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• Joy Behar (The View) is 77

• John Mellencamp is 68

• Russian president Vladimir Putin is 67

• Simon Cowell is 60

• Omar Miller (The Unicorn, CSI: Miami) is 41


• 1968: The Motion Picture Association of America adopted a film-rating system.

• 1982: Cats opened on Broadway. It would run for nearly 18 years before closing on September 10, 2000.

• 1996: Fox News Channel made its debut.

• 1998: Matthew Shepard, a gay college student, was beaten, robbed and left tied to a wooden fence post outside Laramie, Wyoming; he died five days later.

• 2001: The U.S. invasion of Afghanistan began with an air assault and covert operations on the ground.

• 2006: A Chinese man wanted by police on gun charges gave himself up after hiding in a cave constructed at the back of his house for eight years. The 35-year-old man had tunneled the cave out of a hill behind the bedroom of his house and had put a wardrobe in front of the entrance as a disguise. The man left the cave during the day to read, wash and watch television in the house, but went back into it at night. He told his wife he was hiding from debt collectors. He gave himself up to police after no longer being able to cope with the “psychological pressure”.


• Customer Service Week

• Drive Safely Work Week

• Financial Planning Week

• Chocolate Covered Pretzel Day

• Bathtub Day

• Bald and Free Day


• October 11: Nobel Peace Prize winner announced
• October 11: National League Championship Series starts
• October 12: American League Championship Series starts
• October 13: Chicago Marathon
• October 27: Diwali
• October 31: Halloween (a Thursday)
• November 3: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 11: Veterans Day
• November 13: Country Music Association Awards
• November 28: Thanksgiving
• November 29: Black Friday
• November 30: Small Business Saturday
• December 20: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker hits theaters
• February 2: Super Bowl


15,325: Times the average woman will wash her hair. Men will wash their hair an extra 2,700 times.


In the WNBA, the general manager of the Los Angeles Sparks was fired after she delivered an insulting, offensive locker room talk. [Locker room talk is no good in today’s world unless, of course, you plan to run for re-election.]

A high school cheerleader in Texas jumped off a parade float to save a choking two-year-old child by performing the Heimlich Maneuver. [The cheerleaders at my high school thought the Heimlich Maneuver was when Todd Heimlich was taking them home and would pretend that his car had run out of gas.]

The birthrate for twins in the U.S. has fallen over the past few years. [The good news is that means that we won’t see any more of those identical sister sitcoms.]

Five months ago in Australia, a kangaroo was spotted with a bucket on his head. Then he disappeared. Now he has reappeared still with the bucket on his head. [At this point, you have to conclude that it’s less an accident and more a lifestyle.]

Girl Scouts in Texas were trapped for over three hours in an elevator. [But it gave them the perfect opportunity to earn their merit badges for bladder control.]

In New Zealand, a moose needed help getting out of a family’s swimming pool. [He was shy because he had lost his bathing suit.]

Two sisters-in-law in India set a new world record by running backward for 13 hours and 33 miles. [Now that’s something you don’t hear about very often. I mean, in-laws getting along.]

The Mayor of Atlantic City resigned after pleading guilty to stealing $87,000 from a youth basketball program. [It’s this sort of thing that could guarantee him an induction into the Politicians Hall of Fame.]

The people at Sesame Street are launching a new late night talk show hosted by Elmo. [In preparation for the show, he’s changing his name to Jimmy.]

The McRib is back. [Already? I just got finished digesting the one I ate last year.]


52-FOOT ASTEROID WILL SKIM EARTH ON TUESDAY _ A small asteroid, one that was only recently discovered, will come extremely close to Earth Tuesday. Hurtling through the space at 26,000 mph, the tiny rock will scrape past our planet, coming nearly as close as the moon. The interesting thing the asteroid is that it almost slipped past NASA’s radar. The object was picked up by NASA asteroid trackers on October 5.

GIANT ASTEROID WILL SHOOT PAST EARTH LATER THIS MONTH _ On October 25 planet Earth is in for a momentous close encounter with a massive asteroid. Known as asteroid 1998 HL1, the giant space rock is estimated to be as much as 3,250 feet wide and has been labeled by NASA as potentially dangerous. The formidable space rock will swoop in for a close approach to Earth, barreling past our planet at a break-neck speed of a little over 25,000 mph.

