PRO February 5, 2015

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Audio • Bits & Breaks • Datebook • Datebook Tomorrow • Entertainment • Fun & Games • Image of the Day • Joke of the Day! • Last Minute Items • News & Nuggets • News Attack • Number for the Day • Television • Video of the Day • Wacky-But-True 

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DATEBOOK: FEBRUARY 5, 2015

This is day 36 of 2015. There are 329 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Baseball Hall of Famer Hank Aaron is 81

• Football Hall of Famer Roger Staubach is 73

• Charlotte Rampling is 69

• Barbara Hershey (Hannah and Her Sisters) is 67

• Actor-director-comedian Christopher Guest (Spinal Tap, Best in Show) is 67

• Tim Meadows (Saturday Night Live) is 54

• Jennifer Jason Leigh (Backdraft) is 53

• Laura Linney (The Big C, The Truman Show, Mystic River) is 51

• Chris Parnell is 48

• Singer Bobby Brown is 46

• Michael Sheen is 46

• Darren Criss (Glee) is 28

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1919: Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks, and D.W. Griffith launched United Artists.

• 1924: The Royal Greenwich Observatory began broadcasting the hourly time signals known as the Greenwich Time Signal or the “BBC pips”.

• 1972: Bob Douglas became the first African American elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

• 1972: U.S. President Richard Nixon ordered the development of a Space Shuttle program.

• 1988: Manuel Noriega was indicted on drug smuggling and money laundering charges.

• 2001: Four disciples of Osama bin Laden went on trial in New York in the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa.

• 2002: A federal grand jury indicted John Walker Lindh, the so-called ”American Taliban,” on 10 charges, alleging that he was trained by Osama bin Laden’s network and that he conspired with the Taliban to kill Americans.

• 2003: Secretary of State Colin Powell urged the U.N. Security Council to move against Iraq, saying that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and was harboring terrorists — claims that later turned out to be false, but that had been fueled by Saddam Hussein himself.

• 2004: In Campinas, Brazil an unidentified man lost two bags at the bus station when he sat them down on the platform and went to get himself a beer. So he did what any upstanding citizen would do when finding their luggage missing, he reported his loss to the police on duty at the station. Which would have been fine except for one thing. Those bags didn’t have any clothes in them; they were jam packed full of marijuana. And they absolutely reeked of the stuff. Security guards had smelled it and the cops had picked up the bags while the man was enjoying his brew.

• 2006: The Pittsburgh Steelers won a record-tying fifth Super Bowl with a 21-10 win over the Seattle Seahawks.

• 2008: A playground for the over-60 set opened in Manchester, England. Instead of slides and merry-go-rounds, it was equipped with machines specially designed to provide gentle exercise for different parts of the body such as hips, legs and the torso. There were also stations for pull-ups, push-ups and pedaling and, to stretch the mind as well as the body, engravings of quotes from famous philosophers dotted around the park.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Weatherperson’s Day

• World Nutella Day

• Frozen Yogurt Day

UPCOMING

• February 14: Valentine’s Day (Saturday)

• February 16: President’s Day (Monday)

• February 19: Chinese New Year (Thursday)

• March 8: Daylight Saving Time begins (Sunday)

• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day (Tuesday)

• March 20: Spring begins (Friday, 6:45p ET)

• More holidays

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NUMBER FOR THE DAY

6: Miles of nerves in the human body.

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NEWS ATTACK!

The pope’s Harley-Davidson goes on sale today (Thursday). [Well-maintained; low mileage; only driven to church on Sundays. ]

Lady Gaga was at LAX without pants. [Anything to get through security faster. ]

North Korea has called off any future nuclear talks with the U. S., and instead is issuing new threats. [Like hacking the movie 50 Shades of Grey, and adding the cast of 60 Minutes.]

Malls in China are empty because people are staying home and purchasing online. [What’s the point of being a first class economy if you can’t purchase a big screen TV in your boxers?]

Staples is buying Office Depot. [In bulk.]

