PRO March 10, 2015

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Audio Bits & Breaks  Datebook Datebook Tomorrow Entertainment Fun & Games Image of the Day Joke of the Day! Last Minute Items News & Nuggets News Attack Number for the Day Television Video of the Day Wacky-But-True 


DATEBOOK: MARCH 10, 2015

This is day 69 of 2015. There are 296 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Dean Torrence of Jan and Dean is 75

• Chuck Norris is 75

• Barbara Corcoran (Shark Tank) is 66

• Shannon Tweed (Gene Simmons: Family Jewels, Falcon Crest) is 58

• Sharon Stone is 57

• Magician Lance Burton is 55

• Sportscaster Pam Oliver is 54

• Jasmine Guy (A Different World) is 53

• Music producer Rick Rubin is 52

• Prince Edward (youngest child of Queen Elizabeth II) is 51

• Jon Hamm (Mad Men) is 44

• Rapper-producer Timbaland is 43

• Singer Robin Thicke is 38

• Singer-actress Carrie Underwood is 32

• Olivia Wilde is 31

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1902: A United States court of appeals ruled that Thomas Edison did not invent the movie camera.

• 1918: Warner Bros. released its first major film, My Four Years in Germany.

• 1922: Mahatma Gandhi was arrested in India, tried for sedition, and sentenced to six years in prison, although he was released after two years of the sentence after an operation for appendicitis.

• 1969: In Memphis, Tennessee, James Earl Ray pleaded guilty to assassinating Martin Luther King Jr. He would later retract his guilty plea.

• 1980: Willard Scott debuted as the new weatherman on NBC-TV’s Today Show.

• 1988: Singer Andy Gibb died of heart inflammation at age 30.

• 1991: Easy rider Peter Fonda led 5,000 motorcyclists through Daytona Beach, Florida, to celebrate Bike Week.

• 1991: A Vincent van Gogh painting, Still Life with Flowers, sold for $1.43-million in Chicago. It had hung for 36 years in the living room of a suburban Milwaukee couple who thought it was a copy.

• 1996: The International Museum of Cartoon Art opened in Boca Raton, Florida, housing 160-thousand cartoons by more than 1,000 artists. Peanuts creator Charles Schulz, who donated a million dollars to the museum, was on hand for the dedication.

• 2002: Ravindra Nath Halder of Calcutta, India, got a call to come in for an interview for a government job he had applied for 34 years earlier. The 52-year-old grandfather said he was too old for the state job, but he’s glad to know his application was finally considered.

• 2007: In Germany, a man and his wife were getting a divorce, but were having trouble deciding who would get the summer house. So the man measured the home and then chainsawed it right down the middle. Then the man used a forklift to pick up his half and drove it away.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• International Bagpipe Day

International Day of Awesomeness (visit Audio section for related song)

• Organize Your Home Office Day

• Salvation Army Day

• Middle Name Pride Day

• Ranch Dressing Day

• Mario Day, in recognition of everyone’s favorite pizza-loving Nintendo character.

UPCOMING

• March 15: College Basketball March Madness Selection (Sunday)

• March 17-April 6: March Madness

• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day (Tuesday)

• March 20: Spring begins (Friday, 6:45p ET)

• April 1: April Fool’s Day (Wednesday)

More holidays

Top


NUMBER FOR THE DAY

1: Percent increase in residential electricity use because of Daylight Saving Time. (Source: State of Indiana)

Top


NEWS ATTACK!

Students at a private high school in Albuquerque have voted to have a Communism themed prom. [At midnight they’ll leave their prom, roll into a nearby town, and take over that school’s prom.]

Students at a private high school in Albuquerque have voted to have a Communism themed prom.[Because nothing says communism quite like a rented limousine. ]

A report reveals that Brian Williams had a meeting with the head of CBS about succeeding David Letterman. [He had a great idea for something he called Stupid Human Memory Tricks.]

China is upset with the Dalai Lama for saying that he is the last of the Dalai Lamas, and that there will be no reincarnation. [Some people just can’t accept the fact that not everyone wants to make sequels.]

