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This is day 215 of 2017. There are 150 days remaining.
• Tony Bennett is 91
• Martin Sheen is 77
• Martha Stewart is 76
• Director John Landis is 67
• John C. McGinley (Scrubs) is 58
• Isaiah Washington is 54
• NFL quarterback Tom Brady is 40
• Evangeline Lilly (Ant-Man, Lost) is 38
• Swimmer Ryan Lochte is 33
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1492: A half hour before sunrise, Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, on a voyage that took him to the present-day Americas.
• 1933: The Mickey Mouse Watch first went on sale for $2.75.
• 1946: The National Basketball Association was founded.
• 1971: Paul McCartney announced the formation of a new band called Wings.
• 1977: After building and testing 25 units, Radio Shack issued a press release introducing its TRS-80 computer. Within weeks, the company had thousands of orders.
• 1999: Salesman Simon Thompson got a shock when his car broke down in west London and Prince William and Prince Harry stopped to help him push it down the street and out of the way. He said the 17- and 14-year-old Royals acted as though it was no big deal.
• 2004: The pedestal of the Statue of Liberty reopened after being closed since the September 11, 2001 attacks.
• 2011: A skull believed to be 20 million years old was discovered in Uganda. The skull was believed to be from a tree-climbing ape.
• Friendship Day
• Watermelon Day
• Grab Some Nuts Day
• August 3: NFL pre-season begins
• August 26: College football begins
• August 27: MTV Video Music Awards
• September 4: Labor Day
• September 7: NFL season begins
200,000: People in the U.S. who have a pacemaker implanted each year.
After their wedding ceremony a newly married couple in Tennessee went to their motel where they got into an argument which led to the bride reaching inside her wedding dress and pulling out a pistol. [Why did she have a pistol under her dress? Because there wasn’t room for a shotgun.]
After their wedding ceremony a newly married couple in Tennessee went to their motel where they got into an argument which led to the bride reaching inside her wedding dress and pulling out a pistol. [Well, I guess that in that family we know who wears the pants… and holster.]
A brand of glitter-filled iPhone cases has been recalled. It was recalled because the liquid inside can cause chemical burns. [And because we’re all sick of seeing glitter-filled iPhone cases.]
New research shows that the more you drink the more likely you are to develop skin cancer. [That’s because the more you drink the more likely you are to pass out in the tanning bed.]
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that the U.S. isn’t trying to get North Korea to change its leadership. [But they do think that it would be a good idea for them to attend a sensitivity workshop.]
Donald Trump called the White House a real dump. [I agree. Can we get at least one waterfall in the lobby?]
The latest statistics show that 35% of victims of fatal accidents on the job are over 55 years old. [It’s not the working conditions. It’s the junk food in the vending machines.]
A new study finds that you can immediately lower your stress by talking to yourself in the third person. [I would ask myself to please explain to me the third person.]
When a plane landed at San Francisco International Airport, a panicky teenager threw open the emergency door, slid down the wing and took off running. [Eyewitnesses say he kept yelling something about poor cellphone reception.]
NASA is looking to hire a planetary protection officer. The job entails making sure that humans don’t contaminate space and that returning spaceships don’t contaminate earth. [In other words, NASA is looking for a janitor.]
DRESS CODE FOR WAR MEMORIALS _ China’s cultural authorities are proposing a dress code for visitors to historic war memorials. The guideline aims to maintain a solemn atmosphere at registered historic sites, such as military cemeteries, mass graves and other memorials. In addition to “being neatly dressed,” visitors are also advised to refrain from “horseplay or speaking loudly” at the sites.
Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: Should there be a dress code at war memorials in this country?
DADS ALSO STRUGGLE TO ‘HAVE IT ALL’ _ Contrary to the common public perception, men and women experience virtually the same level of work-family conflict. The research (University of Georgia) found that when it comes to work-interference-with-family (WIF) and family-interference-with-work (FIW), men and women “appear to be more similar than different”. The lead researcher (Assistant Professor Kristen Shockley) explains: “We essentially found very little evidence of differences between women and men as far as the level of work-family conflict they report.”