The Atlanta Falcons are under investigation for trying to distract the other teams by illegally piping in extra pre-recorded crowd noise. [Which explains why the crowd kept shouting, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall!”]

CBS has pulled the comedy The McCarthys. [Better late than never.]

North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis said that he thinks restaurant employees shouldn’t be forced to wash their hands before preparing food. [The same way, apparently, politicians aren’t required to think before speaking.]

In Pennsylvania a man pleaded guilty to helping people cheat drug tests by selling them fake urine. [He was so scared that there was a fake wet spot on his pants. ]

A zoo in Pittsburgh has been ordered to stop using dogs to herd its elephants. It stresses the elephants. [The zoo has also been told to stop using the elephants to tow illegally parked cars.]

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NEWS & NUGGETS

SECRET MILLIONAIRE: FORMER JANITOR BEQUEATHS $6 MILLION AFTER DEATH _ Ronald Read, a former janitor and service station attendant from Vermont, astonished his neighbors by leaving $6 million to his local library and hospital, and his community is just now learning about his secret talent for investments. Read died last June at the age of 92. Known by friends to be extremely frugal, he worked for 25 years at a service station, before retiring and working for JCPenny until 1997 out of boredom. According to Read’s attorney he also enjoyed a secret talent at picking stocks, and his investments grew substantially over the years he held them, leaving him with millions.

… After his passing, Read left $4.8 million to the Brattleboro Memorial Hospital and $1.2 million to the town’s Brooks Memorial Library. The donations are the largest single gifts in the history of both institutions.

80% OF ALL MOBILE DATA IS CONSUMED BY JUST 10% OF USERS _ Cisco Systems this week offered some insight into just how much mobile data the world is consuming — 2.5 exabytes a month, to be exact – and now a new report (from Amdocs) sheds a little light on who among those billions of users is consuming the most. Just 10 percent of mobile users are consuming 80 percent of the world’s mobile data traffic. The study looked at 25 million voice and data connections in major cities around the world, all with lots of smartphone usage, and found that power users are often using as much as 10 times more data than the average mobile subscriber.

UPDATE: 81-YEAR-OLD FATHER ISN’T ACTUALLY RELATED TO LONG LOST SON _ One of the most heart-warming stories of last month might not have the happy ending people thought. It was the story of an 81-year-old Michigan man who used Facebook to find a long lost 61-year-old son he never knew he had. But a recent paternity test has revealed that the father and son aren’t actually related after all.

… To recap, it all started when 81-year-old Tony Trapani discovered a note written by another woman and hidden by his late wife in a filing cabinet that read, “I have a little boy. He is 5-years-old now. What I’m trying to say Tony is he is your son. He was born November 14th, 1953.” Trapani never saw the letter for 56 years, but was finally reunited with the person he thought was his son. Tony used social media posts to track down Samuel Childress. After the emotional reunion, the father and son decided to take a paternity test to find out for sure if they were truly father and son. The test came back negative. The son Trapani worked so hard to find is a complete stranger. Childress received the disappointing test results in the mail on Monday.

… But even though Childress isn’t actually related to Tony Trapani, he claims the two have already bonded so well that they will continue their close relationship. The letter from Childress’ mother is still a mystery.

MOST MILLENNIALS CONSIDER ONLINE FLIRTING A FORM OF CHEATING _ In a new survey almost 85% of millennials consider online flirting a form of cheating.

… 26% have sent a sext message.

… 8% have made a sex tape.

MOM OF 6 GETS BREAST SURGERY TO BE A BETTER EXAMPLE TO HER DAUGHTERS _ A British mother of six who has size FF artificially enhanced breasts just went in for her fourth breast surgery. But this time was different. This time she says she got breast surgery to be a better example for her daughters. And this time she got a reduction. Gemma got her first implants when she was in her early 20s because she felt insecure about her A-cup figure. She didn’t feel like a “proper woman” at that size. She told the surgeon, “I want the biggest you can put in. I thought once I had a boob job, all my problems would be solved and I’d feel amazing.” But Gemma went too far with the implants. Now she feels differently about her breasts: “They just look like two bald men’s heads down my top … They look comical.” More importantly, she feels like having implants, especially such large ones, are a bad example for her daughters. So Gemma had the huge implants removed and is much happier now with her natural-looking D-cups.

