• Composer Burt Bacharach is 93
• Gabriel Byrne is 71
• Ving Rhames (Mission: Impossible films) is 62
• Emilio Estevez is 59
• April Grace (Lost, Joan of Arcadia) is 59
• Stephen Baldwin is 55
• Skateboarder Tony Hawk is 53
• Scott Schwartz (A Christmas Story) is 53
• Kim Fields (Living Single, The Facts of Life) is 52
• Rhea Seehorn (Better Call Saul) is 49
• Jason Biggs (American Pie) is 43
• Rami Malik (Bohemian Rhapsody, Mr. Robot) is 40
• Domhnall Gleeson (Peter Rabbit films, General Hux in Star Wars films) is 38
• Clare Bowen (Nashville) is 37
• Emily VanCamp (Marvel films) is 35
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1932: A new character, Dippy Dawg, appeared in the cartoon “Mickey’s Revue” by Walt Disney. Later, Disney changed Dippy’s name to Goofy.
• 1965: At Chess Studios in Chicago The Rolling Stones recorded the first tracks for Satisfaction.
• 1966: Busch Memorial Stadium, home of the St. Louis Cardinals major league baseball team, opened in St. Louis, Missouri.
• 1978: The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced it would alternate using men’s and women’s names for hurricanes. Previously, only women’s names had been used, and some complained it wasn’t fair that women got all the attention for causing damage and destruction.
• 1989: Joe Valdez Caballero died at age 81. He invented the hard taco shell.
• 1992: Thirty men and two women from nine nations reached the summit of Mount Everest, the most climbers to reach the peak in one day.
• 2002: Former President Jimmy Carter arrived in Cuba for a five-day visit with Fidel Castro, becoming first President of the United States, in or out of office, to visit the island since Castro’s 1959 revolution.
• 2006: The Milwaukee Brewers gave free tickets to a future game to fans who let a doctor check their prostate.
• 2012: A missing piece of the Mayan calendar was discovered, proving the Maya didn’t believe 2012 would be the end of the world.
• 2020: The US coronavirus task force testified to the Senate that the US “is not out of the woods yet” because the pandemic is not under control.
• Donate A Day’s Wages To Charity
• International Nurses Day
• School Nurse Day
• Limerick Day
• Native American Rights Day
• National Night Shift Workers Day
• National Third Shift Workers Day
• Nutty Fudge Day
• Receptionists Day
26.9: The national mean age of women giving birth for the first time . In 1970, the average age of first-time mothers was just under 21½ years.
The Brazilian strain of COVID-19 has been found in Florida. [Build a wall!]
The Brazilian strain of COVID-19 has been found in Florida. [Years from now we’ll be comparing the strains we caught. “You got the Brazilian strain? Wow, so exotic. Me? Oh, uh, I got the Topeka strain.”]
52% of single men and 39% of single women say when they get married they will have the traditional phrase “to honor and obey” in their ceremony. [While 22% of singles say they’ll go with the more modern phrase “like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”]
Researchers found that 10 to 15 minutes of laughter can burn off the number of calories found in a medium-sized piece of chocolate. [If that’s the case, I’d like to hire someone to tickle me for a few months so I can look good in my bathing suit by the Fourth of July.]
Every resident of the Italian island of Capri has been vaccinated and the mayor says they are now COVID free. [Translation: Americans stay away.]
A North Carolina woman was bitten three times by a copperhead snake and survived. [In related news, Marvel has announced its newest superhero.]
The soap opera Days of Our Lives has been renewed for Seasons 57 and 58 at NBC. [And it’s dating a 20-year-old sitcom.]
A Pennsylvania hunter shot a turkey in every state. [Which is why friends keep turning down his dinner invitations.]
COVID 19 ONE YEAR AGO: LOCKDOWN CANDLES SMELL LIKE PLACES WE MISS MOST _ Many weeks into the COVID-19 lockdown there are a number of things you probably miss — and now there are candles to help remind you of those things. A UK candle company’s (Earl of East) latest line of candles is called “Scents of Normality,” a collection of luxury soy candles that reminds us of the things we had in a pre-lockdown. The scents are supposed to remind us of a festival, a favorite bar, and a movie theater. • LINK
HUNTER SHOOTS TURKEY IN 49th STATE _ Travis Thompson of Pennsylvania has completed one of the most difficult feats in the world of hunting — the Wild Turkey Super Slam. By bagging a mature gobbler in the 49th different state, Thompson joins just 11 other hunters to have successfully completed the Super Slam. He is currently finalizing the registration of his final bird with the National Wild Turkey Federation so he can officially be added to the list. Thompson has been pursuing this goal since 2013. (There is no turkey hunting season in Alaska.)
