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• Van Morrison is 73

• Richard Gere is 69

• Marcia Clark (O.J. Simpson ADA prosecutor), 65

• Deborah (Debbie) Gibson is 48

• Zack Ward (A Christmas Story, Titus) is 48

• Chris Tucker (Rush Hour) is 46

• Sara Ramirez (Grey’s Anatomy) is 43


• 1869: Scientist Mary Ward died in Ireland. She had the misfortune to fall under the wheels of an experimental steam car built by her cousins, making her the earliest motor vehicle accident victim.

• 1888: Mary Ann Nichols was murdered. She is the first of Jack the Ripper’s known victims.

• 1897: Thomas Edison patented the Kinetoscope, the first movie projector.

• 1948: Actor Robert Mitchum was arrested in a Hollywood drug raid. He would later be found guilty of criminal conspiracy to possess marijuana and was sentenced to 60 days in prison.

• 1963: Walter Cronkite began his stint as anchor of the “CBS Evening News.”

• 1976: Beatle George Harrison was found guilty of subconsciously plagiarizing the Chiffons’ “He’s So Fine” when he wrote “My Sweet Lord.”

• 1976: Carallyn Bowes became the first woman to run across Canada when she arrived in Burnaby, B.C., after a 3,841-mile jog from Halifax. In 133 days she lost 15 pounds and wore out 13 pairs of shoes.

• 1997: Diana, Princess of Wales, died in a car crash in Paris.

• 2001: A would-be bank robber went to the only empty cashier’s window to demand cash at a bank in Feldmoching, Germany. When the staff ignored him because he was standing at a closed window, the armed bandit fled empty-handed complaining about the appalling service at the bank.

• 2005: Martial law was declared in New Orleans amid reports of looters running wild, food and drinking water dwindling and bodies floating in the Katrina floodwaters.

• 2009: Walt Disney Co. announced it was acquiring comic book giant Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion.

• 2010: President Barack Obama ended the U.S. combat mission in Iraq.


• Love Litigating Lawyers Day

• College Colors Day

• National Eat Outside Day

• Trail Mix Day

• September is Baby Safety Month, Backpack Safety Month, Be Kind To Editors And Writers Month, Children’s Good Manners Month, Fall Hat Month, Hug A Texas Chef Month, International People Skills Month, Library Card Sign-up Month, National Biscuit Month, National Chicken Month, National Coupon Month, National Honey Month, National Mushroom Month, National Piano Month, National Potato Month, National Rice Month, National School Success Month, National Sewing Month, National Velociraptor Awareness Month, Pleasure Your Mate Month, Southern Gospel Music Month, Update Your Resume Month. September is Happy Cat Month.


• September 2: International Bacon Day AUDIO
• September 3: Labor Day
• September 6: NFL season begins (Falcons at Eagles)
• September 6: New York Fashion Weeks begins
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)
• November 4: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 9: World Chess Championship (November 9-28) in London
• November 22: Thanksgiving
• November 23: Black Friday
• November 24: Small Business Saturday
• November 26: Cyber Monday
• November 27: Giving Tuesday



• Lily Tomlin is 79. Barry Gibb is 72. Dr. Phil is 68. Gloria Estefan is 61. Scott Speedman is 43. Country singer Angaleena Presley of Pistol Annies is 42.

• International Bacon Day. (Note: Some sources say IBD is September 2.) Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day. Tailgating Day. Random Acts of Kindness Day/Be Kind Day. World Beard Day. Gyro Day.


• Terry Bradshaw is 70. Mark Harmon is 67. Keanu Reeves is 54. Salma Hayek is 52. Cynthia Watros is 50. Zedd is 29.

• International Bacon Day. (Note: Some sources say IBD is September 1.) Grits for Breakfast Day. Bowling League Day.


75: Percentage of major league players who use maple bats. 20 percent use the traditional ash and 5 percent use birch.


The U.S. has extended its travel ban against Americans going to North Korea. [I hope this doesn’t disrupt your plans for Christmas.]

An Asheville, North Carolina woman found a bear relaxing and swinging in her backyard hammock. [She has no idea where he got the mint julep.]

A West Virginia man is facing charges for keeping in his home more rattlesnakes than are allowed by law. [But how can anyone be expected to resist taking home a cute little adorable rattlesnake that keeps smiling at you?]

