bills and the rest on their grandchildren — ensuring their futures are secure.

MOM’S EASY HACK WILL HELP YOUR KIDS STOP INTERRUPTING YOU _ Raising a small child can truly test your patience, as kids are notorious for bombarding parents with random stories and never-ending impromptu monologues. Parent Jessica Martin-Weber has a simple trick to get her kids to stop interrupting her. Jessica explains: “We tried teaching ‘excuse me please’ or just ‘excuse me,’ but they just repeated that louder and louder too. Cute at first, but ‘excuse me mommy’ 30 times isn’t much better than ‘mommy’ 30 times.”

… “In order to help with this and respect our personal boundaries and limits, we have taught our children to demonstrate when they have something to share by gently laying a hand on our arm if we are speaking or listening to someone else at that moment. So they know we’re aware they want to say something, we physically respond in some way such as putting our hand over their hand or gently touching their back or holding their hand.” Jessica explains in her post that her youngest child, the one who has had the hardest time not interrupting, recently put this method into practice — and it’s working.

MOM ARRESTED IN WALMART CHECKOUT AFTER LEAVING BABY IN CAR _ An Ohio woman was arrested while waiting in the checkout line at a Walmart after police say they rescued her five-month-old from her vehicle in the parking lot. The 24-year-old woman left her baby in a locked vehicle for about 50 minutes while she shopped Tuesday evening. Another shopper spotted the baby in the vehicle — windows up and air conditioning off — around 6 PM when the temperature was hovering around 73. The woman alerted police, who were able to force the vehicle’s door open with the assistance of a local towing company. The baby, who was sweaty and crying, was examined by an ambulance service and released to its grandfather.

THEY’VE NEVER MET AND EVERYONE WANTS THEM TO GET MARRIED _ Three years ago, strangers Michelle Arendas and Josh Avsec met on Tinder. Since then, they’ve kept an epic joke running back and forth via Tinder messages — for three years. Never once have they met in person. The joke: Back in September, 2014 Josh said “hey” to her. She responded over two months later with “sorry, my phone died.” But instead of getting upset or being offended by the slow reply Josh replied to Michelle, “Wow you found that pretty fast. It usually takes me five months to find my charger.” She replied that she was waiting for her phone to be “fully charged.” Josh then waited two months before messaging: “Hey, sorry I was in the shower.” And that’s how it’s been going. Two strangers who’ve never met having fun with one of the slowest text conversations ever. • IMAGE

… Josh recently posted their conversation on Twitter to get a few laughs from friends. Then Twitter users found it and now lovestruck superfans everywhere are gunning for these two to meet IRL and live happily ever after.

THE BEST SOFT SERVE PLACES IN THE U.S. _ It’s that time of the week again, when BuzzFeed picks a food and picks the best place to get it in each state. This time it’s soft serve ice cream places. • LINK

FLIGHT ATTENDANT SEES “I NEED HELP” WRITTEN IN BATHROOM _ Flight attendant Shelia Frederick was making her rounds on an Alaska Airlines flight from Seattle to San Francisco when she noticed something strange: a blonde teenager wearing wrinkled, old clothing was seated by a window, next to a well-dressed older man. The girl had a large bruise on her leg. When Shelia noticed her, the girl looked up. Shelia said, “Her eyes just pierced my soul. They fixed on me and I knew something was wrong and I needed to help her.” Shelia went to the nearest bathroom and placed a note for the girl where she could find it. She also left a pen. When she returned to the young girl, the man seated next to her was eyeing a menu. Shelia looked at the girl and mouthed “go to the bathroom.” The girl did and when Shelia checked the note, she had written back: “I need help.” Shelia called the captain, who arranged for police to be waiting in the terminal when the plane arrived in San Francisco. The teen was a victim in an incident of human trafficking. She had been kidnapped for over two months by the time she and the flight attendant locked eyes.