Florida’s politicians stopped state employees from using any terminology related to climate change. [Instead of mentioning the dangerous rise in sea levels they had to talk about the convenience of deep sea fishing from the comfort of your back porch.]

A new report says that farmers markets aren’t that great of a deal. [Unless you happen to go on a day when both the vegetables and the hippies have been washed.]

A North Korean diplomat was caught at the Bangledash airport trying to smuggle $1.4 million in gold out of the country. [He would have gotten away with it if he hadn’t had so much trouble keeping his pants up.]

On Monday Apple debuted the Apple Watch. [Not only is it an advanced computer on your wrist but it also doubles as a chick repellant.]

A Cathay Pacific airline pilot is in trouble for letting a good looking female passenger ride in the cockpit. [Officials are demanding a full investigation just as soon as his wife finishes with him.]

Top


NEWS & NUGGETS

THE MOST EXPENSIVE APPLE WATCHES COST $17,000 _ Apple unveiled the Apple Watch on Monday, and while the basic watch starts at $349, the highest tier of technological wrist jewelry will be as much as a new car. The Apple Watch Edition will start at $10,000. The 18-karat gold smartwatch will have the same features as all the other Apple Watch devices, but will run you up to $17,000 for the tech company’s super swag.

.. Apple Watch Edition comes in both 38 mm and 42 mm sizes, and features a variety of different bands. It appears that the only real differences between the $10,000 and $17,000 watches are the band and size differences.

AVERAGE MEAT EATER WILL EAT OVER 7,000 ANIMALS _ A new study has discovered just how much meat the average carnivore consumes  in a lifetime. Calculated by a group called The Vegetarian Calculator — which is “urging people to eat less meat to reduce their impact on the environment — the study has discovered that meat-eaters (in Britain) who live to 80 eat over 7,000 animals in their lifetime. It breaks down to:

  • 11 cows
  • 27 pigs
  • 80 turkeys
  • 27 pigs
  • 2,400 chickens

… Rabbits, ducks, geese, goats, prawns, squid and other small animals are included then the total rises closer to 7,500.

FACEBOOK’S ‘FAT’ EMOJI SPARKS ANGRY MOVEMENT _ Think emoji are innocuous little icons? Then check out the movement spawned by Facebook’s “feeling fat” emoji — a smiling face with a double chin on the site’s list of available status-update options. The group Endangered Bodies has launched a campaign to get the option removed, and as the Washington Post notes, several activists have joined by posting change.org petitions. Some say the “fat” emoji is making fun of people who consider themselves to be overweight.

PARAMEDIC FIRED AFTER FLIPPING OFF PATIENTS FOR INSTAGRAM _ A Russian paramedic found out the hard way last week that social media and saving lives don’t mix — at least not when your main priority is taking selfies flipping off your patients. The 25-year-old (Tatiana Kulikova) deleted her Instagram account after photos she posted while on duty sparked outrage and resulted in her firing. She posted numerous photos taken inside an ambulance, revealing the faces of her patients but taking obscene selfies with them. Some of the patients later died. She reportedly hashtagged and captioned some of the photos to describe her patients as “drunk” and “another moron.” At one point she also wrote, “I hate my job.” She didn’t keep it very long.

PEOPLE LEFT SHOCKED BY BIZARRE SQUARE CLOUD _ Homeowners in Exeter, Devon, England, wasted no time snapping photographs for Facebook and excitedly posting on Twitter about the flying carpet shaped cloud hanging over the city. Some people were freaked by the cloud but a government official reassured residents that it was just an oddly-shaped contrail — a man-made cloud formed by the water vapor blasted from a plane’s jet engine as it moves through the air. | IMAGE

VATICAN RECEIVES RANSOM DEMAND FOR STOLEN LETTERS _ The Vatican has received a ransom demand for the return of two rare documents written by Renaissance master Michelangelo that were stolen from its archives nearly 20 years ago. The theft of the two documents had not been made public before Sunday. The thief, described as a former Vatican employee, had asked for about $110,000 dollars. A nun who worked in the Vatican archives informed officials back in 1997 that the documents had gone missing. A Vatican spokesman did not say why the Vatican had not disclosed the theft before.

