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This is day 59 of 2018. There are 306 days remaining.


• Gavin MacLeod is 87

• Actor-director-dancer Tommy Tune is 79

• Former auto racer Mario Andretti is 78

• Frank Bonner (WKRP in Cincinnati) is 76

• Mercedes Ruehl is 70

• Bernadette Peters is 70

• Gilbert Gottfried is 63

• John Turturro is 61

• Author Lemony Snicket (aka Daniel Handler) is 48

• Tasha Smith (Empire) is 47

• Ali Larter is 42


• 1854: The Republican Party of the United States was organized in Ripon, Wisconsin.

• 1935: Nylon was discovered by Wallace Carothers.

• 1940: Basketball is televised for the first time. Fordham University played the University of Pittsburgh in Madison Square Garden.

• 1953: James D. Watson and Francis Crick announced to friends that they had determined the chemical structure of DNA. Formal announcement would come on April 25.

• 1983: The final episode of M*A*S*H was broadcast in the U.S., becoming the most watched television episode in history, with 106–125 million viewers in the U.S.

• 1996: Britain’s Princess Diana agreed to a divorce from Prince Charles, ending a marriage that began in 1981. She said it was “the saddest day of her life.”

• 2007: Fifteen-year-old Jennifer Mee of St. Petersburg, Florida, stopped hiccuping for the first time in more than a month. Jennifer’s hiccups began January 23 during her first period science class, and did not stop until late on February 28. No one could explain or cure the problem. At times, she hiccuped as many as 50 times a minute.

• 2013: In North Carolina, a neuroscientist at Duke University announced he has successfully connected the brains of two rats in such a way that they share information.


• Floral Design Day

• Inconvenience Yourself Day

• Rare Disease Day

• Chocolate Souffle Day


• March 4: Academy Awards
• March 8: Winter Paralympics begin
• March 8: International Women’s Day
• March 9: SXSW begins
• March 11: Daylight Saving Time begins
• March 11: NCAA basketball “Selection Sunday”
• March 13: March Madness begins
• March 29: MLB opening day
• March 30: Passover and Good Friday
• April 1: Easter
• April 13: Friday the 13th
• April 15: Tax deadline day
• April 15: Academy of Country Music Awards
• April 20: 4/20
• April 22: Earth Day
• April 28: White House Correspondents Dinner
• May 4: Star Wars Day – May the Fourth be with you
• May 5: Cinco de Mayo
• May 13: Mother’s Day
• May 19: The royal wedding


1.2 billion: Golf balls manufactured each year (globally).


A new UN report accuses North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un and Syria’s Bashir al-Assad of operating a secret network between their two countries allowing them to assist each other financially and militarily. [It’s an international case of I’ll wash your scaly reptilian back and you wash mine.]

Barbara Streisand revealed that she now has clones of her deceased dog. [Maybe she’s taking her hit song a bit too seriously — The Way We Were.]

A church in a German village is courting controversy by deciding to keep their historic church bell that bears a swastika and an inscription that praises Hitler. [Well, maybe the bell is appropriate. After all, Hitler was also loud and empty.]

A Kansas couple has become the happy parents of rare identical triplets. [Nothing says joy like the middle of the night with babies crying in three-part harmony.]

Jared Kushner’s government security clearance has been downgraded. [Can you imagine how humiliating it is to now have to have a permission slip signed by your wife?]

A heat wave in the Arctic has scientists stunned. [And sunburned.]

According to a new report, every iPhone can now be unlocked by the Feds. [So to our friends in politics, you might want to think twice about which phone you decide to use for your sexting.]

San Francisco has just been named the hardest working city in the U.S. [You have to be working all the time just to pay the rent on the apartment that you rarely see.]

New research indicates that standing desks may not be as good for your health as previously thought. [Whoa. Now that’s the kind of news that you want to take sitting down.]


DONUT FANS WAIT 36 HOURS FOR KRISPY KREME TO OPEN __ Krispy Kreme donuts are good — but are they worth camping out for 36 hours? Three women in Auckland, New Zealand, say yes. The two 18-year-olds and their 21-year-old friend were the first in line when the store opened on Wednesday morning. They had been waiting outside the store since Monday night, sleeping on beanbags while their parents brought them food and spare clothes. It’s New Zealand’s first Krispy Kreme and the first 100 people in line all received a numbered t-shirt, reflecting their number in line. The new facility has two production lines and can create 4,320 doughnuts every hour.