AMAZON PRIME DAY SHATTERS SITE’S SALES RECORD _ If you bought a new Kindle, Instant Pot or laptop on Amazon Prime Day congrats on getting a deal — and for helping Amazon set a record. Amazon says it had its single biggest sales day ever during the 30-hour Amazon Prime Day that ended Wednesday.

INSTEAD OF DIVORCE, STICK IT OUT _ If you’re thinking of divorce, listen up: it may be worth it to stick it out. Researchers (University of Chicago) concluded that about the same proportion of couples who avoided divorcing despite an unhappy marriage ended up just as happy five years later as those who had split up.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: You were on the verge of divorce but stuck it out — what changed your mind and how’d you make it work?

MOM WANTS APOLOGY OVER McDONALD’S SLIDE COVERED IN POOP _ A woman says her 5-year-old son came down a slide at a McDonald’s playground in New Hampshire covered in poop. Justina Whitmore used Facebook to complain about the incident and complain that staff at the McDonald’s (in Manchester) didn’t take the problem seriously and ignored her pleas for help. She wants an apology. Whitmore says she was eating when her son came over covered in human poop. She says he had been playing tag with a boy who had a soiled diaper.

… The restaurant owner told The Associated Pressthat they “looked into this matter and have taken all appropriate internal actions, as well as reiterated proper protocol with our team.”

TEEN’S CAR STOLEN WITH HER FATHER’S URN IN THE BACKSEAT _ Police in Georgia recovered a stolen car belonging to a teenager — but the thieves took her father’s urn that was in the vehicle. The 16-year-old and her mother were in the process of moving when the theft occurred. The teen says they want her father’s urn back.

THE BEST T.P. LENGTH IS 20 INCHES _ Did you know they actually did some research about ten years ago to determine how much toilet paper is ideal? Researchers (Kimberly-Clark) concluded the best length is about 20 inches — or five standard toilet paper squares. This length offers the right balance of usability and eco-friendliness.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: FATHER TAKES 8-YEAR-OLD SON ON BACKPACKING TRIP WITH ONLY $15 _ A man in China wanting to teach his son about the hardships of life took the young boy for a backpacking trip with only $15 to survive. The dad and his 8-year-old traveled on foot or hitchhiked to get around, and traveled a total distance of 370 miles. During the trip, father and son worked odd jobs in return for a roof over their head. The dad said that many strangers kindly offered them food and free rides.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN FIGHTS HIMSELF, BREAKS HIS OWN LEG _ Don’t you just hate it when you’re fighting yourself and you break your own leg? A guy in South Wales was shadowboxing in the middle of the street. After throwing a few punches, he attempted to go big by performing a spinning kick. The 24-year-old ended up landing on his knee as the rest of his leg broke against the road.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: STOLEN AMBULANCE FOUND AT 7-ELEVEN _ An ambulance was stolen from a hospital in Maryland and then found outside a 7-Eleven on Tuesday, free Slurpee day.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PARTIALLY NUDE MAN IN TENT ANGERED AT THE RAIN _ A guy can only take so much rain. Sheriff’s deputies in Michigan found that out in the early-morning hours Monday when they were asked to calm a screaming man. They found a 57-year-old man partially nude inside a tent outside apartments. Deputies tried to convince the man to quiet down but he refused and told them that he “had to do what he had to do” and that he was upset about the rain on his tent. He was arrested for a noise violation.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN CALLS 911 TO BE HARASSED _ A 53-year-old Florida man called 911 six times. He allegedly asked police (in Sebastian) to harass him so he could sue them for harassment. Instead the officers who responded arrested him for abuse of 911.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN ROBS PLACE WITH DOG _ In Oklahoma City a woman went into a hamburger and ice cream restaurant armed with a hammer. She smashed the cash register and fled with a fist-full of cash. As she fled the restaurant she picked up her dog, which had been waiting outside. To get away further she had to scale a few fences, which meant pushing her dog — a pitbull — over each fence. When police arrived and chased the woman the dog ran with them thinking it was a fun game. The woman was captured.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ROBBER FIRST GIVES PHONE NUMBER TO CLERK _ A woman stepped up to the counter at a Family Video in Akron, Ohio, and gave the clerk her phone number so he could bring up her account and rent her a DVD. But before he could check her out, she handed him a robbery note. He handed over $276 from the register and she fled. Police simply asked for the phone number the woman gave and quickly arrested the woman, who lives just blocks from the store.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BAGGY PANTS CATCH CRIMINAL _ An officer was on patrol in Louisiana when a car went by the other way. It was 1AM and he could hear the car’s stereo blasting. He turned around to pull it over but the car sped off, leading a pursuit at speeds of up to 80 miles per hour. The driver missed a turn and crashed, then ran on foot. The foot chase didn’t last long because the man fell as his pants fell down around his knees.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THIEF RUNS, ASKS FOR TIME OUT _ Two police officers in the Philippines heard a resident screaming and ran to find a burglar ripping off a house. They gave chase but he was panting and gasping for air when they caught up with him. So the burglar turned and signaled for a “time out.” They arrested him.