DADS LAUNCH #SMELFIE HASHTAG _ Parenting can get a little messy sometimes, so it’s natural to want to share your woes with other parents on social media. Comedian and dad Adam Hills posted a picture of himself changing his daughter’s soiled diaper on Friday, using the hashtag #smelfie. Almost immediately, Hills’ funny picture turned into a full-on Twitter movement. Within hours, Hills was sent other smelfies from other devoted dads who appreciated his message. | #SMELFIE

DOG LIES DOWN WHEN HE SMELLS CANCER _ Scientists seeking a quick and affordable way to detect thyroid cancer have trained a dog to smell it on people, with real good results. A German shepherd mix named Frankie detected thyroid cancer in urine samples with nearly 90% accuracy. Trained to turn away if he smelled cancer and lie down if he didn’t, Frankie got it right 30 out of 34 times. Dogs’ sense of smell is up to 100,000 times better than ours.

KIM JONG UN HONORS WOMEN BY GIVING THEM MAKEUP _ How does a dictator celebrate International Women’s Day? If you’re North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, you give makeup to women. That’s probably not the best way to send a message showing you support women’s equality, but after all, this is North Korea we’re talking about. And because Jong Un has never been one to miss a photo op, on Sunday he gave a series of speeches while instructing his commanding officers to pass out the makeup he brought as gifts.

WAITER GETS NEW SMILE _ Brian Maixner is a cheerful waiter who is well known to customers at the Doo-Dah Diner in Wichita, Kansas. But Brian’s long struggled with serious dental problems. He never could afford the dental work he needed. Then, in January, he got a surprise tip from a customer. One Saturday, he waited on Fred Boettcher, who’d had dental problems of his own as a child. Now a successful attorney, Boettcher offered to pay for Brian to get a new smile. He’d done the same for a few other people in the past. Last week Brian had his remaining bad teeth pulled by Boettcher’s dentist and was fitted with a new set of dentures. In about six to eight months, once the bone heals, the dentist will replace the dentures with dental implants — also a gift from Boettcher.

PI DAY IS COMING — GET READY FOR DISCOUNTED PIE _ For the first time in a century, Pi Day will include on the first five digits of Pi — 3/14/15. To celebrate the mathematical constant on March 14, many restaurants and bakeries are offering $3.14 specials on pies and pie-desserts.

… Some communities are holding Pi K runs, with the distance barely more than a 5K at 3.14 miles.

A DINNER DATE WITH A SUPERCOMPUTER _ IBM is using a supercomputer to ignite new ideas and inspire both professional chefs and DIY home cooks to push the boundaries of their current culinary capabilities. Chef Watson is being fed ingredients, recipes, and cooking information that is being examined, studied, parsed, and easily reassembled. Chef Watson studies recipes and breaks the ingredients down into individual components, understanding their chemical composition and determining what ingredients will work well together to afford a pleasant dining experience.

Top


WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ROBBERY SUSPECT’S PHONE NUMBER ON CRAIGSLIST _ The San Antonio Police Department says three people were arrested recently in connection with a vision store robbery. They says the main culprit in the armed robbery of the store was an employee. The two other people involved allegedly went into the store and demanded both cash and a bagful of eyeglasses. The employee who was in on the heist filled up the bag with eyeglasses from the display counter. After the incident went down the employee called police and provided his phone number to officers who came to investigate. The same number was used as contact information in a Craigslist ad selling eyeglasses.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: ‘NINJA COUNCIL’ SET UP TO BOOST JAPAN TOURISM _ Japan is hoping to boost tourism by using one of the most famous figures from its history — the ninja. A “ninja council” has been set up by mayors and governors from around the country. Officials are hoping that global interest in the mysterious figures will encourage people to visit Japan.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BOY DRIVES TESLA INTO CROWD AT AUTO SHOW _ A young boy at a Beijing auto show accidentally drove an electric car into a crowd. The child crawled into a white Tesla on exhibit when the vehicle started and suddenly lunged into a startled crowd. The electric car traveled about 20 feet before coming to a stop, but not before bumping into a red stroller containing a baby. The infant fell to the ground, and was immediately picked up by its mother. There were no serious injuries.

