INTERPREP ★ JULY 6, 2018

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

AudioBits & BreaksCountry PrepDatebookDatebook TomorrowEntertainmentFun & GamesNews & NuggetsNews AttackNumber for the DayTelevisionVideoWacky-But-TrueUSER’S GUIDE


DATEBOOK: JULY 6, 2018

BIRTHDAYS

• Ned Beatty is 81

• Burt Ward (Batman) is 73

• Sylvester Stallone is 72

• Allyce Beasley (Moonlighting) is 67

• Geoffrey Rush is 67

• Pip Torrens (The Crown) is 58

• Rapper 50 Cent is 43

• Kevin Hart is 39

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1785: The dollar was unanimously chosen as the monetary unit for the United States.

• 1854: The first official meeting of the Republican Party took place in Jackson, Michigan.

• 1933: Baseball’s first All-Star game was held at Chicago’s Comiskey Park. The American League beat the National League 4-2.

• 1942: Anne Frank and her family went into hiding in the “Secret Annexe” above her father’s office in an Amsterdam warehouse.

• 1955: America’s first seat belt law was signed, in Illinois.

• 1957: Teenagers John Lennon and Paul McCartney met for the first time at a church in Liverpool, England, following a performance by Lennon’s band, the Quarrymen.

• 1997: The rover Sojourner rolled down a ramp from the Mars Pathfinder lander onto the Martian landscape to begin inspecting soil and rocks.

• 2010: Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in a residential substance-abuse program for violating her probation stemming from two separate 2007 cases of driving under the influence of cocaine and alcohol. (She served 14 days behind bars.)

• 2014: The state of Washington legalized recreational marijuana, becoming the second U.S. state to do so after Colorado.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Fried Chicken Day

• International Kissing Day, aka World Kiss Day

• Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day

UPCOMING

• July 7: Running of the Bulls (July 7-14)
• July 7: Tour de France begins (July 7-29)
• July 15: World Cup Final
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 6: New York Fashion Weeks begins
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)
• November 4: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 22: Thanksgiving
• November 23: Black Friday
• November 24: Small Business Saturday
• November 26: Cyber Monday
• November 27: Giving Tuesday


DATEBOOK WEEKEND

SATURDAY, JULY 7

• Doc Severinsen is 91. Ringo Starr is 78. Shelley Duvall is 69. Jim Gaffigan is 52. Jorja Fox is 50. Country singer Maddie Marlow of Maddie and Tae is 23.

• Running of the Bulls begins (July 7-14). Tour de France begins (July 7-29). Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day. Global Forgiveness Day. Tell The Truth Day. Chocolate Day. Strawberry Sundae Day.

SUNDAY, JULY 8

• Steve Lawrence is 83. Jeffrey Tambor is 74. Anjelica Huston is 67. Kevin Bacon is 60. Country singer Toby Keith is 57. Billy Crudup is 50. Beck is 48. Milo Ventimiglia is 41. Sophia Bush is 36. Jaden Smith is 20.

• Coca Cola Day. Body Painting Day. Blueberry Day. Video Games Day.


NUMBER FOR THE DAY

0 (zero): American deaths by a tornado in May or June. This hasn’t happened since 2005. As of today there have been around 600 reports of tornadoes this year. Generally about 1,000 tornadoes hit the U.S. in the first six months of the year.


NEWS ATTACK!

Scott Pruitt has resigned as head of the EPA. [He said that he wanted to spend more time with the family, teaching the grandkids how to plant a garden and then pave over it.]

A New Jersey woman confessed to unsuccessfully trying to poison her grandmother by putting antifreeze in her juice. [There has to be a better way of solving a dispute if you’re tired of having to watch The Price is Right.]

A 19-year-old with a revoked license flipped his car in Madison, Wisconsin then pretended that he just happened to be near the crash site because he was getting some exercise. He told the police that he was an “uninvolved jogger.” Tests showed that he was not under the influence of any substance. [That just makes his story even sadder when you realize that he came up with his terrible little alibi while completely sober.]

The new comedy movie Sorry to Bother You (limited release) is getting great reviews. It’s set in the world of telemarketers. [The movie will only be shown around dinner time.]

