PRO June 18, 2014

Bits & Breaks Datebook Datebook Tomorrow Entertainment Fun & Games Image of the Day Joke! Last Minute Items News & Nuggets News Attack Number for the Day Television Video of the Day Wacky-But-True


This is day 169 of 2014. There are 196 days remaining.


• Paul McCartney is 72

• Isabella Rossellini is 62

• Carol Kane (Taxi, The Princess Bride) is 62

• Keyboardist Dizzy Reed (Guns N’ Roses) is 51

• Singer and TV star (The Voice) Blake Shelton is 38

• David Giuntoli (Grimm) is 34


• 1767: Samuel Wallis, an English sea captain, sighted Tahiti and is considered the first European to reach the island.

• 1873: Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election.

• 1928: Aviator Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean. She was a passenger; Wilmer Stutz was pilot and Lou Gordon was mechanic.

• 1948: Columbia Records publicly unveiled its new long-playing phonograph record in New York. It played at 33 and 1/3 revolutions per minute.

• 1981: The AIDS epidemic was formally recognized by medical professionals in San Francisco, California.

• 1983: Astronaut Sally Ride became the first American woman in space.

• 1985: Wimbledon made Chris Evert Lloyd and Martina Navratilova co-number one seeds, the first time in the tennis tournament’s 63-year history for a co-top seeding.

• 1992: Italian police arrested a man for stealing 17-thousand little bars of hotel soap.

• 1994: At a Las Vegas auction a collector paid $36,000 for Elvis Presley’s expired American Express card.

• 1996: Ted Kaczynski, suspected of being the Unabomber, was indicted on ten criminal counts.

• 2000: Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open by a record 15 strokes.

• 2006: A British man finally paid a $15 speeding ticket he got in a park in Philadelphia nearly 52 years earlier.

• 2013: Russia passed a law banning foreign same-sex couples from adopting children.


• Today is Splurge Day.

• It’s International Panic Day. Overworked, underpaid, generally stressed? International Panic Day is just what’s needed. It’s the one day of the year when it’s (almost) considered okay to go postal.

• Today is International Sushi Day.

• Today is Go Fishing Day.

• It’s International Picnic Day.



3.3: Times per day the average employee uses the workplace restroom.



One of the complaints about World Cup matches is all the flopping that takes place, players faking injuries. [But the good news is that they’ve been nominated for a Daytime Emmy.]

Surgeons in France wanted to make sure that they didn’t accidentally injure a professional singer’s vocal chords during a serious throat surgery so they kept her conscious and singing during the entire process. [The surgery took longer than expected due to three standing ovations, two encores, and a costume change.]

Nuns in a small Illinois village are suing to close a strip club that moved in next door. They say it violates a law that prevents adult establishments from being so close to houses of worship. [The nuns argue that the strip club is a bad influence on the community and encourages the breaking of Biblical law such as Thy shall not covet thy neighbor’s lap dance.]

A 6-year-old Bolivian girl suffered from mysterious fits of laughter. To her relief, her doctors discovered a simple benign brain tumor and removed it. [Since then, the girl considers Chelsea Handler not in the least bit humorous.]

An Atlanta air traffic controller is under investigation after he told a passenger airliner coming in for a landing that it needed to abort the landing and fly around the airport. When the pilot followed the instructions the controller said, “Just kidding.” [“And the thing about you needing to empty your fuel tank because the rear of your plane is on fire? Dude, you are sooo gullible!”]

During a street celebration of the champion Los Angeles Kings, who won hockey’s Stanley Cup, the Mayor of Los Angeles shocked listeners by intentionally using the f-word. [Then he busted out a few store windows, and set several cars on fire.]

A British man dressed as Scooby Doo for a costume party says the extra padding in the dog suit protected him from serious harm when he was inexplicably attacked by a woman on the street. [She kept screaming, “We would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids!”]

Researchers have discovered that beneath a Picasso masterpiece is another painting of a mysterious man. [This was a typical prank back then. They called it paintbombing.]