Top


ON TELEVISION

THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — Ellie Goulding, Meghan Trainor, Nick Jonas and Lionel Richie help the contestants prepare for the Battle Rounds in this new 2-hour edition.

NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — Robert Wagner returns in this new edition.

FRESH OFF THE BOAT (8p ET, ABC) — Albert Tsai (Trophy Wife) guest stars in this new episode.

HELL’S KITCHEN (8p ET, FOX) — New

THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — Repeat

REPEAT AFTER ME (8:30p ET, ABC) — New

NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (9p ET, CBS) — New

MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (9p ET, ABC) — New

NEW GIRL (9p ET, FOX) — New

SUPERNATURAL (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

RIZZOLI & ISLES (9p ET, TNT) — New

THE MINDY PROJECT (9:30p ET, FOX) — New

PERSON OF INTEREST (10p ET, CBS) — New

FOREVER (10p ET, ABC) — Repeat

CHICAGO FIRE (10p ET, NBC) — New

PERCEPTION (10p ET, TNT) — New

Top


ENTERTAINMENT

HELICOPTERS CRASH WHILE FILMING TV SHOW; AT LEAST 10 DEAD _ Ten people died Monday after two helicopters collided during the filming of a reality survival television show in Argentina. Those who died — eight French nationals and two Argentine nationals — were part of a Discovery Channel team taking part in an endurance and survival competition. There were no survivors.

JAMIE DORNAN ’50 SHADES’ SEQUEL PAYCHECK _ Despite rumors that Jamie Dornan would be dropping out of the sequel for Fifty Shades of Grey, it looks like he’s not only going to be back, but he’s also getting quite the pay raise. The 32-year-old reportedly made just over a hundred grand playing Christian Grey the first time around. But sources say Jamie will make $12 million for the second film.

… And what about Dakota Johnson? No word on what her paycheck will be but it should be 12-mil as well, right?

FOX NEWS MOST TRUSTED NETWORK _ Fox News has the most trusted network and cable news coverage in the United States, according to a new Quinnipiac University poll released Monday. But network TV is much less trustworthy than it was in the days of Walter Cronkite. In comparison rankings, 29 percent responded that they trust Fox News the most. CNN follows with 22 percent, CBS News and NBC News are at 10 percent, ABC News at 8 percent and MSNBC at 7 percent.

… Comparing today’s programming with the heyday of network news, only 7 percent of those surveyed think the information presented now is more trustworthy.

… In the survey, 42 percent think NBC should allow Brian Williams to anchor NBC Nightly News, while 35 percent think they should not give him another chance after his suspension.

LENA DUNHAM WON’T WED UNTIL ‘EVERYONE CAN’ MARRY _ Lena Dunham loves her man Jack Antonoff, but the two won’t be tying the knot until there’s marriage equality in all 50 states. The Girls creator talked marriage with Ellen DeGeneres on Monday and explained why she and the fun. guitarist are putting off walking down the aisle: “The idea of having a celebration that can’t be fully shared among all the people in my life and all the people that we love just doesn’t really feel like a celebration at all … until that’s something that everyone can join into … it’s just not something that we’re going to do.”

KRISTEN STEWART, BRUCE WILLIS, JESSE EISENBERG IN ALLEN FLICK _ Woody Allen’s newest project may be in its very early stages, but it already has a star-studded cast attached. Allen’s people say his upcoming film will star Kristen Stewart, Bruce Willis and Jesse Eisenberg. This will be the first Allen film for Stewart and Willis, and the second for Eisenberg, who starred in his 2012 comedy To Rome with Love.