… The researchers believes that while men and women may experience the same level of work-family conflict, they may perceive it differently. For example, women may feel more guilt around work interference with family “because of traditional expectations that mothers are caretakers.” On the other hand, men have traditionally been the primary breadwinner, and therefore “may feel they are fulfilling their family responsibilities by working, resulting in less guilt.”
YOU MIGHT SLEEP BETTER BY SPENDING LESS TIME IN BED _ According to new research (University of Pennsylvania) instead of hitting the pillow to catch up on missed sleep you should try to stay awake. The study claims that between 70 to 80 percent of us could put sleeping problems to bed by avoiding trying to make up for missed Z’s.
WOMAN SENT THE OBAMAS A WEDDING INVITE _ A woman in Texas sent the Obamas a wedding invitation for her daughter’s wedding — and they actually responded. The letter basically wishes them well in their marriage in the typical, Obama-smooth fashion. • IMAGE
SWIMMING EAGLE RESCUED BY MAINE LOBSTERMEN _ A bald eagle was rescued from the Atlantic Ocean last week by a couple of lobstermen. John Chipman Jr. and Kevin Meaney were aboard the fishing vessel the “Theresa Anne” when they spotted the eagle struggling in the water. The eagle was attempting to swim and at one point decided to swim toward their boat and tried to climb up. Meaney tossed a life ring into the water to see if the waterlogged eagle would perch on it. The eagle was interested, but the instability of the ring made the bird topple off. Then then men tied the cover of a bait tank to the life ring to create a makeshift raft. The eagle got right on. The entire makeshift life raft was then picked up and put on the boat. After a short rest on the boat the eagle flew off. • VIDEO
WORLD’S OLDEST FAMILY SAYS THIS IS THE KEY TO THEIR LONG LIVES _ The Donnely family Ireland has managed to live for a really, really long time. Long enough for them to be declared the world’s “oldest family.” The family’s secret is porridge. With a combined age of 1,075 years the family took the title this year. A single bowl of porridge in the morning isn’t enough to do the trick. The world’s oldest family says the key is that you need to “get your oats at night” … a “nice warm bite before sleep. Porridge at around 10 p.m., then porridge again for breakfast at 7 a.m. Cooked oats, milk, perhaps a spot of jam on top.”
THIS ALL-FEMALE BASKETBALL TEAM IS 80+ _ Think you have to be young and spry to dribble a basketball down a court? Think again. The San Diego Senior Women’s Basketball Association, which has 14 teams of women over age 50, has one team that stands out. They’re called The Splash, and every member of the team is 80 and over. And the members of The Splash aren’t just there to socialize and get some exercise. 91-year-old Meg Skinner says, “We play to win.”
… And if you think you’re too old to pick up a new sport, 85-year-old Grace Larsen says nuh-uh. She was 78 when she laced up her first basketball shoes.
CAN A DRINK A DAY KEEP DIABETES AWAY? _ Good booze news out of Denmark: People who enjoy one beer or glass of wine several days a week may be less likely to develop diabetes than drinkers who tend to have all their cocktails on a Saturday night. When researchers looked at people who drank they same total amount of alcohol, they found that men who spread those drinks over three to four days of the week were 27 percent less likely to develop diabetes than guys who downed all their shots and beers in one sitting. Women had 32 percent lower odds of diabetes when they spread their cocktails over several days instead of a single happy hour.
NASA UNLEASHES TWO VINTAGE PLANES TO CHASE ECLIPSE _ While millions of astronomy enthusiasts chase the moon’s shadow on the ground during the August 21 total solar eclipse, four NASA personnel are going to have front row seats. Two pilots and two technicians will race the big black spot at 50,000 feet, well above any cloud cover. And at 400 mph, they’ll be able to stretch their time in the shadow to three minutes, compared to two on the ground.
… They’re not just up there for the view. The aircraft, two 1960s vintage jets that NASA frequently uses for high-altitude research, will carry instruments to help scientists study the solar atmosphere. At cruising altitude, the sky will be 20 to 30 times darker than on the ground, enhancing the details in the sun’s atmosphere — and allowing for pictures in the greatest detail yet.