BOY BAND (8p ET, ABC) — This new episode features a  tribute to the greatest boy bands of all time.

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (8p ET, NBC) — This new episode features some of the biggest and best moments from the season so far.



SEASON PREMIERE: PENN AND TELLER: FOOL US (8p ET, CW) — Featured magicians in the premiere include Richard Turner, Young & Strange, Kayla Drescher, and Mike Super.

LIFE IN PIECES (8:30p ET, CBS) — Repeat

BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS (9p ET, ABC) — Celebs competing in this new episode are Cornelius Smith Jr., Marlee Matlin, Joshua Malina, LaMonica Garrett, Mary McCormack, Elisabeth Rohm, Corbin Bernsen, Matt McGorry, Romi Dias and Catherine Bell.


THE WALL (9p ET, NBC) — New


SERIES PREMIERE: HOOTEN AND THE LADY (9p ET, CW) — This new 8-episode drama, from Britain’s Sky Vision, follows the unlikely partnership between a smooth-talking, danger-prone lone wolf American (Michael Landes, Gold) and an aristocrat and British Museum curator (Ophelia Lovibond, Elementary and Guardians of the Galaxy), who travel the world together to recover priceless and legendary artifacts.

NASHVILLE (9p ET, CMT) — New. Juliette’s injuries continue to plague her.

ZOO (10p ET, CBS) — New. Clementine and Jamie perform a dangerous surgery on Mitch.

THE NIGHT SHIFT (10p ET, NBC) — New. Jordan takes a creative approach to helping a wounded veteran.

THE GONG SHOW (10p ET, ABC) — Celebrity judges in this new episode are Ed Helms, Alison Brie and Will Arnett.


SHIA LABEOUF APOLOGIZES AFTER RACIST ARREST VIDEO IS RELEASED _ Shia LaBeouf has issued an apology after a video of him making racist remarks during his arrest in Georgia over the weekend was released Wednesday. LaBeouf wrote on Twitter Wednesday: “I am deeply ashamed of my behavior and make no excuses for it. I don’t know if these statements are too frequent, or not shared often enough, but I am sure my actions warrant a very sincere apology to the arresting officers, and I am grateful for their restraint. The severity of by behavior is not lost on me.”

… Video of LaBeouf — who was booked for  public drunkenness and disorderly conduct in Savannah over the weekend — was released, showing the actor telling a police officer that he was going to hell because he’s black. In a largely incoherent rant, LaBeouf went on to complain of “a black man who arrested me for being white,” denying that he’s racist because he was “asking three black people to have a cigarette.” • LINK

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS WILL BE A MOVIE _ The longtime bestselling self-help book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus will be turned into a movie. The book was released in 1992 and became the No. 1 bestselling hardcover book of the 1990s. The book discusses psychological differences between the sexes using the common metaphor that the title describes, that men and women are from different planets.