Texas Governor Rick Perry says that he’s preparing to make another run for the White House. [Good. Every long drawn out national election campaign needs a little comedy relief.]



LARGEST VIDEO GAME COLLECTION SELLS FOR $750,250 _ Michael Thomasson is the man with the largest video game collection in the entire world, containing more than 12,000 games and 108 consoles. It’s so large that he received a Guinness Record for it, and he’s continued to expand the library by investing more than $3,000 each year. Thomasson recently decided to give up his reign as the top video game collection on the planet in order to have money to “help out family and friends”. He estimated that the collection was worth around $700,000, but got a little more than that when the auction ended on Father’s Day for $750,250. The buyer’s name and identity is currently unknown.

DELTA’S GIRAFFE GAFFE _ Playing in humid conditions in northeastern Brazil, Team USA finally managed to vanquish its World Cup nemesis, Ghana, in an exciting match Monday that saw the boys in red, white, and blue go up 2-1 in the 86th minute after John Brooks’ header. American “soccer” fans were ecstatic, as the Ghanian football squad, known as the Black Stars, had defeated the United States in each of the two previous World Cups. Wishing to partake in the festivities, Delta Airlines posted a tweet depicting the score of the game with what it felt were two appropriate symbols of the competing nations: the Statue of Liberty for the United States and a giraffe at sunset for Ghana. Although Ghana does have sunsets, the country doesn’t have any giraffes (at least not in the wild). Needless to say, Delta received significant backlash in the twittersphere and beyond for its crude cultural stereotyping. The company has since removed the offending tweet and posted the following apology: “We’re sorry for our choice of photo in our previous tweet. Best of luck to all teams.” | image

6-YEAR-OLD’S UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER CAUSED BY BRAIN TUMOR _ A 6-year-old girl in Bolivia was diagnosed with “misbehavior” when she couldn’t stop laughing and giggling, sometimes at inappropriate times. Called “gelastic seizures,” the young girl couldn’t control her laughter or keep herself from having outbursts — and doctors soon learned what was really going on. The little girl was not acting out — she was suffering from a serious medical condition. The girl underwent a brain scan and doctors found a hamartoma — a small, benign tumor. The tumor was pressing against the girl’s temporal lobe, causing her strange, previously unexplainable behavior. The young girl underwent surgery to have the tumor removed and she stopped have gelastic seizures.

THERE’S A GROWING BACKLASH AGAINST FOOD PHOTOS _ People love to post pictures of their food on social media. But there’s a growing backlash, of sorts, popping up. Whether intentionally gross or just poorly photographed, “foodie fails” are cropping up on Twitter, Reddit, and other corners of the Internet. Bad food pictures really took off last November when Martha Stewart became a lightning rod after she posted a series of unappetizing pictures to Twitter. Now people are sharing not only appetizing food items, but also gross ones, like the “canned ham, pineapple, and flaming Cheetos sandwich”.

NORTH KOREA AIRS TAPED VERSION OF WORLD CUP MATCH _ The reclusive country of North Korea, infamous for protecting its citizens from exposure to the outside world, is airing taped versions of the World Cup. Saturday’s match between England and Italy was shown on Monday. Thursday’s opening ceremony and Brazil-Croatia game was aired a day late. The games were borrowed footage from a South Korean broadcaster with that company’s name blurred on the screen. North Korea’s soccer team did not qualify for the World Cup.

$1.8M WATERFRONT HOME MUST BE REMOVED _ A developer who mistakenly built a $1.8 million waterfront house on park land has been ordered to remove it. The Rhode Island Supreme Court found that the home, built by developer Four Twenty Corp., was built entirely on land owned by the Rose Nulman Park Foundation, and therefore must be removed. The developer began building the home in 2009, but didn’t discover the error until 2011. It argued it should not be penalized for an innocent surveying mistake. The court said the park’s property rights outweighed that. It’s not known whether the unoccupied house can be moved or will have to be torn down.

