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• TV journalist Sam Donaldson is 86

• Elias Koteas (Chicago P.D.) is 59

• Terrence Howard (Empire, Iron Man) is 51

• Johnny Knoxville is 49

• Thora Birch (American Beauty) is 38

• TV personality Melissa Rycroft is 37


• 1897: A meteorite entered the earth’s atmosphere and exploded over New Martinsville, West Virginia. The debris caused damage but no human injuries were reported.

• 1993: Janet Reno was confirmed by the United States Senate and sworn-in the next day, becoming the first female Attorney General of the United States.

• 1997: Former Beatle Paul McCartney was knighted.

• 2002: Two columns of light soared skyward from ground zero in New York as a temporary memorial to the victims of the Sept. 11 attacks.

• 2004: Ten bombs exploded in quick succession across the commuter rail network in Madrid, Spain, killing 191 people and wounding more than 2,000 in an attack linked to al-Qaida.

• 2005: A 38-year-old truck driver in Japan was arrested for allegedly making more than 10,000 prank calls to telephone information. Instead of asking for telephone numbers, the man asked female operators incidental questions and asked them out on dates.

• 2018: Black Panther became the fifth Marvel movie to earn $1 billion worldwide.


• Johnny Appleseed Day

• Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day

• Registered Dietitian Day

• World Plumbing Day

• Eat Your Noodles Day


871,496: Miles of roads constructed in the U.S. between 1950 and 2017.


Walmart will pay is employees for the two weeks they’re not at work with coronavirus. [And for the two weeks I can’t shop at Walmart will they bring a wobbly shopping cart to my home to push around my living room?]

The stock market jumped up Tuesday, one day after the biggest selloff since the 2008 financial crisis. [To be honest, I’m feeling rich again. I plan to supersize my drive-thru meal today.]

The number of coronavirus cases in the U.S. is close to 1,000, with 70 of them tied to a biotech conference that took place in Boston. [See mom! If I’d gone to college I would have a degree that would require me to go to conferences with large groups of people who want to shake hands!]

With a presidential election about eight months away, roughly 39 percent of Americans say they would choose to vote from their computer or mobile device if possible. [Preferably in an app called Candy Crush: Election 2020.]

A survey reveals that the iPhone is addictive. [I’d read the punchline, but I’m too busy playing with my iPhone.]

According to new research, healthy men have better sex than healthy women. [But neither gender likes doing it on a bed of lettuce.]

The Dyson company — famous for vacuum cleaners — is now selling a $500 hair straightener. [For the women in my audience: For $100 and a can of Mountain Dew I’ll press your hair flat with two large dictionaries.]


🦠 CORONAVIRUS TRACKER _ The latest U.S. numbers and world numbers.

WHY CANCELLING EVENTS IS IMPORTANT _ In their response to the coronavirus outbreak, public health experts and government officials have repeatedly referenced the importance of “flattening the curve.” But what does this mean? Covid-19 appears to be more infectious than the common flu and the cause of a higher rate of deaths. But these numbers aren’t set in stone, with the differing pattern of the virus’ spread in various countries showing that interventions can make a big difference.

… Without protective measures to slow the spread of Covid-19, there is likely to be a large spike in infections in a short period of time. A big goal of public health officials now is to avoid a huge peak in Covid-19 cases in favor of a slower growth that becomes a moderate plateau. Infections still occur, but over a longer period — and “flattening the curve” turns the steep mountain of cases into a more sedate small hill. • HELPFUL IMAGE FROM

… This more gentle increase in cases gives health systems the time to adapt and absorb the new patients, ensure that the virus is not spread further and effectively treat the most vulnerable. Many of the measures we have seen around the world to restrict travel and large gatherings are aimed at ensuring coronavirus does not run riot.

HAND WASHING TRUE OR FALSE _ Quiz a cohost! We’re a few weeks into the massive story that is coronavirus. By now the entire globe should know how to properly wash hands. Please take my quiz to see if you’re informed.

• You should scrub your hands for no less than 60 seconds. (False. 20 seconds is the minimum.)

