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• Louise Fletcher is 85

• Terence Stamp is 81

• Alex Trebek is 79

• Danny Glover is 73

• Don Henley (Eagles, solo) is 72

• Actor-comedian-director Albert Brooks is 72

• Willem Dafoe is 64

• David Spade is 55

• John Leguizamo is 55

• A.J. Cook (Criminal Minds) is 41

• Selena Gomez is 27


• 1933: Wiley Post became first person to fly solo around the world traveling 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 minutes.

• 1991: Police in Milwaukee arrested serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

• 1994: O.J. Simpson pleaded not guilty to the slaying of his ex-wife, Nicole, and her friend, Ronald Goldman.

• 2003: Saddam Hussein’s sons Odai and Qusai were killed when U.S. forces stormed a villa in Mosul, Iraq.

• 2004: The Sept. 11 commission issued a report saying America’s leaders failed to grasp the gravity of terrorist threats before the 9/11 attacks.

• 2006: In Rutland, Vermont, a woman who was spotted leaving a Kmart with a bag of goods she allegedly didn’t pay for ran off, with three Kmart employees in pursuit. The woman jumped a guardrail and darted into some woods where she got stuck in a swamp.

• 2011: Anders Breivik killed 69 people at a Norwegian island youth retreat after detonating a bomb in nearby Oslo that killed eight others in the nation’s worst violence since World War II.

• 2012: America’s first female astronaut, Sally Ride, died of pancreatic cancer at age 61.

• 2015: Scientists announced the discovery of a planet in the Kepler-452 solar system that closely resembles Earth in size and orbit. The planet, Kepler 452-b, has a diameter 60% larger than Earth’s but an orbit that is 385 days, close to Earth’s 365 days.


• National Parenting Gifted Children Week

• National Scrabble Week

• National Zoo Keeper Week

• Global Hug Your Kid Day

Spooners (Spoonerism) Day

• Hammock Day


• July 28: Shark Week begins
• July 30: Second Democratic debate, in Detroit
• August 1: NFL pre-season begins
• August 1: Lollapalooza begins
• August 2: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally begins
• August 24: College football returns with two games: Florida vs. Miami and Arizona vs. Hawaii.
• September 2: Labor Day
• September 5: NFL season begins (Packers and Bears)
• September 22: Emmy Awards (Fox)


5,000: The number of satellites orbiting earth.


A school district in Pennsylvania threatened parents that if they didn’t pay their kid’s lunch debt, the district would see to it that they lost custody of their kids. [Actually, they can’t do that so now they’re threatening to make the parents serve as chaperones on field trips.]

California has begun paying the medical school bills of doctors who are willing to treat the poor. [For example, before each round of golf, he has to agree to give the caddy a thorough check-up.]

In Florida, five guys were arrested at a Five Guys restaurant. [Isn’t that a bit like spotting a bison and a free-range chicken eating at Buffalo Wild Wings?]

In India, a tiger broke into a family’s home and took a nap on their bed. [Even worse, he changed all their sleep-number settings.]

To demonstrate how hot it was in Omaha, the National Weather Service baked biscuits inside a parked car. [That’s even better than that new car smell.]

A woman in Hackensack, New Jersey, exited a car wash, accidentally slammed on the gas pedal, and drove into a river. [She’s fine, but she’s still a bit upset that she wasted money on a car wash.]

A man in Michigan was cited after his pet alligator escaped twice in two days. [No one can figure out how the gator managed to tie all those bedsheets together to form a rope.]

A ferret was caught running loose in a Volvo dealership. [I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t read it. I had no idea there were still Volvo dealerships.]

A new study finds that the more junk food options available the more kids overeat. [They didn’t need to waste money on an expensive study. All they had to do was go to an 11-year-old’s birthday party.]

The food world is excited about a new apple that’s about to hit the market. It’s called Cosmic Crisp and it’s supposed to be the best-tasting apple in the world. [Experts say that the fruit is so good that it may actually get Americans to think about apple as something other than a flavor of Jolly Rancher candy.]