GASOLINE SURPLUS IS DEFINITELY COMING _ Experts (International Energy Agency) say the U.S. can expect a surplus of gasoline in the next few years. Although uncertainty caused by turmoil in Iraq will likely raise the price of gasoline this summer, the U.S. gas demand is expected to decline by 1% per year for the rest of the decade. The U.S. currently accounts for about 10 percent of world consumption of oil.

CABLE BOXES USE AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF ENERGY _ Game of Thrones is about a collection of power-hungry individuals. This, it turns out, is appropriate. Because the machines many people use to experience the show are themselves collections of power-hungry individuals. Set-top boxes are shockingly greedy energy-guzzlers. There are approximately 224 million of them in the United States and, combined, they consume approximately the same amount of electricity as would be produced by four nuclear reactors — enormous ones, running around the clock. According the L.A. Times the boxes have become “the biggest single energy user in many homes, apart from air conditioning.”

… That’s because they are extremely bad at downtime. The boxes don’t just consume power when you’re using them; they also suck up energy when they’re turned off. That’s in turn because there’s a whole mess of work being done under the boxes’ casing: spinning hard drives, program guide updates, software downloads, all going on in the background. In fact, the devices use nearly as much power turned off as they do when they are turned on.

STORM CHASER SLAMMED AFTER POSTING PHOTO OF DYING 5-YEAR-OLD _ Just weeks after saying he wanted to see “some highly destructive tornadoes to make it rain for me financially,” a storm chaser’s June 3 picture of a dying 5-year-old tornado victim is spreading rapidly, and the chaser has had to defend himself for choosing to publish it. The photo remains on storm chaser Mark Farnik’s Photojournalist Storm Invictus Facebook page. The picture shows two rescuers carrying five-year-old Calista Dixon’s gray, battered, lifeless body across a rubble-strewn landscape towards an ambulance. Farnik justified posting the photograph on his Facebook page and selling it to the media in the face of extremely heavy criticism.

… He also announced that he is planning on starting a fundraiser to help with Calista’s funeral costs as a result of “[his] very sad and tragic picture that has now been seen around the world.” The photo has been published in newspapers and on news websites (including on the AP Images website), a point which Farnik has used to justify his publishing the image.

… Most of the comments against publish the picture reference concerns about the little girl’s privacy.

ONE LAST TRIP TO THE FOREST _ After a long illness, Ed was diagnosed as terminal, and was referred to Evergreen Hospice of Kirkland, Washington. He confided to their chaplain that he longed to see the outdoors again, because he’d been inside for several years. Ed had been a forest ranger, a job he dearly loved. Chaplain Curt Huber contacted a local fire protection agency to see if they could help. Curt and Ed’s case manager accompanied him and several members of the Snohomish County Fire District on an outing to Meadowdale Beach Park in Edmonds, Washington. Ed was picked up and transported in the EMS vehicle; other members of the fire department traveled in a fire truck. Together, the group took Ed up and down the trails, bringing him the scents of the forest by touching the fragrant growth and bringing their hands close to Ed’s face. Ed was delighted.

MAYOR ROB FORD IS COMING BACK TO WORK _ Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, in treatment for his substance abuse problems, told city officials that he will be returning to work on June 30 “in the later portion of the afternoon.” Canada’s Globe and Mail newspaper reported that Ford’s office locks had been changed during his leave. Ford took a leave from his official duties on April 30 after months of speculation about the mayor’s alleged drug and alcohol abuse and his political future. Ford admitted to smoking crack in November but said he would not step down. He is running for re-election in October.

SITTING TOO LONG INCREASES RISK OF CERTAIN CANCERS _ New research suggests being sedentary for long periods of time increases the risk of developing certain cancers. In their analysis, researchers found that for every additional two hours of sitting each day the risk of colon cancer went up 8 percent. The same amount of additional sitting lead to a 10 percent increase in the risk of endometrial cancer and a 6 percent increase in the risk of lung cancer.