WHY DO CATS LOVE BOXES? _ Large boxes, shoe boxes, and even just items that look like boxes — cats, it seems, can’t resist squeezing into cardboard spaces. Scientists say they haven’t fully understood why our feline friends have a love for boxes, but they have a number of theories. The most popular is that cats are instinctively drawn to boxes because they offer security and shelter from predators while they stalk their prey. A veterinarian (at Utrecht University) in the Netherlands recently studied stress levels in shelter cats. She discovered that cats who had boxes got used to their new surroundings faster than those who didn’t because the boxes acted as a coping mechanism. Boxes also offer safe places for cats to take a nap. Felines can sleep for 18 to 20 hours a day, so seeking out a hidden place would help their chances of survival in the wild.

… They could also be trying to escape unwanted attention. According to The Domestic Cat: The Biology of its Behavior, cats don’t have good conflict resolution strategies and running and hiding is a coping mechanism for this.

… But it’s not just boxes. Cats appear to try to fit into any enclosed space such as drawers and shopping bags. Wired magazine claims that this may be because cats are trying to stay warm. Compared to humans, felines have a much better tolerance to higher temperatures. Small places are ideal insulators, which may explain while a cat will try and curl up in a shoe box.

SOME ARE UPSET ABOUT CARNIVAL’S ‘COME BACK TO THE SEA’ AD _ With its new Come Back To The Sea Super Bowl ads, Carnival Cruises has angered creationists, who believe the company is promoting evolution in its invitation to head for the ocean (and onto one of its giant ships). The issue stems from the ad’s voiceover, which borrows a speech that President John F. Kennedy made before the 1962 America’s Cup. | VIDEO

GUY’S MISSION: ERASE SINGLE ERROR FROM WIKIPEDIA _ Bryan Henderson has made more than 47,000 edits to the site since 2007, and almost all of them were to fix one error: the incorrect use of “comprised of.” Henderson, a 51-year-old software engineer, is one of the most active editors on the site. Every Sunday he runs a software program he wrote himself searching for his pet peeve phrase: any articles he hasn’t already edited in the past six months get fixed. He usually does about 70 to 80 edits a week, which takes no longer than an hour.

… As for the grammatical error itself, let’s just say many people get the verbs “to comprise” and “to compose” confused, and typically, “comprised of” should actually be “composed of,” “consists of,” or similar. Henderson has his own 6,000 word Wikipedia entry on the subject.

BARBER SHAMES BAD LITTLE KIDS BY GIVING THEM ‘OLD MAN’ HAIRCUTS _ It’s hard to keep kids in line. It’s also hard to embarrass kids these days. They’ll make a fool out of themselves a hundred times on social media before a parent gets a chance to do it at a crowded school event. A barber in Atlanta has found an awesome way to keep kids in line — mess up their look by giving them old man haircuts. Got a kid who’s all about the trouble? Three days a week, parents can take their misbehaving kids to A-1 Kutz and ask for the “Benjamin Button Special,” which Russell Fredrick and his team of barbers are offering — free of charge — to parents who want to try a novel form of discipline.