• Warm or hot water is better than cold for washing hands. (False. Cold, warm or hot is fine as long as you’re using soap.)

• Soap and water is the best way to get rid of more germs. (True. Even better than hand sanitizers.)

• It’s OK if you skip washing the backs of your hands. (False. Wash all of your hand.)

• You don’t need to buy antibacterial soap. (True. Regular soap works fine.)

GOOGLE RECOMMENDS ALL NORTH AMERICA EMPLOYEES WORK FROM HOME _ Google is recommending that all of its tens of thousands of North American employees work from home, its latest move to try and protect its employees from the growing coronavirus outbreak. On Tuesday, the search giant sent out a memo to its workforce informing that it was now changing its policies to recommend all workers who are able to work remotely do so until at least April 10. The majority of Google’s 100,000-plus employees are based in North America.

LAWMAKERS ADVISED TO GIVE STAR TREK GREETING _ Lawmakers on Capitol Hill must now deal not only with the threat of coronavirus to the American public, but also the risks they themselves face from the virus as it continues to spread. The disease was a topic of discussion during a closed-door meeting of the House Democratic caucus on Tuesday morning with members receiving advice on how to interact with others as the virus spreads.

.. The attending physician asked members to stop touching during personal greetings, suggesting that members instead use the “live long and prosper sign,” a light-hearted reference to a salute and greeting accompanied by a hand gesture in the television series Star Trek.

BOSTON ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE CANCELED _ The St. Patrick’s Day parade in Boston typically draws large crowds. Not this year. The parade has been canceled amid a growing national COVID-19 outbreak. Boston Mayor Marty Walsh announced Tuesday: “This decision is being made out of an abundance of caution to ensure that we are doing what is needed to keep the residents of Boston safe and healthy.” The parade was scheduled for Sunday.

… This comes after Dublin, Ireland, canceled its St. Patrick’s Day parade. According to Fodor’s, the largest St. Patrick’s Day parade in the world isn’t in Boston or Dublin. It’s in New York, and it’s still on as of Tuesday.

WALMART DEPLOYS NEW EMERGENCY LEAVE POLICY _ Walmart said Tuesday it is deploying an emergency employee leave program as the retailer confirms one of its store associates in Cynthiana, Kentucky, has tested positive for the coronavirus. The infected employee is a woman and Walmart said she is improving with medical care.

… Walmart is the nation’s largest private employer with 1.5 million workers in the U.S. There are three major scenarios Walmart outlines for the new emergency leave policy to apply.

• The first allows employees to stay home if he or she is unable to work or feels “uncomfortable” at work, by waiving its attendance policy through the end of April. While the normal attendance policy will not be enforced in this circumstance, in order to have the leave paid, associates must use their regular paid time-off options.

• Second, if a store, club, office or distribution center fall under a mandated quarantine by either the government or Walmart, or if an individual employee has been told they need be quarantined, these employees will receive up to two weeks of pay and associated absences will not count against attendance.

• Third, if an individual associate becomes ill with a confirmed case of the coronavirus, the associate will receive two weeks pay. If the associate is unable to return to work after those two weeks, additional pay replacement may be available for up to 26 weeks for both full- and part-time hourly associates.

KEEP TOUCHING YOUR FACE? A PET STORE SUGGESTS CONES FOR CORONAVIRUS _ If you can’t stop touching your face amid coronavirus concerns, one Michigan pet supply company has a recommendation: the cone of shame. Mike Palmer, owner of Premier Pet Supply, put on a recovery cone — typically used to keep dogs from scratching or biting injuries — in a company Facebook post. His public service announcement: Pet cones, available at his company’s eight locations, could help patrons follow the recommendation from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to prevent the spread of the novel coronavirus by not touching their face. • IMAGE

NASHVILLE MAN PROPOSES IN TORNADO-RAVAGED HOME _ The Nashville-area tornadoes have left people feeling broken and hopeless. But one Nashville man wasn’t going to let it ruin everything that he and his girlfriend had worked to build. After spending countless hours cleaning out what possessions they had left, whatever they could salvage from their battered home, he wanted to make one last happy memory. As they were saying goodbye to their home, Buster Hughes got down on one knee and proposed to the love of his life. Bride-to-be Caitlin shared on social media: “The last moment in our home… was actually a beautiful one.”