MILLENNIALS DON’T KNOW BUZZ ALDRIN, NEIL ARMSTRONG _ When asked about the importance of funding research for things like the International Space Station, the GPS Satellite Network and the Hubble Telescope, Millennials were less likely than Baby Boomers or GenXers to say those would be a good investment.

… Unsurprisingly, millennials are much less likely than the average American to know the names of the astronauts that walked on the moon 50 years ago. In fact, it was the only generation to have lopsided numbers, meaning 55 percent of them didn’t know that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were the guys famous for the moon landing.

AMERICAN KIDS WANT TO BE FAMOUS ON YOUTUBE _ Kids 8 to 12 in the U.S., the UK, and China were recently polled in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission. Kids in the U.S. and the UK were three times as likely to want to be YouTubers or vloggers as astronauts, while kids in China were more likely to want to be astronauts.

PARENTS FORCED TO CHANGE BROADBAND PROVIDERS BY KIDS _ Parents are being pressured to get faster broadband — by their children. Research reveals half the nation’s 5- to 18-year-olds want a fast, reliable internet connection for streaming TV and online gaming. And, says the study, almost half of parents have changed broadband providers in the past five years because their kids’ want it to be faster.

OBVIOUS: PETTING DOGS AND CATS CAN LOWER YOUR STRESS LEVEL _ We’ve been down this leash before, but it’s still nice to know: A Washington State University study has confirmed that petting animals can decrease human stress levels.

… Besides other studies which have show the stress-busting benefits of petting your pets, we know it works because dogs are often brought into schools and workplaces after traumatic incidents like mass shootings.

MANY DOG OWNERS TAKE THEIR PET OUT FOR A WALK TO GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET _ Eight out of ten dog owners admit they take their pet out for a walk just to get some peace and quiet.

LAMB UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUGS _ An award-winning lamb is currently under investigation and may be stripped of its title after veterinarians at the Logan County Fair in Ohio found illegal drugs in its system. The grand champion lamb was given a performance-enhancing diuretic, which is banned from competition because it makes the animal’s muscles feel leaner. The Ohio Department of Agriculture is spearheading the investigation into lamb PED use, although it doesn’t seem to be as rampant as steroid use in baseball during the 1990s.

… The grand champion lamb was reportedly showed by a young 4-H member between July 7-13 when it tested positive for the illegal drugs.

WOMEN’S PURSES _ A men’s magazine tackled the subject of women’s purses and found 87 percent of guys don’t like holding a woman’s purse and 67 percent don’t like to go in a woman’s purse.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: Is the purse off-limits to your man? Are you OK with him going in it?

MORE THAN 700 PEOPLE HAVE FILED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT _ Including two dozen prominent candidates running for the Democratic nomination, more than 700 people have filed with the Federal Election Commission to run for president in 2020. Qualifying is easy — an individual must be at least 35 years old, a natural-born citizen and a U.S. resident for at least 14 years. Filing is a cakewalk — presidential hopefuls need to fill out a statement of candidacy with the FEC, which is free to do.

… You won’t see these candidates when you go to vote one year from this November: candidates striking out on their own as independents must petition each state and Washington, D.C., to get on the ballot. Many candidates say they are running solely to draw attention to issues such as the marginalization of Native Americans, taxation or promoting a progressive agenda. Others think the two-party system is damaging to the U.S. and want third parties to be a part of the election conversation.

… A few of the 700 running for president:

• Vermin Supreme, a perennial candidate who wears a boot for a hat and wants to give everyone free ponies.

• 89-year-old Mike Gravel, a former senator from Alaska who is allowing two teens to run his antiwar protest candidacy.

• Seven the Dog, whose principal campaign committee is the “Puppy Party — Friends of Seven the Dog.”

• Chocolate Pancakes of Manchester, Connecticut.

CHARACTERISTICS OF VERY SUCCESSFUL WOMEN _ According to a study, women who consider themselves to be very successful share characteristics and attitudes that contrast sharply with other women. For example, 76 percent of very successful women say they often set personal goals and make specific plans for achieving them — 30 percent higher than among the less successful women.

… 47 percent of very successful women say they make lists all the time, versus 34 percent of less successful women. 70 percent are active in a community, church or charitable organization versus 50 percent of less successful women. These women are also more likely to exercise a few times a week (43 percent), compared to less successful women (26 percent).

OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE HAVE LESS BALANCE _ Was this study really necessary? Researchers say that obese adults could improve their balance by shedding pounds and boosting their muscle strength. The researchers say the findings are important because falls are a particular problem for obese adults. The findings were published in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

… Studies suggest that obese people fall nearly twice as often as their thinner counterparts, and that falls are the most common cause of injury among obese adults.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN DRESSED AS CLOWN LEADS POLICE ON 35-MILE CHASE _ Drivers and pedestrians all over the Los Angeles area Saturday were witness to a strange sight as police pursued a man in a mask and clown wig for approximately 35 miles — at least part of that distance spent standing up through his car’s sunroof. The pursuit started Saturday around 2:50 PM then continued for nearly an hour. The car eventually exited a highway but kept driving. The driver was apparently popping in and out through the sunroof, sometimes sitting with his feet up on the roof of the car while the car inched forward. As the slow-motion chase neared Venice Beach, the man in the wig parked and exited the car and then took off running west toward the ocean. When police actually caught up to and arrested the suspect, he had stopped to help playfully bury a beachgoer in the sand.

AUDIOWACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE ASKED PEOPLE TO ‘HOLD OFF’ ON CRIME UNTIL HEAT WAVE WAS OVER _ Around 93 million people were under excessive heat warnings and advisories over the weekend. And so, multiple police departments requested that any would-be criminals spare them from having to respond during scorching temperatures. On its Facebook page the Braintree, Massachusetts PD wrote: “Due to the extreme heat, we are asking anyone thinking of doing criminal activity to hold off until Monday. It is straight up hot as soccer balls out there. Conducting criminal activity in this extreme heat is next level henchmen status, and also very dangerous.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: VENICE FINES TOURISTS $1G FOR MAKING COFFEE ON HISTORIC BRIDGE _ Two tourists to Venice, Italy, were forced to wake up and smell the coffee after getting smacked with a $1,067 fine for brewing up java with a travel cooker on the steps of an historic bridge. The two German backpackers were blasted with the pricey fine for boldly brewing a cup of joe at the foot of the Rialto Bridge. The tourists, both in their 30s, were also booted from the Italian city for the offense. The Rialto recently underwent a multimillion-dollar renovation.

AUDIOWACKY-BUT-TRUE: MISSING TODDLER DROVE HIMSELF TO COUNTY FAIR ON TOY TRACTOR _ A toddler who was reported missing in Minnesota on Thursday night (July 18) turned out not to be in too much danger — he just wanted to go back to the fair. Police received a call that evening from a father who had taken his 2½-year-old son to the fair (Chisago County Fair), which is located right down the street from their house. The boy went missing after they got home. The boy was determined to return to the fair, so he jumped on his battery-powered toy John Deere tractor and headed back to the fairgrounds on his own. • LINK

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THIEF HAD TO BE RESCUED BY POLICE WHEN HE JUMPED INTO LAKE _ A 25-year-old man in Argentina was being chased by police after stealing money and other belongings from a woman sitting in a parked car. He might have gotten away by jumping in the lake, but the guy forgot he couldn’t swim and had to be rescued by the cops.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BURGLAR STUCK IN BATHROOM VENT RESCUED _ A burglar was stopped when he got stuck climbing through a vent as he tried to break into an apartment in China. Firefighters worked about an hour to free the man from the narrow vent leading to a bathroom.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE HELP MAN OUT OF LOCKER _ German police had to rescue a 20-year-old man from a train station suitcase locker after he shut himself in for fun. Alcohol was involved.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: FLOUR SPILL ON HIGHWAY _ Traffic on a busy road in Mexico came to a halt after a truck carrying a load of flour overturned. Crews used brooms and leaf blowers to move the flour off the road.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DRUGS BURNED MAN’S CROTCH _ A suspected drug trafficker in Bulgaria was arrested when the cocaine he had stashed down his pants was burning his crotch so much he had to ask police to remove it.


THE BACHELORETTE (8p ET, ABC) — New. In the The Men Tell All special, the 17 bachelors confront Hannah, plus a preview of Bachelor in Paradise Season 6.

AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR (8p ET, NBC) — A new, 2-hour episode. The competition returns to Atlanta for the city finals.


TIGER WOODS – CHASING HISTORY (8p ET, Golf Channel) — This new special will present viewers with a chronological glimpse from each of Woods’ 81 professional victories, from his first at the Las Vegas Invitational in 1996, through the most recent win at the Masters earlier this year. Carson Daly, who competed against Woods during their junior golf careers in Southern California, narrates.

THE CODE (9p ET, CBS) — New. Abe’s colleagues must defend and reluctantly prosecute him when he is court-martialed for mutiny in regard to a mission in Afghanistan.


WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? (9p ET, CW) — New. Olympian Adam Rippon is the special guest.

THE GREAT MOTHER (9p ET, Starz) — This 2019 documentary profiles an activist who has served as legal guardian for hundreds of children born in the U.S. to parents who are undocumented.

GRAND HOTEL (10p ET, ABC) — New. Mrs. P goes undercover.

DATELINE (10p ET, NBC) — New


AUDIOTOP TEN MOVIES _ If there was any doubt that the 2019 box office belonged to the Walt Disney Co., this weekend put an end to it. Not only did its photorealistic remake of The Lion King devour opening weekend records for the month of July and a PG-rated film, but Avengers: Endgame also crept past Avatar to become the highest-grossing film of all time.

… The Lion King grossed $185 million, despite mixed reviews for the remake of the 1994 animated film.

… Disney bought Marvel for $4 billion in 2009, a decade later it’s made more than $18 billion at the global box office

  1. The Lion King, $185 million
  2. Spider-Man: Far from Home, $21 million
  3. Toy Story 4, $14.6 million
  4. Crawl, $6 million
  5. Yesterday, $5.1 million
  6. Stuber, $4 million
  7. Aladdin, $3.8 million
  8. Annabelle Comes Home, $2.6 million
  9. Midsommar, $1.59 million
  10. The Secret Life of Pets 2, $1.5 million

… One year ago this week the number one movie was The Equalizer 2
… Five years ago this week: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
… Ten years ago this week: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
… Twenty years ago this week: Eyes Wide Shut

… Opening Friday: Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood (R)

AVENGERS: ENDGAME IS HIGHEST GROSSING FILM OF ALL TIME _ The Marvel Studios juggernaut Avengers: Endgame has finally managed to surpass the massive box office record set by James Cameron’s Avatar nearly a decade ago. Going into the weekend, Avatar‘s record was at $2.7897 billion. Endgame surpassed this number by Sunday night.

MARVEL’S PHASE 4 PLANS REVEALED _ Kevin Feige, president of Marvel Studios, over the weekend unveiled the Phase 4 slate of the Marvel Cinematic Universe at Comic-Con. The list includes Black Widow, The Eternals, Thor 4: Love and Thunder, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

… Marvel’s Phase 4 schedule:

  • May 1, 2020: Black Widow
  • Fall, 2020: Untitled
  • November 6, 2020: The Eternals movie
  • February 12, 2021: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
  • Spring, 2021: WandaVision Disney Plus series
  • May 7, 2021: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
  • Spring, 2021: Loki Disney Plus series
  • Summer, 2021: Untitled
  • Fall, 2021: The Falcon and Winter Soldier Disney Plus series
  • November 5, 2021: Thor 4: Love and Thunder

… The long-rumored Black Widow will star Scarlett Johansson, David Harbour, Florence Pugh, O-T Fagbenle and Rachel Weisz and will take place shortly after Captain America: Civil War, making it a prequel to the more recent Avengers films.

NATALIE PORTMAN WILL BE FEMALE THOR IN THE NEW MOVIE _ The makers of Thor: Love and Thunder announced Natalie Portman will not only be back for the fourth Thor film, she’ll be taking on the mythical hammer and god-like powers herself. The news that Portman’s character Jane Foster would be back as a female Thor was announced at San Diego Comic-Con on Saturday.