BRITNEY SPEARS NOT PERFORMING AT SUPER BOWL 2018 _ The head of sports marketing for PepsiCo cleared up a rumor that Britney Spears, who performed at the Super Bowl halftime show in 2001, might be returning to football’s biggest stage in 2018. Pepsi sponsors the halftime show and executive Justin Toman said, “I can tell you it’s not Britney [Spears]. We’ll reveal in due time,” adding that performer “rumors always start around this time.”

CHARLIZE THERON READY FOR ANOTHER MAD MAX MOVIE _ Charlize Theron says she’s ready to play Furiosa in another Mad Max movie — and one of the three Mad Max scripts director George Miller co-wrote is a Furiosa prequel. Theron says: “… at the end of the day, this thing lives and breathes with [director] George [Miller]. I think Warner Bros. knows that. We are all waiting for him to show us the way.”

THE NEW NUT JOB 2 TRAILER _ Remember the animated film The Nut Job? It came out in 2014, remember? No? Then you’re not alone. It grossed less than $70 million, but because it made over $120 million worldwide, naturally there must be a sequel. The trailer for The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature is online and features the voices of Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Dunham, Bobby Cannavale and Jackie Chan. • VIDEO

RAINBOW SIX MOVIE COULD STAR RYAN REYNOLDS _ A big screen version of the Tom Clancy novel Rainbow Six is in the works, and the director wants Ryan Reynolds to star. Stay tuned.

ABC SETS NEW PREMIERE DATE FOR BACHELOR IN PARADISE SEASON 4 _ Bachelor in Paradise has landed a new premiere date. ABC announced on Wednesday that the Bachelor spinoff will make its return with a two-night premiere on August 14 and August 15. The fourth season was initially set to debut August 8, but filming on the season was temporarily suspended after a producer filed a misconduct allegation over a sexual encounter between two of the contestants, Corinne Olympios and DeMario Jackson. Both contestants had been drinking and the ongoing investigation raised questions about consent.

… Warner Bros. Television, the producers of the ABC show, concluded that no misconduct took place and resumed filming. Olympios pursued her own investigation but concluded it to her satisfaction shortly after, announcing that she declined an invitation to return to the season. Earlier on Wednesday, however, Olympios confirmed that she will be attending the reunion special. The event, which has yet to be filmed, will reunite her with Jackson, who is also confirmed to attend.

MONOPOLY REY TOKEN UNAVAILABLE ‘DUE TO INSUFFICIENT INTEREST’ _ Star Wars Monopoly fans are still waiting for the Rey token to appear in the Hasbro produced set and the piece has still yet to come with the board game. This was something that was promised by the company in January 2016. Now, 18-months later, that promise has been fulfilled, but just not to United States fans. Apparently, Hasbro’s spokesperson, Julie Duffy, stated that the Rey game piece isn’t available for the United States game set “due to insufficient interest.”

PEEPING TOM USED LADDER TO CLIMB OVER DEMI LOVATO’S BALCONY _ Demi Lovato is the latest victim in a string of burglaries among Hollywood celebrities. According to TMZ, late Tuesday evening a man wearing all black was able to scale the security gate at Demi’s Hollywood Hills home. Once the man was on the property, he used a ladder to climb onto the balcony of the singer’s home. His plan was prevented when Demi’s dogs spotted the man outside the window and began to bark ferociously. The dogs’ barks alerted Demi’s live-in house manager, who reportedly saw the man looking through Lovato’s bedroom window. The manager was able to call the police but when authorities arrived on the scene, the man was already gone.


Find these audio files on the Pro Audio page.

DROP: You’re not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.