… On April 21 he set out to shoot a gobbler in Arkansas, the final state he needed to cross off the list and a state he was unsuccessful in his first time around.
… Thompson shared just how much effort goes into bagging a turkey in every state: “The all-night drives, plane flights, nights sleeping alone in my truck, hours of looking at maps, scouting, money spent on licenses, phone calls and all of the kind-hearted people that I met along the way that helped contribute to my accomplishment.”
BOOZE REALLY DOES BREAK THE ICE WITH STRANGERS _ If social distancing is still one of your priorities, then you may want to avoid parties serving alcohol. A new study finds drinking really does bring people, even strangers, physically closer to one another. Researchers (University of Illinois) discovered drinking in social settings helps to decrease the physical distance between pairs by at least one centimeter every few minutes. However, if people are not drinking alcohol, study authors find the distance is likely to remain the same over the course of a conversation.
… Researchers asked 212 young, healthy social drinkers (made up of pairs of friends) to take part in different experimental conditions. In half the cases, participants enjoyed drinks with a friend. In the other half, they drank with another participant who was a stranger to them. Results show those who drank nonalcoholic beverages with strangers did not draw significantly closer to one another during the experiment.
… Researchers note that friends tended to draw closer to each other regardless of their drink order. For intoxicated strangers however, alcohol seems to be a key trigger for social mingling.
BOY SELLS POKÉMON CARDS TO FUND TREATMENT FOR SICK PUPPY _ How far would you go to save your dog? A young boy from western Virginia set the bar at a new level. Eight-year-old Bryson Kliemann is a diehard Pokémon fanatic. He was organizing his playing cards and noticed his dog, Bruce, had fallen sick. His mother rushed the dog to the vet. Bruce was diagnosed with parvo, a highly contagious dog virus. The treatment cost is nearly $700. A price the family couldn’t afford to pay and a puppy Bryson says he couldn’t afford to lose. Aware of his parents financial situation, Bryson used his love for Bruce and his passion for Pokémon to take matters in to his own hands.
… Bryson said, “I know everybody likes Pokémon cards so I just decided to sell them.” Bryson’s mom posted the picture online to help get the word out. She later made a GoFundMe with a goal of $800, but the donations exceeded $1,900. After overwhelming community support and a week of treatment, Bryson reunited with Bruce.
MAN TRIES TO RAM AMAZON DELIVERY DRIVER OFF ROAD _ Amazon drivers endure tough conditions to keep our lives moving by delivering all of the random junk that we order online. They also deliver important goods, from food to medical supplies. But sometimes, deliveries don’t go so well. On Saturday in Brevard County, Florida, an Amazon delivery driver refused to deliver a package to the home of William Ulbrik, citing company procedures and protocols. Ulbrik says that the package had necessary medical equipment inside. He reportedly became angry, called the driver names then started to chase the driver in his Toyota pickup. It sucks not getting a package, but what follows isn’t a great solution to that problem.
… According to the arrest report, a police officer recorded Ulbrik on his cruiser’s dash cam trying to ram his pickup into the side of the Amazon delivery vehicle. He even went as far as driving into the median of the highway in the attempt to ram the Amazon driver. Ulbrik was arrested.
NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR SAYS FREE BEER PLAN WORKING _ New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy wants to see 4.7 million residents vaccinated by the end of June, and he’s offering liquid encouragement to get it done. Murphy calls it “Operation Jersey Summer,” and among a long list of initiatives to boost vaccinations is the shot and free beer program. Murphy says that with the Garden State having one of the strongest and fastest-growing craft beer industries, it only made sense to incentivize residents with a free beer at any of the nearly 50 participating breweries … if they can prove they got vaccinated in May.
TIKTOK YOUR WAY TO A JOB _ TikTok is testing a tool for brands to recruit employees. The test program is designed to help people find jobs on TikTok and connect with companies looking to find candidates. It’s also meant to help brands use TikTok as a recruitment channel.
