• Jackie Mason is 92
• Dick Vitale is 81
• Michael J. Fox is 59
• Johnny Depp is 57
• Gloria Reuben (The Agency, ER) is 56
• Natalie Portman is 39
• Mae Whitman (Parenthood, Arrested Development) is 32
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1790: Philadelphia Spelling Book by John Barry became the first book to be copyrighted in the United States.
• 1869: Charles Elmer Hires sold his first root beer in Philadelphia.
• 1909: Alice Huyler Ramsey, a 22-year-old housewife and mother from Hackensack, New Jersey, became the first woman to drive across the United States. With three female companions, none of whom could drive a car, for fifty-nine days she drove a Maxwell automobile the 3,800 miles from Manhattan, New York, to San Francisco, California.
• 1915: Les Paul was born in Waukesha, Wisconsin. In the 1940s and ’50s he transformed popular music by inventing the modern solid-body electric guitar.
• 1980: Comedian Richard Pryor suffered near-fatal burns at his home when a mixture of “free-base” cocaine exploded.
• 1986: The Rogers Commission released its report on the Challenger disaster, criticizing NASA and rocket-builder Morton Thiokol for management problems leading to the explosion that claimed the lives of seven astronauts.
• 1994: In North Yorkshire, England, car thieves stole British Home Secretary Michael Howard’s bulletproof car while he was a attending a meeting of police chiefs. The car was found later minus all four wheels.
• 2011: In Riyadh, Saudia Arabia, six women were arrested for practicing driving in an empty car lot.
• Call Your Doctor Day
• Donald Duck Day
• Pet Memorial Day
• Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie Day
6.8: Miles down to the lowest point on Earth, Challenger Deep at the bottom of the western Pacific Ocean.
Health researchers say an average cinnamon pastry can have as much fat as two pork chops with mashed potatoes. [And that’s a problem because…?]
Health researchers say an average cinnamon pastry can have as much fat as two pork chops with mashed potatoes. [What they’re saying is, for breakfast you should eat one pork chip with mashed potatoes.]
A woman in California stole an ambulance and then totaled it. [Then she stole the tow truck.]
A treasure hidden ten years ago by an antiquities collector in the Rocky Mountains has been found. [It was under a Taco Bell wrapper.]
A monkey in Kenya fell onto a transformer at the main electrical plant and knocked out power for nearly four hours. Fortunately, the monkey survived. [But now he only has a taste for FRIED bananas.]
Father’s Day is a couple of weeks away. [Dads would like to be socially distanced from the in-laws who moved in at the start of the pandemic.]
Hotels are trying to lure back customers by emphasizing how clean they are. [Some are even cleaning their TV remotes once a week.]
Hotels are trying to lure back customers by emphasizing how clean they are. [They’re removing door handles. You’re now encouraged to kick your hotel room door in.]
Hotels are now enticing customers by offering gift cards and other freebies. [Or you can trade the gift card for an upgrade to a room without bedbugs.]
AMAZON WORKER LOSES ENGAGEMENT RING WHILE PACKING BOXES _ A worker at an Amazon warehouse in Wales is asking customers to check their packages for the engagement ring that fell off her finger at work. 18-year-old Jasmine Paget said she and her fiance, fellow Amazon worker Josh Phillips, searched the warehouse after the ring fell off her finger while she was packing boxes Saturday. Paget said the warehouse manager temporarily stopped work on the floor to search the warehouse and trucks, but employees were unable to locate the ring.
TREASURE CHEST WORTH $1M FOUND HIDDEN IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS _ A treasure chest full of gold, jewelry and other valuables worth $1 million was found in the Rocky Mountains, according to the man who hid it there more than a decade ago. Art dealer and author Forrest Fenn confirmed that “the search is over” in an announcement on his website. Fenn said he didn’t know the person who claimed the treasure, but a poem in his book led him to its hiding spot.