CHANNING TATUM IN A GHOSTBUSTERS FILM _ In addition to the recently announced all-female version of Ghostbusters, Sony is assembling yet another dream team to work on a counterpart film set within the same universe. Ghost Corps, a new production company from Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman and star Dan Aykroyd, is teaming up with Channing Tatum, the directors of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and the writer of Iron Man 3 to develop a supernatural comedy set within the Ghostbusters universe. Tatum is being eyed to star in the film. (Cue the cash register SFX…) Reitman said the plan is to “expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films (SFX), TV shows (SFX), merchandise (SFX), all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment (SFX).”

PAM OLIVER RETURNING TO NFL SIDELINES _ After being replaced by Erin Andrews on the “A team” last season, Pam Oliver will return to the NFL sidelines for Fox Sports for two more years, starting in September. Oliver, who turned 54 today (Tuesday), was replaced on the field by Andrews last year and moved to the number two Fox team. The official announcement of Oliver’s demotion sparked public outcry last July and sent ripples through the sports world.

… After looking into opportunities at other outlets, she eventually negotiated a deal with Fox to do a “farewell tour” last season for the network, the huge success of which impressed her bosses — who then decided they wanted her back.

CHUCK NORRIS IS 75 TODAY _ Happy birthday Chuck Norris. He’s 75 today and badder than ever. Chuck Norris Facts.

SIMPSONS’ CO-CREATOR DIES AFTER LONG BATTLE WITH CANCER _ Sam Simon, the co-creator of The Simpsons, has died. Simon passed away Sunday at his L.A. home following a long battle with colon cancer. Sam previously announced he would be leaving his nearly $100 million fortune to his various charities. He was 59.

KELLY CLARKSON TO COLLABORATE WITH DEMI LOVATO _ Kelly Clarkson plans to collaborate with Demi Lovato on new music. Lovato once called Clarkson one of her “dream collabs” in April 2014 on Twitter. Clarkson recently admitted she was turned down for collaborations by a number of recording artists, and confessed she is starting to feel like she has “the plague.”

DAVID HASSELHOFF’S CALIFORNIA HOUSE FOR SALE _ David Hasselhoff has listed his five-bedroom six-bathroom Calabasas, California, mansion. It can be yours for just under $2.3 million.

STEVEN WEBER TO STAR IN CBS COMEDY ‘JOE TIME’ _ Wings alum Steven Weber has been cast as the title character in the CBS comedy pilot Joe Time. Weber will star as a family man who’s put aside his own desires so his loved ones can follow their own bliss — but he struggles with the fact that everyone around him is pursuing their dreams and enjoying their lives more than he is.

NEW JIMI HENDRIX TUNE DEBUTS ONLINE AFTER 50 YEARS _ A brand new tune by Jimi Hendrix, recorded prior to the founding of his solo career and never before made available to the public, has been released online ahead of a new collection of rare and unheard tracks by the legendary guitarist. The tune, Station Break, dates to a time before Jimi Hendrix was discovered by Animals bassist Chas Chandler. Station Break has been released ahead of a forthcoming compilation album, You Can’t Use My Name: Curtis Knight and the Squires (Featuring Jimi Hendrix), which will include 14 tracks recorded by Hendrix between 1965 and 1967

Top


AUDIO

Newest audio files are found here. Visit the Pro Audio page for thousands of archived audio cuts.

EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

March 10 is International Day of Awesomeness. Here’s the most famous Awesome song in the world, edited for your show with an intro, a donut, and an outro. » download

MARCH MADNESS DROPS

It’s nearly March Madness time. Here’s a package of March Madness drops. » download

FEARS AND PHOBIAS

What’s your strange fear or phobia? Here are eight calls to help launch your own local phoner and to use in show promos. » download

Top


BITS & BREAKS

NEW ON DVD TODAY

HOW MUCH CAN YOU SAVE BY CUTTING THE CABLE CORD?

Monday it was announced that HBO’s new streaming service will be made available exclusively through Apple TV, with a monthly cost of $15. (HBO and Amazon Prime also have an exclusive agreement for older series, though you cannot access Amazon Prime via an Apple TV box.)

Gothamist.com crunched some numbers to see if cutting the cord and going with streaming services would save us money.

THE ULTIMATE CORD CUTTER PACKAGE

• Netflix: $8/month – A constantly rotating selection of both movies and TV series, as well as quality original series.