HAPPY NATIONAL SANDWICH MONTH _ A study revealed Americans eat more than 45 billion sandwiches annually.
NASA IS HIRING SOMEONE TO PROTECT EARTH FROM ALIENS _ Want to save planet Earth? You could apply for NASA’s Planetary Protection Officer role. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration is currently looking for someone with a secret security clearance to ensure alien life, or “organic-constituent and biological contamination”, doesn’t make it’s way back in a space ship. More than that, this person is “responsible for the leadership of NASA’s planetary protection capability, maintenance of planetary protection policies, and oversight of their implementation by NASAs space flight missions.” The job comes with a six-figure paycheck: $124,406 to $187,000 annually.
GERMAN COURT RULES AGAINST SPAGHETTI MONSTER CHURCH _ A German court has ruled that local authorities are entitled to prevent a group calling itself the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster from advertising its “noodle Masses”. It’s standard practice in Germany for small signs at the entrance to towns to announce there’s a Lutheran or Catholic church and detail when it holds services. The “Spaghetti Monster” group, an organization that criticizes religion as intolerant, wanted permission to do the same in Templin, Germany, northeast of Berlin. A German court ruled Wednesday the group can’t claim the rights of a religious or philosophical community.
MANY 30-YEAR-OLDS THINK THEY’RE 22 _ There’s an interesting survey of adult men and women who are right at age 30. Only 38% feel like they’re grown up adults — the kind who pay mortgages, have retirement accounts, and no longer eat Captain Crunch for breakfast. One in five insist they are not adults. Half are not quite sure where they fit in.
HOW TO AVOID INTERACTION WITH THE PUBLIC _ What’s your best technique for avoiding interaction with the public? That’s what a Yale researcher wanted to find out, so she hopped a bus and traveled across the country. After observing and interviewing dozens of travelers, she discovered that people will go to great lengths to avoid interacting with strangers, including covering the open seat next to them with a jacket, staring out the window, pretending to be asleep, or flashing the “don’t bother me face,” otherwise known as the ‘hate stare’. The researcher found that plopping down right next to someone while there are rows of open seats makes you look like a ‘weirdo’.
MEN, WOMEN, AND SHINY OBJECTS _ When a woman speaks to a man, what part of her face does he focus on? How about the other way around? Well thank goodness somebody studied this issue. It turns out that when a man speaks to a woman, she will focus on his body language and eyebrow cleavage. On the other hand, a guy will listen to a woman while staring at her mouth. This, say experts, is a misguided attempt to visualize her words.
… What outside forces distract us during a conversation? Women tend be distracted by people wandering into sight, while guys were more likely to be distracted by random movement like bikes, bright objects, flying dragons, etc.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MANAGER FORCES EMPLOYEES TO DRINK TOILET WATER _ A photo studio manager in China has been detained after he forced three trainees to sip toilet water for not meeting their sales quotas.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SIXTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD HAS ALLOWANCE CUT OFF BY MOM _ A woman in Italy took away her 61-year-old son’s house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late. Tired of her son’s misbehavior, the retiree turned to the police to “convince this blockhead” to behave properly. The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook. Police helped the squabbling duo make up and the two returned home together, with the son’s house keys and daily allowance restored.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DINE-N-DASHER GOES TO JAIL _ A German court sentenced a man to 18 months in jail for cheating dozens of restaurants. The 350-pound man would routinely order lamb chops or steak along with several beers. When the bill came, he either ran for the door or told the waiter he had no money.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY KNOWS HE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK _ An Oregon man on a motorcycle struck a parked car. When police arrived, the motorcyclist was sitting on top of his bike and smelled like alcohol. When asked if he had been drinking he replied, “Way too much.”