EARTH HAS ITS WARMEST MAY ON RECORD _ Two of the leading centers that track global surface temperatures have reported their data for May, and they both found it to be the warmest such month on record for the planet. NASA found that May had an average global temperature that was 1.38 degrees Fahrenheit above average, which would make it the warmest such month, coming out far ahead of May 2012. The Japanese Meteorological Agency’s separate analysis also found both May and the meteorological spring months of March through May to be the warmest on record.

… Later this week, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) will release their global numbers, which typically closely match the other centers, but sometimes differ slightly in rankings.



WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GIGANTIC ARM PAYS OFF FOR ARM WRESTLER _ A German man born with one arm much bigger than the other is carving out a career as a professional arm wrestler. Matthias Schlitte was born with a gigantic right arm — measuring almost 18 inches around the forearm — due to a genetic defect. Schlitte is a brand ambassador for AEG Power Tools has built a career around his superstrong limb. It all began when he was 16 and wandered into a small bar hosting an armwrestling tournament. After taking down every other contestant, he realized that he was pretty good at wrestling — when it was one-armed. Schlitte has since traveled the world taking on the world’s best.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN SHOPPER RIDES ESCALATOR BELT _ A woman got more than she bargained for when she rested her hand on the rail of a shopping mall escalator. The unsuspecting elderly lady was caught on camera being yanked off the ground and pulled upwards, with her legs astride the rotating belt like she was riding a horse. Her friend tried to hold on to her pal, but soon realized she couldn’t battle the escalator and decided to follow close behind. Video

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: RUNAWAY D-DAY HERO GETS 2,500 ‘B-DAY’ CARDS _ A World War II veteran went to Normandy without telling his retirement home. The 90-year-old disappeared from The Pines retirement community in East Sussex, England, so he could attend D-Day commemorations earlier this month. The man said one of the highlights of his secret trip was the women he met on a boat to France who treated him to a song. After the returned home word of his sneaky adventure — around his birthday — went global and he’s since received over 2,500 birthday cards.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: 911 TRANSFERS MAN’S ROBBERY CALL TO VOICE-MAIL _ Four men broke into a Port Richey, Florida, home and began beating up a man, his wife and his stepmother while demanding money and prescription drugs. The men left, giving the homeowner time to call 911, but as the dispatcher went to transfer the call from the fire department to law enforcement the caller was inadvertently taken to a voicemail. The armed men returned and the homeowner shot one of them.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: HER BOOBS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LAW _ Sophie Dalzell is a 20-year-old topless model in Manchester, England. She’s in trouble with the law because she skipped a court date on a charge of assaulting two police officers because she instead flew to Belgium to get breast augmentation surgery. Dalzell, who makes her living appearing on late-night, adult TV programs, said, “My boobs and my appearance are more important than the law. My career depends on it.” When Dalzell, who has already racked up 11 convictions on various assault and vandalism charges, presented a letter from her plastic surgeon confirming she had the breast-enlargement surgery the court let her go.



SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (8p ET, FOX) — Jenna Dewan-Tatum and Charles “Lil Buck” Riley are the guest judges in this new, 2-hour edition.

LAW & ORDER: SVU (8p ET, NBC) — Two repeats air back go back.

HAWAII FIVE-O (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat

THE MIDDLE (8p ET, ABC) — Repeat

ARROW (8p ET, CW) — Repeat

SEASON FINALE: MELISSA AND JOEY (8p ET, ABC Family) — The show will be back for a 4th season.

THE GOLDBERGS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat



THE 100 (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

SUITS (9p ET, USA) — New

SEASON FINALE: BABY DADDY (9p ET, ABC Family) — The show will be back for a 4th season.