KFC is offering $11,000 to the first newborn named Harland, after the Colonel, who’s born on the Colonel’s birthday this September. [If you’re willing to humiliate your baby for a few bucks, why not go all the way and wait until a similar reward is offered by the people at Popeye’s?]

Police in Spain seized 147 pounds of cocaine smuggled inside hollowed-out pineapples. [Investigators believe it’s the work of an international crime cartel operating from a remote island and run by a shadowy figure known as Gilligan.]

A monkey ransacked a convenience store in China, destroying $400 worth of merchandise. [The owner said the monkey became upset after he found out that none of his lottery tickets had won.]

A monkey stolen from an exhibit in Sweden showed up hours later at a McDonald’s. Customers said the monkey was very polite. [So immediately, they knew that he didn’t work there.]

Donald Trump ordered the cancellation of pay raises for federal employees. [Afterward, he got an earful from Melania AND her body double.]

Politicians of all backgrounds have had some nice things to say about the late Sen. John McCain. [Sarah Palin praised him as the Queen of Soul.]

Brad Pitt is facing a lawsuit over the houses he built in New Orleans. [Between his divorce and this new lawsuit, someone may have to build a house for Brad.]


MAP SHOWS HOW HOURS WASTED COMMUTING TO AND FROM WORK _ Road safety website has released the most soul-crushing statistic you may read all week: On average, Americans spend 408 days of their lives commuting to and from work. That’s well over a year stuck in your car.

… Not surprisingly major cities near the coasts have some of the longest commute times. For example, the average round-trip commute in Seattle is 59.2 minutes, compared to 60.8 minutes in Long Beach and Los Angeles, and 64 minutes in Boston.

Here’s the map. Zoom in to your city then click the dot.

WALMART WANTS TO REPLACE TOYS ‘R’ US _ Now that Toys R Us is gone, Walmart is expanding its toy selection in stores and online as it gears up for the first holiday season without the toy giant around. Walmart announced on Thursday that it plans to increase its toy selection in some stores by 30% and expand its website assortment by 40%.

APPLE ANNOUNCES DATE FOR NEXT iPHONE EVENT _ Apple has announced that its next release event date is scheduled for September 12. On that date we’ll get first looks at the next three iPhones and the Apple Watch Series 4. Reports suggest the launch of three iPhones at three different price points. The iPhone XS, priced at around $899, is a 5.8-inch follow up to the iPhone X. The iPhone XS Plus is a 6.5-inch device priced at $999. In addition, Apple will release a 6.1-inch LCD iPhone, priced at $699, rumored to be the new iPhone 9.

… The new Apple Watch Series 4 will also feature some new improvements over previous models. The new watch will feature the same case size, but with a larger display. Rumored new features include Face ID and advanced health tracking.

… New iPad Pro models may also be revealed at the launch event.

CHINESE ARE RELEASING HUNTSMAN SPIDERS IN HOMES TO EAT ROACHES _ The huntsman spider is the ultimate cockroach killer: it’s fast, non-toxic to humans and likes to eat roaches. That’s why people in China are letting them loose in their homes to tackle their roach infestations. People are selling the spiders online; videos show the huntsman in action, snapping up roaches with lightning speed. The spider sell for between $1.50 and $4 based on size.

THE WORST DATES TO GET MARRIED ARE THE MOST CLICHÉ _ Choosing a wedding date is a big decision — should you opt for a date in the school holidays, save pennies by picking a weekday or even plan a Christmas wedding? Well, a study could help you narrow down the options, after researchers at the University of Melbourne revealed having your wedding on a specific date could spell bad news.

… They analyzed one million married couples and found February 14 — also known as Valentine’s Day — to be the worst date to get married. Around 11 percent of those who got hitched on the romantic day were divorced within five years.

… Researchers also pointed to “special number days” such as September 1999 (which also reads as 9/9/99) as dates that see an increase in divorce.

COLLEGE STUDENT FINDS 5-FOOT SNAKE IN DORM ROOM _ A college student in central New York has to collect a 5-foot-long boa constrictor from a local wildlife center after a fellow student found the pet reptile hiding behind her dorm room refrigerator. The student at Hamilton College found the snake Tuesday and called campus safety for help. The snake is owned by another student, who kept it in a plastic tote. Having an animal other than a service animal is against campus rules, and the student could face disciplinary charges.