… Fenn said, “It was under a canopy of stars in the lush, forested vegetation of the Rocky Mountains and had not moved from the spot where I hid it more than 10 years ago. I congratulate the thousands of people who participated in the search and hope they will continue to be drawn by the promise of other discoveries.”
… The 89-year-old told the Santa Fe New Mexican that the treasure was found a few days ago by a man from “back East” who did not want to be named. Fenn said the discovery was confirmed with a photograph. According to Fenn, this treasure chest contains gold dust, hundreds of rare gold coins, gold nuggets and other artifacts.
NEW ZEALAND SAYS CORONAVIRUS ‘ELIMINATED’ AND LIFE CAN RESUME WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS _ While the whole world is following the social distancing norms New Zealand has lifted all restrictions. Border controls will still remain and people coming from other countries will be tested.
GOOGLE MAPS WILL SOON PROVIDE CORONAVIRUS-RELATED ALERTS _ Google Maps will soon provide coronavirus alerts for travelers driving or taking public transition, identifying possible crowded locations, medical facilities and testing centers.
AIRPORT PARKING GARAGE BECOMES DRIVE-THROUGH ART GALLERY _ An airport parking garage in Germany has been converted into a drive-through art gallery, displaying about 300 works in a way that complies with coronavirus-inspired social distancing guidelines. The Cologne Bonn Airport parking garage was transformed into a gallery displaying paintings, sculptures and other works of art to visitors who drive through. The artworks, from about 50 different artists, are displayed on luggage carts arranged into aisles.
OBVIOUS: THESE 5 HEALTHY HABITS WARD OFF CHRONIC DISEASE _ Healthy habits go a long way toward improving mind and body now, but are also a long-term health investment. According to a new study, five healthy lifestyle choices in middle age not only increase life expectancy, but they’ll reduce the number of years older adults spend battling chronic diseases. Researchers at Harvard say healthy eating, maintaining a healthy weight, exercising regularly, limiting alcohol consumption, and not smoking can boost life expectancy.
CHICAGO HOT DOG STAND HAS THE MOST INSULTING CURBSIDE PICKUP EVER _ (CAUTION) Lately, many advertisers have been asking: Is it OK to be funny right now? To which one hot-dog stand in Chicago replies: Yes, yes it is.
The Wiener’s Circle, an eatery in the Lincoln Park are of Chicago known for its char dogs and cheese fries — and for the vulgar late-night insults its staff likes to hurl at customers — has adapted to COVID-19 by doubling down on disparagement of its clientele, with a new FaceTime Ordering & Curbside Abuse service.
… In a hilarious but R-rated viral ad, you can now order Wiener’s Circle virtually by FaceTiming the number 1-773-BI***ES. One of the staff will personally insult you as they take your order. Or you can add “Curbside Abuse” to your order on Tock, Grubhub or UberEats and enjoy a “profanity-laced earlashing of your choice” when you pick up your order.
… The ad is the eatery’s first commercial ever. • VIDEO (Video contains lots of profanity!)
79-YEAR-OLD MAN STARTED A YOUTUBE COOKING CHANNEL _ After he had to stop working as a grocery store bagger in Mexico because of the coronavirus pandemic, a 79-year-old man started a cooking YouTube channel and has become an instant star with a product line of his own. Carlos “Tito Charly” Elizondo decided to start a career online where he shares cooking videos for recipes including grilled cheese with bacon and chorizo, dried meat with piloncillo, and chilaca chiles stuffed with shrimp and chorizo among others. For each recipe, he uses his own line of ingredients–including cheese, chorizo, and dried meat–that he markets through his channel and sells through WhatsApp. Elizondo’s wife passed away and his daughters got married and moved out a few years ago, but one of his daughters is behind the camera for each segment and helps him take and fulfill orders. Other family members, like his grandson, pitch in with technology help. • VIDEO
DUNKIN’ LOOKS TO HIRE 25,000 EMPLOYEES AS LOCATIONS RE-OPEN _ Dunkin’ locations are still serving their loyal customers and are now getting ready for re-opening in certain areas. In response, Dunkin’ franchises are looking to hire 25,000 new employees to fulfill entry-level positions as well as managerial spots.