… The cut involves shaving hair off the child’s crown until he begins to resemble a balding senior citizen. Supporters say it’s the perfect punishment for misbehaving kids who want to “act grown.” | PHOTOS

FIVE-STAR RECRUIT COMMITS TO USC WITH EPIC MUSIC VIDEO _ Announcing the school you’ve committed to with a press conference is so 2009. And doing it on ESPN is so 2012. Instead of going the usual path of commitment day madness, 5-star recruit Iman Marshall teamed up with sports blog Bleacher Report to drop a music video set to Mac Miller’s “Best Day Ever.” Iman was torn between LSU, USC, UCLA, Michigan, Notre Dame and FSU, but ultimately made a decision to stay in his hometown of L.A. as a Trojan. | VIDEO

COCKROACHES HAVE PERSONALITIES _ Cockroaches may be ugly and may be among the most loathed creatures on the planet but at least, scientists say, they have personality. Researchers studying the behavior of the insects have discovered they have individual character traits. Scientists observed the character traits as they studied the way the insect seeks shelter when they come out into the open. If they had the same personalities they would all behave exactly the same when in the open but observations have revealed differences. Some, those classified as shy, keep hidden as much as possible and seek the safety of shelter while the more adventurous are all about exploring their surroundings.

UPDATE: NEW HOME FOR TRAIN STATION DOG _ A dog who became a global star after being abandoned at a Scottish train station with his belongings in a suitcase has found a new home. ‘Kai’ was discovered tied to a railing outside the station last month next to a suitcase containing a pillow, toy, food bowl and food. After his story was publicized, officials found themselves inundated with offers to adopt Kai from people all over the world. His lucky new owner is self-employed hydraulic engineer named Ian Russell. Russell said he was left heartbroken when his Dalmatian Mica, who he had owned for 15 years, passed away just before Christmas. When he heard about Kai he immediately applied to adopt him but didn’t think that he stood a chance. And when he learned he had been successful he said it was a “bit like winning the lottery”.

… Ian says Kai –a Shar-Pei crossbreed — can expect to lead an active and adventurous life because he works all over Scotland, mainly outdoors, and Kai will accompany him.

FACEBOOK IS PROBABLY DEPRESSING YOU _ You might visit Facebook when you’re bored or feeling blah, but the network could make your mood even worse — if you’re the jealous type. According to a study recently published in the academic journal Computers in Human Behavior, researchers recruited 736 college students who use Facebook for about two hours per day and distributed surveys to find out exactly how they use Facebook. Lucky for Facebook addicts, researchers didn’t find a direct link between Facebook use and depression: The heaviest users were no more likely to be depressed than less active users. However, students who used Facebook the most, overall, spent more time Facebook-stalking their friends. Because most people use Facebook to project the most flattering versions of themselves, browsing other people’s seemingly perfect profiles can make you jealous. And it should come as no surprise that the students who were most envious, as per the surveys, were especially prone to depression too.

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WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE RECOVER STOLEN CASH FROM ROBBER’S BUTT _ When police found a suspected robber outside a Seattle gas station they quickly recovered a knife, but needed some assistance locating the stolen cash. A pat-down of the suspect did not uncover the cash so police took the man in to a police station, where the suspect admitted to keeping the money between his butt cheeks. He pulled two twenty-dollar bills from his posterior and gave them to police.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY POSTS PERSONAL AD WANTING TO MEET WOMAN WHO FARTED NEAR HIM _ We’ve heard of unique ways to try to hook up, but a guy in the UK has come up with a new one. The man, who goes by the super cool handle “Stylish Mullet Guy,” was apparently in a train station when he noticed a lovely lady sitting near him who tried to play it off like she hadn’t just passed gas. This must have appealed to “Stylish Mullet Guy” because he then placed this personal ad online: “To the blonde in the red rain coat at Mountain Ash train station. You looked around to see if anyone heard you pass wind. We shared a smile. Coffee?”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOUNDED ELDERLY WOMAN SHOOTS BURGLARS _ A 71-year-old Georgia woman confronted two intruders Monday morning. During the break-in they fired a gun at her. She suffered three bullet wounds, but kept her wits about her and returned fire with her own gun. She was taken to a hospital and the intruders are still at large.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN UNPLUGS TRAFFIC LIGHT TO CHARGE PHONE _ A guy in China desperate to charge his phone ended up disrupting traffic after he plugged his mobile into a traffic light. Officers found the man had opened the light’s switch box and unplugged the controller in order to charge his phone.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN KICKED OUT OF MCDONALD’S OVER KANGAROO ‘SERVICE ANIMAL’ _ A Wisconsin woman was kicked out of McDonald’s last week after another customer complained about her therapy pet. Diana Moyer brought the baby animal into the fast food restaurant Friday morning. Another customer called police to report the animal, saying it was not appropriate or safe for it to be there. Moyer claimed her animal — a baby kangaroo — was a service animal and showed police a note from her doctor. But officers told her that other customers felt unsafe with the animal there and asked her to leave. Moyer’s husband admitted that the kangaroo was not a service animal but was a therapy pet for his wife as she battles cancer.