Chris Brown spent over $350,000 on a bulletproof SUV. [But now that everyone knows about it, won’t they just wait until he gets out of the SUV?]

Chris Brown spent over $350,000 on a bulletproof SUV. [It gets negative three miles to the gallon.]

Ariana Grande’s family is worried about her engagement to Saturday Night Live comedian Pete Davidson. [They don’t consider him financially responsible because he only works one day a week.]

In South Africa, a gang of poachers sneaked into a game preserve to illegally hunt rhino but were eaten by lions. [Authorities began investigating after several tourists reported seeing lions wearing boots and hunting jackets.]

A Minnesota teenager, who has only had his license for a few weeks, drove straight into a chasm in the road, leaving his car completely vertical. Fortunately, he wasn’t injured. [They don’t teach you in driver’s ed class that sometimes you have to take an alternate route no matter what your GPS says.]


NEWS & NUGGETS

HALF OF AMERICAN EMPLOYEES ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB _ Nearly every job has its drawbacks, but for more than half of U.S. employees, their current work situation just isn’t cutting it. A new Gallup poll found that 51 percent of workers in the country are keeping an eye out for job openings or actively searching for new positions. According to Gallup’s latest “State of the American Workplace” report, 68 percent of workers say they’re overqualified for the job they have. And even if they aren’t looking to switch jobs right away, that doesn’t mean they’re thrilled with their present situation: Only 33 percent of employees reported feeling engaged at work.

PARENTS’ USE OF PHONES DRIVES BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS WITH KIDS _ Parents, if your child has behavior problems it could be because of smartphone use — your smartphone use. Research involving almost 200 families found that children whose parents were addicted to their phones were significantly more likely to have behavior problems. In the study, 40% of the mothers and 32% of the fathers admitted some form of phone addiction. This led to what the researchers call “technoference” in their relationships with their children where their everyday interactions were interrupted by digital or mobile devices whether during face-to-face conversations or at meal or play times.

… The researchers found poor behavior in the children was more closely linked to their mothers’ phone usage rather than the fathers’. This could be explained by the fact the children spent more time with their mothers who had fewer work commitments.

MOM SHOOTS MAN TRYING TO STEAL HER CAR WITH KIDS INSIDE AUDIO  A quick stop at the gas station almost ended in a car theft and kidnapping in Dallas on Wednesday night, but a mother’s quick thinking and sharp aim with her gun saved her children and vehicle. When a man tried to steal her car with her 2- and 4-year-old children inside, the mother grabbed the gun out of her glove box and shot him in the head. The suspect survived, although the mother isn’t necessarily pleased with that outcome. She later told a Dallas TV station, “I should have just emptied the whole clip but I didn’t. I just wanted to give him a warning shot, that was it. I’m not a killer or anything like that, but I do believe in defending what’s mine.”

… When asked by the TV station if she had a message for the attempted carjacker, she replied: “I wish I would’ve killed you, if I didn’t already.”

MAN AT BUSCH GARDENS HIT BY JULY 4 CELEBRATORY GUNFIRE _ A man who was visiting Busch Gardens in Florida was hit by celebratory gunfire on the Fourth of July. Police say the man (Scott Deel) was walking at Busch Gardens with his wife when he felt a sudden pain to his left shoulder. His wife noticed he was bleeding, so they went to the Busch Gardens first aid center. A Tampa police officer responded and said the man appeared to have a bullet wound in his left shoulder, just above his shoulder blade. The officer said the bullet appeared to have come from behind and moved downward. It appeared to be celebratory gunfire. His injury happened at the same time that fireworks were being set off in the neighborhood surrounding Busch Gardens.

FLORIDA MAN LOSES FINGERS, EYEBROWS IN FIREWORKS FAIL _ A Florida (Brevard County) man’s fingers were blown off Tuesday night in a fireworks mishap. According to a friend, the victim’s fingers have been frozen at the hospital, where doctors will attempt to reattach them. The friend said the man’s hand was “demolished”. The victim also lost his eyebrows and his hearing was damaged by the sound of the explosion.

