INTERPREP ★ MAY 23, 2018

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DATEBOOK: MAY 23, 2018

This is day 143 of 2018. There are 222 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Joan Collins is 85

• Charles Kimbrough (Murphy Brown) is 82

• Former boxer Marvelous Marvin Hagler is 64

• Drew Carey (The Price Is Right) is 60

• Lea DeLaria (Orange Is the New Black) is 60

• Karen Duffy (model, actress, author) is 57

• Melissa McBride (Carol on The Walking Dead) is 53

• Jewel is 44

• Tim Robinson (Saturday Night Live) is 37

• Director Ryan Coogler (Black Panther) is 32

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1873: The Canadian Parliament established the North West Mounted Police, the forerunner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

• 1877: Grace Ingalls was born in Burr Oak, Iowa. Six months later, the Ingalls family returned to Walnut Grove, Minnesota. Grace’s sister, Laura, made the Ingalls famous with her “Little House” book series.

• 1929: The first talking cartoon of Mickey Mouse, The Karnival Kid, was released.

• 1933: Legendary American racehorse Seabiscuit was born

• 1934: Bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde were ambushed by police and killed in Black Lake, Louisiana.

• 1962: The NBA agreed to allow the Philadelphia Warriors to become the San Francisco Warriors. Later, they became the Golden State Warriors.

• 1984: The Surgeon General reported that smokers can inflict lung damage on non-smokers who inhale second-hand smoke.

• 1995: Thieves in Kenilworth, England, broke into a discount store and made off with 60 tubes of toothpaste.

• 2006: Then Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton got her first iPod. She called her taste in music a “total smorgasbord” with about 1,000 songs on her device, including Motown tunes, classical music and the Rolling Stones.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Taffy Day

• World Turtle Day

UPCOMING

• May 27: National Spelling Bee Week starts
• May 28: Memorial Day
• May 29: Starbucks closes its stores for the afternoon for racial bias training
• June 1: Atlantic hurricane season begins
• June 1: National Donut Day
• June 10: Tony Awards
• June 14: World Cup begins
• June 14: US Open (golf) begins
• July 4: Independence Day (Wednesday)
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)


NUMBER FOR THE DAY

43,000: Average daily flights handled by the FAA each year.


NEWS ATTACK!

Silence of the Lambs star Anthony Hopkins told an interviewer that he neither knows nor cares if he has grandchildren. [Hopkins said that he’s much too busy working on his next film project where he plays both Scrooge and the Grinch.]

Next week the government of Sweden will distribute information to all its citizens that tells them what they need to do to prepare for crisis and war. [In America, we just refer to it as the kids being home for summer.]

According to a new study, only 4% of the mammals on this planet are wild. Only 4%. All others are domesticated. [That’s exactly the opposite percentage ratio of my family members.]

Astronomers have discovered an asteroid orbiting the sun in reverse. [That’s terrible. That means that if you lived there, you would know all the movie’s spoilers before the movie even began.]

The U.S. Postal Service announced that next month it will release its first series of scratch-and-sniff stamps. [My favorite is Wet Puppy.]

When a Michigan car owner picked up her car from the lot where it had been towed, she found a body in the trunk. [You can imagine how upset she was. The tow company charged for the extra weight.]

A researcher has found that smokers are more likely to kick the habit if a spouse, friend, co-worker or sibling did. [Apparently it’s not easy being stinky on your own.]

Soccer great Brandi Chastain was elected to the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame but her commemorative bust isn’t getting any love. Fans hate it and say it bears no resemblance to the attractive athlete. [In fact, it looks more like Babe Ruth in a sports bra.]

A Connecticut woman heard noises the other night and discovered that a full-grown bear had gotten into her car. [He trashed the interior but even worse, he adjusted the driver’s seat.

A short circuit unlocked the cells at a South Carolina jail. [As a result, inmates will no longer be allowed to have dorm refrigerators.]

Fortune released its annual list of the nation’s top 500 companies based on sales. Topping the list again this year is Walmart, followed by Exxon Mobil [and then Yankee Candle].


WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PANTY THIEF CAUGHT BIKING AWAY _ A Minnesota man was arrested on charges of stealing panties from a woman’s apartment. The man admits to a panty fetish which he says started when he was eight. He was arrested biking away from a woman’s apartment with a sack full of panties.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MICROWAVE MISHAP _ An Argentinean women’s magazine had to publish an apology after issuing advice which led more than 100 microwave ovens to explode. An article in the magazine said women could restore old bottles of nail polish by putting them in a microwave for three minutes. The magazine received more than 100 complaints from women saying the chemical reaction caused their microwaves to explode.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: HOW NOT TO DISPOSE OF GUNPOWDER _ A Delaware man was cleaning out his attic and decided to get rid of some extra gunpowder he had stored up there. But instead of wrapping it up and tossing it out with the trash, the man decided to dispose of the gunpowder by throwing it in his fireplace — while the fire was burning. Boom. The house sustained only minimal damage, but the man suffered burns to his face, neck, and arms.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COUPLE TAKE WRONG TURN, DRIVE UP NEXT TO JET _ An elderly couple accidentally triggered a security incident at a British airport when they took a wrong turn, drove through an open gate and ended up parked next to a passenger jet.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN PUTS VIDEOS OF HIS CRIMES ONLINE _ A British man posted dozens of videos on social media of himself committing various misdemeanors. The 23-year-old posted videos of himself and others taking drugs, racing cars at high speeds and trespassing.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WILDLIFE HELP CAPTURE THIEF _ Some wildlife stopped a suspected car thief’s getaway in Germany. Police say an 18-year-old abandoned a stolen SUV after failing to shake off a chasing patrol car by driving into a field. The driver initially got away by running into nearby woods. Officers then heard the fugitive shouting for help — he had run into a herd of angry wild boars that were trying to protect their young. Police freed the man from the boars and took him into custody.


ON TELEVISION

SEASON FINALE: SURVIVOR: GHOST ISLAND (8p ET, CBS) — The 2-hour finale is followed by the reunion show.

LAW & ORDER: SVU (8p ET, NBC) — Repeat

TOY STORY 3 (8p ET, ABC) — ABC presents this 2010 film

SEASON FINALE: EMPIRE (8p ET, FOX) — New. Lucious must make a difficult decision to save the company. Empire has been renewed for another season.

SUPERGIRL (8p ET, CW) — Repeat

SEASON FINALE: LAW & ORDER: SVU (9p ET, NBC) — In the 2-hour finale, Benson’s suspicions about a kidnapping victim (guest star Carlos Miranda) uncovers a dangerous criminal network. SVU has been renewed for a 20th season, tying the record for longest-running drama series, held jointly by Law & Order and Gunsmoke.

SEASON FINALE: STAR (9p ET, FOX) — New. Take 3’s future as a group is at risk. Star has been renewed for another season.

THE ORIGINALS (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

20/20 (10p ET, ABC) — This new edition gives a behind-the-scenes look at upcoming summer blockbuster films.


BITS & BREAKS

JOCK LINE

If you see (jock) wearing one of those fire-retardant suits that auto racers wear, it’s not because he’s an auto racer. After that incident last year, he wears it every time he lights his barbecue.

TRAVEL AGENTS SHARE DUMB THINGS THEIR CLIENTS HAVE SAID

2,300 travel agents were asked to share some of the silly, dumb or sad things their clients have said.

• A client called inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the costs she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

• A personal assistant called in looking for hotels in Los Angeles. She gave the  agent various names off a list, none of which the agent could find. Finally the agent had the client email her the list. It was a list of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana. Apparently, the personal assistant thought the L.A. stood for Los Angeles, and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A.

• A man called a travel agent furious about a Florida package. When the agent asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando, the customer said he was expecting an ocean-view room. The agent tried to explain that an ocean-view room wasn’t possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. And the customer replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

• A woman called a travel agent and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” The agent said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?” The agent then explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

•  A woman called a travel agent and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola.” The agent finally figured out that she wanted to get to Pensacola, Florida.

HOW TO OBSERVE MEMORIAL DAY

Memorial Day was born out of the horror of the Civil War, when more than 600,000 soldiers — Union and Confederate — fell in battle. Over the years it’s become a day to honor all the men and women who have given their lives in the cause of freedom. How can you observe Memorial Day?

• Fly the American flag at half-staff, until noon.

• Travel to Washington. Tour some of the city’s many memorials to fallen heroes, and attend the always-poignant ceremonies at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery.