THE INTERNET IS DIVIDED OVER ULTIMATE SPAGHETTI _ This week’s internet debate: ultimate spaghetti. We have Twitter user @jarvis to thank for sharing a video from Facebook of a little something called the “Ultimate Spaghetti Trick.” The video, created by the Facebook page Josh and Lisa, shows jars of spaghetti sauce being dumped onto a kitchen counter. The “chef” claims, “This is the easiest way to make spaghetti for a crowd.” Then come the meatballs. And some Parmesan cheese. Then the “check” blends it all. • VIDEO
PETS ADOPTED DURING THE PANDEMIC ARE BEING RETURNED _ Pet owners who adopted during the pandemic are reportedly beginning to ditch their animals at shelters now that COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted and workers are returning to the office. One shelter employee said, “I think that’s going to happen as people gradually returned to offices, start thinking about taking holidays as well. I think very sadly we’re going to see [people] returning their dogs and cats because a lot of people bought puppies early in the pandemic.”
AVERAGE PERSON HASN’T LEFT HOME STATE IN YEARS _ Feeling stuck in a rut? A new study finds nine in 10 people are in desperate need of a vacation, even if it’s just to the next state over. In fact, the average American hasn’t left their home state in about three and a half years.
A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: DOGS GO THROUGH A PHASE WHEN THEY HIT PUBERTY JUST LIKE HUMANS _ Dogs become less obedient to commands during adolescence just like teenage kids. In experiments (in Britain) dogs were more likely to ignore commands given by their caregiver and were harder to train at the age of eight months, during puberty. Despite being less mature, prepubescent dogs around the age of five months were more obedient to their owner than the older dogs. The research team, which claims to be the first to find evidence of adolescent behavior in dogs, reassures owners of pubescent dogs that they are going through a passing phase.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOM ARRESTED AFTER MAKING SON FIGHT _ A Florida mom (Orange City) was taken into custody after authorities said she encouraged her son to start a fight with another child in the neighborhood then jumped into the altercation herself. Deputies arrested Jamie Gensler just before 11PM Friday after responding to reports of a physical fight, which apparently was over a knocked over basketball hoop.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: FUGITIVE APPLIES FOR POLICE JOB _ A wanted fugitive in China was caught after he applied for a job at a police station. An officer interviewing him did a background check after noticing he was sweating more than most applicants.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LIGHTNING STRIKE BLASTS HUNK OF HIGHWAY THROUGH WINDSHIELD _ Ford likes to say it’s vehicles are built “Ford tough” — and now we have the perfect test case. A lightning bolt came crashing down on a highway in Florida (between Pensacola and Tallahassee) on Monday morning, launching a hunk of blacktop up into the path of a moving Ford F-150 pickup.
… Nobody is quite sure exactly what caused the piece of pavement to levitate, but the going theory is that water had seeped into cracks in the road and were instantly vaporized by the lightning strike. The sudden and violent expansion of liquid turning into gas thrust the hunk up into the air just as two unsuspecting motorists hurtled headlong into the hunk. The congealed tar and stone blasted through the front windshield, impacted the rear middle seat, and blasted through the rear window. • IMAGE
… While both driver and passenger were injured and transported to the hospital, neither appear to have been impacted by the projectile itself. Both people in the vehicle suffered lacerations from flying windshield glass.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COUPLE WAKES UP TO STRANGER IN LIVING ROOM STEALING CASH _ In Florida, an Illinois man was arrested Sunday after a couple said he broke into their living room and was acting strange. The husband and wife told deputies they woke up to find a man in their living room at around 6AM dropping cash out of his pocket and acting like he was lost. One witness said the man pointed to the family’s dog and asked if the dog was a goat before running out the front door. Deputies caught up with 22-year-old man walking down the road.
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS (8p ET, CBS) — New.
THE GOLDBERGS (8p ET, ABC) — New. Adam decides to find Dave Kim a date to prom, once he remembers his pact with Dave that they won’t go to prom if they both don’t have dates.
CHICAGO MED (8p ET, NBC) — New. Third-year med students begin their rotation.
THE MASKED SINGER (8p ET, FOX) — New. The final five singers perform in the quarterfinals. Rob Riggle (Holey Moley) is the guest panelist.