… Oh, wait, NASA assures us that there’s no reason to panic, as the asteroid will only come within a few million miles from Earth.

CHINA IS BREEDING GIANT PIGS THE SIZE OF POLAR BEARS _ In a farm deep in the southern region of China lives a very big pig that’s as heavy as a polar bear. The 1,102 pound animal is part of a herd that’s being bred to become giant swine. It’s an extreme example of the lengths farmers are going to fill China’s pork shortage problem.

MANY BOSSES OKAY WITH PLAYING HOOKY _ 63 percent of employers surveyed recently said they allowed employees to use paid sick days for “mental health days.”

FAKE SICK DAYS HOLDING STEADY _ The number of employees calling in sick to work with fake excuses is holding steady at one-third among U.S. workers each year. Most employers typically do not question absences, but 15 percent said they fired an employee for missing work without a legitimate excuse this year.

OKLAHOMA WOMAN APPARENTLY SHOT BY DOG _ An Oklahoma woman suffered a gunshot wound from her Labrador retriever. Tina Springer was shot by the dog when she and the older gentleman she serves as an aide to were waiting for a train to pass.

… Officials believe the dog bounded from the vehicle’s backseat onto the console, causing a gun to discharge. The bullet lodged Springer’s left thigh.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: How did your pet injure you?

A CLOSE-KNIT FAMILY AND LAUGHTER ARE AMONG THE SECRETS TO HAPPINESS _ A close-knit family, laughter, and a good cup of coffee or tea are among the secrets to happiness, according to a new survey.

  1. Laughter
  2. Having a good relationship with your family
  3. Being fit and healthy
  4. Getting enough sleep
  5. Seeing your loved ones regularly
  6. Financial security
  7. Having a significant other
  8. Being able to laugh at yourself
  9. Making others happy
  10. Being able to forgive yourself for your own mistakes
  11. Being polite
  12. Having a close group of friends
  13. Having a hobby
  14. Going on vacation at least once a year
  15. Being able to forgive others
  16. Having a pet
  17. Spending time with the kids
  18. Living close to your family
  19. A good cup of coffee/tea
  20. Reading

TRAPPERS CAPTURE RECORD-SETTING PYTHON IN EVERGLADES _ Florida trappers have captured a huge python in the Everglades. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the 18-foot, 4-inch-long female python weighed 98 pounds and 10 ounces. The agency says it is the second-largest python ever caught in the wild in Florida.

… Hunters are encouraged to remove the invasive snakes from the Everglades.

PEOPLE STUCK FOR HOURS ON DISNEY WORLD’S NEW SKYLINER CABLE CARS _ Walt Disney World park-goers were stuck for hours aboard the Florida resort’s newly launched aerial cable car system Saturday night. Firefighters were needed to get people from gondolas to the ground. Disney says the Skyliner “will be closed while we look into the details” surrounding the incident.

… The Skyliner air gondolas whisk visitors from hotels to theme parks three stories above the ground while going 11 mph. No more than 10 people are allowed in each cable car. There are almost 300 air gondolas, allowing the cabins to handle about 3,000 people an hour.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER FINED $5K FOR WEARING APPLE WATCH ON SIDELINE _ Ben Roethlisberger was fined $5,000 by the NFL for wearing an Apple Watch on the sideline last Monday night. The NFL doesn’t allow any “electric devices that transmit messaging.”

PRETZEL POP-TARTS _ Alerting all Pop-Tarts fans: the toaster pastry is set to have new flavors hitting stores very soon. The new additions will be a Pretzel Cinnamon Sugar flavor, and a Pretzel Chocolate. This news comes out of the 2019 National Association of Convenience Stores trade show convention that took place in Atlanta last week.

… Extra: Food service accounts for nearly 23% of in-store sales at convenience stores, and 56% of consumers said they purchase meals at least monthly at gas stations or convenience stores.

PRAIRIEDOG HEROES _ In Colorado, two teenage female swimmers saved a prairie dog that they found at the bottom of the pool. They got it out of the water and gave it chest compressions until it was breathing on its own.