APPLE MAY LET YOU TAKE BACK THAT TEXT MESSAGE _ If you’ve ever mistakenly sent a text message to the wrong person in your iPhone’s contacts, Apple may be working on a new feature you’ll appreciate. The company is reportedly testing a new feature that would let iPhone owners retract messages sent through iMessage, Apple’s texting service that’s built into the iPhone’s Messages app. When a message is retracted, both the sender and recipient would be notified via fine print in the thread.

… It’s unclear, however, whether there will be a time limit as there is with Gmail. On Google’s email service, you can adjust your settings to choose whether you’d like to have the option of rescinding an email five, 10, 20, or 30 seconds after it’s been sent. Since this would be an iMessage feature, this capability would likely only work when sending texts to another iPhone, iPad, or Mac user — not those using Android devices.

DYSON WANTS TO SELL YOU A $499 HAIR STRAIGHTENER _ Vacuum and hand dryer company Dyson has unveiled the Corrale, a cordless hair straightener. Dyson already sells other products like the Supersonic and Airwrap, which focus on drying the hair. The Corrale is meant to be used on already dry hair to smooth, straighten, and style. The price is $499.

WHAT AMERICANS HOPE TO SEE CHANGE IN THEIR LIFETIME _ What would you like to see the United States achieve in your lifetime? A new survey of Americans found over half want to see affordable health care and access to quality education (51 percent each). Forty-two percent of those surveyed also said they want to see dedication to 100 percent renewable energy in their lifetime. Other dreams for America included no firearm-related deaths (30 percent), no government corruption (28 percent) and no homelessness (26 percent). Nearly a quarter of those surveyed also said they would like to see poverty eradicated in their lifetime.

… The survey also asked about the American dream. At the top, still, is owning your own home (56 percent), followed by owning a car (53 percent), having a family (50 percent), starting your own business (43 percent), and paying off student loans (40 percent).

COULD MONEY BUY HAPPINESS AFTER ALL? _ Does money really buy happiness? It appears to, at least for a small group of German college students who participated in a study on the connection between happiness and altruism, the selfless concern for the well-being of others. The study found the act of donating money to save a life produced happiness at first, but the effects didn’t last. After a month, students who donated money were less happy than those who choose to keep the money for themselves.

… The new study does fly in the face of past research on the effects of putting the well-being of others before our own without expecting anything in return. Prior analyses of brain scans found giving stimulates the reward centers of the brain, flooding out system with feel-good chemicals that produce what is knows as a “helper’s high.” Volunteering, for example, has been shown to minimize stress, improve depression, reduce the risk for cognitive impairment — even help us live longer One reason for this, experts say, is because giving to others contributes to our sense of community and belonging. And that, studies have found, is a key contributor to a healthy, longer life.

ABSENCE MAKES MEN WANT THEIR SPOUSES MORE _ Research shows the longer men stay away from their spouses, the more attractive those spouses become (Florida Atlantic University). Researchers say an ancient survival instinct in men makes them find their spouses more attractive after an absence so they will be more inclined to breed when they get home. The absence also makes men more fertile. Sort of nature’s way of making up for lost time. Women do not feel the same way.

WHY ALARMS SNOOZE FOR 9 MINUTES INSTEAD OF 10 _ Mornings are rough, but hitting snooze can make that ungodly hour seem just a little more bearable. At the push of a button, you give yourself permission to stay snuggled under the covers for another blissful nine minutes. But why do snooze buttons automatically set for that long instead of an even ten?

… Alarm clocks were introduced to snooze buttons in 1956 with General Electric-Telechron’s Snooz-Alarm. That model’s snooze lasted nine minutes, and there are a few theories as to why. Alarm clocks did exist before the snooze function, so there was already a standard gear setup that innovators had to work with. Getting the gear teeth to line up to allow for exactly ten minutes wasn’t possible, so they had to choose between nine minutes and a few seconds or a little bit over ten minutes.