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ON TELEVISION

THE BIG BANG THEORY (8p ET, CBS) — New

AMERICAN IDOL (8p ET, FOX) — IN this new edition, Hollywood Week continues with the group rounds.

THE BLACKLIST (8p ET, NBC) — This is a repeat of the episode that aired after the Super Bowl on Sunday.

GREY’S ANATOMY (8p ET, ABC) — Connie Ray (The Big C) guest stars in this new edition.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (8p ET, CW) — New

MOM (8:30p ET, CBS) — Mark Saul (Grey’s Anatomy) guest stars in this new episode.

SCANDAL (9p ET, ABC) — Marla Gibbs (The Jeffersons) guest stars in this new episode.

THE BLACKLIST (9p ET, NBC) — Ron Perlman guest stars in this new episode.

TWO AND A HALF MEN (9p ET, CBS) — New

BACKSTROM (9p ET, FOX) — Sarah Chalke (Scrubs) guest stars in this new episode.

REIGN (9p ET, CW) — New

PROJECT RUNWAY ALL STARS (9p ET, Lifetime) — In this new edition, the designers create red-carpet gowns inspired by the beauty of Marilyn Monroe

THE BIG BANG THEORY (9:30p ET, CBS) — Repeat

ELEMENTARY (10p ET, CBS) — New

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER (10p ET, ABC) — Marcia Gay Harden guest stars in this new episode.

SERIES PREMIERE: ALLEGIANCE (10p ET, NBC) — This new drama revolves around the O’Connor family and their son, Alex (Gavin Stenhouse), an up and coming CIA analyst. Little does he know that both of his parents and his sister are part of a dormant Russian sleeper cell that has just been reactivated. Hope Davis (The Newsroom) and Scott Cohen (Necessary Roughness) star.

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ENTERTAINMENT

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT ISSUE FEATURES FIRST PLUS-SIZE MODEL _ Ashley Graham is making history as the first plus-size model to appear in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, flaunting her killer frame in a tiny black string bikini designed by swimsuitsforall, an online swimsuit retailer for curvy women. The swimwear store has unveiled the new #CurvesinBikinis ad campaign in the pages of SI, marking the first time a plus-size model has celebrated her curves in the annual swimsuit issue, which was first published in 1964.

DISNEY OFFERS RYAN GOSLING “BEAUTY AND THE BEAST” _ Ryan Gosling is Disney’s top choice to star in Beauty and the Beast, and has been offered the role. The part that Gosling is being courted for is the Beast himself. The film will be a live-action remake of the 1991 animated Disney classic. This version will also be a musical, likely keeping the original’s beloved musical numbers intact. Last week it was confirmed that Harry Potter star Emma Watson will star as Belle.

MIRA SORVINO JOINS CBS’ STALKER _ The detectives on CBS’ Stalker will soon get help from one Mighty woman. Academy Award winner Mira Sorvino has joined the procedural drama in a recurring role. Though she is best known for her award-winning work in the Woody Allen flick Mighty Aphrodite, Sorvino’s recent TV credits include BBC America’s Intruders, Falling Skies and Psych.

JOHNNY DEPP AND AMBER HEARD ARE MARRIED _ Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are hitched. The 51-year-old actor and the 28-year-old actress were married just a few days before they were expected to wed this weekend. They tied the knot at the actor’s home ahead of the planned celebration on the actor’s private island in the Bahamas. Depp and Heard first met on the set of their film The Rum Diary back in 2010.