GROOM SEXUALLY ASSAULTED WIFE’S BRIDESMAID BEFORE WEDDING _ A Pennsylvania groom has been charged with allegedly sexually assaulting his then-fiance’s bridesmaid. The assault happened while the wedding party was preparing for the celebration at a resort on August 30. The bridesmaid says they were all drinking two days before the wedding. She blacked out, and when she woke up she says her clothes were removed and Daniel Carney was fondling her. Police say a review of surveillance video from the resort shows Carney pulling the woman into the locker room and she appeared to be “extremely unsteady on her feet.” The assault stopped when the bride caught him, but the wedding went on. Police say the groom admitted to taking advantage of the bridesmaid.

… Did you read that: The wedding went on!


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN BREAKS INTO HOME, MAKES TWO MAYO SANDWICHES _ In Kentucky (Laurel County), a house was broken into early Saturday morning. The owner of the home woke up to noises coming from his kitchen and found a man making two mayonnaise sandwiches. The suspect asked the homeowner if he left the house, would the homeowner clean up the mess. The suspect then left, leaving behind a coffee mug, loose change, and his wallet with an ID.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: INTRUDER HELPS HERSELF TO COUCH _ In Pennsylvania (Altoona) Melissa Maybush was taken into custody after officers were called to a home about a person sleeping on a back porch. They found Maybush asleep on a couch inside the home.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ANKLE MONITOR REPOSSESSED _A murder suspect in Texas was at large for two weeks after he stopped making payments on his ankle monitor, and it was repossessed.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ACUPUNCTURE NEEDLE IN MAN’S BODY _ A Chinese man hospitalized with back and chest pains was found to have had an acupuncture needle lodged in his body for 40 years. Doctors initially told the 60-year-old it was “just old age” when he started developing back and chest pains, but then decided to perform an X-ray when his pain became severe. That’s when they found the needle in his stomach from acupuncture treatments he had 40 years before. Now that the one inch needle has been removed the man’s pains are gone.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THE WRONG DESIGNATED DRIVER _ Police in the UK made an unusual traffic stop. The driver was only 13 and his two passengers had multiple drunken-driving arrests. The teen was brought along to be the designated driver.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN ATTACKED BY HER BED _ In the UK, a woman was rescued after an attack by her bed. The 24-year-old spent three hours in agony after a six-inch coil speared her rear end as she moved around to get comfy. Her young son heard her cries in the night, but took an hour to find her phone. She discovered the battery was dead and he then had to hunt for a charger. She finally summoned her dad some 15 miles away. He couldn’t free his daughter and called paramedics, who then called firemen, when spent a half hour prying her off the bed spring.


THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — New. The auditions continue in this 2-hour episode.

THE NEIGHBORHOOD (8p ET, CBS) — New. Tina decides it’s time to make home improvements, and Dave volunteers to re-paint the Butler house.

DANCING WITH THE STARS (8p ET, ABC) — New. Leah Remini is the guest judge as the remaining 10 dance to a variety of hit and well-known songs.

9-1-1 (8p ET, FOX) — New. Fallout from the tsunami continues.

SEASON PREMIERE: ALL AMERICAN (8p ET, CW) — The football drama will pick up three weeks after last spring’s finale.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (8p ET, ESPN) — Cleveland Browns at San Francisco 49ers

BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA (8:30p ET, CBS) — New. Bob attempts to learn more about Nigerian customs.

ALL RISE (9p ET, CBS) — New. Lola presides over her first trial concerning cybercrimes, after two friends go head-to-head over a deleted avatar.

PRODIGAL SON (9p ET, FOX) — New. Sakina Jaffrey (House of Cards) guest stars.


BULL (10p ET, CBS) — New.

THE GOOD DOCTOR (10p ET, ABC) — New. A sports fishing accident challenges the staff as they look to treat the fisherman (guest star Robert Sean Leonard) without damaging his prize catch.

BLUFF CITY LAW (10p ET, NBC) — New. Sydney and Anthony take a case brought to them by an old professor.

CASH CAB (11:30p ET, Bravo) — The quiz show hosted by Ben Bailey is back with new episodes.


TOP TEN MOVIES _ Joker laughed its way to the bank over the weekend, opening with $93.5 million in domestic tickets. The movie made an additional $140.5 million overseas. The atypical comic-book movie is a gritty character study that won the top prize at the Venice Film Festival last month.

… Joker now stands as the biggest October launch of all time.