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SOMEONE’S AFRAID OF A LIZARD _ The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department received an emergency call from a Houston-area homeowner: an alligator was perched above their door. They sent a private contractor to investigate. Perhaps they should have questioned the “above the door” part: the wildlife handler found the “alligator” was simply a lizard.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LAXATIVES STOLEN _ A 64-year-old man says he was robbed near a train station in San Francisco. Two women armed with pepper spray squirted him in the face, grabbed a bag from his hand, and ran. When officers asked the victim what was in the bag he told them laxatives.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COFFEE CRITIC _ A man allegedly stole a pot of coffee from a 7-Eleven store in Elkhart, Indiana. He then went into another convenience store, yelled that 7-Eleven’s coffee was better than their coffee, and threw the pot he had stolen from the first store at a customer. Police responded and chased him around the city for about 90 minutes. As police moved in on the man he ran into a shed and stripped off all of his clothes and took off again. Officers finally took the man down with a Taser.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ASSAULT WITH FIRE EXTINGUISHERS _ Police were called to a hotel in Tallahassee, Florida, after a customer of the rooftop bar allegedly stripped down to his thong underwear, ran into the hallway, pulled the fire alarm, and then squirted fleeing guests in the face with two fire extinguishers.
HALL OF FAME GAME (8p ET, NBC) — Preseason football begins with the Dallas Cowboys and Arizona Cardinals in Canton, Ohio.
BOY BAND (8p ET, ABC) — New. The contestants perform iconic breakup songs.
THE BIG BANG THEORY (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat
BEAT SHAZAM (8p ET, FOX) — New
PENN AND TELLER: FOOL US (8p ET, CW) — Magicians appearing in this new episode include Matt Johnson, Siegfried Tieber, Jason Fields and Jessica Jane.
KEVIN CAN WAIT (8:30p ET, CBS) — Repeat
BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS (9p ET, ABC) — Tonight’s theme is TV Moms & Dads vs. TV Kids. Celebs appearing are Chad Lowe, Greg Evigan, Ted McGinley, Lesley Fera, Jackée Harry, Jimmie Walker, Mackenzie Phillips, Jonathan Lipnicki, Krista Marie Yu and Jeremy Miller.
BIG BROTHER (9p ET, CBS) — New
LOVE CONNECTION (9p ET, FOX) — New
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? (9p ET, CW) — Ralph Macchio is the guest in this new episode.
NASHVILLE (9p ET, CMT) — New. Deacon gets invited to play the Opry.
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? (9:30p ET, CW) — Repeat
ZOO (10p ET, CBS) — New. The origin of the hybrids is revealed.
THE GONG SHOW (10p ET, ABC) — Celebrity judges in this new episode are Megan Fox, Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph.
SERIES PREMIERE: THE GUEST BOOK (10p ET, TBS) — This new comedy anthology revolves around a quaint mountain cabin and the different guests that check in. Kellie Martin stars as the local sheriff, with recurring stars Garret Dillahunt (Raising Hope), Jaime Pressly, and Michael Rapaport. Guest stars this season include Stockard Channing, Community’s Danny Pudi, and Jenna Fischer. Another new episode follows at 10:30p ET.
SEASON PREMIERE: I LOVE KELLIE PICKLER (11p ET, CMT) — This reality series is back for a 3rd season.
DIVERGENT TV SERIES IS REPORTEDLY STILL HAPPENING _ The delayed fourth movie in the Divergent series is reportedly being developed for the Starz network. Ascendant — which was originally scheduled for a theatrical release in the spring of this year — is being retooled as a television series. The tricky thing will be getting the original cast from the movies. Shailene Woodley told Vanity Fair earlier this year that she had no plans to appear in a TV adaptation.
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR IN TALKS TO VOICE SCAR IN LION KING REMAKE _ Chiwetel Ejifor is in talks to voice the villainous Scar in the live-action Lion King remake. Ejifor would join Donald Glover as lion cub Simba, James Earl Jones as his father Mufasa, and John Oliver as Zazu.
… Jeremy Irons voiced the lion in the original 1994 Lion King.
JOANNA GAINES COMING OUT WITH A NEW BOOK _ Get ready, Fixer Upper fans — Joanna Gaines has a new design book on the way. The reality star shared a photo Wednesday on Instagram, giving her fans their first glimpse at the new project. She wrote next to the photo: “Day 1 of shooting images for my design book! I got so giddy when we captured the first few photos. We have been preparing for this book for so long and I’m excited to finally see it take shape. It will be a deep dive into all things home and design with lots of pretty details. I can’t wait to share it with you!”