GUY DROPS OUT OF COLLEGE TO HELP DYING FRIEND COMPLETE BUCKET LIST _ Chris Betancourt was diagnosed with a form of cancer called chronic mylogenous leukemia. The 20-year-old from California believes he only has a year left to live. So Chris’ best friend, Dillon Hill, decided to drop out of college to help him fulfill his bucket list.

… The two grew especially close in tragedy. Not only was Dillon there when Chris was first diagnosed, but Dillon was dating Chris’ sister before she died by suicide. The pair are traveling the world to cross off each item on Chris’ 127 point list. The friends kicked off their list by buying 100 items from a fast food restaurant and delivering the treats to the homeless.

NUDIST COMMUNITY UPSET MAIL CARRIER WON’T DELIVER THEIR MAIL _ A nudist community in Florida upset with the postal service over a carrier they say refuses to deliver their mail. Residents of an RV resort say the problem has been going on for months. A carrier for the postal service says she refuses to enter the community because she is offended by their “naked lifestyle.” But nudist Eileen Hudack said “It offends me that she does not do her job because if she can’t do this job, she shouldn’t be having this job.” Nudist Leonard Rusin added, “The postal creed doesn’t say anything about them not coming into a nudist resort.”

TEACHER SHOOTS HERSELF IN THE LEG WHILE AT SCHOOL _ A teacher in Utah accidentally shot herself in the leg inside an elementary school building. The teacher (Michelle Ferguson-Montgomery) accidentally discharged her gun while using a faculty restroom. The teacher was in legal possession of her gun on school property. State law allows individuals to obtain a concealed-weapons permit and carry firearms onto school campuses, following the completion of a safety training course. Educators in possession of a weapon on school property must keep it with them at all times to prevent a student from finding the gun in a drawer or cabinet.

ELVIS PRESLEY SEEKING CONGRESSIONAL SEAT IN ARKANSAS _ The race for an Arkansas congressional seat is getting all shook up with the entrance of a new candidate: Elvis Presley. Elvis D. Presley, an occasional impersonator of the Elvis Presley who legally changed his name, has filed to run as the Libertarian nominee.

NEW BEER HOTEL TO FEATURE SHOWER BEERS _ Finally, a hotel for true beer lovers. Slated to open two locations in 2019, BrewDog created what they called the “world’s first crowdfunded craft beer hotel.” The Scottish beer manufacturer will open their Aberdeenshire, Scotland, location in early 2019, with a location in Columbus, Ohio, scheduled for later that year. Each room will feature beer taps, and showers will come with built-in fridges. The Ohio location even features IPA filled hot tubs and beer-focused spa treatments. The Aberdeenshire location, which will be located at the brewery’s headquarters, will have rooms that overlook the brewery to give guests a behind-the-scenes look at how brewers work.

HOW MANY GUYS CAN YOU DATE AT ONCE? _ A recent survey asked women, “How many guys can you date at the same time?” Two seems like a lot to juggle but 11% of women can date three or more!

  • 55% – Only one
  • 34% – Two
  • 11% – Three or more

WOMAN PROTESTS WATER BILL WITH NEARLY $500 WORTH OF PENNIES _ A Florida woman upset about the size of her water bills decided to send a message to the city by paying with $493 worth of pennies. That’s 49,300 pennies employees had to count.

4G IS GOING TO THE MOON _ A German space company called PTScientists has been planning a mission to the moon for many years now. In a partnership with Audi, the company plans to put a couple of all-wheel-drive rovers on the moon in 2019. Now PTScientists has partnered with Vodafone and Nokia to create a Moon-based communications network using 4G LTE to bring high-def video to those of us here on Earth.

THE WORLD OF SELF-DRIVING CARS IS SET TO CHANGE IN APRIL _ Residents of California are going to have to get used to cars driving with nobody behind the wheel. The California DMV got approval Monday for its plan to put self-driving cars on the road with no safety driver. That means starting April 2, Google, Ford, Nvidia, and other companies can own and operate cars driving around California without anybody inside.