THE GOLDBERGS (9:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat

CSI: (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat

CHICAGO P.D. (10p ET, NBC) — Repeat

MOTIVE (10p ET, ABC) — New

DUCK DYNASTY (10p ET, A&E) — New




‘THE SITUATION’ WAS ARRESTED IN A TANNING SALON _ Former “Jersey Shore” star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was arrested after getting into a physical altercation at his family-owned tanning salon in Middletown, New Jersey, Tuesday. The alleged fist fight broke out between Sorrentino and his brother Frank. The Sitch was the only one arrested and taken into custody.

… Late Tuesday he posted $500 bail after getting booked for simple assault.

DAVE CHAPPELLE CRASHED THE ‘TODAY’ SHOW _ Dave Chappelle is everywhere, all of a sudden After the normally reclusive comedian announced his Radio City Music Hall shows last month, he’s since popped up on both Letterman and Fallon to plug his show dates, and Tuesday morning he crashed the Today show to announce the addition of four more Radio City shows. He crashed the show old-school by standing outside the Today show window while holding up a hand-made sign promoting his performances.

LORDE REVEALS PART OF J-LAW’S EMAIL ADDRESS _ Singer Lorde shared a small part of Jennifer Lawrence’s email address with the Internet. Lorde said it has the word ‘butt’ in it.

LORDE’S PARENTS ENGAGED AFTER 30 YEARS _ After three decades and several children, including musical superstar Lorde, Vic O’Connor finally proposed to Sonja Yelich at Niagara Falls on Monday. Lorde, whose real name is Ella Yelich-O’Connor broke the news on Twitter. The 17-year-old singer wrote: “BEST DAY – went to niagara falls – my dad proposed to my mum after almost 30 years together.” O’Connor, an engineer, and Yelich, a poet, have three other children together — Jerry, India and Angelo.

WOMAN TRYING TO LOOK LIKE JESSICA RABBIT _ Australian-born model Penny Brown has been dramatically altering her body for the past two years to look like cartoon character Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Brown, who now lives in Okinawa with her husband, has had breast implants to boost her cup size from an already ample 34H to an eye-popping 36O, and wore a corset for 23 hours a day for four months to shrink her waist by 15 inches. Her extreme measures have provoked criticism that she is ruining her body, and she has even received death threats. Brown defended her decision, saying, “Jessica Rabbit’s figure is sensual, strong and extreme and it’s a pleasure to replicate that in real life.” | Does she look like Jessica?

MELANIE GRIFFITH COVERS UP ANTONIO BANDERAS TATTOO _ Melanie Griffith stepped out at a film festival in Italy Tuesday afternoon, marking her first red carpet appearance since the news broke that she was splitting from her husband of 18 years, Antonio Banderas. The actress was all smiles, but two of her accessories caught everyone’s attention: Her famous heart-shaped tattoo dedicated to her partner of almost two decades and her wedding ring. The 56-year-old switched her sparkler from her left ring finger to her middle finger on the same hand. She also appeared to have covered up the name of her soon-to-be ex with makeup or has already begun the process of getting tattoo removal.

‘SCOOBY-DOO’ REBOOT MAY GO LIVE ACTION _ Warner Bros. is exploring a live-action “Scooby-Doo” movie, a year after announcing that it was developing an animated Scooby-Doo feature film. The studio is in talks with a writer. A 2002 live-action/computer-generated Scooby movie made $275 million worldwide.

KIM KARDASHIAN IS RELAUNCHING HER POP CAREER _ Kim Kardashian is looking to relaunch her career in pop music. In 2011, Kim attempted the whole singing thing with her song “Jam (Turn It Up)”, but it was a colossal flop. Now she is apparently enlisting the help of her husband Kanye West.

DR. OZ TESTIFIES DURING SENATE WEIGHT-LOSS SAFETY HEARING _ Dr. Mehmet Oz visited Capitol Hill Tuesday to testify before the Senate subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety and Insurance during a hearing to examine protecting consumers from false and deceptive advertising of weight-loss products. The Dr. Oz Show host, who’s been criticized in the past for some of the weight-loss products he promotes on his series, was grilled by Senate members on the importance of having the public’s best interests and health in mind while promoting diet pills and supplements on his show. Sen. Claire McCaskill said during the hearing, “People want to believe you can take an itty-bitty pill to push fat out of your body. … I know you know how much power you have. I know you know that. You are very powerful and with power comes a great deal of responsibility. … You’re being made an example of today because of the power you have in this space.”

