PRO July 30, 2014

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Bits & Breaks Datebook Datebook Tomorrow Entertainment Fun & Games Image of the Day Joke! Last Minute Items News & Nuggets News Attack Number for the Day Television Video of the Day Wacky-But-True


DATEBOOK: JULY 30, 2014

This is day 211 of 2014. There are 154 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is 80

• Blues guitarist Buddy Guy is 78

• Paul Anka is 73

• Jazz saxophonist David Sanborn is 69

• Arnold Schwarzenegger is 67

• Jean Reno (The Da Vinci Code, Mission Impossible) is 66

• Ken Olin (thirtysomething) is 60

• Delta Burke (Designing Women) is 58

• Laurence Fishburne (CSI, Matrix movies) is 53

• TV chef Alton Brown (Good Eats, Iron Chef America) is 52

• Lisa Kudrow is 51

• Vivica A. Fox is 50

• Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris) is 46

• Simon Baker (The Mentalist) is 45

• Director Christopher Nolan (Batman movies, Inception) is 44

• Tom Green is 43

• Christine Taylor (The Brady Bunch Movie, Dodgeball) is 43

• Hilary Swank (Oscar winner) is 40

• Jaime Pressly (My Name Is Earl, Not Another Teen Movie) is 37

• Seth Avett of The Avett Brothers is 34

• Soccer player Hope Solo is 32

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1729: The city of Baltimore, Maryland, was founded.

• 1792: The French national anthem (La Marseillaise by Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle) was first sung in Paris.

• 1863: American automaker Henry Ford was born in Dearborn Township, Michigan.

• 1945: The USS Indianapolis, which had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian, was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine; 880 men lost their lives.

• 1971: Apollo 15 astronauts David R. Scott and James B. Irwin landed on the moon.

• 1975: Former Teamsters union president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in suburban Detroit. Although presumed dead, his remains have never been found.

• 2002: WNBA player Lisa Leslie of the Los Angeles Sparks became the first woman to dunk in a professional game during her team’s 82-73 loss to the Miami Sol.

• 2003: In Newport News, Virginia, Robert Sorrels was arrested for being a peeping tom. And there was basically no way he could deny the charge. The cops matched him up with a pair of lip prints that were lifted from the window he was seen peeping into.

• 2005: Diners at a pizza restaurant in a western Austrian town panicked and called the police when a nearly 10-foot-long tiger python was seen slithering across the restaurant floor. The cops managed to catch the snake before anyone was bitten.

• 2008: Police in Michigan arrested a man who they say tried to steal posters and other items related to the Batman movie The Dark Knight from a cinema lobby while dressed up as the Joker.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Today is Cheesecake Day.

• It’s Father-In-Law Day.

• Today is Friendship Day.

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NUMBER FOR THE DAY

1,000: Cost, in dollars, to hire Scott Campbell for one hour of tattoo artistry.

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NEWS ATTACK!

A new study finds that you can cut your risk of cardiovascular disease by running even a few minutes a day. [Does it count if I’m running after the ice cream truck?]

The latest report says that at least 1 out of every 3 Americans has been reported to a collection agency for overdue payments. [Curse that Pajama-of-the-Month Club’s easy enrollment plan!]

The online dating firm OKCupid admits that for years it has experimented with manipulating people’s profiles and matches. For example, they would tell people that they were a 90% match when they were actually only a 30% match. [Finally, a reasonable explanation of how Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise got together.]

A team of astronomers at Harvard says that we should try a new approach to looking for signs of alien life. Look for indications of industrial air pollution. [In other words, we should look for an alien species as dumb and greedy as we are.]

Nine months after the federal government shut down for two weeks there’s been a baby boom at DC-area hospitals. [Many of the parents are remembering the occasion by naming their babies Furlough, Cabin Fever, and Bored.]

The New York Post is reporting that Beyonce is looking for her own apartment. [She needs room for the baby, and a building with an elevator large enough for her sister to do a full flying scissor kick.]