FIRST US WOMAN TO WALK IN SPACE DIVES TO EARTH’S LOWEST POINT _ Kathy Sullivan, who became the first American woman to walk in space in 1984, has reached a new low — becoming the first woman to reach Challenger Deep, the lowest known point on Earth. The former astronaut, who made history with her October 11, 1984, spacewalk, made her groundbreaking voyage to the bottom of the western Pacific Ocean, reaching a crushing depth of almost 36,000 feet, about 6.8 miles, in a submersible named Limited Factor.
… Sullivan, 68, and the sub’s chief pilot, Victor Vescovo, 54, a retired US Navy officer, returned safely to the expedition ship DSSV Pressure Drop and celebrated their feat by calling the International Space Station.
… She is only the eighth person to visit the Challenger Deep, a trench in the abyss within the Mariana Trench that is roughly a mile deeper than Mount Everest is tall.
MEN THINK ABOUT SEX LESS THAN WOMEN THINK ABOUT FASHION _ Ladies, how many times a day do you think about fashion? According to an online study, women have fashion on the brain 91 times in a given day — that’s more than four times the amount that men think about sex.
FRESH OUTDOOR AIR PUMPED INTO BUILDINGS IS BETTER _ The more outdoor air is pumped into office ventilation systems, the lower the inside levels of viruses. Researchers (Harvard School of Public Health) sampled the workday air from three office buildings and used molecular techniques to detect and identify rhinoviruses in air samples and in nasal mucus from building occupants. There was a significant relationship between the detection of airborne rhinoviruses and the amount of stale indoor air.
REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: WHAT DADS ACTUALLY WANT FOR FATHER’S DAY _ What do almost half of dads want more than anything else for Father’s Day? Here’s a clue: it costs nothing other than a few minutes of your time. The answer: a phone call. In a survey of dads, 47 percent said what they want most on dad’s special day is a call.
… Next (41 percent) is a “big juicy steak”; then “peace and quiet” (38 percent); taking in a ball game with the family (38 percent); an ice cold beer or two (35%); and a cheaper, practical gift like socks or a tie (35 percent).
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN STRIPS AT FLEA MARKET, STEALS CAR NAKED _ A man in Florida is accused of going on a bizarre, long crime spree. 23-year-old Lahorace Pickett Jr. landed in jail on more than two dozen counts. Deputies said it all began at T&W Flea Market in Pensacola Wednesday morning. Witnesses told deputies Pickett jumped onto a coin machine and started punching and kicking it. People who were watching from inside a nearby diner said Pickett then got on the ground, exposed his penis, and started screaming. One customer said Pickett jumped on his shoulders. Pickett is also accused of going behind the counter and touching and striking a worker.
… Pickett left the diner, took his clothes off in the parking lot, and got into someone’s car naked. Deputies arrived and found a pair of blue shorts and plaid boxers on the ground. They said they also found a backpack with a gun inside.
… Minutes later a 71-year-old woman who lives a few blocks away told deputies Pickett drove up in the stolen car and confronted her outside. She says he grabbed her hair, tried to kiss her, and then picked up a piece of concrete and threatened to kill her. Pickett is then accused of breaking into an RV on the property. A man who lives in the RV tried to confront him, but Pickett picked up a brick and threw it at him.
… When deputies arrived, they say Pickett tried to run. They caught him in the bed of a truck. Deputies say Pickett had a backpack that contained his wallet and ID, a martial arts throwing star, handgun ammunition, and a bag of synthetic marijuana.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SPEEDER SAID HE WAS TRYING TO DRY HIS CAR _ Police in Holland confiscated the car and driver’s license of a man caught speeding who said he was just trying to dry his car after he had washed it.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: AN HONEST DRUNK _ Police in Poland responding to a call for a slumper in a car came across a man who turned out to be very much alive. He was, however, very drunk. When police woke him up the man didn’t beat around the bush when asked if he had been drinking. The man said, “Yes. A lot.”