… Oz argued: “I came here because I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. I have things that I think work for people. I want them to try them just to help them feel better so they can keep doing the other things we spend every single day on the show talking about.”

PAUL SIMON, EDIE BRICKELL DOMESTIC-DISPUTE CASE IS DROPPED _ If Paul Simon and Edie Brickell behave for the next 13 months, all will be forgiven. By the legal system, at least. A Connecticut court clerk said the prosecutor had decided not to follow through with the case that saw Simon, 72, and Brickell, 48, each slapped with a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge related to an alleged domestic-violence incident in April. The prosecutor reserved the right to revive the case if either musician was charged again during the specified time period. A court date set for Tuesday was canceled.

MARK BALLAS IS FINE AFTER CRASH _ A Mark Ballas car accident that took place Monday left many Dancing With the Stars fans feeling anxious. Luckily, it seems the dancing pro and musician will be fine. Ballas was driving and about to make a right turn when a vehicle allegedly was speeding when it rammed into the right-hand back side of Mark’s vehicle. Though several guys from the other car involved apparently jumped out and started pointing blame at the DWTS star, a witness on the scene told authorities that the second car had been speeding, thus indicating that the accident wasn’t Mark’s fault. Right after the accident Ballas complained of back pain and whiplash, so his girlfriend BC Jean took him to the hospital. He was checked out by doctors and sent home to recuperate.

COLIN FIRTH LEAVING ‘PADDINGTON’ MOVIE _ Colin Firth will no longer voice Paddington in the upcoming film adaption of Michael Bond’s story about a Peruvian bear who travels to England and finds himself lost at Paddington Station. The 53-year-old actor told Entertainment Weekly in a statement that, “after a period of denial” he and the movie’s production team have “chosen ‘conscious uncoupling.'” Firth’s departure from Paddington comes only five months prior to the film’s scheduled British release date of November 28. The actor said in his statement that it had been “bittersweet to see this delightful creature take shape and come to the sad realization that he simply doesn’t have my voice.”

… Also starring Nicole Kidman, Peter Capaldi and Sally Hawkins, Paddington will premiere in the United States on Christmas Day.

NO FAMILY FEUD OVER CASEY’S REMAINS _ Casey Kasem’s three eldest children have no plans to fight their estranged stepmom over his final resting place. The kids – Kerri, Mike and Julie – were at his bedside when he died early Father’s Day morning and say they believe his spirit will be with them when they hold a memorial service this weekend without any physical remains. Kerri was her dad’s conservator during his final days in hospice but informed the hospital shortly after his death that her stepmother, Jean Kasem, was taking over as the decision maker.




Week of June 9-15

1. NBA Finals: Miami vs. San Antonio, Game 5, ABC, 18 million

2. NBA Finals: San Antonio vs. Miami, Game 4, ABC, 14.96 million

3. NBA Finals: San Antonio vs. Miami, Game 3, ABC, 14.78 million

4. America’s Got Talent (Tuesday), NBC, 11.54 million

5. The Big Bang Theory, CBS, 8.37 million

6. NCIS, CBS, 8.07 million

7. 60 Minutes, CBS, 7.45 million

8. Game of Thrones, HBO, 7.09 million

9. Night Shift, NBC, 6.7 million

10. NCIS: Los Angeles, CBS, 6.58 million

11. Blue Bloods, CBS, 6.52 million

12. Hillary Clinton: Public & Private, ABC, 6.46 million

13. Mom (Thursday), CBS, 6.37 million

14. 24: Live Another Day, Fox, 6.29 million

15. Dateline NBC: People vs. OJ, NBC, 6.28 million

16. 20/20, ABC, 6.23 million

17. NHL Finals: New York Rangers vs. Los Angeles Kings, Game 5, NBC, 6.02 million

18. Criminal Minds, CBS, 5.69 million

19. 48 Hours (Monday), CBS, 5.68 million

20. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CBS, 5.4 million


(Jock) finally got a smart phone. He’s been working all morning to input things into its calendar. I just saw him enter a note on the 4th of July to remind himself to take down the Christmas decorations.