Florida officials are warning that the beaches there are registering high levels of flesh-eating bacteria. [The bacteria isn’t originally from Florida, but it retired there.]

The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) reports that years of data show that contaminated vegetables make more people sick than tainted meat. [That sound you here is kids everywhere who have science to thank for no longer having to eat everything on their plates.]

Temple University announced that it’s no longer interested in SAT scores for admission. [However, it’s keeping the weightlifting requirement.]

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NEWS & NUGGETS

LAST SURVIVING MEMBER OF ENOLA GAY CREW IS DEAD _  The crew of the Enola Gay bomber that dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima is now only in the history books. The last surviving member, navigator Theodore “Dutch” Van Kirk, has died in an Atlanta retirement home at age 93. Van Kirk was 24 when he helped direct the “Little Boy” bomb onto Hiroshima, Japan, on August 6, 1945. Though it killed 140,000, Van Kirk said years later that he felt the bomb was necessary to defeat Japan. He also told the AP in 2005 that he wished nuclear weapons would be abolished.

USPS WILL SOON HAVE A FLEET OF REALLY OLD VEHICLES _ The U.S. Postal Service estimates that most of its current fleet of vehicles are going to reach the end of their life cycle by 2017. Of the Postal Service’s 190,000 vehicles, 142,000 of them will reach the end of their life expectancy during or before 2017. The oldest members of the fleet are 27 years old, lacking safety features that are now standard or required. According to a USPS Office of the Inspector General report, designing and replacing vehicles to replace the current familiar postal vans could take up to a decade and cost $5 billion.

INSTAGRAM LAUNCHES BOLT _ The newest app from Facebook/Instagram is official — and it’s boring. The company announced Tuesday that Instagram Bolt has been launched for iOS and Android users in New Zealand, Singapore and South Africa. Bolt is a way for people to quickly share images via one-on-one messaging. With a single tap, you shoot and send a photo or video. Once you swipe away a Bolt message, it’s gone for good.

UNDER-25s ARE SMARTER AND SAFER THAN EVER _ It’s an old belief that every generation is more rebellious than the one that came before it. Ask any member of Generation X and they’ll probably tell you that kids today are sending society into the toilet. The reality is that compared with the previous generation, a relatively large proportion of young people are unemployed, saddled with loan debt and still living with their parents. Millennials, it might seem, despite being better educated than their forebearers, are failing at life. But not so fast. According to a look at some new data (culled from sources ranging from the Economic Policy Institute to the U.S. Department of Justice to the Centers for Disease Control) young adults in the U.S. are actually far more straight-laced than they were 20 years ago. When it comes to general shenanigans — including alcohol and drug use, teen pregnancy, violent crimes and more — rates have declined across the board over the past 20 years, except when it comes to smoking weed (which has risen 38 percent).

MOM ARRESTED FOR LETTING HER 7-YEAR-OLD WALK TO THE PARK _ Nicole Gainey was arrested and charged with neglect — because she let her 7-year-old son walk to the park alone. The Florida mom believes her son is old enough to walk down the street unsupervised. However, officials with the Port St. Lucie Police Department disagree. On Saturday afternoon, Dominic Gainey asked his mother for permission to walk to the park. Nicole agreed, as her son is mature for his age and carries a cell phone in case of an emergency. Nicole said she did not think she “was doing anything wrong.” She was simply “letting him go play” with his friends. On his way to the park, Dominic was stopped and questioned by an unidentified group of people. As he is not supposed to talk to strangers, Dominic said he “got scared” and “ran off to the park.” Shortly after he arrived, he was approached by several police officers. When questioned by police, Dominic admitted he had walked to the park alone. The officers took the boy home and proceeded to interrogate his mother. Nicole Gainey was later arrested and charged with felony child neglect. She was eventually released on $4,000 bond. In their report, the officers noted that Dominic was not safe as “numerous sex offenders reside in the vicinity.” She plans to fight the criminal charge.