  1. Joker, $93.5 million
  2. Abominable, $12 million
  3. Downton Abbey, $8 million
  4. Hustlers, $6.3 million
  5. It: Chapter Two, $5.3 million
  6. Ad Astra, $4.5 million
  7. Judy, $4.4 million
  8. Rambo: Last Blood, $3.5 million
  9. War, $1.5 million
  10. Good Boys, $900,000

… One year ago this week the number one movie was Venom.
… Five years ago this week: Gone Girl.
… Ten years ago this week: Zombieland.
… Twenty years ago this week: Double Jeopardy.

… Opening next weekend: The Addams Family (PG); Gemini Man (PG-13); Jexi (R)

HOLLYWOOD A-LIST HITS RED CARPET AT TYLER PERRY’S NEW STUDIO _ Tyler Perry christened his massive new Atlanta film studio Saturday as entertainment industry bigwigs strode a red carpet to his sprawling complex for an opening gala. Oprah Winfrey, Spike Lee, Usher, Samuel L. Jackson, Halle Berry and others all helped Perry christen his new facility. The 330-acre studio once served as a Confederate army base.

THE WALKING DEAD RENEWED FOR SEASON 11 _ Lauren Cohan will return for Season 11 of AMC’s The Walking Dead. Cohan, who was last seen in Season 9, signed on to return after lengthy negotiations. Season 10 debuted last night (Sunday).

… Walking Dead spinoff unveils first trailer. The first trailer for the second spinoff of The Walking Dead has been released. There’s no title for the show yet. • VIDEO

… The series will focus on the first generation of children that have grown up during the zombie apocalypse who call themselves Endlings, and are aware of how to survive if confronted by them, but have otherwise been raised behind walls and have never actually experienced survival.

BIG BROTHER SEASON 1 CONTESTANT CASSANDRA WALDON DIES AT 56 _ In 2000, Cassandra Waldon became the first-ever contestant to enter the American Big Brother house. TMZ reports Waldon was hit by a car and suffered a head injury two months ago and never regained consciousness. She died on September 25.

ESPN’S COLLEGE GAMEDAY WILL DO FIRST INTERNATIONAL BROADCAST FROM DUBLIN _ ESPN’s College Gameday will have its first international broadcast the week before the 2020 season kicks off, covering Notre Dame’s season opener against Navy in Dublin.

ELLIE KEMPER WELCOMES HER SECOND CHILD _ Ellie Kemper, star of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, has given birth to a second son.

JUSTIN BIEBER’S WIFE SCRATCHED HIS PINK LAMBORGHINI _ Hope your weekend was better than Justin Bieber’s. The poor guy’s Lamborghini was scratched — and it was his wife who did it. On his Instastory (now expired) Justin can be heard telling Hailey, “What did you do? What did you do?” As the camera zooms in he says, “Aww, man.” Justin quickly shrugs off his wife’s error and tells her how “freakin’ cute” he thinks her pigtails are.

COMEDIAN RIP TAYLOR DEAD AT 84 _ Comedian Rip Taylor has died. Known as the “King of Confetti” and “The Crying Comedian,” Rip got his start by appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show, The Merv Griffin Show, and many other variety talk shows as a comic in the ’60s, going on to star on several different game shows as well.


Find these audio files on the PRO AUDIO PAGE.

🎧 Terry Bradshaw spills his coffee during Fox’s NFL Sunday coverage.

🎧 Weird 911 call: Guy says he has knife-hands.

🎧 Drop: You have to stop this madness!

🎧 Phoner: This one’s good to launch on Facebook. Simply post: “Fill in the blank: You’re never too old to ____.” Then use the best responses plus these quick calls to get more calls.



FB icon  Where do you live and which restaurant has the best breakfast in town?


About one in six Americans claim to have had some kind of communication with the dead.

FB icon  What message have you received from someone who’s passed away?


• If a batter fails two-thirds of the time, they’re still considered an excellent batter. It’s too bad this standard isn’t applied to everything else in life.

• If you aren’t such a good hitter, you can have a pinch hitter bat for you. If you aren’t such a fast runner, you can have someone — a pinch runner — come in and run for you. At what point, you might wonder, is a team entirely comprised of “pinch” players?

• There’s a rule preventing pitchers from spitting on the ball. They can spit anywhere else they like, apparently.

• If a batter walks with the bases loaded, he is credited with an RBI (Run Batted In). That’s right: even though he didn’t hit the ball.

• The game is played on dirt and grass, but if the ball gets dirty, it is replaced with a new clean ball.

• The coaches and managers wear the same uniforms as the players.