KUNG FU (8p ET, CW) — New.
HOME ECONOMICS (8:30p ET, ABC) — New. Connor invites the siblings to a party he’s throwing for his ex-wife, Emily.
SEAL TEAM (9p ET, CBS) — New. Bravo is tasked with a covert mission to infiltrate a Boko Haram camp, hack its data network and rescue an American hostage.
CHICAGO FIRE (9p ET, NBC) — New. A fire breaks out at a pet food factory, and Casey and Severide help the owner get to the bottom of it.
THE CONNERS (9p ET, ABC) — New. Darlene makes a decision about her trip to Hawaii, leading to a heated encounter with Barb (guest star Candice Bergen). Brian Austin Green and Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers also guest star.
GAME OF TALENTS (9p ET, FOX) — New.
NANCY DREW (9p ET, CW) — New.
CALL YOUR MOTHER (9:30p ET, ABC) — New. Jean fears her family is drifting apart so she brings everyone together for a game night that doesn’t go as planned.
S.W.A.T. (10p ET, CBS) — New. When four escaped prisoners take control of a courthouse with Hondo and Deacon inside but unarmed, the two race to save the lives of innocent civilians.
A MILLION LITTLE THINGS (10p ET, ABC) — New. In response to the killing of George Floyd, the friends are forced to reevaluate their own racial biases and take to the streets of Boston.
CHICAGO P.D. (10p ET, NBC) — New. After a series of brutal home-invasion robberies, Upton immerses herself in the case and finds herself caught between Voight and Halstead.
CLIPPED (Discovery+) — This new competition series features 7 skilled topiary artists from across the country as they sculpt shrubs into elaborate designs. The head judge is Martha Stewart, with landscape experts Chris Lambton and Fernando Wong. Michael Urie (Ugly Betty) hosts.
OXYGEN (Netflix) — This new sci-fi thriller stars Mélanie Laurent as a woman who suddenly wakes up in a chamber with no recollection of who she is or how she got there. She’s in a race against time as she has to piece together important events before her time runs out.
THE UPSHAWS (Netflix) — This new sitcom is about a working-class Black family in Indiana. Mike Epps, Kim Fields and Wanda Sykes star.
🔈 TOM CRUISE DEFENDS COVID SAFETY RANT ON MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 7 SET _ Tom Cruise is sticking to his guns that scolding the crew of Mission: Impossible 7 during production was necessary considering the risk of COVID-19 shutting down the shoot. The actor told Empire, “I said what I said. There was a lot at stake at that point.” Back in December, a furious Cruise tore into workers who broke COVID-19 rules on set, erupting into a more than three-minute-long, expletive-filled rant.
… Cruise yelled, “They’re back there in Hollywood making movies right now because of us. We are creating thousands of jobs … I don’t ever want to see it again! Ever! If I see you do it again, you’re [expletive] gone.”
NATALIE PORTMAN AND HUSBAND SPOTTED HOUSE HUNTING IN AUSTRALIA _ Natalie Portman was seen touring an Australian house outside Sydney recently. The 39-year-old and her husband, Benjamin Millepied, pulled up in a white Audi and stood in ankle-high grass as they peered at a blue-roofed brick, stone and wood modern house in a field. The naturalistic home has four corridors that create an inner courtyard, and it has sweeping mountain views, photos show.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ REPORTEDLY SHOCKED BY BENNIFER REUNION _ Alex Rodriguez is said to be as “shocked” as the rest of the world by the new photos of Jennifer Lopez gallivanting around Montana with Ben Affleck. The former baseball star was caught off guard by Ben and Jen’s reunion as he reportedly believed that he and the singer-actress would get back together after calling off their engagement earlier this year. The source added that Rodriguez is “saddened” by Lopez’s vacation with Affleck, so much so that he’s reached out to her to let her know “he’s upset.”
VOICE ACTOR REPORTEDLY RESPONSIBLE FOR AMAZON ALEXA REVEALED _ Amazon’s Alexa has a voice familiar to millions: calm, warm, and measured. But like most synthetic speech, its tones have a human origin. There was someone whose voice had to be recorded, analyzed, and algorithmically reproduced to create Alexa as we know it now. Amazon has never revealed who this “original Alexa” is, but journalist Brad Stone says he tracked her down, and she is Nina Rolle, a voiceover artist based in Boulder, Colorado.