FIRE DESTROYS RESTAURANT, OWNER CONTINUES TO PAY STAFF _ Bruce Kroll, who owns a Culver’s restaurant in Platteville, Wisconsin, found himself in a tough spot when he discovered that his restaurant had burned down (last November). While the insurance covered his 40 employees’ pay for 60 days, Kroll decided the right thing to do was to pay his workers out of pocket until the restaurant was rebuilt — which amounted to about four months’ worth of pay, or a total of $144,000. He used profits from another Culver’s franchise he owns in Iowa to help pay his Wisconsin workers until it reopened. Kroll asked that his employees pay it forward and spend some time volunteering in the community.

WOMEN SHOULD NOT LAUGH IN PUBLIC _ Ladies: If you like to laugh, stay away from Turkey. The country’s Deputy Prime Minister says women should not laugh out loud in public. He was referring to a part of the Quran which says: “She will not laugh in public. She will not be inviting in her attitudes and will protect her chasteness.”

UPDATED HANDICAPPED SYMBOL _ A revamped version of the blue and white icon that’s long symbolized accessibility everywhere from parking lots to restrooms will soon be commonplace in more communities. Under a bill signed late last week, New York will be come the first state to require all new and replacement signage used to signify accessibility for people with disabilities to include a more active, in-motion image of a person using a wheelchair. The state will also change the terminology on such signs, using the word “accessible” instead of “handicapped.”

HIKERS FIND DOG MISSING IN WOODS FOR 22 DAYS _ A family out for a hike found a dog missing more than 3 weeks in the woods. The hikers found the weak and hungry Bullmastiff in steep terrain on Saturday. They hiked out to call the sheriff’s office, then hiked back to stay with the dog. Rescuers made contact with the family at about 3 a.m. The dog, after snacking on granola bars and dog food, was sleeping comfortably in a sleeping bag provided by the family. The team decided that due to the difficult terrain they would wait until daylight to attempt the rescue of Madison.  At about 6:30 a.m. Sunday, the group began the process of helping the dog out. This included a climb up over and back down a steep rock face and several hundred yards of travel in a creek. Later Sunday morning Madison was reunited after 22 days with her owners.

BYE BYE 40 HOUR WORK WEEK _ The 40-hour workweek is a distant memory. A new survey found 88% of us work more than 40 hours a week. 7 out of 10 take work home at least once a week. Over half  of us would spend more time with family or exercise if we could reclaim an extra 60 minutes a day. Then again, Americans spend 5 hours a day watching TV — would we really spend extra time exercising?

HOW TO GET MORE REACTION FROM YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE _ Want to get more reaction to your online dating profile? It’s all about the photo. An OkCupid study of 7,000 photos discovered women get more attention when they flirt into the camera or smile. Men, on the other hand, get more attention when they look away from the camera and don’t smile. Women, apparently, want a man that looks mysterious, and men want a friendly looking woman. What do we have in common? The color red. We’re both drawn to the color red.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s your online dating profile trick — the thing that gets you noticed?

CELL PHONE FIRE — IN BED _ This should scare the pants off you. A 13-year-old’s Texas girls’ cell phone melted after it slipped under her pillow while she slept. Ariel Toltree claims the phone overheated which caused the battery to swell and start a fire. She said the smell of the burning phone woke her up but she “didn’t think much of it,” so she went back to sleep. She woke up again when “it was more prominent.” Samsung claims that their products are safe, but said the battery inside her phone was a replacement and not an original Samsung part. They also added that rechargeable batteries will do this if there’s no airflow to keep them cool. Bottom line: Don’t sleep with your phone.

