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DATEBOOK: MAY 21, 2018

This is day 141 of 2018. There are 224 days remaining.


• Ron Isley of the Isley Brothers is 77

• Leo Sayer is 70

• Former Senator Al Franken is 67

• Mr. T is 66

• Judge Reinhold is 61

• Lisa Edelstein (House) of 52

• Sarah Ramos (Parenthood, American Dreams) is 27


• 1819: The first bicycles, imported from England, appeared on the streets of New York City. Within a month, the city banned the new-fangled machines as being hazardous to public safety.

• 1881: The American Red Cross was established by Clara Barton.

• 1927: Charles Lindbergh touched down at Le Bourget Field in Paris, completing the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean.

• 1932: Amelia Earhart, because of bad weather, landed in a pasture in Derry, Northern Ireland, becoming the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

• 1945: Screen legend Humphrey Bogart married actress Lauren Bacall.

• 1956: The United States exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb, over Bikini Atoll in the Pacific.

• 1998: A Fullerton, California, man finally paid off his 1958 divorce with a check for $180 to his attorney. The 70-year-old client said he always intended to pay the bill, but with six kids and health problems, it took him 40 years to get caught up.

• 1999: Susan Lucci, star of the ABC soap opera All My Children, won her first Daytime Emmy Award for best actress in the 19th straight year she was nominated.


• National Safe Boating Week

• EMS (Emergency Medical Services) Week

• Unicycle Week

• Backyard Games Week

• National Wait Staff Day

• Strawberries and Cream Day


• May 27: National Spelling Bee Week starts
• May 28: Memorial Day
• May 29: Starbucks closes its stores for the afternoon for racial bias training
• June 1: Atlantic hurricane season begins
• June 1: National Donut Day
• June 10: Tony Awards
• June 14: World Cup begins
• June 14: US Open (golf) begins
• July 4: Independence Day (Wednesday)
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)


19: Percentage of us who check for and maintain correct tire pressure on our vehicles.


Jennifer Aniston will star in a new TV comedy series as America’s first lesbian president. [If you don’t count Grover Cleveland.]

Bloomberg reports on a restaurant trend where fewer establishments now place salt shakers on the table. [It’s one less thing that nervous superstitious people have to worry about spilling on their first date.]

Toymaker Hasbro has trademarked the scent of Play-Doh. [It’s the number one perfume of preschool teachers.]

The FDA has approved the first drug that can reduce the frequency of migraines. [It works by blocking your brain’s ability to process the daily news.]

Donald Trump welcomed Melania home from the hospital with a tweet that misspelled her name. [In all fairness, it’s the first time he’s had to write her name since the day he drew up her pre-nup and non-disclosure agreement.]

Researchers (University of Louisville) found that children who snore are more likely to have problems with learning and behavior than those who sleep soundly through the night. They think the problems in snoring children may be due to sleep disturbances and occasional lack of oxygen from the snoring. [On the other hand, problems in adults who snore are usually caused by their spouse attempting to smother them with a pillow.]

A woman aboard a flight to Florida says a fellow passenger punched her in the stomach and hit her service dog. The woman is deaf and five months pregnant. But no one was arrested. [That’s why I never fly MMA Airlines.]

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got married Saturday. [They promised to remain with each other for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, in Laurel or in Yanny.]

Oprah attended the royal wedding. [It marked one of the few times that the Queen of England has ever been outranked.]

Melania Trump didn’t attend the royal wedding. [But her hat did.]

There’s an actual debate in the scientific community about whether octopuses are alien life forms. [I have that same argument with my wife over The Real Housewives.]


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN CHOKED ON A PORK RIND _ An Arkansas woman blacked out at the wheel after choking on a pork rind. The woman was eating the rinds while driving when one lodged in her throat. She lost control of her car and it slammed into four tombstones and a tree. Damage to the car was $4,000.

Does she get charged with DUIPR — Driving Under the Influence of Pork Rinds?