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ATM THIEF RETURNS MONEY _ Police in the UK said a crook stole over $200,000 from a bank’s ATM and then broke in again seven days later and returned most of the money. They think the robber had a front door key because there was no sign of a forced entry.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BEN DOVER _ A Missouri judge was presented with a case of a man from Tulsa, Oklahoma, facing multiple felony charges. The 37-year-old man, already a convicted felon, was pulled over for a traffic offense, and officers found nearly drugs, a stolen gun, and counterfeit money in his car. The judge dismissed the gun and counterfeiting charges, and gave the man five years’ probation rather than prison time. The grateful defendant’s name: Ben Dover.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: EIGHT YEARS TO DELIVER HAIR PRODUCT _ Elliot Berinstein of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, ordered a tube of Brylcream from the online retailer Well.ca. When it didn’t arrive he called and the company said they’d send a new tube to his new home. It never arrived and Berinstein gave up. The $3.63 he spent wasn’t enough for him to worry about. Eight years later he found a package on his doorstep that had just been delivered. When he opened it he found a tube of Brylcream. He didn’t use it, though. Photos online show the cream to be white, but the tube had yellow cream inside.
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (8p ET, NBC) — New. The auditions continue.
DC’S STARGIRL (8p ET, CW) — New.
MODERN FAMILY (9p ET, ABC) — Two repeats.
JIM GAFFIGAN: NOBLE APE (9p ET, CW) — Comedian Jim Gaffigan talks about a family medical crisis and other topics during this 2018 stand-up routine.
OWN SPOTLIGHT: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? (9p ET, OWN and all 18 Discovery networks) — This 2-night town hall special will feature Oprah Winfrey in conversation with a range of Black thought leaders, activists and artists. Some of the featured guests will include politician Stacey Abrams, journalist Charles M. Blow, Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, filmmaker Ava DuVernay, professor and author Jennifer Eberhardt, journalist and founder of the “1619 Project” Nikole Hannah-Jones, historian and author Ibram Kendi, actor David Oyelowo, Color of Change founder Rashad Robinson, and NAACP national board member Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II.
WORLD OF DANCE (10p ET, NBC) — New. The qualifiers continue.
THE GENETIC DETECTIVE (10p ET, ABC) — New. Moore’s work on the 1996 rape and murder of an 18-year-old in Idaho leads police to the potential killer and helps exonerate the wrongly accused man who spent 20 years in prison for the crime.
VARIETY’S POWER OF WOMEN: FRONTLINE HEROES (10p ET, Lifetime and Facebook) — This special, hosted by Robin Roberts, salutes healthcare workers, teachers and others helping to hold it all together during the coronavirus pandemic.
GEORGE CARLIN DOCUMENTARY IN THE WORKS _ In the midst of promoting his upcoming Pete Davidson-starring film The King of Staten Island, acclaimed comedy writer, director, and producer Judd Apatow recently revealed that he’s working on a documentary about legendary stand-up comedian George Carlin. Carlin, who passed away in 2008 at the age of 71, is widely regarded as one of the best and most influential American stand-up comedians of all-time.
… Asked what’s next for his career, Apatow said he’s “about to start work with my [producing] partner (Michael Bonfiglio) on a documentary about George Carlin. So I’m looking forward to watching a lot of Carlin interviews and specials. I think his work turned out to be very prophetic.”
… Starting in 1977, Carlin shot 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO, and though Apatow didn’t mention any network involvement, it stands to reasons that HBO would be the natural fit for a Carlin documentary.
MAYIM BIALIK TO HOST CELEBRITY SHOW-OFF _ TBS said Monday that Big Bang Theory actress Mayim Bialik will host Celebrity Show-Off, a talent show premiering June 23. The 10-episode remote series will feature celebrities from various fields showcasing their talent from their own homes. Each show will feature “quirky self-shot content” created by five celebrities competing against each other online.