OTHER HALF OF BOURBON WAREHOUSE IS DOWN _ It was only a matter of time that the remaining half of a Kentucky bourbon warehouse which collapsed two weeks ago would come crashing down. The second half collapsed Thursday, sending another 9,000 barrels of liquor crashing down along with it. The Barton 1792 Distillery in Kentucky, which can store up to 20,000 barrels, was undergoing repairs at the time of the first incident back in June. Barrels from that collapse still haven’t been cleaned up because of worker safety concerns.

… Each barrel contains about 53 gallons of liquor. After the first collapse, spilled bourbon contaminated two nearby creeks, killing almost 1,000 fish. This time, the runoff was contained. The company is looking to build a new warehouse with hopes of salvaging the barrels that are still intact.

RHINO POACHERS EATEN BY LIONS _ A wildlife reserve in South Africa says that a group of rhino poachers got eaten by a pride of lions after the poachers broke into the park. The owner of the Sibuya Game Reserve said that a staff member spotted human remains near a pride of six lions earlier this week. The following morning, a veterinarian used a dart gun to tranquilize the big cats, giving a police forensic unit and the reserve’s anti-poaching unit time to investigate.

… It was hard to tell but it’s thought at least three people were eaten.

THE IRISH GIANT’S WISH COULD BE GRANTED _ Charles Byrne was seven feet, seven inches tall and built a career on it, moving to England from his native Ireland to work as an exhibition in London. Prior to his death in 1793, he made a will stating he wanted his body placed in a lead casket and sunk in the sea, where it would be safe from researchers. Unfortunately, he had made “friends” with John Hunter, a surgeon. Byrne’s body was replaced in his coffin with a weight, and Hunter put Byrne’s skeleton on exhibition — where it remained until recently. Now the Hunterian Museum of the Royal College of Surgeons is being asked to put an end to Byrne’s 200-year postmortem career, and let his skeleton be buried.

COMING SOON: A POOL FLOAT SHAPED LIKE A COFFIN _ Some guy on Instagram has invented what could be next summer’s hot swimming pool or beach accessory. It’s a blow-up pool float shaped like a coffin. It’s large enough to lay in and even has a lid. The inventor had a sample made and will likely raise money on Kickstarter.

SLOT MACHINE SOUNDS MANIPULATE PLAYERS _ Whether you’re in Las Vegas, a small-town casino, or playing video poker at a local bar, the machines sound more or less the same: jangly music, the whir of spinning reels accompanied by loud beeps and chimes. And the reason is simple: researchers say those noises fool our brains into thinking that we have won — even when we have lost. The crazy sound effects are tied to wins and act as positive reinforcement even when we lose.

VIDEO GAME DIET _ If you’re looking to trim up for the beach, pick up a controller. A study found playing online video games can help you resist junk food. Here’s the key, though — you have to challenge yourself. Participants who took challenging computer-based quizzes craved junk food less than the slackers who did something easier. So the next time you want to inhale an entire box of Dunkin Donuts, Google a video game you never mastered and the craving will go away.

THE LONDON “FATBERG” GOES ON DISPLAY _ A giant glob of congealed fat, oil, and wet wipes found clogging London’s sewer has gone on display at the Museum of London. At least, a piece of it has: the thing was 820 feet long, and weighed an estimated 143 tons. Despite the fact that the museum display is now hatching flies and is changing colors, the exhibit has helped increase the number of visitors to the museum.

NO METAL DURING COLLEGE TESTS _ Security is so tight for China’s annual college-entrance exams that all metal objects are banned — even bras with metal clips. Students taking the notoriously intense test must first pass through metal detectors.