BRIAN WILLIAMS RECANTS WAR STORY OF BEING IN HELICOPTER UNDER ATTACK _ NBC News anchor Brian Williams acknowledged that a story he’d been telling for years about being on a helicopter in Iraq in 2003 that was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade was false. Williams made his retraction to Stars and Stripes just days after again telling the tale on NBC News. It was after this latest event that members of the crew of the struck copter told Stars and Stripes that Williams was not among the passengers. The copter Williams and other NBC News staffers were on was trailing the hit copter and not fired on. Williams told Stars and Stripes: “I would not have chosen to make this mistake. I don’t know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another.” On a Facebook post, Williams apologized to the crew of the copter that was hit, saying he feels terrible about the mistake.

DOCTORS SAY THERE IS LITTLE THEY CAN DO FOR BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN _ Things aren’t looking good for Bobbi Kristina Brown. A source close to the family said Wednesday: “It’s now a matter of when the family wants to let go and accept that she’s pretty much not going to make it.” Th source added that doctors have expressed that there is little they can do. Earlier this week, reports emerged that the situation involving the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown was particularly weak and her brain function was “alarming low” after being placed in a medically-induced coma.

BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN: POLICE REPORTEDLY INVESTIGATING POSSIBILITY OF ‘EYEWITNESSES’ _ Bobbi Kristina Brown’s alleged “drowning” incident has been met with a number of questions that remain unanswered, which is why police have decided to investigate the situation further. Now there are reports of new developments in the case. Detectives with the Roswell Police Department in Georgia are reportedly trying to determine whether there were more people at the scene of the accident than most initially assumed. Although Bobbi Kristina’s boyfriend Nick Gordon and his friend Max Lomas were present when paramedics arrived, detectives are investigating whether or not there was anyone else at the home that may have fled prior to the 911 call.

… Surveillance footage was requested from a local bank branch that sits approximately 100 yards from Bobbi Kristina’s town home.

SNOOP DOGG’S SON SIGNS WITH UCLA _ Snoop Dogg’s son Cordell Broadus committed to the UCLA Bruins Wednesday, causing his father to switch loyalty from the USC Trojans. Broadus had a highly visible recruitment due to his father’s fame but has been sought out by several schools for his great talent on the field. He picked UCLA from his top four choices which included Arizona State, LSU and USC — his father’s favorite. He also received offers from Florida State, Notre Dame, Baylor, Nebraska and Miami.

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AUDIO

Audio Archives

HOW DID YOU PICK YOUR CHILD’S NAME?

Superstar singer Carrie Underwood is having a baby (in April) and says she and husband Mike Fisher can’t agree on a name. Share the story of how you got your name, or how you named your child, then open the phones. Here are two calls to help. » download

SNOW CLIPS

Here’s an updated package of snow-related clips. » download

STRANGE THINGS YOU’VE SEEN WHILE DRIVING!

I saw a guy reading a book on the highway yesterday. What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen someone do while driving? Here are four calls to help with the phones. » download  Visit the Pro Audio page and click the Phone Starters Archive link for another batch of calls on this topic.

PREGNANCY INSULTS

“One of our co-workers is pregnant and shared with us after the show yesterday that some guy at (local store) asked her, “Are you having twins?” Moms, how were you insulted during your pregnancy?” Here are three calls to help with the phones. » download

VALENTINE’S DAY CLIP PACKAGE

Here’s a huge, updated package of Valentine’s Day-related audio clips. » download

BIG PURCHASES ON A WHIM

What’s the biggest purchase you’ve made on a whim? Here are four calls to help with the phones or to drop into a promo. » download

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BITS & BREAKS

DOWNLOAD THIS APP!

Need to know if your perfect match on Craigslist is marriage material? There’s an app that can make that decision for you. Marriage Material launched Monday and its websites boasts that its creators spent “months working with dozens of relationship experts” to best analyze your marital fate.