THE HOMELESS NEED POSITIVE VIBES _ Anthony Bustos was driving in San Francisco when he noticed a homeless man holding a sign which said: “Poor, hungry.”  Bustos said he had no inclination to give money to the man but wondered if he would feel differently were something different written on the sign. So Bustos is donating his efforts for a “marketing makeover” for panhandlers in the city, making what he thinks are better signs for them. Examples: “Law School Isn’t Cheap”, “Everyone Has A Dream — Mine Includes You Sparing Some Change” and “Hogwarts or Bust”. Bustos says that “The idea is just as much about sending positive vibes to the city’s commuters as it is helping the homeless.”

SQUIRREL BLOWBACK _ The city of Berkeley, California, had a squirrel problem. Cesar Chavez Park, a 90-acre park covering a former landfill, had an abundant squirrel population that was digging toward the clay cap sealing off the landfill’s contents, causing a risk of toxic substances being released into the San Francisco Bay. Initially, the city planned to exterminate the squirrels, but that caused a blowback in the form of 81,000 angry letters, and so many emails that they crashed the city’s servers. So, the city government did what cities do best: they formed a squirrel subcommittee. After several months, the committee reached a solution: stop feeding the squirrels. A new law was passed criminalizing the feeding of wildlife in city parks.

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WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN CALLS COPS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BAD DRUGS _ A 54-year-old Oklahoma (Enid) woman is facing felony drug charges after police said she called and said she thought her methamphetamine was laced with something. When an officer showed up at her home to check out her meth he arrested her.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TOURISTS FLEE ‘DRUNK, AGGRESSIVE’ TOUR GUIDE _ An Australian tour guide allegedly drove her group around while drunk. The owner of the tour company has apologized to the eight tourists, who fled for their hotel rooms after the tour bus was pulled over by cops.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LAZY GAMER STEALS CLEAN CLOTHES _ A guy in China sentenced to eight months in jail for stealing clothes from people’s homes told police he was so consumed by his Internet gaming obsession that he had no time to do his laundry. The 22-year-old confessed to the crimes, saying that his intense gaming habit had prevented him from washing his own clothes.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: CANADIAN WOMAN PLUCKED BIRD ON BUSY TRAIN _ A Canadian woman who upset passengers by plucking a dead goose on a crowded train says she is amazed by the attention. Christina David says she can’t believe a video of her preparing her dinner has attracted so much attention. David is from a village in arctic northern Quebec. The grainy video shows her bent over a plastic bag on the floor, while other passengers stare, hold their noses or move away. David says she was simply excited about cooking a goose her aunt had brought her from the north. Video

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DRUNK-DRIVING LAWMOWER MAN _ A man was arrested in Colorado for driving his riding lawnmower the wrong way down a busy street while drunk.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: 300 WEDDING GUESTS DECIDED TO FIGHT _ Two people were arrested for disorderly conduct Sunday night when a giant brawl involving almost 300 wedding guests broke out in Central New Jersey. Two off-duty officers were working the reception as security when they first learned about a fight. When they tried (and failed) to keep the peace, the scuffle quickly escalated to about 80 guests. When backup was called for some much-needed assistance, the brawl had grown even more to approximately 300 wedding guests. According to reports, the altercation consisted of fighting, yelling, screaming and even some urinating. Police eventually decided the best solution was to completely shut down the wedding party. But even that idea proved to be a challenge. It took authorities almost 45 minutes to clear out the facility and have everyone leave the area. The cause of the huge brawl is still unknown.

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ON TELEVISION

BIG BROTHER (8p ET, CBS) — House guests vie for the power of veto in this new edition.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (8p ET, FOX) — In this new, 2-hour edition, Christina Applegate is the guest judge at the Top 14 perform.

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (8p ET, NBC) — This is a recap of the performances by the first 12 acts.

THE MIDDLE (8p ET, ABC) — Repeat

SERIES PREMIERE: PENN & TELLER: FOOL US (8p ET, CW) — In this new competition, aspiring magicians are invited to perform their best trick to try and fool the world-famous Penn & Teller. Anyone who succeeds wins the right to perform with Penn & Teller at the Rio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. British TV and radio personality Jonathan Ross is the host.