A new study of walkable urban places (WalkUPs) claims that cities should be following in Washington D.C.’s development footsteps. Out of the 30 biggest metropolitan areas in the country, D.C. has been ranked most walkable.

Top 10 Most Walkable Metro Areas

  1. Washington, D.C.
  2. New York
  3. Boston
  4. San Francisco
  5. Chicago
  6. Seattle
  7. Portland
  8. Atlanta
  9. Pittsburgh
  10. Cleveland


• Each year three to five people are killed in North America in wild animal attacks, primarily by sharks and bears.

• Vending machines caused 37 deaths between 1978 and 1995, crushing customers who rocked and toppled the dispensers. No recent stats exist, but the machines are still a danger.

• One-third of fatal ATV accidents take place on paved roads; more than 300 people died in on-road ATV wrecks in 2011.

• About 95 Americans are killed by riding mowers each year.

• Drowning is the fifth largest cause of accidental death in the U.S., claiming about 10 lives a day.

• More than 700 people die annually in falls from ladders and scaffolding.

• Hypothermia kills almost 1,000 people a year in the U.S.

• In 2012, 32 people died felling trees.

• About 100 hunters a year die falling from trees in the U.S. and Canada.

• An average of 675 people die each year in the U.S. from heat-related complications.


Thank you, Buzzfeed, for the translations…

What it usually means: Celebrating every month or year with flowers, and Hallmark cards, and cutesy gifts.
What is means now: Making last-minute dinner plans every 365 days.

What it usually means: Sleeping in each other’s arms, sometimes for an entire night.
What is means now: Something you do for about two minutes until someone’s arm goes numb, and you roll to opposite corners of the bed to actually sleep.

What it usually means: Being thoughtful. For example, waking up early to cook breakfast for someone because they have a big job interview.
What it means now: Being thoughtful. For example, leaving the room to fart.

What it usually means: Making your attraction known to someone you’re interested in.
What it means now: A sneaky way to get your significant other to do the dishes.

Showering together
What it usually means: A fun, sexy time!
What it means now: You both woke up late for work.

What it usually means: Going out on the town as a couple.
What it means now: Finally going to Home Depot to buy new smoke detectors like you’ve been talking about for weeks.

What it usually means: Being open and transparent about what you expect out of your relationship.
What it means now: Telling your significant other their breath stinks so they doesn’t lose their job.

Fancy dinner
What it usually means: Making reservations at an expensive restaurant that serves food you can’t pronounce the name of.
What it means now: Not watching Netflix during dinner.


We like to point fingers at the rest of the world, but we’re pretty screwed up also.

• Even though the first three were just fine, people keep making new Star Wars movies.

• We put little sweaters on dogs.

• Some people think Elvis is still alive.

• We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines.

• We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight.

• We’ve managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, yet some guy named Edward Snowden can give away our most important secrets to the entire world.



TRIVIA: The first time this sporting event was held 15 people competed. This year over 32,000 did. (Boston Marathon)

TRIVIA: The calories burned daily by these animals is an incredible 10,000. What animals? (The sled dogs running in Alaska’s annual Iditarod race.)


Conference 3 listeners and then read the description of the item and let the bidding begin. The contestant with the highest bid without going over the retail price wins. (Here’s a hip version of the Price Is Right theme.)

Today’s item: The Personal Viking Ship!