• Hulu: $8/month – Watch most network TV shows the day after they air.

• Amazon Prime: $8/month – New releases, original series, and much of what Netflix offers. Bonus: You free Amazon shipping.

• Sling TV: $20/month – Currently this brings you ESPN, AMC, TBS, and a bunch of other channels not available elsewhere.

• HBO Now: $15/month

TOTAL: $59/month

OLD SCHOOL CABLE PACKAGE

Time-Waner’s Standard TV + HBO, Showtime, and a DVR will cost you around $75/month. However, many people who subscribe to cable services also have at least one streaming service.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE APPLE WATCH

You can put the Apple Watch on your wrist April 10. Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled the final details Monday.

Fitness – A big draw for the Apple Watch is its suite of health and activity trackers. The built-in Activity app shows you how many calories you’ve burned in a day, how much exercise you’ve gotten, and how much you’ve stood up. It offers goal-tracking for each. The device will also show you a weekly summary of your activity every Monday, and it will offer suggestions to improve your fitness in those reports. Its built-in heart sensor helps keep track of your exercise during workouts. It’s water-resistant (not waterproof), so you don’t have to worry about destroying it with all of your technology-enabled sweating.

The “Taptic Engine” Apple Watch will tap you on the wrist when you receive a notification. Any notification you get on your iPhone will be viewable on the Apple Watch. If you want walking directions, for example, it will tap you when it’s time to turn.

A Screen You Can Draw On – Texting is great and all, but Apple Watch owners will be able to communicate with one another by drawing on the device’s screen.

Instant Messages – When you get a text message on your iPhone, the Apple Watch will be able to display it on your wrist and offer you quick ways to respond based on “the context of your message,” like if someone is asking you to meet for coffee at 2 PM. Those responses can be along the lines of, “Leaving now,” or they could simply be an animated emoji. The Apple Watch also lets you see new email messages.

Phone Calls On Your Wrist – Apple Watch allows you to answer incoming calls and have a conversation straight from your wrist, using the device’s speaker and microphone.

Different Watch Faces – Mickey Mouse watches are classic, and now you can have a modern version on your wrist, thanks to Apple’s different watch faces.

CELEBRITIES WHO INSURED THEIR MOST BEAUTIFUL BODY PARTS

Has Taylor Swift really insured her long legs for $40 million? That’s the rumor. She’s preparing for her next tour, which kicks off in May, and let’s face it — her legs are part of her show.

Who else has insured body parts?

• Mariah Carey — Legs for $1 billion back in 2006

• Tina Turner — Legs for $3 million

• Jennifer Lopez — Her famous rear for $27 million

• Rihanna — Her legs for “only” $500,000

• Dolly Parton — Her trademark breasts for $300,000

• America Ferreira — Her teeth for $10 million, courtesy of Aquafresh

• Julia Roberts — Her smile for $30 million

• Heidi Klum — While trying to take out an insurance policy on her legs Lloyd’s of London insured one of her legs for $2.2. million, but would only value her other leg at $1.2 million because it features a small scar.

• David Beckham — His soccer-playing legs for $70 million

UNPAIRED WORDS

Wikipedia taught me about unpaired words.

An unpaired word is one that, according to the usual rules of the language, would appear to have a related word but does not. Like the word “disheveled,” which would seem to the opposite of “sheveled” — a word that doesn’t exist. Other unpaired words…

• dejected

• disdain

• dismayed

• disrupt

• incognito

• inept

• infernal

• insidious

• misgivings

• nonchalant

• noncommittal

• unbeknownst

• ruthless

• uncouth

MANLY HOBBIES — CHUCK NORRIS DOES THEM ALL DAILY

What’s Chuck Norris do for fun? He’s 75 today and we’re pretty sure he does all of these manliest hobbies every single day. These are the manliest hobbies, according to a survey, in no particular order.