… Here’s where the theories start to differ. Some people say reports in the 1950s suggested ten minutes was enough for drowsy people to fall back into deep sleep. That would mean they’d wake up cranky again, so nine minutes was the sweet spot between more time in bed without letting it get out of hand.

… The most common theory seems to come down to simplicity. A double-digit snooze would be harder to program than a single-digit one, so designers figured the less complicated design was the way to go.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: THREE QUARTERS OF US ARE DONE WITH MOVING THE CLOCKS _ Daylight Saving Time started Sunday and it could take some of you up to two weeks to find your groove again. According to a survey, 75% of us are done with moving clocks forward and backward.


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ANGRY DOG GETS REVENGE ON DRIVER _ In China a stray dog was kicked by a guy because the dog was lying in his parking lot. After the guy parked his car, the dog vanished but came back later with a few of his pack and damaged the car by biting it. The dogs bit the wheels and windshield wipers.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: OLD WOMAN BANNED FROM WEDDINGS _ A court in Turkey imposed an unusual penalty on a 77-year-old woman for not paying her electric bill. She was banned from attending weddings. The woman was ordered to pay her outstanding bill and, for reasons the court didn’t give, forbidden from attending weddings for five months.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN PAYS BAIL WITH SMELLY CASH _ A Louisiana woman was arrested on drug charges after police determined the $5,000 cash she used to post an inmate’s bail had a “strong odor of marijuana.” After catching a whiff of the cash, a detective searched Stormy Lynn Parfait’s car while she was still at the jail and found nearly $40,000 more in cash inside, along with 100 pills and a food stamp card that wasn’t registered to Parfait.



MODERN FAMILY (8p ET, ABC) — Before the April 8th series finale, ABC presents an 8-episode marathon of repeats tonight, starting with the pilot episode.

THE MASKED SINGER (8p ET, FOX) — New. Six new celebrities take the stage for their first performances of the season.

RIVERDALE (8p ET, CW) — New.

SEAL TEAM (9p ET, CBS) — New. NASCAR driver Austin Dillon guest stars as himself.

LEGO MASTERS (9p ET, FOX) — New. The teams must build a car and a bridge that will be stress tested for strength.

NANCY DREW (9p ET, CW) — New.

S.W.A.T. (10p ET, CBS) — New. Former professional boxer Laila Ali guest stars as herself. Bill Bellamy also guest stars.

SEASON PREMIERE: DIRTY MONEY (Netflix) — The second season of this docu-series begins.

SEASON PREMIERE: ON MY BLOCK (Netflix) — This teen-themed series returns for a third season.


DANIEL RADCLIFFE DOES NOT HAVE CORONAVIRUS _ Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe does not have coronavirus, OK? A fake Twitter account claimed Tuesday that Radcliffe had fallen ill with COVID-19. The bogus account, with the handle @BBCNewsTonight, links back to an old page and is not affiliated with the British news organization.

… The tweet has been taken down.

SYLVESTER STALLONE WEARS GLOVES WHILE BUYING GROCERIES _ Sylvester Stallone is taking extra safety measures while buying groceries. In photos shared by TMZ, the 73-year-old actor is seen buying groceries at Whole Foods in Los Angeles while wearing latex gloves.

… In February, actresses Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson shared selfies of themselves on their respective Instagram accounts wearing face masks as they both traveled on a plane. Paltrow captioned her photo with: “I’ve already been in this movie. Stay safe. Don’t shake hands. Wash hands frequently.”

FALCON AND WINTER SOLDIER FILMING IN PRAGUE HALTED _ Filming on the Disney+ series Falcon & Winter Soldier has been shut down in Prague due to concerns over the coronavirus. The move comes after the Czech government placed a ban on movie screenings, elementary and high school classes, sports matches, and cultural events. The Prague Film Festival has also been canceled. Falcon and Winter Soldier began filming in Prague last week, but the cast and crew have now been recalled to Atlanta.

… This is the second time filming on the series has been interrupted. In January, the show was due to shoot in Puerto Rico but was forced to postpone shooting after the commonwealth was hit by a series of powerful earthquakes.

