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• Adrienne Barbeau (Maude) is 75

• NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana is 64

• Hugh Laurie (House) is 61

• Talk show host Dr. Oz is 60

• Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones) is 51

• Joshua Jackson (Fringe, Dawson’s Creek) is 42

• Shia LaBeouf is 34


• 1776: The Continental Congress appointed Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston to a committee to draft a declaration of independence.

• 1962: Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin became the only prisoners to successfully escape from the prison on Alcatraz Island.

• 1982: Director Steven Spielberg introduced his classic science-fiction film, E.T., The Extra-Terrestrial.

• 1993: Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park premiered.

• 1998: expanded its product line from books only to add compact discs.

• 2002: Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were married in a remote Irish castle.

• 2002: American Idol premiered on the Fox Network. The talent show was based on a similar British program.

• 2002: Antonio Meucci was acknowledged as the first inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress.

• 2004: Former U.S. President Ronald Reagan’s funeral was held at Washington National Cathedral.


• Corn on the Cob Day

• Nursing Assistants Day

• Cotton Candy Day

• German Chocolate Cake Day


6,000: Hours the average person will spend reading over a lifetime.


35 million people are still waiting on stimulus checks. [Expect them to arrive by the 2030 pandemic and recession.]

The US intercepted Russian bombers and fighter jets off the coast of Alaska. [“Attention Russians: pull the bomber over to the side of the road and exit slowly!”]

Duchess Kate Middleton has hired a new private secretary. [Which is why, I’m sad to announce, I’ll be leaving (your station) at the end of the week.]

Scientists found a pair of leather shoes over 5,500 years old. [And they still smell like feet.]

Scientists say that being short raises heart risks. [Although if you’re short you’re really at more risk of tripping over your pants.]

Starbucks will close 400 locations. [Any chance they could leave the doors unlocked and the wifi on?]

Coachella and Stagecoach won’t take place this year. [Oh well. We always have the $22 plastic collector cups from last year.]


ONE IN FIVE PHAVE ENDED RELATIONSHIP OVER PARTNER’S BATHROOM HABITS _ For many people, the bathroom can be the only sanctuary in a very busy house. When couples have to share that private space however, the tug-of-war over the toilet can put a relationship on the rocks. A survey of couples finds that 70 percent are currently in the middle of a “bathroom war” with their significant other.

… Incredibly, nearly 20 percent of the respondents admit to ending a relationship because of their ex’s bathroom habits.

… For men, researchers say the biggest issue was how much hair their partner left in the shower drain without cleaning it. For women, they were turned off by the mess and smells a boyfriend left behind in the toilet.

… According to a third of those surveyed, their partner does way too much relaxing in the bathroom and hogs the shower. Over half of the couples say they argue about each others’ bathroom habits up to three times a week.

… Researchers say the biggest pet peeves couples have center around their partner’s toilet habits. Leaving the toilet paper roll empty was the biggest annoyance couples had. A partner who didn’t clean the toilet finished as the second biggest problem.

STARBUCKS WILL CLOSE 400 STORES BUT EXPANDING PICKUP OPTIONS _ Starbucks will close up to 400 company-owned locations over the next 18 months while also speeding up the expansion of options such as curbside pickup, drive-thru and mobile-only pickup locations. Starbucks says the moves are being driven by changing consumer behaviors that have shifted because of the COVID-19 pandemic. In mid-March, the company closed locations and moved to a “to go” model at other stores.

MOM AND DAUGHTER GRADUATE FROM MEDICAL SCHOOL TOGETHER _ When new physicians Cynthia Kudji and her daughter Jasmine Kudji checked their emails March 20, Match Day, they didn’t expect to set two records. That morning, the duo had both been placed at Louisiana State University Health to complete their residency training — one of the first times a mother and daughter matched with the same hospital after graduating from medical school at the same time.

… Mom Cynthia is 49; Jasmine is 26. Cynthia dreams were paused when she became pregnant with Jasmine as a senior at Tulane University, where she received a B.S. in biology as an undergraduate. Instead, Cynthia attended William Carey University for nursing school and completed her master’s of science in nursing at Loyola University in 2006. She worked as a nurse for nearly a decade before eventually deciding that she still wanted to become a physician.

NASCAR BANS CONFEDERATE FLAG AT EVENTS _ NASCAR said Wednesday that it would ban the presence of the confederate flag at all of its racing events and properties. In a statement NASCAR said: “The presence of the confederate flag at [our] events runs contrary to our commitment to providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for all fans, our competitors and our industry. Bringing people together around a love for racing and the community that it creates is what makes our fans and sport special. The display of the confederate flag will be prohibited from all NASCAR events and properties.”