… Not only that, Portman will star alongside Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie. Fans already knew Thompson would be back as King of Asgard, and she broke the news at Comic-Con that her character would be looking for a queen — making her potentially the first openly LGBTQ superhero in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

… Chris Hemsworth will also be back in the movie.

SPIDER-MAN ACTOR ESCORTED OUT OF COMIC-CON BASH _ Tony Revolori is no Peter Parker. Over the weekend, the Spider-Man: Far From Home actor, who plays the social media-obsessed Flash Thompson, was escorted out of a Comic-Con event after climbing up a branch of a tree to get a photo. Revolori was spotted climbing up the branch of a small tree in the middle of the Hard Rock Hotel’s rooftop bar Float during Entertainment Weekly’s annual closing night bash. He took several pics of the crowded party before three security guards rushed over, yelling at him to get down. He was then walked to the exit. Revolori apologized and kindly obliged when he was asked to leave.

PICARD: PATRICK STEWART RETURNS IN FIRST TRAILER FOR STAR TREK SERIES _ During Star Trek’s panel at Comic-Con Saturday, fans got a first full look at Picard, the Next Generation revival focused on Patrick Stewart’s beloved Enterprise captain Jean-Luc Picard. The series marks Stewart’s first time reprising the role since 2002’s big screen Star Trek: Nemesis. Picking up 20 years after the events of that film, Picard finds the since-retired captain enduring an ordinary domestic life until he meets a young girl with uncanny powers. The sci-fi drama lands on CBS’ streaming service in 2020. • VIDEO

KEANU REEVES STOPPED TO LEAVE A SWEET NOTE IN A FAN’S YARD _ Keanu Reeves did something really nice for a fan in Louisiana. The actor was in the car with the writer of the upcoming Bill & Ted sequel (Ed Solomon) when they saw a yard sign that said, “You’re breathtaking!” It’s something Keanu had uttered at the E3 video game conference last month when he yelled it to the audience after a fan yelled it to him.

… When Keanu saw the yard sign with “You’re breathtaking!” on it, he jumped out of the car and autographed it. Lucky for the homeowners — who knew Keanu’s been in town filming — they were home and got to meet the actor.

105 MILLION ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK VIEWERS _ Netflix says around 105 million of its users have watched at least one episode of its original series Orange Is the New Black — now in its seventh and final season — making it the service’s most viewed original program.

SHANNEN DOHERTY CAST IN RIVERDALE’S TRIBUTE TO LUKE PERRY _ Luke Perry‘s longtime friend Shannen Doherty will be making an appearance on Riverdale’s Season 4 to pay special tribute to the late actor. On Sunday, the Beverly Hills 90210 star shared some sweet images with her former costar on Instagram, revealing that she had been cast to play a special character on CW’s hit series for a tribute episode they have planned to honor Perry following his tragic death. She wrote along side two photos: “I am deeply honored to pay tribute to Luke on Riverdale. The care in which this show takes in honoring his memory is beautiful.”

R. KELLY TO FACE CHARGES IN NEW YORK ON AUGUST 2 _ R. Kelly has been ordered brought to New York for his arraignment on racketeering charges that allege he recruited young girls for sexual abuse at concerts across the country. The charges are part of multiple allegations of sexual misconduct against the singer that have been filed this year. Kelly, who is being held without bond in Chicago, will be brought by U.S. Marshals to the federal courthouse in Brooklyn for an August 2 hearing. He will be returned to Chicago for a status hearing on September 4 on a separate indictment.

NICOLE KIDMAN WANTS TO DO SEASON 3 OF BIG LITTLE LIES _ The season two finale of Big Little Lies aired on Sunday, and the show has not yet been renewed for another season. But at least one member of the cast is ready for a third go-around: Nicole Kidman. The actress aid she would “love” to continue working on the hit HBO show because there are “certainly ideas. But we would not do it without all of the same people involved — even the kids.”


Find these audio files on the PRO AUDIO PAGE.

  TODDLER ON A TRACTOR: A little kid hopped on his toy tractor and drove it down the street to the county fair. Here’s a clip of Kenny Chesney’s iconic song She Thinks My Tractors Sexy.

  BED: Much of the nation was under a heat warning over the weekend. Here’s the Hot Hot Hot intro with bed.