• Playing the Guitar

• Woodworking

• Classic Car Restoration

• Chess

• Metalworking

• Marksmanship

• Camping/Backpacking

• Hunting

• Fishing

• Whittling/Wood Carving

• Model Building

• Leatherworking

• Bowling

• Archery

• Martial Arts

• Pipe Smoking

• Pool/Billiards

• Mountaineering

• Cooking

• Blacksmithing

• Flying

• Card Playing

• Paintball

• Beer Brewing

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s your man’s UN-manliest hobby?

Top


FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: Every U.S. President after Harry Truman has had one of these. (A college degree)

TRIVIA: Between ages 30 and 70, this body part might grow a half an inch. (Your nose. Your ears might also grow a quarter inch.)

Top


JOKE OF THE DAY

A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, “He wouldn’t let me have my half of the road!” After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, “That old lady says that you wouldn’t let her have her half of the road. Why not?” In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, “Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road — if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!”

Top


VIDEO OF THE DAY

Logo in the back seat. You think it was a staged stop at McDonald’s?

Top


IMAGE OF THE DAY

Apple’s new Watch.

Top


LAST MINUTE ITEMS

• Second Tomorrowland trailer.

• Click to add a point of gravity.

• Shotgun rules.

• Mix different sounds and create your perfect environment.

• Two idea-packed books for sales, promotions and stunts. Here’s one, here’s the other.

• Opt out of interest-based advertising.

• PleyWorld is the largest playground for LEGO fans.

• See what’s playing on the streaming services.

• For the burger lover: The Message is Medium Rare.

• Everything you ever wanted to know about your city.

• Find a good movie to watch.

• Of the billions who have lived on Earth, where do you rank?

• Amazing Flow motion tour of Dubai.

• Smart Jock: Get more reach with native

Facebook videos.

Top


DATEBOOK:

MARCH 11, 2015

This is day 70 of 2015. There are 295 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

•  Media exec Rupert Murdoch is 84

• News correspondent Sam Donaldson is 81

• Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is 79

• Singer Bobby McFerrin (Don’t Worry, Be Happy) is 65

• Alex Kingston (ER) is 52

• Wallace Langham (C.S.I.) is 50

• Lisa Loeb is 47

• Terrence Howard (Iron Man, Hustle & Flow, TV’s Empire) is 46

• Johnny Knoxville is 44

• Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte and of The Madden Brothers are 36

• Thora Birch (Ghost World, American Beauty) is 33

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1779: The Army Corps of Engineers for the United States was authorized by the Congress.

• 1845: British citizen Henry Jones invented self-raising flour.

• 1897: A meteorite entered the earth’s atmosphere and exploded over New Martinsville, West Virginia. The debris caused damage but no human injuries were reported.

• 1985: Mikhail Gorbachev became Soviet leader.

• 1993: Janet Reno was confirmed by the United States Senate and sworn-in the next day, becoming the first female Attorney General of the United States.

• 1997: Former Beatle Paul McCartney was knighted.

• 2002: Two columns of light soared skyward from ground zero in New York as a temporary memorial to the victims of the Sept. 11 attacks.

• 2004: Ten bombs exploded in quick succession across the commuter rail network in Madrid, Spain, killing 191 people and wounding more than 2,000 in an attack linked to al-Qaida.

• 2005: A 38-year-old truck driver in Japan was arrested for allegedly making more than 10,000 prank calls to telephone information. Instead of asking for telephone numbers, the man asked female operators incidental questions and asked them out on dates.

• 2011: An earthquake measuring 9.0 in magnitude struck 80 miles east of Sendai, Japan, triggering a tsunami killing thousands of people. This event also triggered the second largest nuclear accident in history, and one of only two events to be classified as a Level 7 on the International Nuclear Event Scale.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Johnny Appleseed Day

• World Plumbing Day

• Registered Dietitian Day

• No Smoking Day

• Worship of Tools Day. For guys who love their hammers, power drills and table saws.

• Eat Your Noodles Day

UPCOMING

• March 15: College Basketball March Madness Selection (Sunday)

• March 17-April 6: March Madness

• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day (Tuesday)

• March 20: Spring begins (Friday, 6:45p ET)

• April 1: April Fool’s Day (Wednesday)

More holidays

Top