… Chip revealed in May that he was writing a memoir about what it took for him to build his business. His book, Capital Gaines: The Smart Things I Learned By Doing Stupid Stuff, comes out in October. • LINK
MIAMI VICE REBOOT IN THE WORKS _ ( AUDIO) Another hit 1980s TV show may be getting a reboot: Miami Vice. The main driving force behind Miami Vice getting a TV reboot is Vin Diesel. The original show ran from 1984 to 1989 and starred Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as detectives James “Sonny” Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs.
GEORGE AND AMAL CLOONEY ARE SENDING 3,000 REFUGEES TO SCHOOL _ George and Amal Clooney soon will help send thousands of Syrian refugees to school. The couple’s organization, the Clooney Foundation for Justice, is partnering with UNICEF and Google to devote $2.25 million toward seven public schools in Lebanon. Computer giant HP is throwing in an additional $1 million technology grant. The foundation isn’t opening any new schools. Instead, the money will go toward extending the hours so refugee children can attend classes in the afternoon. Support from the foundation will cover the costs for 3,000 Syrian children to attend school, including registration fees, teacher salaries and textbooks.
WAX MUSEUM SEEKS HELP TO IMPROVE ‘CREEPY’ STATUE _ A new wax museum is asking New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for help to improve a wax replica of him that has been ridiculed online. The Dreamland Wax Museum in Boston features a statue of Brady that has brought criticism from many people who say it looks “creepy” and doesn’t resemble him. A Facebook post from the museum acknowledges the figure isn’t perfect because it’s based on a photo and not on Brady’s actual measurements. The museum invited Brady to “come by and sit in for a measurement session.” • IMAGE
TRUMP REPORTEDLY THREATENED TO SUE SHARKNADO TEAM _ Two years before Donald Trump was sworn in as commander-in-chief, he was on his way to playing the very same role in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! After not being able to cast their number one pick, Sarah Palin, producers reached out to The Donald to see if he was interested in the role. He was thrilled to be asked. But after Trump announced his campaign for the real-life president of the United States, communication between the Sharknado team and his camp became strained. They decided to give the role to Mark Cuban. Apparently, the decision upset Trump so much his lawyer threatened to sue the production.
FARM WITH BARN THAT INSPIRED CHARLOTTE’S WEB FOR SALE _ A 44-acre farm in Maine where E.B. White wrote Charlotte’s Web is for sale for $3.7 million. The home where White lived until his death in 1985 includes a barn that was the setting for the beloved children’s book featuring a pig named Wilbur and a spider named Charlotte. The home dates to the late 1700s. White and his wife, Katherine White, bought it in 1933.
Find these audio files on the Pro Audio page.
• MIAMI VICE: A TV reboot is possibly in the works. → August 3 Entertainment
• DROP: You’re fresh. You’re funny. From my heart I never liked you.
• THANKSGIVING SHOPPING: GameStop is the major retailer to announce it will be open on Thanksgiving. A listener calls in.
More prep in the Facebook Group.
FIVE BIGGEST REGRETS DIVORCED PEOPLE HAVE
A University of Michigan psychologist collected data from hundreds of couples and found that most divorced people shared the same five regrets about their marriages. Here is the advice she gathered:
• Show your partner you love and care for them in any way you can. Small gestures like complimenting your partner, saying “I love you” or holding hands go a long way. The most important ways to display affection are showing love, showing support, making your partner feel good about themselves and keeping things interesting in the relationship.
• Money matters, discuss it. Money is the number-one source of conflict in most marriages.
• Leave the past behind you. To engage in a healthy way with your partner, you need to let go of the past. This includes getting over jealousy of your partner’s past relationships, irritation at how your mother-in-law treats you, something from your own childhood that makes it hard for you to trust, a spat you had with your spouse six months ago.
• Don’t play the blame game. Ask your partner for their view of a problem. By getting your partner’s perspective, and marrying it with your perspective, you get the relationship perspective.