WOMAN SAVES MAN’S LIFE ON THEIR FIRST DATE _ A first date on the beach in Santa Cruz, California, could have been one man’s last ever. The couple on their date came back on the beach from surfing and the man collapsed on the sand. It turned out he was having a heart attack. Luckily the woman he was with on their first date was a doctor. She jumped into action and gave him CPR, keeping him alive until emergency crews arrived. The man has made a full recovery, and the two are still together.

AMERICA’S LUNCH BREAK IS FADING AWAY _ A new study finds half of American workers feels like they’re unable to take a full lunch break. As many as 30 percent of workers eat at their desk each day because they believe it leads to better productivity.

CHICK-FIL-A IS GIVING AWAY FREE CHICKEN NUGGETS _ Want some free nuggets? Through September 29, Chick-fil-A will give you a free 8-count order of chicken nuggets if you download the Chick-fil-A One mobile app and create an account or sign in to your existing account. The free nuggets offer will automatically appear in the ‘My Rewards’ section of the app. The best part: You can get the free nuggets without buying anything else.

SPACE STATION ASTRONAUT PLUGGED LEAK WITH HIS FINGER _ An astronaut aboard the International Space station was forced to repair a tiny hole in the orbiting lab with his finger Thursday morning. The ‘micro fracture’ believed to be around 2mm wide was discovered after astronauts noticed a drop in pressure. European Space Agency astronaut Alexander Gerst put his finger over the hole, before crew patched it with tape.

… Flight controllers determined there was no immediate danger to the crew overnight, but alerted the crew as soon as they awoke.

… Engineers believe the hole was caused by a micrometeorite.

TAKE A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA DURING SCROLL-FREE SEPTEMBER _ Great Britain’s Royal Society for Public Health is asking people to give up social media for all of September. They’re calling it Scroll-Free September and the reason is simple: social media can often be toxic, especially for younger people who feel like they need to show their “best life”, or get brought down because they’re unhappy with their bodies or lives as compared to what’s online.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: ROADS IN AUSTRALIA THAT ARE SO BORING THEY HAVE TRIVIA SIGNS _ In Australia the animals are bigger, the insects are deadlier, and apparently some roads are so long and boring, the government has erected trivia signs in ‘fatigue zones’ to keep drivers alert and reduce crashes and fatalities. As you drive along some long, boring stretches you’ll see a sign with a trivia question. Miles down the road is another sign with the answer.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY WRITES “WILL YOU MARRY ME” ON A COW _ A man in Scotland proposed to his girlfriend by writing “will you marry me?” on the side of her favorite cow. She said yes.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN BREAKS INTO FUNERAL PARLOR TO STEAL MOTHER-IN-LAW’S BODY _ During an investigation into a funeral home in the UK it’s been discovered that a husband was so concerned with the reputation of the place, he broke into the funeral parlor and stole his mother-in-law’s body. The undertaker stopped answering the husband’s calls just days before the service. The man panicked when he had not been able to get in touch with the undertaker and so took matters into his own hands. He didn’t tell his grieving wife about his worries and decided to rescue his dead mother-in-law. The frantic husband said he asked friends to act as look-outs as he used a doorway down an ally to break into the funeral parlor. He loaded the corpse onto a truck and took the body to another funeral home.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOM DISCOVERS KIDS’ NUMBER ONCE BELONGED TO PROSTITUTE _ A North Dakota mother discovered her kids’ new phone number used to belong to someone else in a very, uh, unique field of employment. Julie Zimny recently added a new cell phone to her plan for her kids to use in the house — but soon found the number wasn’t a new one. The phone started receiving some risque text messages. Initially Julie ignored them, figuring the texts were from an ex-boyfriend of the person who used to have the number. Then she realized this wasn’t some ex-boyfriend. The texts were coming from numerous different males — because the phone number used to belong to a prostitute.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MONKEY ESCAPES ZOO, FLEES TO MCDONALD’S _ A McDonald’s in Sweden had an unexpected visitor Wednesday night. It was a monkey that had escaped from a zoo nine miles away. The marmoset jumped around the tables and picked at leftover food. The monkey was then recaptured by museum staff.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: RACCOON SPOTTED HITCHING A RIDE ON D.C. BUS _ A raccoon hitched a ride on the back of a Washington D.C. bus this week. The raccoon jumped on the back of a bus making the rounds at the National Mall.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PARROT BRINGS OUT FIREFIGHTERS _ Police in Russia broke down a door after being called to a house and hearing a woman’s screams coming from inside. But they soon realized that the sounds weren’t coming from a woman in distress. The ruckus was the work of a 2-year-old parrot. Police found him intermittently making laughing and screaming sounds as he sat inside his large cage.