RYAN MURPHY TEASES AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASON 10 _ Ryan Murphy has released the first poster for Season 10 of American Horror Story and its clearly teasing a haunting new seaside theme. In the photo, which Murphy posted to Instagram Tuesday, we see a pair of grimy hands resting on the banks of some nasty looking beach. • IMAGE

… Last month, Murphy revealed the Season 10 cast, which includes series newcomer Macaulay Culkin, as well as AHS alums Kathy Bates, Evan Peters, Leslie Grossman, Billie Lourd, Sarah Paulson, Adina Porter, Lily Rabe, Angelica Ross and Finn Wittrock.

BRIE LARSON FACING BACKLASH OVER HER NEW FEMINISM COMMERCIAL _ Captain Marvel actress Brie Larson is facing ridiculous criticism after starring in a new Nissan commercial aimed at empowering women. The “Refuse to Compromise” commercial begins with a male boss denying a female employee a promotion, quickly followed by Larson showing up in one of Nissan’s new Sentras and demanding that the employee drop her lunch and join in on a joy ride. As they drive around town, Larson shows off all the new features of the vehicle while giving the girl a lesson in not accepting compromises. By the end, the young lady is empowered and ready to demand that promotion from her boss. • VIDEO

… Many have taken to the video to complain of the very clear feminist agenda, citing it as a reason they won’t ever purchase another Nissan vehicle. Most feel as though it’s a manipulative commercial that takes no account of the female worker’s job performance or even asks whether she deserves to be promoted, instead simply pushing the narrative that the male boss was a sexist who only denied her the promotion because she’s a girl.

NBC NEWS MULLS ‘TODAY’ AS AN ALL-DAY STREAMING EXPERIENCE _ NBC is considering turning its morning Today Show into an all-day streaming service. The idea is said to be in the early stages of development.

KIDS COUNT _ In order to ensure that parents make sure their kids get counted in the forthcoming U.S. census, Sesame Street is enlisting the aid of Elmo, Rosita, and Count von Count. It’s estimated that 4.6 percent of children under the age of five were not counted in the 2010 census, an undercounting of one million kids.

BRAD PITT ON DREW AND JONATHAN SCOTT’S NEW HGTV SHOW _ The new HGTV reality show Celebrity IOU follows Property Brothers stars Drew and Jonathan as the help celebrities with a special renovation. According to E! News, Oscar winner Brad Pitt will have a cameo in an episode. Drew and Jonathan won’t be redoing Pitt’s home, however. Instead, Pitt is “coming through with surprise home renovations to express deep gratitude to individuals who have had a major impact on their lives.”

DEEPFAKE: WILLEM DAFOE AS HANNIBAL LECTER _ Deepfakes are “synthetic media” in which a person in an existing image or video is replaced with someone else’s likeness. When it comes to political messages faked and shared on social media, deepfakes can be dangerous. But for movie fans, they can be fun. Like the ones being created by a YouTube channel (Ctrl Shift Face). It’s latest video puts Willem Dafoe into Silence of the Lambs as Hannibal Lecter. • VIDEO



1. Grill grate. Instead of scrubbing the grate after using it, leave the grill on high with the cover on for 15 minutes. Residue will cook away.

2. Shower curtain liner. Liners are so cheap that laundering them to remove mildew is a waste of time. Just replace your liner every six months.

3. Pillow. After washing and drying a pillow, it’ s never quite the same. Instead, throw it out and buy a new one every six months.

4. Making the bed. Microscopic dust mites — a leading cause of allergies — thrive on moisture in your mattress and bedcovers. Leaving the bed unmade allows moisture to escape. If you really can’t stand an unmade bed, then use a comforter instead of a top sheet and bedspread. Just shake out the comforter, and you’re done.

5. Waxing the car. Newer cars have tough finishes that don’t need wax for protection.


Hiring managers look through an average of 250 resumes for every corporate job opening. Often, it only takes a matter of seconds for them to decide if they should read deeper than a quick bullet point scan. It turns out that there are some very specific things that job recruiters look for, so sprinkle these words throughout your resume to frame yourself right.