MOMS ALLEGEDLY LEFT THEIR KIDS IN A CAR SO THEY COULD GO SHOPLIFT _ Four young children were allegedly left in a hot car last weekend for more than an hour while their mothers were inside an East Hanover, New Jersey, department store shoplifting. Authorities discovered the kids — ages 11 months and 5, 6 and 7 years old — while questioning their mothers, Arlena T. Keye and Shaday H. Williams, both 27, for allegedly shoplifting from a Marshalls on Saturday. They allegedly stole $915 worth of goods from the store.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: WOMAN THREATENS TO JUMP OFF BUILDING AFTER RUNNING OUT OF DATA _ A woman in China was extremely distraught. So distraught she threatened to jump off a building. She was distraught because she had exceeded her monthly smartphone data limit. She didn’t jump. She went over her data limit because she had been watching soap operas on her phone, which ate up data.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SMOKER WEARS CAGE ON HEAD TO STOP HAVING CIGARETTE _ A 42-year-old Turkish who’d been smoking two packs of cigarettes since he was 16 was desperate to quit. His father died from lung cancer so he had to do something serious. So he created a helmet-like cage for his head and left the key to unlock it with his wife.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TEEN AFTER WRECK: I WAS AN UNINVOLVED JOGGER _ A 19-year-old with a revoked license flipped his car in Madison, Wisconsin… then pretended that he just happened to be near the crash site because he was getting some exercise. He told the police that he was an “uninvolved jogger.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOM AND DAD LEAVE BABY IN CAR FOR SEX TOYS _ A Wisconsin couple thought they had a good excuse for leaving their 9-month-old baby in a parked car: they wanted to buy sex toys and the store didn’t allow entrance to anyone under 18.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COME FOR TACOS, LEAVES WITH MONEY _ Apparently, a woman invited a man to her Michigan home to have some tacos. They ate the tacos and she went to give her neighbor some tacos. She returned and went to her purse and noticed $390 was missing. When she confronted the man, he denied taking the money and abruptly left. He was not arrested.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: CREDIT CARD THIEVES ARRESTED OVER ONE SODA _ A man and a woman had been outside a conveniences store in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada, for hours by the time they presented a credit card and tried to make a purchase. Asked to input his PIN, the man admitted it wasn’t his card, but claimed it was his girlfriend’s. Police were called. The man with the credit card threw the woman he was with at a cop. The woman fled to a back room and found her way into the ceiling, through which she then fell. The man and the woman were arrested. The owner of the convenience store says the couple were trying to buy just a can of soda with the stolen card.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: CAMERA DESIGNED TO CATCH GARBAGE DUMPERS TOSSED OUT _ In the UK, an expensive camera was placed inside a black bag beside a notorious illegal dumping site. It was set up to catch illegal garbage dumpers. The disguise was so good that workers picked up the bag believing it was genuine trash.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GAS THIEF LEAVES HIS NAME BEHIND _ A Florida man accused of drilling holes in gas tanks to steal gas slipped up when he left a drill behind that had his name etched on it.


ON TELEVISION

FRIDAY

UNDERCOVER BOSS: CELEBRITY EDITION (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat

QUANTICO (8p ET, ABC) — New.

AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR (8p ET, NBC) — Repeat

MASTERS OF ILLUSION (8p ET, CW) — New.

HAWAII FIVE O (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (9p ET, ABC) — New.

PENN & TELLER: FOOL US (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

SERIES FINALE: 12 MONKEYS (9p ET, Syfy) — The series ends with a 2-part finale.

BLUE BLOODS (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat

DATELINE (10p ET, NBC) — New.

20/20 (10p ET, ABC) — New.

COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE (Netflix) — Jerry Seinfeld returns for another season with guests Ellen DeGeneres, Alec Baldwin, Jerry Lewis, Dave Chappelle, Kate McKinnon and Dana Carvey.

SOMEBODY FEED PHIL (Netflix) — New episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond creator Phil Rosenthal’s food travelogue begin.

ANNE WITH AN E (Netflix) — Anne Shirley is back for a second season. Amybeth McNulty stars in this latest adaptation of the beloved children’s novel Anne of Green Gables.

SATURDAY

ME, MYSELF AND I (8p ET, CBS) — This now cancelled show burns off its remaining new episodes, with 2 airing tonight.

JUSTICE LEAGUE (8p ET, HBO) — Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill and Gal Gadot star in this 2017 superhero film.

LIVING BIBLICALLY (9p ET, CBS) — This now cancelled show burns off its remaining new episodes, with 2 airing tonight.

EARTH: ONE AMAZING DAY (9p ET, BBC America) — Filmed over a single 24-hour period, this 2017 nature documentary, narrated by Robert Redford, shows life around the globe.