  THE LION KING: It was the weekend’s No. 1 film. This is the intro to the film’s iconic song.



If you were born July 23 – August 22 your astrological sign is Leo.

• Your colors are gold, yellow, and orange.

• Your best day is Sunday.

• Your lucky numbers are 1, 3, 10, 19

• Your strengths: Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous

• Your weaknesses: Arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible

• Your likes: Theater, taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colors, fun with friends

• Your dislikes: Being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen


FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: Got any scars? How did you get them?


It’s so hot, I’m thinking about getting my navel pierced just for the ventilation.


Waiting in line at a coffee shop yesterday I overheard a guy in his 30s trying to explain to a woman in her 70s — I think his grandmother — what “the cloud” is. He was explaining how her photos were going to be backed up “in the cloud” and that they would be safe there. She thought someone was printing off her pictures and keeping them in boxes for her.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s the hardest thing to explain to old people?


Nearly three-fourths of adults admit to indulging in at least one ice cream indiscretion. They’ve eaten it in bed. They kept a secret stash hidden from the spouse and kids. They’ve even eaten it for breakfast. Don’t tell mom, but some of the more unusual eating patterns uncovered are:

• Eat ice cream instead of a meal: 26 percent

• Eat ice cream for breakfast: 10 percent

• Eat ice cream in bed: 19 percent

• Eat ice cream in the bathtub: 3 percent

• Wait to be alone to eat ice cream: 14 percent

• Sneak extra servings: 22 percent


TRIVIA: Researchers estimate that 2½ million people in Canada, 4 million people in the UK, and 21 million people in the U.S. have phobias about what? (Toilets)

TRIVIA: 85% of the people who buy these never use them. (Piano)

TRIVIA: There are about 6,800 of these in the world. (Languages)


• In what year did the FBI start hiring women as special agents? (1972)

• How many bathrooms does the White House have? (34)

• A pound of ground coffee yields how many cups of coffee? (50)

• How many letters are in the Hawaiian alphabet? (12)

• In feet, how tall is the Eiffel Tower? (984)



• Larry Manetti (Magnum, P.I.) is 76

• Edie McClurg (school secretary Grace in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) is 74

• Woody Harrelson is 58

• Eriq Lasalle (ER) is 57

• Marlon Wayans is 47

• Stephanie March (Law and Order: Special Victims Unit) is 45

• Paul Wesley (The Vampire Diaries) is 37

• Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter movies) is 30


• 1715: The first lighthouse in America was authorized for construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.

• 1827: The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston. Its pupils included John Quincy Adams and James Audubon.

• 1829: William Austin Burt of Mount Vernon, Michigan, received a patent for his typographer, a forerunner of the typewriter.

• 1903: In Detroit, Michigan, the Ford Motor Company sold its first automobile, which featured a twin-cylinder internal combustion engine designed and manufactured by Henry Ford.

• 1904: Some people say the ice cream cone was invented today by Charles E. Menches during the World’s Fair/Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis.

• 1982: Diet Coke was introduced.

• 1984: Vanessa Williams became the first Miss America to resign when she surrendered her crown after nude photos of her appeared in Penthouse magazine.

• 1994: An asteroid orbiting between Mars and Jupiter was named “Zappafrank” after rock legend Frank Zappa.

• 2003: In Ft. Worth, Texas, Fred McDugan was trying to conserve our natural resources when he walked into a Wells Fargo bank and handed the teller a holdup note written on an old sheet of paper. He got his cash and was out of the building before the teller turned the sheet over and saw just what it was. It was our Fred’s resume with a piece of black construction paper covering his name. The cops peeled away the tape and quickly made the arrest.


Hot Enough For Ya Day: 23

Vanilla Ice Cream Day


• July 28: Shark Week begins
• July 30: Second Democratic debate, in Detroit
• August 1: NFL pre-season begins
• August 1: Lollapalooza begins
• August 2: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally begins
• August 24: College football returns with two games: Florida vs. Miami and Arizona vs. Hawaii.
• September 2: Labor Day
• September 5: NFL season begins (Packers and Bears)
• September 22: Emmy Awards (Fox)