… The circuit’s only full-time Black driver, Bubba Wallace, on Monday urged for the flags, a symbol of celebration of an era of slavery in the United States, to be removed from NASCAR events.

GIRLS TIRED OF LOCKDOWN TAKE TOY CARS TO MCDONALD’S DRIVE-THRU _ Two sisters looking to get their McDonald’s fix after weeks of lockdown in the U.K. hopped in a pair of Little Tikes Cozy Coupes and hit the drive-thru. The plastic single-seaters were borrowed from their babysitter after their mom refused to take them on a burger run because of the expected crowds. Danielle, 13, suggested she and her 9-year-old sister Teigan could use the cars and go on their own. So mom took them up on the offer, gave them the cars and videoed the trip. She followed the girls from her car as they struggled to propel the too-small rides along the cobblestone drive-thru lane in the rain. At one point, Teigan’s car even tipped over, but she was fine.

LONG LOST CLASS RING FOUND AT TENNESSEE RECYCLING CENTER _ A class ring lost by its owner 15 years ago is on its way back to him after it was found by workers doing sorting at a Tennessee recycling plant. The Town of Collierville said workers came across the Collierville High School class of 2003 ring while sorting through materials at a recycling hub. The name Joel Fong was inscribed on the ring. A sanitation manger went through the records of the local government system, found the name, and got in touch with Fong, who now lives in Corpus Christie, Texas. He lost the ring 15 years ago while working at a Collierville grocery store.

AMERICANS WASTE $165 BILLION WORTH OF FOOD ANNUALLY _ People know about food waste, and say they care about the problem, but they underestimate their role in the accumulating waste.

… According to a survey (by researchers at John Hopkins University) roughly 75 percent of 1,000-plus respondents claimed they wasted less than the national average.

… The reality is around 40 percent of the U.S. food supply is thrown out.

DON’T LET KIDS DRINK SODA _ Don’t put soda in that sippy cup. A study (Penn State University) found that girls who drank soda by age 5 weren’t as well nourished over the next decade as girls who hadn’t touched the stuff by 5.

GYM ‘DEEPLY APOLOGIZES’ FOR ‘I CAN’T BREATHE’ WORKOUT _ A Wisconsin gym has apologized for an “I Can’t Breathe” workout. Photos shared on social media show a whiteboard at the Wauwatosa branch of Anytime Fitness with a drawing of a kneeling black figure, the words “I Can’t Breathe” and “Don’t You Dare Lay Down,” and a list of exercises. Co-owner Jen Dunnington told TMZ that she “deeply apologizes” to the many people offended by the sign. She says a trainer intended to “honor” George Floyd, who repeatedly said he couldn’t breathe as a police officer knelt on his neck for more than 8 minutes. She says the exercises were meant to “be a workout so hard that we felt what he felt.”

… Corporate management issued a statement saying they were “shocked and devastated to see that one of our franchise locations chose to offer an ‘I Can’t Breathe’ workout.”

GREY PETS _ A growing number of “grey pets” are costing their owners increasing sums in vets’ bills. According to a survey, many dogs and cats are now living well into their teens, thanks to better awareness among owners about keeping the animals fit, and developments in medical technology. But the study, which covered 2,500 pet owners and 100 vets, found this new longevity comes at a price. Conditions such as arthritis are likely to cost owners about $900 dollars a year to treat on average, while dealing with heart problems could cost almost double that.

REMEMBER THIS? A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: MOST WOMEN ARE HAPPY WITH HOW THEY LOOK _ In a survey, 90 percent of women say they’re happy with how they look. 90 percent of the women interviewed considered their looks to be “average or above.” Specifically, 36 percent thought their looks were above average and 54 percent thought their looks were “exactly average.” The study found that 75 percent of those surveyed agreed that “beauty comes from a woman’s spirit and love of life, not from her looks.”


WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN PILOTS DRONE OVER PROTESTORS, CAUGHT WITH MARIJUANA _ A 20-year old Nashville man was charged was in attendance at a downtown protest. During the protest, officers noticed James Brown operating a drone above the crowd. The unmanned aircraft navigated over the protestors. After approaching Brown, law enforcement was given consent to search his person. Officers discovered 31.2 grams of marijuana as well as a marijuana grinder in Brown’s backpack.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: SPRINKLERS SPRAY SENIORS DURING HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION _ Some seniors received a surprise during a graduation ceremony in South Carolina (Dorchester County). Ashley Ridge High School held its in-person ceremony early Wednesday morning at Swamp Fox Stadium. When Ashley Ridge Principal Karen Radcliffe began to introduce the school’s valedictorian and salutatorian, seniors and guests were surprised by sprinklers which began to spray the field, sending everyone scrambling. The entire event was streamed live on YouTube.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: OLDSTER KEPT HITTING ON HIS LANDLADY _ An elderly guy in Italy got a talking to by police after his landlady, age 58, complained he kept writing love letters to her even though she had rejected him.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TICKED OFF TURKEY CHASES AMAZON DELIVERY DRIVER AWAY _ A Florida Amazon delivery driver says his friends always joked he’d be one of the drivers that ends up on TV one day and due to a recent unusual wild experience that’s coming true. Gary Cervera noticed two turkeys walking alongside a house where he had to make a delivery but he didn’t think much of them even when one got closer. Cervera tossed a french fry toward the feisty animal but it wasn’t nearly as interested in food as it was in the driver. Cervera noticed the animal slowly following him. After dropping off the package, the delivery driver said he took out his phone and started walking faster only for the turkey to pick up speed as well. Then came the chase. Cervera said he always leaves his side door open and that day his shortcut paid off as he was able to escape the turkey by jumping into his van quickly and shutting the door.

… Dora Gentile lives at the house where the delivery was being made and she said the turkey is outside her house almost every single day and she’s named him George.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DOCS REMOVE CHARGING CABLE FROM MAN’S URINARY BLADDER _ Doctors in India removed a nearly two-foot-long cell phone charging cable from the urinary bladder of a 30-year-old man. The man was operated on after complaining of stomach aches and reporting that he had a history of accidentally ingesting headphones. The patient’s stool was examined and an endoscopy was conducted but the cable could not initially be found. The doctor shared on Facebook: “I operated upon him to find nothing in his gastrointestinal tract… but instead discovered a mobile phone charger cord in his urinary bladder. All of you must have guessed the entry point and route.” An X-ray confirmed that the cable was inserted through the penile urethra but the doc said the man still insisted that he had consumed it orally. • IMAGES

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MUGGER RUNS INTO POLICE STATION _ A mugging suspect in China looking for a shortcut instead found himself in a police station compound.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY CALLS BANK 4,000 TIMES _ In Japan, a nursing care worker who was arrested for making about 4,000 calls to a bank said he did it because he wanted to hear women’s voices to relieve stress. The man says he made up to 30 calls a day to the bank during the past year.


PICTURE SHOW: A TRIBUTE CELEBRATING JOHN PRINE (7:30p ET, multiple platforms including Prine’s YouTube, Facebook and Twitch channels) — Kacey Musgraves, Bonnie Raitt, Brandi Carlile, Bill Murray, Eric Church and Stephen Colbert are just a few of the many artists confirmed for this online celebration of the legendary singer-songwriter, who died earlier this year of coronavirus complications. Confirmed guests include Kevin Bacon, Vince Gill, Jason Isbell, Margo Price, Fiona Whelan Prine, Jack Prine, Tommy Prine, Kyra Sedgwick, Sturgill Simpson, Billy Bob Thornton, Rita Wilson and Prine’s longtime band (Kenneth Blevins, David Jacques, Fats Kaplin, Jason Wilber).


COUNCIL OF DADS (8p ET, NBC) — New. Oliver confronts Anthony about a deeply held personal secret that will rock the Perry family.



SERIES FINALE: MAN WITH A PLAN (8:30p ET, CBS) — New. CBS has cancelled this sitcom after 4 seasons.

SERIES PREMIERE: DON’T (9p ET, ABC) — This new game show, hosted by Adam Scott and produced by Ryan Reynolds, features four-member teams tackling oddball challenges, like “Don’t blink,” “Don’t Look Back” and “Don’t Play Ball in the House” to win cash.

BLINDSPOT (9p ET, NBC) — New. When Jane is shot and Weller is kidnapped, the team must fight to save both while maintaining the secrecy of their hidden base.

LABOR OF LOVE (9p ET, FOX) — New. Kristy and the remaining fathers-to-be participate in a game night.

IN THE DARK (9p ET, CW) — New.

SERIES PREMIERE: DESIGN AT YOUR DOOR (9p ET, HGTV) — HGTV stars lend their virtual expertise to viewers attempting home projects.

BROKE (9:30p ET, CBS) — New. Jackie secures a liquor sponsor for the Cinco de Mayo party at Mitzy’s bar.

TO TELL THE TRUTH (10p ET, ABC) — New. Celebrity panelists are Mark Duplass, Patti LaBelle, Kevin Nealon and Constance Zimmer.