• Communication is key. Forty-one percent of respondents cited communication as the number-one factor they would change in their next relationship. Practice “active listening”, where you try to hear what the other person is saying, repeating back what you just heard and asking if you understand correctly. Partners also need to reveal more about themselves in order to maintain communication.
MY CRAZY PLAN TO ALWAYS SLEEP ON A NEW MATTRESS
The hot online product is the mattress. Tons of mattress companies with catchy names will now ship one right to your front door — and nearly all of them offer a 100-day in-home trial with no-hassle returns. One even offers a 365 day guarantee.
So here’s my plan: I’m going to sleep for free for 4 years and 2 months. I found all of the online mattress companies with 100-day-plus returns and added up the days.
- Nextar (365 days)
- Loom & Leaf
- Avocado Green
… Great plan, right?
WHAT MILLENNIALS WOULD KILL NEXT
Millennials have been blamed for the “death” of the movie business, the napkin industry, vacations, Home Depot and even soap. BuzzFeed asked millennials what they’d like to kill next:
- The electoral college
- Iceberg lettuce
- Human interaction
- Columbus Day
- All cash
- Comic sans
- Commercial jingles
- American cheese
- Hot tubs
- Black Friday
- Non-Greek yogurt
- Top sheets
- Low-fat dairy
- Bumper stickers
- Family reunions
- Christmas cards
- Conference calls
- Luggage sets
- Game shows
- Spiral notebooks
- Paper clips
- Breath mints
- Contact lenses
- Water parks
- Rental cars
TRIVIA: The next time you’re in a bar, do this just once and you’ll burn 20 calories. (Sing a karaoke song)
Start with the letters ERGRO. Now place three letters in front of them, and the same three letters after them — in the same order. You’ve now formed a common word. (Hint: You may have to dig deep for the answer.)
Answer: Add the letters UND.
This is day 216 of 2017. There are 149 days remaining.
• Richard Belzer (Law and Order: Special Victims Unit) is 73
• Billy Bob Thornton is 62
• Producer Michael Gelman (Live with Kelly and Ryan) is 56
• Daniel Dae Kim is 49
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1830: Plans for the city of Chicago were laid out.
• 1892: The family of Lizzie Borden was found murdered in their Fall River, Massachusetts home.
• 1945: Golfer Byron Nelson recorded the most tournament wins in a season: 18. (Still a record.)
• 1949: The NBL and NBAA merged into the National Basketball Association.
• 1956: Elvis Presley released Hound Dog.
• 2004: In Florence, Kentucky, Alan Swain walked into a bank and demanded cash from the teller. She told him “No.” He demanded money again and again she refused. To which Alan replied, “OK. I’ll go out and get my gun.” The bank employees then watched Alan jump in his car and, instead of fleeing, casually drive over to the shopping mall next door. He parked in the first place he found and walked inside. The cops were waiting for him when he came out.
• 2014: A hospital in France announced plans to open a wine bar where terminally ill patients would be able to enjoy a “medically-supervised” glass with their families. The head physician at the hospital said terminally ill patients had the right to “enjoy themselves”.
• Twins Days Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio – August 4-6
• Coast Guard Day
• International Beer Day
• Chocolate Chip Day
• Chocolate Chip Cookie Day
• Single Working Women’s Day
• August 26: College football begins
• August 27: MTV Video Music Awards
• September 4: Labor Day
• September 7: NFL season begins
SATURDAY, AUGUST 5
• Loni Anderson is 72. Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch) is 61. Jonathan Silverman is 51. Country singer Terri Clark is 49. Drummer Will Sellers of Old Dominion is 39. Jesse Williams is 37.
• Disc Golf Day. Mustard Day. Underwear Day. Sandcastle Day. Clown Day.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 6
• Michelle Yeoh is 55. M. Night Shyamalan is 47. Geri Halliwell is 45. Vera Farmiga is 44. Soleil Moon Frye is 41. Leslie Odom Jr. is 36.
• Friendship Day. Kids’ Day. Sister’s Day. Wiggle Your Toes Day.