• Take in the National Memorial Day Concert on the west lawn of the U.S. Capitol. If you can’t make it in person, tune into the PBS broadcast of the performance by the National Symphony Orchestra and a crew of special guest artists.

• Join in the observances at a military base or cemetery near you. Check social media, or call the closest military base, American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars post to find out what’s happening and when.

• Remember those who fought and lived to tell about it: Take some flowers, books or cookies to a nearby veterans’ hospital.

• Continue a classic tradition: Put flowers and flags on the graves of departed friends and family ‘ civilian as well as military. If you live far away from the final resting place of anyone you knew, decorate the grave of a stranger.

• Have your annual beginning-of-summer barbecue, or spend the three-day weekend at your favorite getaway spot, but take a little time out from fun and games to reflect on the day’s real meaning and the fact that freedom isn’t free.


FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: It is believed that the first one of these on an airplane happened on October 11, 1919. (In-flight meal)

TRIVIA: The U.S. has just over 38,000 of these. For comparison, India has over 152,000. (Post offices)

WHAT’S IN COMMON

• Hard, clay, grass (Tennis courts)

• Consumer Reports, People, Reader’s Digest (Magazines)

• Checks, stamps, bad TV shows (They’re cancelled)

• Surpise, search, slumber (Parties)

• Hugh Jackman, Robert Downey Jr., Ben Affleck (They’ve played superheroes)

TIME COP

It’s time for you to play time cop and catch which of the following events did NOT happen in 2005:

• Pope John Paul II died. Benedict XVI became the next pope.

• The Chicago White Sox won the World Series

• Brokeback Mountain was in theaters.

• Saddam Hussein was captured by American troops. (2003)


DATEBOOK: MAY 24, 2018

This is day 144 of 2018. There are 221 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong is 80

• Bob Dylan is 77

• Gary Burghoff (M.A.S.H.) is 75

• Patti LaBelle is 74

• Priscilla Presley is 73

• Alfred Molina is 65

• Kristin Scott Thomas is 58

• John C. Reilly (Talladega Nights, Chicago, ) is 53

• Eric Close (Nashville, Without a Trace) is 51

• Dancer Mark Ballas (Dancing With the Stars) is 32

• War hero Monica Lin Brown is 30. The first woman during the War in Afghanistan and only the second woman since World War II to receive the Silver Star, the United States’ third-highest medal for valor.

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1830: Mary had a little lamb by Sarah Hale was published.

• 1844: Samuel F. B. Morse sent the message “What hath God wrought” from the Supreme Court room in Washington, D.C. to his assistant, Alfred Vail, in Baltimore, Maryland.

• 1930: Amy Johnson lands in Darwin, Northern Territory, becoming the first woman to fly from England to Australia. She left on May 5 for the 11,000 mile flight.

• 1935: At Crosley Field in Cincinnati, Ohio, the Cincinnati Reds defeated the Philadelphia Phillies by a score of 2-1 as more than 20,000 fans enjoyed the first night baseball game in the major leagues.

• 1999: Boxer Mike Tyson was released from a Rockville, Maryland, jail after serving 3½ months behind bars for assaulting two motorists after a fender-bender.

• 2003: A 44-year-old drunk driver in The Netherlands stunned police when he crashed the breathalyzer test unit. A later blood test showed the man had seven times too much alcohol in his bloodstream.

• 2007: Britain’s postal department announced it would issue a series of seven stamps depicting the covers of the best-selling Harry Potter books.

• 2014: Reality star Kim Kardashian and rapper Kanye West were married in Florence, Italy, about 7 months after the birth of their daughter, North West.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Aviation Maintenance Technician Day

• Brother’s Day

• Deb Day, one of the few personal name days on the calendar. Celebrate anyone named Deb, Debbie, Deborah, etc.

• Eat More Fruits & Vegetables Day

• Morse Code Day

• Escargot Day

UPCOMING

• May 27: National Spelling Bee Week starts
• May 28: Memorial Day
• May 29: Starbucks closes its stores for the afternoon for racial bias training
• June 1: Atlantic hurricane season begins
• June 1: National Donut Day
• June 10: Tony Awards
• June 14: World Cup begins
• June 14: US Open (golf) begins
• July 4: Independence Day (Wednesday)
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)