• The 7th-inning stretch makes baseball the only sport where spectators must take part in calisthenics.


If you want to maintain your dignity — or, at the very least, increase your chances for a good-night kiss — here are a few foodstuffs to avoid during an early-in-the-relationship date:

• Spinach — The king of all stick-in-your-teeth veggies. I defy you to eat it without getting a hunk wedged in your molars. The bummer is that spinach totally yummy. Sigh…

• Lobster — Do you really want to wear a bib on your first date?

• Beans — After all, they are the musical fruit.

• Ribs — Let’s face it, no matter how awesome your outfit may be, or how excellent your hair looks, you can’t come off as cool or suave with a face covered in barbecue sauce and a row of teeth filled with bits of “the other white meat.”

• Crab — Same basic principle as ribs, except sans BBQ sauce.

• Onion soup — Or for that matter, anything with onions.

• Corn on the cob — Like spinach, this stuff gets lodged in your teeth; like crab and ribs, you can’t help but look semi-dorkish when you eat it.


Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t eat out, right? After all, you’re in control over what you order and how much of it you eat or drink. And where you sit in the restaurant has no bearing on your health. Think again. According to food psychologist Brian Wasink we may be fooling ourselves into a false sense of self-control when it comes to dining out. His book Slim By Design, Wasink suggests a strong connection between several factors in a restaurant and the number of calories a patron consumes. Visiting 27 restaurants around the country, Wasink and his team mapped and measured the layout of every one. They also collected nightly dinner receipts for three months from each of the restaurants.

A sampling of his observations:

• People who sat in well-lit sections or window-adjacent parts of restaurants were more likely to order healthier food

• People who sat in dark tables or comfortable booths were more likely to order heavier food (and more of it)

• People were 73% more likely to order dessert at tables farthest from the front door

• Sitting closer to the bar (within two tables) resulted in a table ordering an average of three or more alcoholic drinks, compared to tables that were further away from the bottle-slinging action

• Diners near TVs ate more fried foods compared to people sitting in other areas of the restaurant

• Salads were more frequently ordered (and dessert less so) at high-top tables with less surface area

… So it looks like if you’re trying to stay healthy while dining out, you should sit at a high table near the door or a window. Pick a well-lit place, and avoid plush seats and the bar.


TRIVIA: 2.4 billion cans of this are sold annually. (Tuna fish)

TRIVIA: Half of us haven’t changed this in three or more years. (Voice mail message)

TRIVIA: The opening-day sales total at the very first one of these was $366.12. (McDonald’s)

TRIVIA: Thirty-five percent of people say they would marry for this. (Money)


• What you use to wipe a runny nose.

• What you put into and then fire out of guns.

• An event you’d see at the Olympics.

• Something you can deduct from your taxes.

• Something you might do while vacationing at a lake.

• Something you would keep in your car’s glove box.



• Paul Hogan is 80

• Chevy Chase is 76

• Author R.L. Stine (Goosebumps) is 76

• Sigourney Weaver is 70

• Karyn Parsons (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) is 53

• Emily Procter (CSI: Miami) is 51

• Matt Damon is 49

• Nick Cannon is 39

• Bruno Mars is 34

• Angus T. Jones (Two and a Half Men) is 26

• Bella Thorne is 22


• 1818: Two English boxers became the first to use padded gloves.

• 1956: Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitched the first perfect game in the history of the World Series.

• 1964: Ringo Starr took and passed his driving test.

• 2001: President George W. Bush announced the establishment of the Office of Homeland Security.

• 2005: A Bulgarian became the first ever European Heavyweight Chessboxing Champion. Tihomir ‘Tiger’ Titschko walked off with the title at the Chessboxing Championships in Germany.

• 2015: Actress and singer Selena Gomez revealed she has Lupus.


• Face Your Fears Day

• Pierogy Day

• Salmon Day

• World Octopus Day

• Fluffernutter Day


• October 11: Nobel Peace Prize winner announced
• October 11: National League Championship Series starts
• October 12: American League Championship Series starts
• October 13: Chicago Marathon
• October 27: Diwali
• October 31: Halloween (a Thursday)
• November 3: Daylight Saving Time ends
• November 11: Veterans Day
• November 13: Country Music Association Awards
• November 28: Thanksgiving
• November 29: Black Friday
• November 30: Small Business Saturday
• December 20: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker hits theaters
• February 2: Super Bowl