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN CONFESSES TO MULTIPLE CRIMES _ Stereo store technicians installing a car stereo in Utah found a bag of marijuana in the customer’s car and called the police. An officer confronted the car’s owner and asked if he knew why he was called. The car owner said, “It’s about the bicycle I just stole, isn’t it?” The officer knew he was on to something, so he said, “Yes, that. And?” The owner of the car replied, “And it’s about the marijuana pipe I have in my truck, right?” The officer replied, “Yes, that. And?” The man said he couldn’t think of anything else, so the officer reminded him about the pot in the car and cited him for all three crimes.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COP NICKNAMED STEEL FOREHEAD _ A Brazilian policeman was given the nickname “Steel Forehead” after he survived being shot in the head at close range. The officer was trying to make an arrest when he was shot from less than five feet. Medical experts couldn’t explain why the bullet ended up trapped between his skin and his skull but did not damage the bone.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TRACTOR DEMO DERBY _ Two farmers in Germany destroyed their tractors after repeatedly smashing into each other in a head-on duel over a potato field that both thought was theirs to farm on. No one was hurt in the impromptu tractor demolition derby, but both machines were destroyed.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY OFFERS TO BUY M&Ms WITH POT _ In New Zealand, a guy went to a service station to buy a couple of packs of M&Ms. But when he got to the counter he found he didn’t have enough cash. That’s when he had the bright idea to offer payment with… marijuana. Too bad a nearby police officer overheard his proposal.



THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — New. On the first night of the season finale, the final four perform a solo cover, a duet with their coach, and his or her first original song.


2018 MISS USA (8p ET, FOX) — Vanessa and Nick Lachey host.

SUPERGIRL (8p ET, CW) — New. A disciple of Coville’s gives Kara and James a journal that could hold the key to saving Sam.

SEASON FINALE: MAN WITH A PLAN (8:30p ET, CBS) — New. Andi proposes an idea for her and Adam to go into business together. The show has been renewed for another season.

SEASON FINALE: AMERICAN IDOL (9p ET, ABC) — The winner is announced in the 2-hour finale. The finale will feature performances from all three judges (Katy Perry, Lionel Richie, and Luke Bryan), along with Bebe Rexha, Nick Jonas and Mustard, Patti Labelle, Darius Rucker, Gary Clark, Jr. and Yolanda Adams. Kermit the Frog is also set to appear. And the top 10 finalists will take the stage as well. Idol has been renewed for another season.


IZOMBIE (9p ET, CW) — New.

SEASON PREMIERE: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (9p ET, TLC) — Jon Cryer is featured in the season premiere, and his journey takes him from America to Scotland as he uncovers the dramatic tale of an ancestor who was forced to come to America as an indentured servant.

MOM (9:30p ET, CBS) — Repeat

ELEMENTARY (10p ET, CBS) — New. Watson and Holmes investigate the murder of her former psychologist.

RUNNING WILD WITH BEAR GRYLLS (10p ET, NBC) — New. Game of Thrones star Lena Headey and Bear journey through Spain’s Iberian Peninsula.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (10p ET, TLC) — In the second new episode tonight, actress and activist Laverne Cox discovers the inspiring life of her African American ancestor.



We’re trying to plan our vacation for this Summer. We have a tight budget, and we’re running out of relatives we can sponge off of.

Well, I’m here this morning, ready to put a smile on your face. You know what that means… $50 in Powerball tickets down the toilet.


  1. Deadpool 2, $125 million
  2. Avengers: Infinity War, $28.6 million
  3. Book Club, $12.5 million
  4. Life of the Party, $7.7 million
  5. Breaking In, $6.4 million
  6. Show Dogs, $6 million
  7. Overboard, $4.7 million
  8. A Quiet Place, $4 million
  9. Rampage, $1.5 million
  10. RBG, $1.2 million

… One year ago this week the number one movie was Alien: Covenant.
… Five years ago this week the number one movie was Star Trek Into Darkness.
… Ten years ago this week the number one movie was The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.
… Twenty years ago this week the number one movie was Deep Impact.

… In theaters Friday: Solo: A Star Wars Story (PG-13)


Summer vacation begins soon. I want to make sure you’re prepared for what’s going to happen for the next three months, so here’s our Summer Vacation Quiz:

During Summer vacation, America’s kids:

  • switch from the rigors of education to the joys of Summer camp;
  • obtain career experience through Summer jobs or internships;
  • lay around the house eating Cheetos and playing Fortnite.