IMPROVED – Every system can be improved, even if no one realizes it yet. Has your work improved your company or operating procedures? Keep track of improvements made through your efforts, and shed some light on them. Someone who improves things at the company cares about things at the company. And an employee who really cares will be a trusted and welcome figure at any company.

… For example: “I improved the system for collecting money each week to restock the break room freezer with Hot Pockets.”

TRAINED (OR MENTORED) – Words like these show that you have leadership experience and qualities and that you have the potential to be more than just another “follower” employee. Make sure to highlight times you’ve had the pleasure of leading a team or showing a newbie the ropes of the new job. Your future employer may just be looking for capable people who can be molded into the future of the company.

… For example: “I mentored one of new employees in how to refill the boss’s bathroom TP dispenser with 3-play so I wouldn’t have to anymore.”

CREATED – Many people simply follow the status quo, never thinking that the system can be improved. If you’ve come up with ideas that streamlined or improved processes and systems, give yourself a shout-out here. Creating takes an ability to see what’s lacking (and where), out-of-the-box thinking and initiative–and drives individuals and businesses to new heights.

… For example: “I created a streamlined process for making it appear that I was at work but away from my cubicle while I was really at (local bar). I’m able to set up the charade each day at 10:45 in about 7 minutes.”

INCREASED or DECREASED – This provides quantifiable evidence of your success. Since numbers don’t lie, this gives potential employers a tangible look at what you’re capable of, and how you might help their business thrive.

.. For example: “I decreased the number of times our manager wanted us to increase the number of times he wanted us to mop the floor by making the mop disappear.”

VOLUNTEERED – Before you think your volunteer experience doesn’t count for anything, know this. Highlighting unpaid experiences (or times you volunteered to help out on the job when it wasn’t required) shows that you will help out wherever you can to achieve the bigger picture.

… For example: “I volunteered to leave work by 2PM every Friday, even if the boss wasn’t asking for volunteers.”


According to three different websites!

According to ResumeCoach these are the happiest jobs in America:

5. Real Estate Agent
4. HR Manager
3. Construction Manager
2. IT Consultant
1. Teaching Assistant

According to CareerBliss these are the happiest jobs in America:

5. Research Assistant
4. Automation Engineer
3. Loan Officer
2. Executive Chef
1. School Principal

And according to Forbes these are the happiest jobs in America:

5. Senior Application Developer
4. Construction Superintendent
3. Senior Sales Representative
2. Senior Quality Assurance Engineer
1. Real Estate Agent


TRIVIA: There are over 1,000 YouTube channels dedicated to what? (Barbie the doll)

TRIVIA: 20 million acres of what fruit are planted worldwide? (Grapes)

TRIVIA: His last meal was four scoops of ice cream and six chocolate chip cookies. (Elvis Presley’s)


I’ll give you part of a movie title, you mess it up by filling in the blank with the wrong word.

• Spider-Man: Far from (blank)

• Star Wars: The Last (blank)

• (blank) or High Water

• A (blank) Is Born

• Avengers: (blank) War



• Barbara Feldon (Get Smart) is 87

• Liza Minnelli is 74

• James Taylor is 72

• Courtney B. Vance (Law & Order,  The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story) is 60

• Aaron Eckhart (Midway, Sully, The Dark Knight) is 52

• Jaimie Alexander (Blindspot) is 36


• 1876: Alexander Graham Bell successfully spoke the first words on a telephone by calling for his assistant.

• 1894: Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time.

• 1912: The Girl Guides (later renamed the Girl Scouts of the USA) were founded in the U.S.

• 2004: Julia Roberts was arrested for dealing crack. Not the actress. The 96-year-old North Carolina woman was busted along with a few younger relatives/cohorts for running a drug operation out of her home.

• 2008: After it was revealed that he’d been involved with a prostitute, New York Governor Elliot Spitzer announced he would resign .

• 2018: Burger King unveiled the Bacon King sandwich with two quarter pound burgers and eight slices of bacon. Nutrition critics slammed the burger’s: 1,150.


• World Kidney Day

• Popcorn Lovers Day

• Plant a Flower Day

• Ranch Dressing Day