… There are two permits, one for testing and another for commercial use, though the commercial use permit is geared towards companies offering services to the public, like autonomous taxis or delivery. Under the rules, a company would have to have a human remotely monitoring every car’s driving at all times.

SICK OF BEING BURGLED, STORE OWNER PUTS UP POLITE SIGN _ A woman in China was tired of having her little general store robbed. So she decided to send potential criminals a clear message with a sign on her roll-down security door that reads: “Dear friends, none of us are rich here. Please don’t patronize our store anymore. There’s nothing of value here. If you break my door, I have to pay to fix it. Thank you!” Her store hasn’t been robbed in the year since she posted the message.

PERFECTIONISTS MAY STRUGGLE IN MARRIAGE _ Research (University of British Columbia) says that perfectionists may struggle in marriage and other intimate relationships. The early months and years of a marriage may be the hardest for a perfectionist as both the bride and groom adjust to each other and the life they are creating together.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: AROUND 2 MILLION PEOPLE STILL USE AOL DIAL-UP _ ( AUDIO)  It sounds crazy, but something like 2 million people in the United States still use AOL dial-up to connect to the Internet. That 56k modem connection essentially means around 2 million people experience the World Wide Web like it’s 1995. The average AOL dial-up user pays $20 a month.

… So, who are these people? A study (from 2009) shows 32% of dial-up users said they couldn’t afford to upgrade. Most of the rest said broadband either wasn’t available or they just didn’t care to change.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LIVING GUY HAS A FUNERAL _ A 68-year-old man in Belgium celebrated his birthday by inviting his friends to his own funeral so he could see what it would be like. His six children invited 250 guests who wore black, sent flowers and gave eulogies.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COOL UNDER PRESSURE, TEEN LANDS BANK JOB _ In Arizona an 18-year-old was driving to work and stopped in a strip mall for a quick errand. That’s when a stranger jumped into the passenger seat of his car. The teen told the man to get out, but the man said he had a gun and demanded money. The teen said he didn’t have any money, so the man made him drive to an ATM. The teen explained that he didn’t have an ATM card, but could go into the bank branch in a nearby supermarket and cash a check. The man agreed, and they walked over to the store together. While the man waited by the door, the teen went to a teller and quietly explained what was going on. The teller stalled while the bank manager called the cops, who showed up and busted the thief. The bank manager was so impressed with the teen’s coolness that he offered him a job.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN ROBS BANK JUST A BLOCK FROM HIS APARTMENT _ Police arrested a suspect less than half an hour after a bank robbery in Washington state. Police arrested the man in his apartment and recovered all the money. Witnesses thought it was odd when they watched the man pull a stocking over his head before the heist. And after, a half-dozen people pointed to the apartment building and said, “He went there.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ROBBER FALLS FOR VICTIM, BRINGS HER FLOWERS _ In Italy, a man robbed a post office. He got away with some cash, but, try as he might, he just could not get the image of the lovely woman he robbed out of his head. So he did what any lovesick robber would do: He bought a large bunch of flowers and returned to the post office the next day to apologize. And to ask for a date. She kept him talking while she set off a silent alarm alerting police.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY STABBED FOR TAKING TOO LONG IN BATHROOM _ In San Diego an man suffered stab wounds in a fight over how long he was taking in the bathroom of a home. The victim was hospitalized.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: JAPANESE MAN DRESSES UP IN GIRL’S UNIFORM _ A man in Japan was arrested for trespassing after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl’s uniform and a long wig. The 30-year-old man told police he’d bought the uniform over the Internet and put it on to take a stroll near the school. When students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds, hoping to blend in with a crowd of teenagers. They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process. A school clerk pursued him and stopped him.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN DRIVES DRUNK TO PICK UP BROTHER CHARGED WITH DWI _ A New York state woman faces driving while intoxicated charges after she drove drunk to the police station to pick up her brother who had also been charged with DWI.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN CHARGED WITH STEALING MEATBALLS _ Pennsylvania state police arrested a man over stolen meatballs. A homeowner told police he spotted Leahman Glenn Robert Potter standing near his residence and later discovered a pot of meatballs was taken from his garage. When police caught up to Potter they found red sauce on his face — sauce that matched the stolen pot of meatballs.