Over Summer Vacation, many kids sign up for Summer Reading programs at the library, where they can:

  • study subjects that they’ll be taking in the next academic year;
  • enjoy some literary treasures in a relaxed atmosphere;
  • run up overdue library fines.

Summer vacation presents kids with a chance to get away for some fun at [NEARBY THEME PARK], where they can:

  • enjoy some thrills and excitement;
  • spend some quality time with their parents;
  • spend more money than they will during their freshman year of college.

And throughout the Summer, parents will be:

  • spending lots of time with their kids;
  • coming up with fun activities for the family to enjoy;
  • praying they don’t go nuts before the next school year begins.


This is an actual excerpt from Transportation Magazine written for male supervisors in 1943 on how to handle women in the workplace.

• Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

• When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclines to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

• General experience indicates that “husky” girls are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

• Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

• Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

• Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

• Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

• Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

• Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman — it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

• Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

• Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.


Courtesy of morning show talent coach Steve Reynolds. The Hot List is made up of the topics everyone knows about.

  1. The Royal Wedding
  2. Graduations
  3. Deadpool 2
  4. Memorial Day
  5. Yanni vs. Laurel
  6. Hawaii Volcano
  7. NBA Playoffs
  8. The Preakness
  9. Billboard Music Awards
  10. Jack Osbourne
  11. Cannes
  12. John McCain


TRIVIA: At the peak of its popularity, there were over 1.5 billion of these in circulation. (Beanie Babies)

TRIVIA: Thanks to you, 300 million of these die every second. (Cells in your own body. It’s okay, though, because new ones are formed.)

TRIVIA: While the actual event took 2 hours 40 minutes, the movie about this event lasted 3 hours 14 minutes. Name the event. (The sinking of the Titanic. The 1997 movie is what was 3 hours 14 minutes.)

5 IN 10

In ten seconds, name five things you’d find in an aquarium.


Today (5/21) is National Waitstaff Day. Get a caller on the line and give ’em the Waiter/Waitress Test. Rattle off an order and ask them to repeat as much as they can remember. (They win no matter what.)

Sample script: “I want the Deluxe Cheeseburger, hold the onions, give me extra pickles. I want fries on the side with melted cheese on the side of that. I want a large iced tea, unsweetened, with three lemon slices on the side. For desert bring me the double-layered chocolate pie with a side of milk.

DATEBOOK: MAY 22, 2018

This is day 142 of 2018. There are 223 days remaining.


• Bernie Taupin is 68

• Michael Kelly (House of Cards) is 49

• Model Naomi Campbell is 48

• Sean Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy, Gilmore Girls) is 44

• Ginnifer Goodwin (Once Upon a Time) is 40

• Maggie Q (Insurgent, Divergent) is 39


• 1843: Thousands of people and their cattle headed west via wagon train from Independence, Missouri, to what would later become the Oregon Territory. It was part of the Great Migration. They followed what is now known as the Oregon Trail.

• 1931: The first canned rattlesnake meat was sold, in Arcadia, Florida.

• 1906: The Wright brothers were granted U.S. patent number 821,393 for their “Flying-Machine”.

• 1967: “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” premiered on PBS, featuring Rev. Fred Rogers, a Presbyterian minister from Pittsburgh. It’s public television’s longest running children’s program.

• 1986: Sylvester Stallone signed a 10-picture, six-year deal with United Artists for a reported $15 million per film, making him at the time the richest actor in Hollywood.

• 1992: After 30 years, 66-year-old Johnny Carson hosted The Tonight Show for the last time.

• 2003: In Fort Worth, Texas, Annika Sörenstam became the first woman to play the PGA Tour in 58 years.

• 2004: Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, a scathing documentary about White House actions after the September 11th terrorist attacks, won first prize at the Cannes Film Festival.

• 2015: Construction workers discovered an unexploded bomb from World War II near Wembley Stadium in London.


• National Maritime Day

• Buy A Musical Instrument Day

• Sherlock Holmes Day

• World Goth Day

• Vanilla Pudding Day


• May 27: National Spelling Bee Week starts
• May 28: Memorial Day
• May 29: Starbucks closes its stores for the afternoon for racial bias training
• June 1: Atlantic hurricane season begins
• June 1: National Donut Day
• June 10: Tony Awards
• June 14: World Cup begins
• June 14: US Open (golf) begins
• July 4: Independence Day (Wednesday)
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)