SINGING COP: Utah cop sings for blind woman after fixing her microwave. →  July 12 News & Nuggets

PHONER: What’s the weird way you injured yourself? (From the phoner archive.) →  July 12 Bits & Breaks


More prep in the Facebook Group.



Yup, this is an actual website ( that prides itself on selling funny and offensive shirts to the buying public. We went through the website to find some of the best, though finding ones we could talk about on-air was tough!

• You Can’t Sugarcoat a Turd and Call it a Candybar

• WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) For a Klondike Bar?

• Mean People Succeed

• Talk Nerdy to Me

• By the Time You Read This, You’ve Already Read it

• Plain Clothes Cop

• Look at My Chest When I’m Talking to You

• Sometimes I Pee When I Laugh


• 97 percent of women shut their eyes when they kiss, but only 30 percent of men do.

• Smooching involves 16 pairs of muscles.

• Your kissing partner’s saliva can remain in your mouth for three days.

• Historians say the first erotic kiss occurred 3,500 years ago India. But the act became popular in ancient Rome — where they assigned different words for various kinds of kisses.

• Only one out of four people really like their partners kissing technique.

• A passionate kiss usually lasts about minute.


TRIVIA: There are a little over 76,000 of these in the U.S. What? (Dams)

TRIVIA: Before this company settled on its current name, Falcon, Bengal and Dimension 6 were all considered. (Nike)


A man is born in 1972 and dies in 1952 at age 25. How is this possible? (He is born in room 1972 of a hospital and dies in room number 1952.)


Marble race.


Planning to take it back after dinner.

source: unknown


This is day 195 of 2017. There are 170 days remaining.


• Harry Dean Stanton is 91

• Vincent Pastore (The Sopranos) is 71

• Jane Lynch (Glee) is 57

• Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen, Preacher) is 56

•Matthew Fox (Lost) is 51


• 1881: The outlaw known as Billy the Kid was shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in Fort Sumner, New Mexico.

• 1913: Gerald R. Ford Jr., the 38th president of the United States, was born Leslie Lynch King Jr. in Omaha, Nebraska. His mother’s second husband later adopted and renamed him.

• 1965: The Mariner 4 flyby of Mars snapped the first close-up photos of another planet.

• 1969: The United States $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 bills were officially withdrawn from circulation.

• 1999: Major league baseball umpires voted to resign and not work the final month of the season.

• 2001: Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics, first time for China to be awarded the games.

• 2002: A 34-year-old sky-diving cameraman from Addison, Vermont, filmed his false teeth falling out of his mouth at 9,000 feet during his first jump. He said it was a very expensive lesson, and next time he’d take out his dentures. The fallen dentures could have landed anywhere within a 77-square-mile area.

• 2003: The United States Government admits to the existence of Area 51.

• 2006: A Salt Lake City, Utah, man came home in the evening to find someone in his house. He called police and reported that a man was eating in his kitchen. Responding officers found a 45-year-old man sitting at the kitchen table. He had taken two pounds of bacon from the refrigerator and had fried it up.

• 2015: NASA’s New Horizons probe reestablished contact to transmit the first close photos of Pluto and its moons. The probe launched in 2006 and had traveled over 3 billion miles.


• Collector Car Appreciation Day

• International Nude Day

• Macaroni and Cheese Day

• Motorcycle Day

• Shark Awareness Day


• September 5: Labor Day



• Ken Kercheval is 82. Jan-Michael Vincent is 73. Linda Ronstadt is 71. Terry O’Quinn is 65. Forest Whitaker is 56. Brigitte Nielsen is 54. Scott Foley is 45. Brian Austin Green is 44. Taylor Kinney is 36.

• Be A Dork Day. Gummi Worm Day. Give Something Away Day. Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day.


• Stewart Copeland is 65. Michael Flatley is 59. Phoebe Cates is 54. Will Ferrell is 50. Corey Feldman is 46.

• Hot Dog Night. Personal Chef’s Day. Ice Cream Day. World Snake Day.