SEASON PREMIERE: SURVIVOR: GHOST ISLAND (8p ET, CBS) — Twenty new contestants face-off against each other and the mistakes of Survivor past. Contestants will be sent to Ghost Island (similar to Exile Island in other seasons), which is filled with items from past seasons, including idols and advantages.

THE BLACKLIST (8p ET, NBC) — New. Red helps the team track someone who carefully develops airtight alibis.

THE GOLDBERGS (8p ET, ABC) — New. Barry joins the football team. Philadelphia Eagles’ Mike Quick, Merrill Reese, Don Smolenski and Howie Roseman guest star.

THE X FILES (8p ET, FOX) — New. Mulder and Scully find themselves targets in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse.

RIVERDALE (8p ET, CW) — Repeat

SPEECHLESS (8:30p ET, ABC) — New. JJ struggles with not being treated like an adult on his 18th birthday.

LAW & ORDER:SVU (9p ET, NBC) — New. A doctor arrested for sexually abusing his patients is set free after Cassidy’s (guest star Dean Winters) testimony causes a mistrial.

MODERN FAMILY (9p ET, ABC) — New. Now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces.

9-1-1 (9p ET, FOX) — New. A full moon keeps the crew busy with crazy calls.


AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE (9:30p ET, ABC) — New. Katie wants to prove to the Westport moms that she is fully capable of competing at Field Day.

SEAL TEAM (10p ET, CBS) — New. Jason and the team get closer to discovering who ambushed Echo Team.

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (10p ET, ABC) — New. Ten weeks after his wife was killed in a car accident, President Kirkman’s senior staff insist he see a therapist (guest star Timothy Busfield).

CHICAGO P.D. (10p ET, NBC) — New. Intelligence tracks down a vigilante who is killing rapists.


THE LOOMING TOWER (Hulu) — This new fact based drama series is based on Lawrence Wright’s Pulitzer Prize-winning book of the same name, and reexamines pre-Sept. 11 intelligence failures by the FBI and the CIA that may have contributed to the rise of Al Qaeda. It also follows members of counter-terrorism divisions of the FBI and CIA as they travel the world fighting for ownership of information. Jeff Daniels, Peter Sarsgaard, Bill Camp (The Night Of) star.


HONEST TRAILER FOR THE 2018 OSCAR BEST PICTURE NOMINEES _ In honor of the 90th annual Academy Awards taking place this Sunday, the Honest Trailers comedy series has delivered a breakdown of the nine films in the running for Best Picture. • VIDEO

CYNTHIA NIXON HANGS WITH SJP _ Cynthia Nixon showed her allegiance to Sarah Jessica Parker by posting a picture of the two actresses together on Instagram. Nixon, who played Miranda on Sex and the City, is the latest star of the iconic HBO series to show support for Parker in the wake of co-star Kim Cattrall’s vicious comments. After Parker publicly expressed condolences for the passing of Cattrall’s brother, Cattrall wrote to Parker on Instagram: “You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona.”

SPICE GIRLS WILL PERFORM AT ROYAL WEDDING  _ They’re rumored to have signed on the dotted line for a US and UK tour, but that’s not the only exciting news the Spice Girls have. On the TV talk show The Real, Mel B has let it slip that the band will be performing at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding in May.

CLAIM: MEGHAN MARKLE WAS THE AUTHOR OF A SECRET BLOG _ Meghan Markle used to run the lifestyle blog The Tig. But there is a new rumor that Meghan was the author of the infamous blog called The Working Actress, which was popular from 2010 and 2012.

… A writer named David Jones took a look at the posts and where Meghan was at the time and there is some correlation. The Working Actress was an anonymous blog that was much like a diary. If it is Meghan who wrote it, she would have been in her late 20s at the time and still married to Trevor Engelson. This also means it would have been before The Tig and before her TV show Suits.

… The Working Actress was popular among working actors. There were details about casting calls and film sets. One entry read: “I’ve had to freeze my [acting] union membership, borrow money, work jobs that I hated, kiss actors with smelly breath and cry for hours on end because I just didn’t think I could take it any more.” Another entry read: “But at the end of the day it’s all worth it. People often describe actors who pop onto the scene as overnight success stories. Here’s the reality — it’s more like years of hustle… welcome to the hustle.”