Live out your fantasies of sea-faring exploration and pillaging with the Personal Viking Ship. Sold by The Viking Ship Museum and hand-built to order by skilled craftsmen using authentic tools in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde, these ships are as close as you can come to inheriting an ancient vessel that belonged to a distant ancestor. Oh, and should the personal size not be up to your standards, don’t worry — there’s a full range of models, including the intimidating, nearly 10-meter-long Gokstad battle cruiser.

What is the price of the Gokstad Personal Viking Ship, which includes 6 pair of oars and a sail? ($216,000)



A frog went to visit a fortune teller. “What do you see in my future?” asked the frog. “Very soon,” replied the fortune teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. “But when will I meet her?” She replied, “Next week in science class.”



Peter’s Computer.



Now they mark speeding tickets if you’re fat? Hat tip to subscriber Lisa Barry: “On the bright side, at least I didn’t get a ticket for being overweight!”

Source: Lisa Barry. Do not direct link.



• A “banned” Grey Poupon ad.

• 15 punctuation marks in order of how much they do.

• 23 of New York’s finest low brass musicians join forces to perform Game Of Thrones’ theme music.

• Michael Keaton and a great cast in Birdman.

• The Onion has officially launched its parody of buzzy sites. Welcome to Clickhole.

• Every Game Of Thrones death tabbed. No spoilers.

The Encyclopedia of Radio Promotions is full of 1,000+ ideas.

• Dove pays tribute to dads.

• It’s World Cup time. Facebook and Twitter have World Cup hubs.

• Plug in your date of birth to see if You’re Getting Old.

• A coffee table for those who play Risk.

• Moms perform I’m So Pregnant parody of Iggy Azalea’s Fancy.

• This is the most amazing ping pong table you will ever see.



This is day 170 of 2014. There are 195 days remaining.


• Gena Rowlands (Peyton Place, The Notebook) is 84

• Phylicia Rashad (The Cosby Show) is 66

• Ann Wilson of Heart is 64

• Kathleen Turner (Body Heat, Romancing the Stone) is 60

• Paula Abdul is 52

• Mia Sara (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Timecop) is 47

• Jean Dujardin (The Monuments Men, The Wolf of Wall Street) is 42

• Robin Tunney (The Mentalist) is 42

• Poppy Montgomery is 39

• Scott Avett of The Avett Brothers is 38

• Cartoon cat Garfield is 36

• Zoe Saldana (Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Trek movies) is 36

• Macklemore of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis is 31

• Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine, There Will Be Blood) is 30

• Atticus Shaffer (The Middle) is 16


• 1846: The first baseball game under recognizable modern rules was played in Hoboken, New Jersey.

• 1865: Over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation, slaves in Galveston, Texas, were finally informed of their freedom. The anniversary is still officially celebrated in Texas and 13 other contiguous states as Juneteenth.

• 1910: The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington.

• 1941: General Mills in Minneapolis created a new dry breakfast cereal called Cheerie Oats. The name was later shortened to Cheerios.

• 1967: Catherine Murphy of Bonsall, California, became the first female golfer to play 150 holes without resting.

• 1978: The Garfield comic strip debuts. It would grow to over $1 billion in revenue within over 110 countries.

• 1987: Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream and the Grateful Dead’s Jerry Garcia announced a new ice cream flavor: Cherry Garcia.

• 1993: Toronto police reported that a business burglar had left a thumb print in the owner’s Silly Putty.

• 2005: An Arkansas, man survived with only minor injuries when a car skidded into his bedroom, rolled him up in his mattress and sprayed gasoline through his home. Ricky May of Pine Bluff was pinned under the Ford Taurus.

• 2006: Prime ministers of several northern European nations participated in a ceremonial “laying of the first stone” at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Spitsbergen, Norway.


• Today is Sauntering Day. Take it easy; relax; go for a stroll and enjoy some valuable ‘me time’ on Sauntering Day — a day which encourages you to slow down and enjoy the world around you.

• It’s Recess At Work Day.

• Today is Garfield the Cat Day. He first appeared today in 1978.

• It’s Dump the Pump Day. Take public transportation!

• Today is Martini Day.