THE RESIDENT (8p ET, FOX) — Repeat


SPEECHLESS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat


WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (9p ET, ABC) — Repeat

THE ORVILLE (9p ET, FOX) — Repeat

PENN & TELLER: FOOL US (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

DATELINE (10p ET, NBC) — New.

20/20 (10p ET, ABC) — New.

BLUE BLOODS (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat

SERIES PREMIERE: TOM CLANCY’S JACK RYAN (Amazon) — John Krasinski (The Office) stars in this new 8-episode action series as Marine-turned-rookie CIA analyst Jack Ryan, as he and a team race to stop a terrorist attack on the U.S. Peter Fonda, Wendell Pierce, Timothy Hutton and Abbie Cornish also star.

SEASON PREMIERE: OZARK (Netflix) — Janet McTeer (Marvel’s Jessica Jones) joins the cast for the second season.

THE COMEDY LINEUP (Netflix) — A new bunch of comics take the stage.

SERIES PREMIERE: PARADISE PD (Netflix) — This new animated cop comedy features the voices of Tom Kenny (Spongebob), Cedric Yarbrough (Reno 911) and Sarah Chalke (Scrubs).


CBS THIS MORNING (7a ET, CBS) — CBS News will have 5 hours of coverage starting at 7am ET of the services for Sen. John McCain, starting with the procession past the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, followed by the service at Washington National Cathedral.

… On NBC, starting at 9a ET, Meet the Press moderator Chuck Todd will host coverage of the memorial service from the grounds outside the National Cathedral. Lester Holt will anchor a special edition of NBC Nightly News reporting on the day’s events.

… ABC’s coverage will also start at 9a ET, as Chief Anchor George Stephanopoulos anchors coverage of McCain’s memorial service from the Washington National Cathedral, and coverage from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial where McCain’s family will pay respects and wife Cindy McCain will lay a wreath.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL (ABC, NBC, FOX) — College football really gets going as reigning national champion Alabama kicks off its title defense against Louisville on ABC. Also, Michigan takes on Notre Dame in South Bend, Ind., on NBC. FOX also has football, game depends on your region.

All of the games, all dang day.


FERDINAND (8p ET, HBO) — John Cena is the voice of Ferdinand in this animated 2017 comedy. Based on the beloved children’s book, Ferdinand is a strapping young bull who prefers flowers to bullfighting. Other voices featured include Kate McKinnon, Anthony Anderson, Bobby Cannavale, Peyton Manning, Gina Rodriguez and David Tennant.

SERIES PREMIERE: WOLVES AND WARRIORS (10p ET, Animal Planet) — This new unscripted series looks at an animal sanctuary where combat veterans coping with PTSD help rehabilitate domesticated wolves and wolf-dog hybrids rescued from situations of abuse or neglect.





IN THEATERS TODAY _ Crazy Rich Asians should be able to hang on the top spot at the weekend box office. The post-World War II Nazi hunter drama Operation Finale will debut in second place.

… In theaters: Operation Finale (PG-13); Kin (PG-13); Ya Veremos (PG-13); Searching (PG-13, WIDER)

… Opening next weekend: The Nun (R); Peppermint (R)

EMMY ROSSUM LEAVING SHAMELESS _ Emmy Rossum is saying goodbye to Shameless. Rossum, who has played Fiona Gallagher on the Showtime comedy since it began, announced her exit in a lengthy Facebook post. She wrote: “This business is always an adventure, full of travel and opportunities to tell stories. Usually as an actor, every few months, you travel to a new place, start a new project, build a new character, learn new rhythms, new inside jokes with your crew, make new friends.”