… It’s believed that Meghan stopped adding to The Working Actress when her career started to take off. The blog has since been deleted.

SERENA WILLIAMS’ HUSBAND PUT UP FOUR BILLBOARDS _ Being a new mom is can be difficult — unless you’re married to someone like Reddit founder Alexis Ohanian. And lucky for tennis superstar Serena Williams, she is. In Palm Springs, California, Alexis had four billboard put up, each with a photo and a word. The billboards read “Greatest” “Momma” “of All Time,” with the final billboard reading “G.O.A.T.” The four billboards were a play on Serena’s fondness for referring to herself as the ultimate G.O.A.T. — “greatest of all time” — when it comes to tennis. • IMAGES

STEVE MARTIN AND MARTIN SHORT PLUG NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL _ Steve Martin and Martin Short are on a national comedy tour, and the pair said Tuesday their South Carolina stop will become a special for Netflix. Titled after their live show, Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life was taped last week in Greenville, South Carolina. It features new comedy bits, musical sketches and conversations about the two old friends’ long careers, most memorable encounters and their lives in showbiz. • VIDEO

ELLEN DEGENERES DEDICATES HOSPITAL ROOM TO JIMMY KIMMEL’S SON _  ( AUDIO)  Ellen DeGeneres honored her friend Jimmy Kimmel and his son on Tuesday. Kimmel has been a vocal champion of children’s health care since his son, Billy, was born with a heart defect in April 2017, and has urged Congress to restore the Children’s Health Insurance Program. Ellen told Kimmel that she teamed with Children’s Hospital L.A. to name one of the rooms of the Heart Institute floor in honor of Billy — and this brought Jimmy to tears.

NETFLIX TO HAVE 700 ORIGINAL MOVIES AND SHOWS AVAILABLE IN 2018 _ Netflix sure is doing its best to give cable and satellite TV viewers reasons to cut the cord. The company says it wants to have somewhere around 700 original shows and movies on the service this year.

BELLAMY YOUNG APOLOGIZES TO RYAN SEACREST _ Scandal star Bellamy Young said Monday on a red carpet that Ryan Seacrest should give up his red-carpet hosting duties at the Oscars in the wake of sexual harassment allegations levied against him by his former E! stylist. But now, Young is offering the American Idol host an apology for her remarks, explaining that she wasn’t given the whole story by the journalist who asked the question.

… On Tuesday Young told The Hollywood Reporter: “I have an apology to make. … I spoke on record about something I had no first hand knowledge of. I trusted that the information that the journalist provided me with was complete, and I gave my general opinion based on the information he provided. … But never has there been a more urgent time to make sure our voices are used for truth, and I failed in that regard Monday night. Our words matter. Our word matters. I apologize to Ryan Seacrest. He has been exonerated from the allegations I was told about on the carpet, so my opinion is different now…”

… After the claims initially made headlines in Nov 2017, E! launched a third-party investigation that concluded there was “insufficient evidence to substantiate” these allegations.

… An E! spokesperson followed that up Tuesday with a new statement that “any claims that question the legitimacy of this investigation are completely baseless.” The statement also says: “E!’s investigation was extremely comprehensive and thorough. Over the course of a two month process, our outside counsel interviewed more than two dozen people regarding the allegations, including multiple separate meetings with the claimant and all firsthand witnesses that she provided. The investigator is an attorney with nearly 20 years experience and is highly regarded professionally.”

THIS YEAR’S OSCARS SWAG BAGS ARE OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE _ Endless brands have lined up to lavish the Oscar VIPs with goodies this year, from extravagant free trips to Tanzania, Hawaii and Greece to more mundane Mexican sodas. This year, the bag is said to be worth up to $100,000 and includes those aforementioned luxe vacations along with a free “gum rejuvenation” dental procedure, sessions with a celebrity trainer, a “conflict-free” diamond necklace and other jewelry, a “24K gold facial,” locally grown oranges, Jarritos soda, and an “18-minute phobia-relief session.”

… If that’s not LA enough for you, the stars also get a $10,000 donation to the animal shelter of their choice, plus fancy pet food for their own pampered pooches.