… The claim comes from Stone’s upcoming book on the tech giant, Amazon Unbound. Neither Amazon nor Rolle confirmed or denied Stone’s reporting, which he says is based on conversations with the professional voiceover community.
… Rolle says, “I learned her identity after canvasing the professional voice-over community: Boulder, Colorado — based voice actress and singer Nina Rolle. Her professional website contains links to old radio ads for products such as Mott’s Apple Juice and the Volkswagen Passat — and the warm timbre of Alexa’s voice is unmistakable. Rolle said she wasn’t allowed to talk to me when I reached her on the phone in February 2021. When I asked Amazon to speak with her, they declined.”
THRILLER THE PROTÉGÉ GETS TRAILER _ The first trailer for The Protégé has been released. It’s an assassin thriller starring Samuel L. Jackson, Maggie Q, and Michael Keaton. The revenge film was previously known as The Asset and is set to release on August 20. • VIDEO
TRAILER FOR JULIANNE MOORE IN STEPHEN KING’S LISEY’S STORY _ Apple TV+ just released the first trailer for the thriller, Lisey’s Story. In the bone-chilling first look at the series, which is based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name, unsettling memories from widow Lisey Landon’s (Julianne Moore) marriage to author Scott Landon (Clive Owen) begin to resurface. And while Lisey reveals that her husband “had a history of becoming unstuck to reality,” it appears that she too is struggling to figure out what’s real and what’s not. Lisey’s Story premieres June 4 on Apple TV+. • VIDEO
COURTNEY STODDEN CALLS OUT CHRISSY TEIGEN FOR CYBERBULLYING _ Reality TV star Courtney Stodden rose to fame when at the age of just 16 she married 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison in 2011. Now, 10 years later, Stodden takes a look back at the past decade and in doing so claims former swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen cyberbullied her on Twitter, sending her mean direct messages and saying things like she should kill herself.
… Speaking with The Daily Beast, Stodden addressed the remarks she made to TMZ back in March when Teigen quit Twitter because she felt she was being bullied online. Stodden said, “She wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself. … There were a lot of celebrities acting like playground bullies. Some of the worst treatment I got was from women, and we’re not going to get anywhere if we keep holding each other back.”
… Any tweets Teigen made to Stodden have since been deleted because of her temporarily closing her account. However, a few screenshots still exist.
… Stodden, now 26, also revealed that her divorce from Hutchison, which began proceedings in 2018, was only finalized in March of 2020.
SARAH HYLAND JOINS CAST OF ABC FAIRYTALE DRAMA _ Sarah Hyland left the Modern Family nest… but now she’s flying back to ABC. The actress has joined the cast of the Alphabet network’s drama pilot Epic. The series is described as a romantic anthology “that reinvents fairy tales for a new audience.” Hyland will play Rose, a princess who’s about to marry her Prince Charming — “but her fairy tale gets upended when he has second thoughts, and trying to preserve her dreams opens her up to an unexpected world.”
PETA NAMES RESCUE COW AFTER KIM KARDASHIAN _ As if becoming a billionaire lifestyle guru wasn’t enough, Kim Kardashian now has a cow named after her, courtesy of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), which wanted to honor the celeb’s “dairy-free” diet. The animal right’s Inda branch said, “For Mother’s Day, PETA India names rescued mother cow ‘Kim Kowdashian’ after reality TV star Kim Kardashian. Thanks for promoting a dairy-free diet @KimKardashian!”
… Attached to the press release was a photo of the “drop-dead gorgeous” bovine, which they describe on their website as having “striking eyes and long, dark eyelashes” — just like her 40-year-old celebrity namesake. “Kim Kowdashian” was reportedly rescued by a PETA-approved sanctuary after they allegedly caught the star cow’s former owner abusing her on the street.
AN EXTENDED TRAILER FOR THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD _ On Tuesday an extended preview for Those Who Wish Me Dead was delivered. The Angelina Jolie movie arrives in theaters and on HBO Max at the end of this week. It seems they’re trying to build some extra buzz for this, since there isn’t much yet.