HEATHER LOCKLEAR CHARGED WITH ATTACKING POLICE OFFICER, EMT _ Heather Locklear has been charged with three misdemeanor counts after she was arrested in June for allegedly attacking a police officer and an EMT. Locklear was charged Thursday with one misdemeanor count for resisting, obstructing or delaying a law enforcement officer, and two misdemeanor counts for battery on a peace officer and emergency personnel. The charges stem from Locklear’s arrest on June 24 at her home. She was arrested on accusations of misdemeanor battery on a police officer and emergency personnel. A police spokesman said Locklear “kicked one of our deputies … she was extremely intoxicated and uncooperative.” While an EMT was trying to evaluate her condition before being taken to jail, she also kicked the EMT.

EIGHTH GRADE’S ELSIE FISHER JOINS ANIMATED ADDAMS FAMILY MOVIE _ Elsie Fisher, the 15-year-old actress from the acclaimed movie Eighth Grade, is joining the cast of the upcoming animated reboot of the classic comic and sitcom The Addams Family.


Find these audio files on the PRO AUDIO PAGE.

PHONER: Embarrassing thing your kid said in public.  →  Lots of real callers.

FLUX: Boston TV reporter blames crash on flux capacitator.  →   See story in PROshare.

DROP: Don’t let this happen to you.



• Forty percent of us re-us tinfoil.

• South Carolina residents get more cavities than anyone anywhere in the U.S.

• Friday is the most popular day to use an ATM.

• Nineteen states still allow schools to dish out corporal punishment to students. (For the record, the American Psychological Association has come out against it.)

• If you’re a lepidopterist, you collect butterflies or moths.

• The Titanic was traveling 25 miles per hour when disaster struck.

• Per capita, more people in Alaska walk to work than people in any other state.

• According to Glamour, 96% of men say they would like it if a woman made the first move.


• I enjoy chicken strips.

• I still think peeling dried glue off my fingers like it’s dead skin is the coolest thing EVER.

• I don’t go anywhere near the basement.

• I’ll still have cereal for dinner!

• I still like the crust cut off my PB&J.

• I still refer to my enemies as poopy-heads.


What do you call your honey? Well, apparently, most people call their honey “honey.” According to a poll here are the top terms of endearment:

  1. Honey, 48%
  2. Baby, 44%
  3. Sweetheart, 41%
  4. Dear, 39%
  5. Lover, 32%
  6. Darling, 31%
  7. Sugar, 24%
  8. Angel, 20
  9. Pumpkin, 13%
  10. Beautiful, 6%


TRIVIA: New York City spends over $100,000 each year on what? (Body bags)

TRIVIA: By the time they graduate high school, 90% of teens have tried what? (Gambling)

TRIVIA: Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do this correctly. (Make the bed)


• Name something you place under a Christmas tree.

• What does the average homeowner use to cut his lawn?

• Name something women spray on before going out on a date?

• It’s considered good etiquette for men to do what when a woman comes to the table?



• Costas Mandylor (Picket Fences) is 53

• Charlie Sheen is 53

• Ashley Jones (True Blood) is 42

• Garrett Hedlund (Tron) is 34


• 1939: World War II began when France, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and Australia declared war on Germany after the invasion of Poland, starting the Allies.

• 1944 : Diarist Anne Frank and her family were placed on the last transport train from Westerbork to Auschwitz, arriving three days later.

• 1951: The first long-running American television soap opera, Search for Tomorrow, aired its first episode on the CBS network.

• 1989: Karen and Stan Sutton sailed back into San Francisco harbor 8½ years after leaving on their trip around the world. They made it in a 43-foot ship they built themselves. Along the way, the couple had two children.

• 1995: eBay was founded.

• 2017: 60,000 people were evacuated as a 1.4 ton World War II bomb was defused in Frankfurt, Germany.


• Labor Day

• Skyscraper Day

• Baby Back Ribs Day


• September 6: NFL season begins (Falcons at Eagles)
• September 6: New York Fashion Weeks begins
• September 22: Oktoberfest in Munich begins
• October 31: Halloween (Wednesday)
• November 4: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 9: World Chess Championship (November 9-28) in London
• November 22: Thanksgiving
• November 23: Black Friday
• November 24: Small Business Saturday
• November 26: Cyber Monday
• November 27: Giving Tuesday