… Bialik has also been working on starring on another show, Call Me Kat, a scripted comedy series coming to Fox. The production has been delayed due to the coronavirus pandemic.
SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE 2 HAS ENTERED PRODUCTION _ Considering how many things in the film industry have been disrupted, postponed or delayed as a result of coronavirus, it’s refreshing to hear news which bucks the trend. Production on Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2 is underway.
… A couple of things play in Spider-Verse 2’s favor when it comes to dodging problems that other productions have faced since the pandemic hit. For a start, it’s not due to release until 2022, giving it much more leeway. Secondly, the fact it’s an animated film is a big advantage. No crowded sets and no actors required in close proximity.
NETFLIX’S SPACE FORCE SECURES TRADEMARK RIGHTS _ Netflix’s Space Force has already secured trademark rights in Europe, Mexico and Australia and filed for one in the United States back in January of 2019. The U.S. Military has a pending application — which was filed in March 2019 — for registration inside the United States on an intent-to-use basis, which means they have yet to use it. They also weren’t even an organization until December of 2019.
… And while it probably won’t matter when it comes to the show or the actual branch of the military conducting their day-to-day affairs, it will matter when it comes to selling merchandise. According to the Air Force, there doesn’t appear to be any problems… yet. An Air Force spokesman said: “At this time, we are not aware of any trademark conflicts with the fictional program Space Force produced by Netflix. We wish Netflix and the show’s producers the best in their creative depiction of our nation’s newest branch of the military.”
CHRIS CUOMO APPARENTLY CAUGHT NAKED IN WIFE CRISTINA’S YOGA VIDEO _ CNN anchor Chris Cuomo was apparently caught in the nude in the garden of his Hamptons mansion during a social media yoga session filmed by his wife, Cristina Greeven Cuomo. The younger brother of New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is seemingly seen in a screengrab strutting his stuff in the buff outside his home in Southampton, where he had been broadcasting from his basement while under quarantine. The 49-year-old super-fit newsman was allegedly seen au naturel outside, captured from behind through the large windows of their home, during an Instagram Live yoga video shot by Cristina. The video was deleted quickly after it was filmed around May 27, but not before some eagle-eyed followers grabbed a stark-naked screenshot.
… Page Six says its working to get to the “bottom” of the birthday-suit broadcast.
BONNIE POINTER DEAD AT 69 _ Bonnie Pointer of The Pointer Sisters has died. The Grammy-winning Motown artist, who was originally part of the popular quartet group of sisters in the ’70s, died Monday morning. Bonnie was one of the original Pointer Sisters — which started out as a duo, with her as one of the leads — but eventually left the group in the mid-1970s to pursue a successful solo career. She’s perhaps best known for her cover of Heaven Must Have Sent You.
THE SIMPSONS’ GIVES A COMMENCEMENT SPEECH TO THE CLASS OF 2020 _ Thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, the graduates of the class of 2020 aren’t getting their traditional commencement ceremonies. But because of that, countless celebrities have stepped up to give virtual commencement speeches to inspire the next generation of great thinkers who can hopefully save us from the hell we’re experiencing now. YouTube has put together a whole assembly of videos from famous faces called Dear Class of 2020, and The Simpsons chimed in with some encouragement. Well, at least Lisa Simpson did. The rest of the family kinda phones it in, literally and figuratively. • VIDEO
KEVIN BACON HAS A NEW TRAILER _ Before movie theaters were forced to shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic, one of the best movies of the year so far was Blumhouse’s new take on The Invisible Man. Thanks to covid the movie company’s latest film will premiere on video on demand.
… You Should Have Left is a psychological horror thriller starring Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried. • VIDEO
CW’S THE FLASH ACTOR HARTLEY SAWYER FIRED _ According to Hollywood Reporter, Hartley Sawyer, who portrays Ralph Dibny / Elongated Man in CW’s The Flash, has been fired from the series after a slew of racist and misogynist remarks from 2014 and earlier were uncovered. Sawyer’s tweets included homophobic language and contained references to sexual assault. The firing was confirmed by both the CW and the show’s producers.