MARSHALL (9p ET, Showtime) — Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) stars in this 2017 fact-based drama as Thurgood Marshall in his pre-Supreme Court days. Josh Gad, Kate Hudson, Dan Stevens, Sterling K. Brown and James Cromwell also star.

BILL MAHER: LIVE FROM OKLAHOMA (10p ET, HBO) — This new stand-up special finds the veteran comic and talk-show host bringing his trademark schtick to Tulsa’s Brady Theater.

SUNDAY

EVEL LIVE (8p ET, HISTORY) – American professional motorsports icon Travis Pastrana honors daredevil Evel Knievel by attempting three of his most dangerous feats in Las Vegas all while riding a modern-day recreation inspired by the motorcycle Knievel used.

BIG BROTHER (8p ET, CBS) — New

CELEBRITY FAMILY FEUD (8p ET, ABC) — New. Celebrity contestants include Jeff Dunham, Ming-Na Wen,Taye Diggs and Caroline Rhea.

THE $100,000 PYRAMID (9p ET, ABC) — New. Adam Rodriguez, Erika Christensen, Rob Riggle and Lauren Ash are the featured celebs.

NCIS: LOS ANGELES (9p ET, CBS) — Two repeats

CLAWS (9p ET, TNT) — New

SERIES PREMIERE: SHARP OBJECTS (9p ET, HBO) — Amy Adams stars in this mini-series adaptation of the Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl) novel. Adams plays reporter Camille Preaker, sent back to her rural hometown to cover the murder of two girls. While there, Camille is reunited with her overbearing mother (Patricia Clarkson), stepfather (Henry Czerny, Revenge)  and half-sister which brings back traumatic childhood memories, including the death of Camille’s younger sister. Chris Messina (The Mindy Project), Elizabeth Perkins, and Miguel Sandoval also star.

TO TELL THE TRUTH (10p ET, ABC) — New. The celeb panelists are Yvette Nicole Brown, Laverne Cox, Tony Hale and Jalen Rose.

SHADES OF BLUE (10p ET, NBC) — New.


ENTERTAINMENT

IN THEATERS TODAY _ The latest estimates for Ant-Man and the Wasp’s opening weekend are in, putting it at $80 million for its opening weekend.

… In theaters: Ant-Man and the Wasp (PG-13, opened July 5); The First Purge (R, opened July 3)

… Opening next weekend: Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (PG); Skyscraper (PG-13)

IDRIS ELBA CAST AS THE VILLAIN IN FAST AND FURIOUS SPINOFF _ Idris Elba will play the villain in the upcoming Fast and Furious spinoff movie. In Hobbs & Shaw, Elba will be fighting against Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Jason Statham.

NEW GAME SHOW HELPS CONTESTANTS PAY OFF THEIR STUDENT LOANS _ Most game shows offer flashy prizes — a trip to Maui, a million dollars, or a brand new car — but TruTV’s latest is giving away something much more practical: the opportunity to get out of student loan debt. Set to premiere July 10 on TruTV, Paid Off is designed to help contestants with college degrees win cash to put towards their loan payments. The show gives college graduates with student loan debt “the chance to test the depth of their degrees in a fun, fast-paced trivia game show.” In each episode, three contestants compete in rounds of trivia, with one contestant eliminated each round.

… One Family Feud-style segment asks contestants to guess the most popular answer to college-related poll questions like “What’s the best job you can have while in college?” (Answer: Server.) Other segments test contestants’ general trivia knowledge. In one, for example, a contestant is given 20 seconds to guess whether certain characters are from Goodfellas or the children’s show Thomas & Friends. Some segments also give them the chance to answer questions related to their college major.

EVEL KNIEVEL JUMP TO BE ATTEMPTED ON TV SUNDAY _ On Sunday, Travis Pastrana will recreate three of daredevil Evel Knievel’s most iconic jumps live for the History channel. On Evel Live, Pastrana will be riding an Indian Scout FTR750 V Twin, the same bike as Knievel.