THE GOLDBERGS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (9p ET, NBC) — Five acts will advance to the next round on tonight’s results show.

CRIMINAL MINDS (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat

MODERN FAMILY (9p ET, ABC) — Repeat

SUITS (9p ET, USA) — New

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (9p ET, TLC) — Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson looks into his ancestry to discover his great-grandfather was a hustler.

SHARKNADO 2: THE SECOND ONE (9p ET, SyFy) — The freak storm of man-eating fish returns to wreck havoc, this time on Manhattan. (The original Sharknado was set in Los Angeles). Tara Reid, Ian Ziering, Vivica Fox, and Mark McGrath star in this campy sequel.

THE MIDDLE (9:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat

EXTANT (10p ET, CBS) — Extant moves to a new time with this new episode.

TAXI BROOKLYN (10p ET, NBC) — New

MOTIVE (10p ET, ABC) — New

GRACELAND (10p ET, USA) — New

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ENTERTAINMENT

BEYONCÉ DIVORCE: SHE’S GOT A NEW PAD _ The Beyoncé divorce from Jay-Z appears to be a foregone conclusion, if reports appearing in the media are accurate. But if they’re not, the fact that the superstar was seen checking out a super-swanky $21.5 million apartment in Manhattan has only fueled the speculation. The apartment where Beyoncé was spotted home-shopping by herself, according to a report in The New York Daily News, is a penthouse located at 520 West 19th Street, in Manhattan’s upscale Chelsea neighborhood, overlooking the Hudson River. The space includes five bedrooms and five bathrooms.

… BEYONCÉ’S RESPONSE TO THE BREAKUP RUMORS _ If there is one saying Beyoncé is very aware of, it’s “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Over the past few months, the singer has battled rumor after rumor that her marriage to Jay Z is on the rocks – even as they continue their joint On the Run tour. The latest report: that she was seen apartment-shopping by herself. But instead of releasing a statement declaring that marital strife is tabloid fiction, she took to a tried-and-true medium: Instagram. On Tuesday — hours after the apartment-hunting story made the rounds on the Internet — she posted a sweet photo of Jay Z and their daughter Blue Ivy on the beach. The caption read: “My favorite hue is Jay Z Blue.”

JESSE VENTURA WINS LAWSUIT AGAINST DEAD NAVY SEAL _ Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has won a $1.8 million defamation lawsuit from a slain Navy SEAL sniper. Ventura sued the estate of former Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle — who had the most confirmed kills by any U.S. military sniper in history — after Kyle allegedly wrote about Ventura in his 2013 book, American Sniper. In the book, Kyle wrote that he punched out a celebrity while mourning the death of a Navy SEAL and future Medal of Honor recipient. Kyle did not name the celebrity in the book but did say that he took a swing at the celebrity after he “started running his mouth about the war and everything and anything he could connect to it.” Kyle said that the celebrity — allegedly Jesse Ventura — connected President George W. Bush and deployed SEALs that were “doing the wrong thing, killing men and women and children and murdering.” According to Jesse Ventura, none of this ever happened. Kyle continued in his book, stating he told the celebrity to keep it down. The celebrity, allegedly Jesse Ventura, then said that the SEALs “deserved to lose a few.”

… Kyle wrote in his book: “Being level-headed and calm can only last so long. I laid him out. Tables flew. Stuff happened. Scruff-Face ended up on the floor.” Kyle later told interviewers while promoting his book that the celebrity was actually Jesse Ventura.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES 9-11 POSTER UPSETS _ Settle down, America. Paramount Pictures’ marketing division in Australia made a small facepalm moment happen Tuesday when its official account tweeted out a movie poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles showing the heroes in a half-shell jumping from an exploding skyscraper. Pretty ordinary stuff, until people saw the movie’s Australian release date — Sept. 11. There was some brief online outrage and Paramount Australia deleted the tweet and apologized.