… Sawyer shared the following apology for his past statements via Instagram: “My words, irrelevant of being meant with an intent of humor, were hurtful, and unacceptable. I am ashamed I was capable of these really horrible attempts to get attention at that time. I regret them deeply. This was not acceptable behavior. These were words I threw out at the time with no thought or recognition of the harm my words could do, and now have done today.”
A QUOTE TO LIVE BY
“Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.” –Clifford Stoll
OLD WORDS, NEW MEANINGS
• Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
• Burglarize: What a crook sees with
• Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
• Heroes: What a guy in a boat does
• Paradox: Two physicians
• Relief: What trees do in the spring
• Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does
• Subdued: Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those submarines, man
IS YOUR MAN A GRILLING MAN?
According to a survey of guys who regularly grill out:
• Nearly half (48.5%) of grilling men have gone outside in their underwear to check on the grill.
Grilling men would rather grill than exercise (22%), go fishing (38%), watch sports on TV (45%), cook indoors (9%), do yard work (11%) or clean the house (4%).
TRIVIA: The average American eats 50 of these a year. (Bananas)
TRIVIA: When packing for a trip, men forget this more than any other item. (A belt)
Trivia: For every human on Earth, there are 200 million what? (Insects)
TRIVIA: What company used to be called Blue Ribbon Sports? (Nike)
TRIVIA: In 1994, the city of New York held a 45 minute funeral service for what non-human object? (A cedar tree that died in Queens park)
TRIVIA: A typical person will use 167 of these a year. (Plastic water bottles)
HOLE IN THE HEADLINE
Guess the word that’s missing from this real news headline: “Man Hit by 3 ______ in 7 Minutes”
A court in China awarded a man almost $20,000 in compensation after he was hit by three cars within seven minutes. The man was first struck while standing in a crosswalk. When the driver stopped to check on the victim another car ran over his leg and fled the scene. At the stopped driver waved to warn other drivers of the accident, another driver stopped out of concern. His parked vehicle was immediately rear-ended by another car, which then plowed into the already-injured man.
Five questions. Each answer begins with the corresponding letter in the word BINGO.
• A stiff folder-like office supply that has three rings. (Binder)
• It’s home to Des Moines and Davenport. (Iowa)
• A room within the house designed for the care of a young child or children. (Nursery)
• What you pour beverages into. (Glass)
• Someone who’s plain or average might also be called this. (Ordinary)
• Kate Flannery (The Office) is 56
• Elizabeth Hurley is 55
• DJ Qualls (Memphis Beat, Hustle and Flow) is 42
• Leelee Sobieski is 38
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1682: The first tornado recorded by settlers in North America was sighted near New Haven, Connecticut.
• 1776: The Continental Congress appointed a committee to write a Declaration of Independence.
• 1793: Philadelphia ceased to be the capital of the United States when all federal government offices moved to Washington DC.
• 1943: The Ball Point Pen was patented by Lasalo Biro of Budapest, Hungary.
• 1965: Subway owner Fred DeLuca opened his first sandwich shop.
• 2002: A man in Hanau, Germany, was charged with assaulting a police officer with his underpants. Arrested for traveling on a train without a ticket, the suspect was waiting the police station when he suddenly stripped and began hitting an officer repeatedly in the face with his underpants, which were listed in the charge as a weapon.
• 2007: The final episode of The Sopranos aired on HBO.
• 2014: Donald Sterling, the owner of the L.A. Clippers who was banned from the NBA after racist remarks, changed his mind on allowing sale of the team to Microsoft ex-CEO Steve Balmer; instead, Sterling revived his $1 billion lawsuit against the NBA.
• Alcoholics Anonymous (Founders) Day
• Egg Roll Day
• Iced Tea Day