… One of the stunts Pastrana will attempt to stick is jumping the fountain at Caesar’s Palace, which ended in disaster for Knievel. Later saying he took off about five mph too slow, Knievel blamed his bike’s lack of a speedometer for what resulted in a very rough crash-landing.

Watch Knievel’s 1977 attempt here.

THERESA CAPUTO FILES FOR DIVORCE _ Theresa Caputo‘s marriage has come to an end. The Long Island Medium star and her husband, Larry Caputo, are divorcing after 28 years of marriage.

… Back in April, Theresa said that the two were living on opposite coasts — he in L.A. and she in New York — and were taking their relationship and the possibility of a reconciliation “day by day.” Last month, Larry revealed that he’s in a new relationship since splitting from Theresa.

SCANDAL-PLAGUED FOX NEWS EXEC JOINS WHITE HOUSE _ A guy who was in the thick of things at Fox News when Bill O’Reilly and the network’s leader, Roger Ailes, went down has a new gig… in the White House. When Ailes was accused of sexual harassment by numerous women in 2016, Bill Shine — who worked right under Ailes — was accused of covering up the alleged misdeeds. Accusers say Shine was Ailes’ protector and fixer.

… On Thursday Shine was named Donald Trump’s new right-hand-man for White House communications.

100 WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME _ 24/7 Wall St. determined the 100 worst movies of all time based on audience and critic ratings. Perhaps not surprising, a majority of the worst movies of all time fall within two genres – comedy and horror. Fifty-eight of the movies on the list are categorized as comedies on the Internet Movie Database, while 22 are horror.

… Over one-quarter of the films on the list are also sequels.

10. The Hottie & the Nottie (2008) Starring: Paris Hilton, Joel David Moore, Christine Lakin

9. Gigli (2003) Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha

8. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) Starring: Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, Tippi Hedren

7. Battlefield Earth (2000) Starring: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper

6. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) Starring: Jon Voight, Scott Baio, Vanessa Angel

5. Disaster Movie (2008) Starring: Carmen Electra, Vanessa Lachey, Nicole Parker

4. House of the Dead (2003) Starring: Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso, Clint Howard

3. Alone in the Dark (2005) Starring: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff

2. Saving Christmas (2014) Starring: Kirk Cameron, Darren Doane, Bridgette Cameron

1. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) Starring: Tom Neyman, John Reynolds, Diane Adelson

FULL LIST


AUDIO

Find these audio files on the PRO AUDIO PAGE.

WOMAN SHOOTS CARJACKER: A mom in Dallas came out of a gas station convenience store to find a carjacker taking her SUV. She was able to jump into the passenger seat, pull a gun from the glove box and shoot the man in the head.

PHONER: MANY WOMEN BUY THEIR MAN’S UNDIES: A survey shows almost 40 percent of wives buy their husbands’ underwear and jeans. Ask wives if they do this and why. Here’s a call to help jump-start the phones. Link to the underwear the caller is talking about.

I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS: Big Brother Season 20 just going going and none of them are on the show to make friends. I know because we’ve heard almost every contestant on every reality TV show say it.

DROP: They are amazing.

DROP: They’re scared of our raw power.


BITS & BREAKS

HOW DO YOU MAKE PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY?

Thanks to Mike Alan for sharing this in the Facebook Group. In addition to votes, you’ll get some good comments about the “correct” way to make a PB&J.

How do you make a PB&J? Time to vote!

1. Put the peanut butter on a piece of bread and spread the jelly right on top of the peanut butter.

2. Put the peanut butter on one piece of bread, the jelly on the other piece of bread, then put them together.

WHY WERE YOU SPEEDING?

Police officers shared the craziest excuses they’d received when they ask a stopped motorist: “Why were you speeding?”

• “I didn’t know I was, because my lights are off.”

• “I’m taking my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning.” (The driver was drunk, too).

• After crashing: “I put supreme gas in the car, which caused me to lose control.” (Drunk.)

• “Don’t I get a couple over when I am taking my grand kids to the airport?”

• “My speedometer is broken.”

• “I’m trying to catch that UFO. Can you try to catch it for me?”

• “I had a bee in the car.”

• “I have been drinking and want to get off the road quickly.”

• “I’m going to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I am hurrying.”