… The plot: While reeling from the loss of three lives she failed to save in a fire, smoke jumper Hannah comes across a traumatized 12-year-old boy with nowhere else to turn. • VIDEO
SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW’S GRISLY OPENING SCENE REVEALED _ The opening torture scene of Spiral: From The Book of Saw has been revealed. Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson star in the film, which comes to theaters Friday. The sneak peek is as classic Saw as you can get. A mouthy detective is lured into a trap by a Jigsaw copycat, complete with iconic pig mask. He then awakes to find himself hung in place above some subway tracks by his tongue. The choice is simple: jump away, ripping his tongue out in the process, or die. • VIDEO
DAYS OF OUR LIVES RENEWED FOR SEASONS 57 AND 58 _ Days of Our Lives has been renewed for Season 57 and Season 58 at NBC. The series celebrated its 55th anniversary in 2020 with Season 56 of the show currently airing. It aired its 14,000th episode in December and remains NBC’s longest-running series.
KIEFER SUTHERLAND IS GOING BACK TO HIS SPY ROOTS _ Paramount+ has picked up an untitled eight-episode series starring the 24 and Designated Survivor alum as a private espionage operative named James Weir who is “in the midst of a battle over the preservation of democracy in a world at odds with misinformation, behavioral manipulation, the surveillance state and the interests that control these extraordinary powers.”
May 12 Entertainment: Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible pandemic rant.
Sarcasm? Is that sarcasm?
I really like the hamburgers here.
IT’S LANDSCAPING SEASON
Spring is in full swing — time to fix up the yard. Some signs you’ve hired the wrong landscaper.
• Plans call for entirely too much dynamite.
• Sidewalk replaced with giant Slip and Slide.
• His weeding technique: Call in an airstrike.
• Automatic sprinkler system consists of dozens of peeing statues.
• On his lunch break he sprinkles weed and feed on his sandwich.
THE MOST COMMON DREAMS AND WHAT THEY MEAN
AUTOMOBILE — Beginning a drive in an automobile generally means that you are in the beginning stages of a new life-plan. Where the car takes you metaphorically shows you where your life should be going. If your car breaks down, you could be placing your trust in someone not worth it.
CELEBRITIES — Meeting a famous person can indicate a profitable new offer will be made. There will be a change for good in your life.
CHASE — To dream of being chased by some frightening being can mean that it is time for you to set out on your destined path. But you are refusing to let go of elements in your life that are hindering your quest.
DEATH — This dream’s analysis depends on the emotional content — if you awoke with a dreadful sense of real death, it could be a true death-dream and you have sensed someone’s passing. If, however, you dream of death without having dark emotions, it has the meaning of release from current worries and actually signifies its opposite: a recovery, a rebirth is about to occur in your life.
FLYING — The meaning of flying dreams is one of good omens. You instinctively know the goals in life and how to seek them. Whether it’s love you seek, or a place in life, or fame and fortune, you will fly over earthly obstacles and find your happiness. Recurrent flying dreams indicate great fortune.
HOUSE — In a dream, a house usually represents You. ROOMS represent different aspects of yourself. DOORS are opportunities. If it is your own home, you are on a solid spiritual foundation. If you dream that you are in a strange new house, it indicates your future, what you must do. The BEDROOM has many obvious meanings… the BED is the most common dream object of all. The BATHROOM… from bathing to using the toilet, are common situations.
LOST — The meaning of this dream is literal. You are lost in your life, adrift. Something is gone from your life — Love, Career, Spirituality.
NAKED — Usually this common dream is a dream of inadequacy: you don’t feel prepared for some event, or for life itself. This dream may have an element of comedy — lighten up. Don’t worry. Traditionally, this has been a dream of money luck. Buy a lottery ticket.
WATER — Traditionally, calm water means good times ahead, clear sailing. Rough waters: caution, reconsider your actions. To drown can be a warning — but also indicate your need for more spiritual examination.
… BATHING: Warm water foretells of increased love in your life or of spiritual rebirth.
… DRINKING WATER: If the water is clear, the dream augurs financial security, prosperity. If it is cloudy; financial problems.
… SWIMMING: Generally, to be swimming is a sign of current good health. If you are swimming naked, you feel energized and ready for the successes of life that are arriving.
FALLING — The most common dream of all. It can mean the dreamer is in fear of losing respect or status; or of financial difficulties; or fading physical vitality; or losing someone’s love. If you land and awaken suddenly, it is literally a “wake-up call” to attend to matters in the physical world.