The app provides two quizzes (extra quizzes cost 99 cents) that 1) determine where your partner falls on the “Lazy/Hot” scale and 2) calculates your compatibility after asking thought provoking questions like, “Does he treat you with love and respect?” and “Does he have an occupation you respect and leaves time for you?”

APP LINK

THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BE A BETTER COOK RIGHT NOW

Many of us like to cook, but we know we’re not chefs. The food site Epicurious.com came up with a pretty cool list of over 50 things amateur chefs can do to be a better cook.

Write in your cookbooks. Soup could have used more tomato? Chicken needed ten more minutes in the oven? Make a note of it and you’ll never make that mistake again.

Replace your non-stick skillet. Do your scrambled eggs slide off the pan if you don’t use oil or butter? They should. Might be time for an upgrade.

Buy a new kitchen sponges. Existential question time. If your sponge is filthy and smells, how can you expect it get your dishes clean?

Find the biggest mixing bowl you can and buy it. You cannot toss a salad or mix cookies or make meatballs in a tiny cereal bowl. All you can do is make a bigger mess.

Put a damp paper or kitchen towel under your cutting board. That way, your board won’t slip around as you chop.

Switch to metal measuring cups and spoons. Plastic warps over time, making them less precise.

More here.

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FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: Name the organization formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons. (AARP. It dropped the long form of its name in the 1990s since most of its members were not actually retired.)

QUIZ: CLASSIC COMMERCIAL SLOGANS

• “Have it your way.” (Burger King)

• “Be all that you can be.” (Army)

• “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh, what a relief it is.” (Alka Seltzer)

• “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” (Alka Seltzer)

• “They’re Grrrrr-eat!” (Kellog’s Frosted Flakes)

• “Where’s the beef?” (Wendy’s)

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JOKE OF THE DAY

On their way home from work, a trio of hardworking men from a Kentucky racing stable were sent to their death by an inattentive driver of a semi truck. As is customary, St. Peter greets them, checks his book, makes a few phone calls, checks the book again and finally admits to the three recently deceased gentlemen that they weren’t supposed to be there for another month. “So,” St. Peter tells them, “to make it up to you, I’m going to let you go back to earth and for a month, and you can be anyone or anything you want to be.” The men agree that this is quite a good deal, so St. Peter asks the first guy what he wants to become. The first guy says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle swooping through the Grand Canyon.” Poof! He was gone. The second says, “I’ve always wanted to be a great white shark prowling along the Great Barrier Reef.” Poof! He was gone. Finally, the third guy from the racing stable, seemingly embarrassed and looking down at his boots, admits, “Well, sir, I’ve always thought that the perfect life would be as a stud.” And — poof! — he was gone. A month later, St. Peter called Gabriel in and, after explaining their Heavenly error, asked Gabriel to round them up. Gabriel asked where he could find them. “Well,” said St. Peter, “one is an eagle in the Grand Canyon. Another is a shark along the Barrier Reef. The third is in a snow tire in (Minneapolis).”

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VIDEO OF THE DAY

Guy can open bottle of beer with his butt cheeks.

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IMAGE OF THE DAY

Dolphin trying to eat a Go Pro.

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LAST MINUTE ITEMS

• Fun with the Periodic Table.

• Discover the songs in your favorite TV show.

• What the world eats. (Click U.S. for a shocker.)

• A Navy SEAL Explains 8 Secrets To Grit And Resilience.

• Perpetual Pizza

• Two idea-packed books for sales, promotions and stunts in 2015. Here’s one, here’s the other.

• Before you post to your station or show blog, run it through ProWritingAid.

• Rediscover your musical past.

• What’s your gadget worth?

• Which cities sleep in, which get to work early.

• Work cheat: Look like your using Outlook when you’re on reddit.

• I noticed this tiny thing on Google Maps.

• Nobody is using Google+.

• What the vinyl “comeback” really looks like.

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