A NEW ‘N SYNC ALBUM WAS JUST RELEASED _ It’s time to whip out the old binder with all of those ‘N Sync magazine clippings because Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez and Joey Fatone are back. The boy band’s label has released a new album from the group. In fact, it was so top secret and out of left field that the guys themselves didn’t know it was happening. Lance tweeted: “I love when the record label doesn’t even tell you they are releasing a new ‘NSYNC album tomorrow ! #TheyCare”. The Essential is a two-disc compilation of the former boy band’s biggest hits throughout their career.

NETFLIX TO PAY AT&T FOR HIGH-QUALITY VIDEO STREAMING _ Netflix has struck a deal with AT&T, under which the No. 1 Internet video-streaming company will pay the U.S.’s biggest phone company fees to guarantee high-quality delivery. The deal represents the third major U.S. broadband provider Netflix has cut such a deal with, after Comcast and Verizon Communications.

LISA VANDERPUMP SELLING VILLA BLANCA _ Lisa Vanderpump is selling Villa Blanca, the restaurant she made famous on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

BRYAN SINGER SEX ABUSE ACCUSER BEING DROPPED BY HIS LAWYER _ After director Bryan Singer filed a motion to dismiss a sex abuse lawsuit, the plaintiff’s lawyer has withdrawn from the case. In the lawsuit, Michael Egan claims that Singer sexually abused him from age 15 to 17 and flew him to Hawaii for sex. Singer says he was in Canada working on X-Men during the time period when Egan alleges the trips to Hawaii took place. Now, Egan is being dropped by his lawyer.

… The news comes on the heels of a Buzzfeed report that claims Herman, Singer, and Singer’s lawyer signed an agreement to settle the case in June, but Egan refused to sign.

TV LAND PICKS UP JIM GAFFIGAN’S SITCOM PILOT _ TV Land announced Tuesday that it has ordered 10 episodes of The Gaffigan Show, starring Jim Gaffigan. The sitcom, which was a pilot at CBS, is inspired by the comedian’s real life and will chronicle “one man’s struggle in New York City to find a balance between fatherhood, stand-up comedy, and an insatiable appetite.”

MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY EXITING DWTS _ Maksim Chmerkovskiy says he’s hanging up his “Dancing With the Stars” shoes. He said on Tuesday’s The View: “I’m done dancing [on] ‘Dancing With the Stars’. I feel like it’s time.”

ESPN SUSPENDS STEPHEN A. SMITH _ Stephen A. Smith has been suspended by ESPN over his controversial domestic abuse comments. On Friday, during ESPN’s First Take, Smith discussed Ray Rice’s two-game suspension in the wake of an alleged domestic abuse incident, noting that Rice’s then-fiancée Janay Palmer could’ve prevented the attack. After facing backlash for his comments, Smith apologized on the air Monday. But the apology wasn’t enough, and Smith has been suspended until August 6.

JUSTIN BIEBER BEVERLY HILLS CONDO RESIDENTS LAWYER UP _ Justin Bieber neighbors at his Beverly Hills condo are reportedly dead serious about not wanting to live in an insanely expensive frat house. After parties in which the cops showed up four times,  the Home Owner’s Association (HOA) has hired an attorney to specifically to handle Bieber-related issues.

JENNY McCARTHY DENIES CRITICIZING COUSIN’S WEIGHT _ Jenny and Melissa McCarthy aren’t at odds, despite rumors that the reality star criticized her cousin’s weight in the past. Jenny spoke out Tuesday about the rumors in a bid to squash them completely and reinforce the fact that she has nothing but love for Melissa. Jenny McCarthy said, “There is a crazy story going around that I once told my cousin, Melissa, that she would have to lose weight in order to get into show business. Nothing could be further from the truth.” While Jenny helped the actress get her foot in the door, Melissa McCarthy’s success in the spotlight is her own doing. Jenny explained that when Melissa was just starting out, “I was fortunate enough to be in a position to get her a job on a show I was doing.” Jenny added, “She has accomplished everything she has accomplished through hard work and her extraordinary talent…”