THE PERFECT DAY ACCORDING TO MEN AND WOMEN
• 8:45am: Wake up to hugs and kisses
• 9:00am: 5 pounds lighter on the scale
• 9:30am: Light breakfast
• 11:00am: Yoga
• 12:30pm: Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
• 1:45am: Shopping
• 2:30pm: Run into ex’s girlfriend or wife, notice she’s gained 30 lbs.
• 3:00pm: Facial, massage, nap
• 7:30pm: Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
• 10:00pm: Make love
• 11:30pm: Pillow talk in his big strong arms
• 10:00am: Wake up
• 10:02am: Have a beer while going to bathroom
• 10:10am: Eat big breakfast
• 11:30am: Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe
• 2:15pm: Enormous lunch
• 3:15pm: Have a beer while going to bathroom
• 3:25pm: Play sports with the guys
• 4:30pm: Drink beer with the guys
• 6:50pm: Huge dinner, more beer
• 11:00pm: Open Netflix app
• 11:10pm: Sleep
TRIVIA: The humans of the world produce 2,500 gallons of this every second. (Sweat)
TRIVIA: You’re checking out at the grocery store and the contents of your cart include a hand. What are you buying? (A cluster or bunch of bananas. Individual bananas are known as fingers.)
I’ll describe four unrelated things or places or people. The first begins with the letter ‘F’; the second begins with the letter ‘O’; and so on.
• An overnight delivery company. (FedEx)
• Something you might put in a martini. (Olive)
• The country in which you live. (United States)
• A fast food clown’s first name. (Ronald)
SPY THE LIE
• Before the Statue of Liberty was erected, the site was home to a U.S. Army fort.
• A normal cow’s stomach has seven compartments. (LIE. It’s four.)
• In the country of Tibet, it’s good manners to stick out your tongue at your guests.
HOLE IN THE HEADLINE
Guess the word that’s missing from this news headline: TACO BELL CUSTOMER SAYS DAMP ______ WAS FOUND IN HER FOOD!
C) Kitchen sponge
It’s never fun finding something that isn’t food lodged inside your meal. One woman in Florida claims that she was about to dig into some Taco Bell when she made a smokey discovery. Taura Helsel ordered a chalupa meal from a Taco Bell in Pensacola, which came with a soft taco. She says that when she got home and unwrapped the taco, however, she found something waiting inside that wasn’t supposed to be there: a damp cigarette. To make matters worse, she says when she went back to the store to complain, she didn’t get the response she expected. In a statement, a spokesperson for Taco Bell said, “We take this very seriously. Our franchisee that owns and operates this location is looking into this matter and will be reaching out to the customer directly.”
• Harvey Keitel is 82
• Stevie Wonder is 71
• Dennis Rodman is 60
• Stephen Colbert is 57
• Iwan Rheon (Game of Thrones) is 36
• Lena Dunham (Girls) is 35
• Robert Pattinson (Tenet, The Twilight Saga) is 35
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1880: In Menlo Park, New Jersey, Thomas Edison performed the first test of his electric railway.
• 1939: The first commercial FM radio station in the United States was launched in Bloomfield, Connecticut. The station later became WDRC-FM.
• 1958: Velcro’s trademark was registered.
• 1992: Three astronauts walked in space simultaneously for the first time.
• 1994: Johnny Carson made his last television appearance, on The David Letterman Show.
• 2002: A Chicago truck driver will never forget this not-so-egg-celent day after he spilled over 180,000 eggs on the highway. Michael Haynes fell asleep behind the wheel of his truck, lost control, and dumped the eggs on parts of I-65. The highway was closed for over three hours and snowplows were used to clean up the mess.
• 2006: Artist David Mach created an 8 foot tall sculpture of a nude woman made from 4,200 Scrabble tiles. The sculpture went on display on this day in West Sussex, England, and cost over $100,000 to build. The artist has previously used magazines, newspapers and car tires in his sculptures.
• 2017: A 22-year-old UK blogger halted the spread of a global ransomware cyber-attack by accidentally identifying “kill switch.”
• 2019: Actress Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty for her part in the U.S. college admissions scandal.
• Leprechaun Day
• Tulip Day
• Cough Drop Day
• Crouton Day
• Hummus Day
• Apple Pie Day
• Fruit Cocktail Day