J.J. WATT HITS BACK _ J.J. Watt got the hard questions Tuesday from a woman on social media who wants to know where all of the money J.J. raised for Hurricane Harvey is actually going. The Houston woman, named Kim, reached out to J.J. on Twitter about how the millions he raised is being distributed. She tweeted: “Do we know where any of money went because I can’t find one person they got any help from the JJ Watt foundation for Hurricane Harvey and I know JJ’s a great man.”

… J.J. responded: “There are 2.3 million people in Houston alone, Kim. I apologize that we aren’t able to reach every single person, it’s simply not possible. We’ve rebuilt homes & day cares, provided food & medical care and our work is far from finished! I promise we’re doing the best we can!!!”

BIG LITTLE LIES BRINGING ADAM SCOTT BACK FOR SEASON 2 _ Adam Scott is returning to Monterey. The actor has closed a new deal with HBO to reprise his role as Ed Mackenzie in season two of Big Little Lies. He joins returning stars Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Laura Dern and Zoe Kravitz as well as new season two regular Meryl Streep.

JAMES GUNN: GROOT IS DEAD AND BABY GROOT IS GROOT’S SON _ WHAT?!?! Apparently the Groot we see in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is not the Original Groot from Vol. 1 but his son! James Gunn confirmed the new identity after weighing in on a debate about which alien he preferred: Porgs or Groot and which one he would save from death if he could only save one. Naturally, he chose Groot. It was over the course of a Twitter conversation that Gunn made his revelation that Groot is dead and baby Groot is Groot’s son.

TOP TV SHOWS _ Week of February 19-25.

  1. Winter Olympics (Tuesday), NBC, 17.53 million
  2. Winter Olympics (Monday), NBC, 16.37 million
  3. Winter Olympics (Thursday), NBC, 15.24 million
  4. Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony, NBC, 14.78 million
  5. Winter Olympics (Wednesday), NBC, 14.17 million
  6. Winter Olympics (Friday), NBC, 12.9 million
  7. Winter Olympics (Saturday, 9-10 p.m.), NBC, 11.69 million
  8. Winter Olympics Gala (Saturday, 10-11 p.m.), NBC, 10.85 million
  9. 60 Minutes, CBS, 8.33 million
  10. The Walking Dead, AMC, 8.28 million
  11. The Big Bang Theory (Thursday, 8 p.m.), CBS, 7.91 million
  12. NCIS, CBS, 7.2 million
  13. Young Sheldon, CBS, 7.04 million
  14. Pyeongchang Gold, NBC, 6.98 million
  15. The Big Bang Theory (Thursday, 9 p.m.), CBS, 6.36 million
  16. The Bachelor, ABC, 6.29 million
  17. A.P. Bio, NBC, 5.89 million
  18. Big Brother (Wednesday), CBS, 5.54 million
  19. Bull, CBS, 5.48 million
  20. NCIS: New Orleans, CBS, 5.31 million


Find these audio files on the PRO AUDIO PAGE.

KIMMEL’S A CRYER: Jimmy Kimmel admits he’s a cryer and shared with Ellen an embarrassing story from when he was a wedding DJ. A good clip to set up the story about your most embarrassing story… and a phoner.

BLANKET CLAIMS: This is crazy. Something called The Infinity Blanket claims it will increase your blood flow and energy, aid in recovery, and enhance rest. • VIDEO

DROP: That was terrible, I mean seriously terrible.




A study done at UCLA a few years ago revealed that performance in a job interview was based on 7% of the words used, 38% on voice quality and 55% on nonverbal communication. Here are the nonverbal pitfalls to watch for:

• The handshake — Make sure it’s firm, not damp and limp.

• Your posture — Stand erect. Do not slouch!

• Eye contact — Don’t dart your beady little eyes around the room. Get some eye contact going, but don’t stare, you psycho.

• Your hands — Don’t get carried away with hand gestures.

• Don’t fidget — There’s nothing worse than someone clicking a pen top, tapping a foot unconsciously or touching parts of their body.


It isn’t easy to be a waiter or a waitress. Here are the top complaints:

• Customer campers. The 20% tip (hopefully) you’re going to leave isn’t a down payment on a lease. It’s OK to chill a bit after your meal but camping longer than ten or 15 minutes means your server is losing money. If you do need to stick around order a fresh drink and leave an even heftier tip.