TOP CHEF (10p ET, Bravo) — New. The chefs are treated to a culinary dream trip to the legendary home of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and Prosciutto di Parma ham. They must then feature the ingredients in two courses and serve their dishes to a table of 16 Michelin stars.


GONE WITH THE WIND PULLED FROM HBO MAX _ HBO Max has pulled Gone with the Wind from its library of films. The 1939 film, which tells the love story of Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler during the American Civil War, is considered by many to be a cinematic classic and is one of the most popular films ever made. However, the movie is also incredibly controversial. The film’s portrayal of slavery, African Americans and the Civil War South has been received much more critically in the decades since its release.

… A spokesperson for HBO Max said Gone with the Wind “depicts some of the ethnic and racial prejudices that have, unfortunately, been commonplace in American society. These racist depictions were wrong then and are wrong today, and we felt that to keep this title up without an explanation and a denouncement of those depictions would be irresponsible.” The spokesperson added that when the film returns to HBO Max, it “will return with a discussion of its historical context and a denouncement of those very depictions,” and will be presented “as it was originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed.”

NBC CANCELS PERFECT HARMONY AND LINCOLN RHYME _ Perfect Harmony won’t be back for Season 2 after wrapping up its first season in January on NBC. Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector, based on Jeffrey Dever’s book series, also wasn’t picked up for a second season by NBC.

DAKOTA JOHNSON TO STAR IN MOCKUMENTARY SERIES RODEO QUEENS _ Dakota Johnson has signed on to star in a mockumentary set in the rodeo world “that follows an ensemble of Rodeo Queen hopefuls as they compete for the coveted crown.” Should Rodeo Queens be picked up to series, it will mark Johnson’s second lead TV series regular role after Fox’s short-lived 2012-13 comedy Ben and Kate.

NETFLIX LAUNCHES A BLACK LIVES MATTER COLLECTION _ Seven Seconds, When They See Us, Orange Is the New Black, and Dear White People are among the shows in Netflix’s new Black Lives Matters collection. The streaming service came up with the collection after noticing an uptick in searches for “Black Lives Matter” amid the George Floyd protests. Netflix’s move comes a week after “white savior” movie The Help became the No. 1 streaming film on Netflix, prompting many on Twitter, including star Bryce Dallas Howard, to suggest alternatives. • LINK

ARIANA GRANDE SPENDS NEARLY $14 MILLION ON NEW HOLLYWOOD HOME _  Being in quarantine hasn’t prevented Ariana Grande from doing some real estate shopping — but then again, her alleged boyfriend is L.A. real estate agent Dalton Gomez. Sources tell the Los Angeles Times that Ari has purchased a newly built home in the Hollywood Hills for $13.7 million. The ultra-modern property features floor-to-ceiling windows and glass balconies. In 10,000 square feet, it packs in four bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a workout studio, a cedar-lined “wellness center,” a bar, a 300-bottle wine cellar and an office. There’s also an infinity-edge swimming pool.

DISNEY, T-MOBILE PULL ADVERTISING FROM TUCKER CARLSON’S FOX NEWS SHOW _ Disney and T-Mobile have pulled their advertising from Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show in light of his recent comments about the Black Lives Matter movement and the killing of George Floyd.

… This isn’t the first time advertisers have pulled out of Tucker Carlson Tonight in light of incendiary comments he’s made. In 2018, at least 26 advertisers — including Red Lobster, Lexus, Pfizer, IHOP, SmileDirectClub, NerdWallet and Ancestry — dropped their ads from his show after Carlson said immigrants made America “poorer” and “dirtier.”

A&E CANCELING LIVE PD _ A&E has pulled the plug on Live PD, in the wake of ongoing protests against police brutality and concerns over coverage of police activity following the killing of George Floyd in Minnesota.

7500 TRAILER WITH JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT _ Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be back on June 19. Gordon-Levitt’s big return to feature films will take place in an airplane, in 7500, a thriller for Amazon Video that follows a soft-spoken co-pilot who must fend off an airplane hijacking. 7500 premieres on Amazon Prime Video June 19, 2020. • VIDEO

COACHELLA, STAGECOACH FESTIVALS NOT TAKING PLACE THIS YEAR _ While few people expected that the Coachella and Stagecoach Festivals would actually take place in October, it’s now become official: Riverside County public health officials announced that the festivals will be taking place next year at the earliest, and multiple sources tell Variety that promoter Goldenvoice is in the process of informing performers. Coachella, initially planned for April, with Rage Against the Machine, Frank Ocean and Travis Scott as headliners, had been scheduled to return to the Empire Polo Grounds in Indio, California on the weekends of October 9 and 16, with Stagecoach the following weekend.