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BITS & BREAKS

TOP TV SHOWS

Week of July 21-27

1. America’s Got Talent (Tuesday), NBC, 10.43 million

2. America’s Got Talent (Wednesday), NBC, 10.32 million

3. NCIS, CBS, 8.7 million

4. 60 Minutes, CBS, 7.66 million

5. The Big Bang Theory, CBS, 7.13 million

6. The Bachelorette, ABC, 7.09 million

7. Under the Dome, CBS, 6.74 million

8. Big Brother (Wednesday), CBS, 6.63 million

9. NCIS: Los Angeles, CBS, 6.56 million

10. Extant, CBS, 6.483 million

11. Big Brother (Thursday), CBS, 6.482 million

12. Unforgettable, CBS, 6.45 million

13. Big Brother (Sunday), CBS, 6.43 million

14. Blue Bloods, CBS, 6.3 million

15. Dateline NBC, NBC, 6.12 million

16. Master Chef, Fox, 6.02 million

17. American Ninja Warrior, NBC, 5.82 million

18. 20/20, ABC, 5.58 million

19. Major Crimes, TNT, 5.56 million

20. The Millers, CBS, 5.35 million

THINGS MEN NEED TO STOP WEARING TO THE GYM IMMEDIATELY

• Vibram FiveFingers Shoes

• Super short-shorts

• Huge basketball shorts

• Sweat-stained T-shirts

• Boots

• Denim

• Sandals

• Nip slip tanks

• Bare feet

WHAT’S THE BEST THING YOU EVER BOUGHT FOR A DOLLAR?

From the CNN Money readers:

• A 1986 Toyota Xtra (guy bought it from his priest in 1999)

• Four gallons of gas (guy lives in Saudi Arabia where gas is cheaper than water)

• A copy of the Des Moines Register bearing news of JFK’s assassination

• An “Ultimate Comics Doom” #1

• $100 (four quarters into a slot machine)

• A Beatles 45 rpm record (back when this guy was a kid)

• Peace and quiet (woman bribed her children to be quiet)

HOW TO SCREW UP YOUR KIDS!

Parenting is not easy, but at least you can make up for your mistakes. Try to avoid these:

You’re obsessed with getting your kid into Harvard. Kids that are under tremendous pressure to succeed from their parents have higher rates of drug use, petty crime, and depression

You’re rude to the overworked waitress at Ruby Tuesday. You can lecture all day about manners, but it’s what you do in front of them that matters.

You think your kid is the next Bryce Harper. Pushing your child into year ’round training puts them in danger of injury, or they’ll want to quit before they reach their potential.

You let your kids quit everything. Kids need to exercise at least an hour a day with no more than two hours of screen time.

You let them post on Instagram and then you stalk them. Young people use social media as a primary place to hang out. Yes, there’s cruelty, but learning to cope with it can teach kids important skills.

Your marriage makes the ones in Game of Thrones look healthy. A messy marriage leads to long lasting damage for your kids. Kids need a supportive , stimulating environment to develop the skills they need later in life.

WHAT MEN WOULD CHANGE ABOUT THEIR PARTNERS

What would guys change about their mates if they could? You won’t believe what the No. 1 response is.

• 26% – Nothing! Yep, more than 1 in 4 guys say they’d change nothing about their significant.

• 24% – The nagging.

• 20% – Her lack of spontaneity.

• 18% – Her sexual appetite.

• 12% – Her domestic habits.