• Customers who don’t pay attention. This covers everything from the announcement of the specials to smartphones. If you say “yes” to hearing the specials, look your server in the eyes so they don’t have to repeat it. And after they leave the table stay off your phone for a bit — at least until you have your menu item picked out.

• Customers who expect waiters to be babysitters. It’s great that you want to spend time out with your kids, but not if they haven’t learned basic table manners.

• Customers who blame the server for something the kitchen did. If you’re not happy with something you ordered, it’s your right to send it back. But please be kind to your server — after all, they had nothing to do with cooking it. Just politely explain your problem.

• Customers who don’t tip. Most wait staff get paid below minimum wage. Yet they’re taxed at minimum wage rates. So if they don’t work hard to make at least 15% in tips, waiters actually LOSE money. So it’s one thing if the service is bad, but if you can’t reward good service with a good tip — because you don’t have enough money — then why are you eating out in the first place?


TRIVIA: Your daughter brings home her new boyfriend, who’s a brontologist. What’s he do for a living? (Studies thunder.)


Five questions. Each answer begins with the corresponding letter in the word BINGO.

• Something you celebrate once a year. (Birthday)

• Another word for being sick. (Ill)

• A short session of sleep. (Nap)

• A guy’s name and a city in Indiana. (Gary)

• A school you send a dog to. (Obedience)


Here’s a man chasing after a runaway trailer.


This is day 60 of 2018. There are 305 days remaining.


• Harry Belafonte is 91

• Robert Conrad (The Wild, Wild West) is 83

• Roger Daltrey of The Who is 74

• Dirk Benedict (The A Team) is 73

• Ron Howard is 64

• Catherine Bach (The Dukes of Hazzard) is 63

• Tim Daly (Madam Secretary, Private Practice) is 62

• George Eads (CSI) is 51

• Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men, Skyfall) is 49

• Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Pitch, Saved by the Bell) is 44

• Lupita Nyong’o (Black Panther, Oscar for 12 Years a Slave) is 35

• Kesha is 31

• Justin Bieber is 24


• 1912: Albert Berry made the first parachute jump from a moving airplane.

• 1961: President of the United States John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps.

• 1997: The state of Arizona approved a proposal to install divorce vending machines to cope with the high demand for divorces.

• 2000: A fan of veteran hard rockers AC/DC paid $28,100 for a music lesson from the group’s lead guitarist, Angus Young. Wade Sickler of Washington state made the winning bid in an online charity auction.

• 2004: Terry Nichols was convicted of state murder charges and being an accomplice to Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh.

• 2015: Astronauts at the International Space Station completed a tricky cable installation project to prepare for addition of docking ports.


• March is Music In Our Schools Month, National Caffeine Awareness Month, Sing With Your Child Month, National Craft Month, Employee Spirit Month, National Noodle Month, National Peanut Month, National Sauce Month, National Caffeine Awareness Month, National Eye Donor Month, National Celery Month, National Flour Month, National Frozen Food Month, National Nutrition Month, National On-Hold Month, National Umbrella Month, Red Cross Month, Optimism Month, Irish-American Heritage Month, Woman’s History Month, Youth Art Month,

• Peanut Lovers Day

• Peanut Butter Lovers Day

• Peace Corps Day

• Pig Day

• Plan a Solo Vacation Day

• World Book Day

• World Compliment Day

• Zero Discrimination Day


• March 4: Academy Awards
• March 8: Winter Paralympics begin
• March 8: International Women’s Day
• March 9: SXSW begins
• March 11: Daylight Saving Time begins
• March 11: NCAA basketball “Selection Sunday”
• March 13: March Madness begins
• March 29: MLB opening day
• March 30: Passover and Good Friday
• April 1: Easter
• April 13: Friday the 13th
• April 15: Tax deadline day
• April 15: Academy of Country Music Awards
• April 20: 4/20
• April 22: Earth Day
• April 28: White House Correspondents Dinner
• May 4: Star Wars Day – May the Fourth be with you
• May 5: Cinco de Mayo
• May 13: Mother’s Day
• May 19: The royal wedding