• “I am wearing really heavy shoes today and they make the gas pedal go down more.”

• “I just got my license back from it being suspended and I am not used to driving.”

WHAT MAKES A PERFECT MAN

CBS and Vanity Fair polled adults nationwide and asked what they thought made the perfect man. Here are some highlights.

In general, how much control does a mother have to make her son the perfect man?

  • Full 9%
  • A lot 69%
  • Little 14%
  • None 4%

If you could change one of the following about your man, which would it be?

  • Temper (clear #1 – 29%)
  • Friends
  • Mother
  • Physique

As a young man matures, it’s most important that he becomes…

  • Well educated 35%
  • A hard worker 28%
  • A gentleman 27%
  • Willing to talk about feelings — waaaay down on the list 5%

A good man is most flawed when he is…

  • Drunk – Clear #1
  • Angry
  • Scared
  • Sick
  • Horny

When is it fair to determine whether a man has been successful?

  • 40 and “deathbed” were a tie
  • 30
  • Retirement
  • 50

“Chivalry is dead”

  • Disagree 63%
  • Agree 28%

FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: Researchers say you’ll do this 22 times today. (Open a fridge)

TRIVIA: It has five sides, five stories, and five acres in the middle. (The Pentagon)

BREAKFAST BINGO

Five questions. Each answer begins with the corresponding letter in the word BINGO.

• A reef located off the coast of Australia. (Barrier)

• A cold summertime treat. (Ice cream)

• He was a general and emperor of France. (Napoleon)

• It catches rainwater coming off your roof. (Gutter)

• Honda’s minivan. (Odyssey)


VIDEO OF THE DAY

Confused baby looks for reflection behind mirror.


DATEBOOK: JULY 9, 2018

BIRTHDAYS

• O.J. Simpson is 71

• Chris Cooper is 67

• John Tesh is 66

• Jimmy Smits is 63

• Tom Hanks is 62

• Kelly McGillis (Top Gun) is 61

• Fred Savage is 42

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1878: The corncob pipe was patented.

• 1910: The first airplane to fly a mile in the air did so this day with W.R. Brookins of Atlantic City, New Jersey, at the controls.

• 1918: In Nashville, Tennessee, an inbound local train collided with an outbound express killing 101 and injuring 171 people, making it the deadliest rail accident in United States history.

• 1985: Football great Joe Namath signed a five-year pact with ABC-TV to provide commentary for “Monday Night Football”. The former New York Jets quarterback reportedly earned one million dollars a year for the job.

• 1991: South Africa was reintroduced into the Olympic movement after 30 years of exclusion.

• 1992: Democratic presidential candidate Bill Clinton tapped Senator Al Gore of Tennessee to be his running mate.

• 1995: The Grateful Dead played their last concert, at Soldier Field in Chicago. (Lead guitarist Jerry Garcia died the following month.)

• 1997: Boxer Mike Tyson was banned from the ring and fined $3 million for biting opponent Evander Holyfield’s ear.

• 2002: The baseball All-Star game in Milwaukee finished in a 7-7 tie after 11 innings when both teams ran out of pitchers.

• 2004: Other vandals use crowbars or bricks to smash windows, but Michael Cain’s weapon of choice is a frozen T-bone steak. Vandal Michael Cain pleaded guilty to theft for stealing the steak from inside a garage freezer during a break-in in (Guelph) Ontario. During his drunken attack, Cain vandalized six cars with the frozen T-bone.

• 2008: The iPhone 3G was introduced.

• 2008: Prosecutors cleared JonBenet Ramsey’s parents and brother in the 1996 killing of the 6-year-old beauty queen in Boulder, Colorado.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Test Your Doorbell Day. There are fewer door-to-door salesmen these days so how do you know it works?

• Sports Cliché Week

• Nude Recreation Weekend

• National No Bra Day

• Sugar Cookie Day

• Fashion Day

UPCOMING

• July 15: World Cup Final
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 6: New York Fashion Weeks begins
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)
• November 4: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 22: Thanksgiving
• November 23: Black Friday
• November 24: Small Business Saturday
• November 26: Cyber Monday
• November 27: Giving Tuesday