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FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: 67% of men would do this to avoid an argument. (Lie)

TRIVIA: Of the 7 billion people in the world, 1 billion doesn’t own one of these. Superstar Elton John is one. (Mobile phone)

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JOKE OF THE DAY

A man goes into the doctor. He says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!” The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only to hear, “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.” The doctor said, “I’ve never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?” The man said, “That’s nothing — put your ear to my knee!” The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard, “Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!” The doctor says, “Sir, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen — er, heard — anything like this.” The doctor was dumbfounded. The man said, “Wait, that’s not it. There’s more — just put your ear up to my ankle.” The doctor did as the man said and sure enough, he heard his ankle plead, “Please, I just need 15 dollars. Lend me 15 bucks, please!” The doctor says, “There’s nothing about it in the medical books, but I can make a well-educated guess. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places.”

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VIDEO OF THE DAY

Drunk on trampoline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khLqDPfEHbg

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IMAGE OF THE DAY


Source: guysim.com

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LAST MINUTE ITEMS

Game About Squares. It’s a game.

• Trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road.

• All the places your can get a military discount.

The Encyclopedia of Radio Promotions has 1,000+ ideas.

• This pediatrician makes getting shots fun.

• Trailer: Benedict Cumberbatch in the historical drama The Imitation Game.

• I know where your cat lives.

• While you work at your desk, rest your feet in this hammock.

Nice one, dad!

• Mega three person hammock!

• Radio loves The Frog, The Wolf, The Bear… how ’bout The Lobster?

• Artist reincarnates childhood drawings.

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DATEBOOK: JULY 31, 2014

This is day 212 of 2014. There are 153 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Don Murray is 85

• Geoffrey Lewis is 79

• Gary Lewis of Gary Lewis and the Playboys is 69

• Michael Biehn(Aliens, Kyle Reese in The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day) is 58

• Drummer Bill Berry (R.E.M.) is 56

• Wesley Snipes (will be seen in The Expendables 3) is 52

• Fatboy Slim is 51

• J.K. Rowling is 49

• Dean Cain(Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) is 48

• Eve Best (Nurse Jackie) is 43

• Annie Parisse (The Following, Alexandra Borgia on Law & Order) is 39

• Robert Telfer (Saved by the Bell) is 37

• B.J. Novak (Inglourious Basterds, Ryan Howard on The Office) is 35

• Rico Rodriguez (Manny Delgado on Modern Family) is 16

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1790: The first U.S. patent was issued, granted to inventor Samuel Hopkins for a potash process.

• 1930: The radio mystery program The Shadow aired for the first time.

• 1971: Apollo 15 astronauts became the first to ride in a lunar rover.

• 1975: In Detroit, Michigan, Teamsters Union president Jimmy Hoffa was reported missing.

• 1980: Fictional character Harry Potter was born today.

• 1981: A seven-week strike by major league baseball players ended.

• 1990: Nolan Ryan became the 20th major league pitcher to win 300 games as his Texas Rangers beat the Milwaukee Brewers 11-3.

• 1995: The Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Capital Cities-ABC Inc. in a $19 billion deal.

• 1996: Three brothers, a sister, and two cousins all drowned while trying to rescue a chicken and each other from a 60-foot-deep well in Nazlat Imara, Egypt. The chicken survived.

• 1997: Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago announced that “the Teddy Bear Lady,” a $15-thousand-a-year secretary who passed out teddy bears to children in the hospital, had left $18-million for research into children’s diseases. Gladys Holm, who never married and had no heirs, apparently had invested wisely in the stock market.

• 2002: A knife-wielding robber in the Philippines was beaten up by his victim, a 25-year-old pregnant woman with a black belt in taekwondo. Clarissa de Guzman of Manila said when the robber focused his attention on her jewelry and money, she kicked him in the head, then in the groin and all over.

• 2005: Diners at a pizzeria in a western Austrian town panicked and called the police when a nearly 10-foot-long tiger python was seen slithering across the restaurant floor. The cops managed to catch the snake before anyone was bitten.

• 2012: A second power grid failure in two days left 670 million people in India without power.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Today is Chili Dog Day.

• It’s World Ranger Day.

• It’s Mutt’s Day. Mutts deserve their day in the spotlight as much as a pure breed.

• Today is Cotton Candy Day.

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