HARRY STYLES RESCHEDULES NORTH AMERICAN TOUR DATES _ Harry Styles’ Love on Tour has been rescheduled for 2021. The singer took to social media Wednesday to announce the new North American dates and share a message with his patient fans: “This summer we were excited to be bringing Love On Tour to North America. However, due to the ongoing threat from Covid-19 we have been forced to reschedule these dates to next summer. I can’t wait to see you all out on the road, as soon as it’s safe to do so.”



Ask listeners to post pics that are unique to their jobs, like those posted here. Check out the guy who’s guarding an abandoned office.


I (you) met a guy yesterday who recently married. His wife was married before. Twice, as a matter of fact — to the same guy. She married the guy, they divorced, then they married again… and divorced again.

FB icon   Know anyone who married the same person twice?

… I (you) found some stuff online about re-marrying exes. One study found that as many as 6 percent of divorced people remarried an ex-spouse. Another study found that 72 percent of those reunions were successful.


• Avoid those who leave that last sip at the bottom of their beer.

• Take your time mowing the lawn. Your wife might have some other stuff for you to do.

• When betting on sports, don’t waste time on research. Pick a team — anything can happen.

• If you’re going to let yourself get fat, at least wear cool clothes and footwear.

• Always be a gentleman. Never be a cheapskate. Call your mother at least once a week.


A rolled up newspaper can be an effective training tool when used properly. For instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking accident. Bring the dog over to the destroyed object (or mess), then take the rolled-up newspaper and hit yourself over the head as you repeat the phrase, “I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG. I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG.”


These are actual notes written in patient records by doctors.

• On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 2017.

• The patient has no previous history of suicides.

• Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

• She is numb from her toes down.

• While in ER she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

• The patient’s skin was moist and dry.

• Patient was alert and unresponsive.

• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


TRIVIA: Just over one in four U.S. homes have what? (A deck)

TRIVIA: Roughly 24 people are killed by what animal each year? (Cattle)


I’ll name a phobia, you tell me what it is…

• Is ambulophobiathe fear of walking* or the fear of vehicles?

• Is pogonophobia the fear of beards* or the fear of trees?

• Is ommetaphobia the fear of soft surfaces or the fear of eyes*?

• Is ergophobia the fear of work* or the fear of sudden movement?

• Is batophobia the fear of bats or the fear of being close to high buildings*?

• Is dendrophobia the fear of trees* or the fear of cold foods?

• Is triskadekaphobia the fear of spiders or the fear of the number 13*?

• Is octophobia the fear of the number 8* or the fear of sea creatures?


Question: A man comes home after a week-long vacation and sees that his freezer had been off for some time because of a power outage, even though it’s on now. Everything’s frozen so how did he know?

Answer: He turned one of his ice-cube trays upside down before he left.


Guess the word that’s missing from this real news headline: “Woman Teaches ______ How to Shoplift”

Police in Spain say a woman had her 4-year-old granddaughter help her shoplift. Surveillance cameras recorded the woman taking items and having her granddaughter put them into a toy stroller.



• Timothy Busfield (The West Wing, Thirtysomething) is 63

• Eamonn Walker (Chicago Fire, Cadillac Records) is 58

• Jason Mewes (Clerks) is 46

• Timothy Simons (Jonah on Veep) is 42


• 1939: The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum was dedicated in Cooperstown, New York.

• 1952: A 17-year-old Bonham, Texas, housecat named Dusty set a Guinness record by giving birth to her 420th kitten.

• 1963: Civil rights leader Medgar Evers was shot dead in front of his home in Jackson, Mississippi by Ku Klux Klan member Byron De La Beckwith.

• 1965: Queen Elizabeth honored the Beatles by making them members of the Order of the British Empire. Several British Army officers were so outraged, they returned their medals.

• 1981: Little-known comedian David Letterman hosted “Looking for Fun” on cable’s HBO.

• 1987: President Ronald Reagan publicly challenged Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall at Brandenburg Gate.

• 1994: Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman were murdered outside her home in Los Angeles, California. O.J. Simpson was later acquitted of the killings, but was held liable in a civil suit.

• 2009: All television broadcasts in the United States switched from analog NTSC to digital ATSC transmission.

• 2016: Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old American security guard, killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in a mass shooting inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Orlando Police Department officers shot and killed him after a three-hour standoff.


• Jerky Day

• Peanut Butter Cookie Day

• Superman Day

• Red Rose Day