PRO April 14, 2015

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AudioBits & Breaks • DatebookDatebook TomorrowEntertainmentFun & GamesImage of the DayJoke of the Day!Last Minute ItemsNews & NuggetsNews AttackNumber for the DayTelevisionVideo of the DayWacky-But-True


This is day 104 of 2015. There are 261 days remaining.


• Loretta Lynn is 83

• Julie Christie (Dr. Zhivago, Hamlet) is 75

• Former baseball player/coach Pete Rose is 74

• Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond) is 55

• Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club, The Dead Zone) is 47

• Adrien Brody (The Pianist, The Village, Predators) is 42

• Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cruel Intentions) is 38

• Graham Phillips (The Good Wife) is 22

• Abigail Breslin (Zombieland, Little Miss Sunshine) is 19


• 1828: Noah Webster copyrighted the first edition of his dictionary.

• 1846: The Donner Party of pioneers departed Springfield, Illinois, for California, on what will become a year-long journey of hardship, cannibalism, and survival.

• 1860: The first Pony Express rider reached Sacramento, California.

• 1865: U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theatre by John Wilkes Booth.

• 1894: Thomas Edison demonstrated the kinetoscope, a device for peep-show viewing using photographs that flip in sequence, a precursor to movies.

• 1912: The British passenger liner RMS Titanic hit an iceberg in the North Atlantic. It would sink the following morning and take with it 1,503 lives.

• 1927: The first Volvo car premiered, in Gothenburg, Sweden.

• 1956: Videotape was first demonstrated at a radio/TV convention in Chicago, Illinois.

• 1968: At the Academy Awards, a tie between Katharine Hepburn and Barbra Streisand resulted in the two sharing the Best Actress Oscar.

• 1981: The first operational space shuttle, Columbia, landed at Edwards Air Force Base, California after its first test flight.

• 1983: The first cordless telephone, capable of operating up to 600 feet from its base, was introduced (by Fidelity and British Telecom).

• 2006:  A homeless cat saved the life of a newborn baby abandoned in the middle of the night with temperatures near zero on the doorstep of a house in Cologne, Germany. Police said the cat meowed loudly until someone woke up and opened the door to see about the noise. Thanks to the cat, the baby boy suffered only mild hypothermia.


• Equal Pay Day

• International Moment of Laughter Day

• Be Kind To Lawyers Day

• National Dolphin Day

• National Library Workers Day

• National Library Day

• Look Up at the Sky Day

• Ex Spouse Day


• April 15: Tax Deadline Day

• May 10: Mother’s Day (Sunday)

• May 25: Memorial Day (Monday)

• June 21: Father’s Day (Sunday)

More holidays



200,000: Leap year babies in the U.S.



Marco Rubio announced that he’s running for president. [Well, that’s what this country is all about — exercising your God-given right to waste your money and time however you please.]

Experts say that in the next several months China will surpass the US as the world’s biggest global warming polluter. [Now Americans just have to get used to bragging about being number two at something.]

Authorities in San Diego had to round up a baby sea lion after it wandered away from the beach and into a local high school. [In gym class it aced the final semester swimming test, but didn’t do so well on the rope climb.]

Donald Trump went on Twitter to complain about T-Mobile’s coverage in NYC. [But if it’s Trump on the other end of the line, do you really want to hear anything he’s got to say?]

Richard Wyatt, the former star of the reality series American Guns, was arrested for theft. [He was taken into custody by a former star of the reality series Cops.]

In college baseball Minnesota State defeated Bemidji State 41-20. [It was the first and last time they try to increase attendance by offering winning ticket holders the chance to pitch.]

The NBA has dropped Coca-Cola as official sponsor in favor of Pepsi. [The era of the sugar-loaded soft drink is dead. Long live the new era of the sugar-loaded soft drink.]

In Berlin a 65-year-old woman with 13 children is now pregnant with quadruplets. [Well, that’s one way to get your own reality show.]

Wikileaks is complaining that the Hillary Clinton campaign stole its logo. [Professional thieves griping about being ripped off by a professional politician. Welcome to the big league boys.]

A study finds that pot-smoking students fail more courses. [Which explains that gray-headed kid in the ninth grade.]



HILLARY CLINTON GOT A CHICKEN BOWL AT CHIPOTLE _ Hillary Clinton’s first campaign stop is Iowa. Along the way, she stopped at a Chipotle in Maumee, Ohio. A still from security video of Hillary ordering at the counter landed on Twitter.

… The visit to Chipotle wasn’t planned, and the Chipotle eatery’s manager in Ohio said no one really noticed Hillary, in part because she was hiding behind sunglasses

… A source says she ordered a chicken bowl — plus guacamole, a chicken salad and fruit juice.

Did she wear her sunglasses because she was ashamed to be seen at a fast food restaurant? FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: Where are you embarrassed to say you eat?

COUPLE TIES KNOT IN MAHJONG-THEMED CEREMONY _ A couple in China decided to celebrate their love for each other recently with a lavish wedding themed around the game of chance that brought them together three years ago. A game of mahjong. During the ceremony the groom presenting his bride-to-be with a single oversized die. Guests were given red, green and white mahjong tiles. The couple met after a mutual friend invited them to play mahjong one night. She was inexperienced and slow, and while other players were telling her to hurry up, he helped her along. The groom says her personality showed up in how she played.

CHINESE TOURISTS STRANDED IN U.S. WITH $1M IN MED BILLS _ The family of a Chinese couple who racked up $1 million in medical bills after being hit by a car in the U.S. is appealing to China’s government for legal aid. The couple in their 30s had set off on a world cycling tour nine days earlier when they were struck while riding near Death Valley National Park, California on March 12. The couple was airlifted by helicopter to a nearby hospital.  after the driver called police. He was left in a coma for two weeks and now suffers from amnesia. She underwent three operations for her injuries. Their total medical bills to date have surpassed $1 million. The driver, who is unemployed, has auto insurance with coverage of up to only $30,000. Relatives who traveled to the U.S. after the accident said calls to a lawyer recommended by the Chinese consulate in Los Angeles went unanswered. Unable to pay the mounting bills, family members are now turning to China for help.

WISCONSIN STUDENTS’ RICE KRISPIES TREAT IS HUGE _ University of Wisconsin-Madison students said on Sunday that they have completed a Rice Krispies cereal treat weighing more than 5½ tons they hope will be entered into Guinness World Records. The current record holding Rice Krispies treat weighs a little over 5 tons. The dessert is being chopped up to raise money for Wisconsin charities.

WOODEN CHAIR FROM TITANIC TO GO UP FOR AUCTION _ A wooden deckchair from the doomed Titanic cruise ship is set to go under the hammer. The Nantucket recliner was on the first class deck of the ill-fated vessel when it sank in 1912 and is too delicate to sit on. But it’s still expected to fetch $115,000 at auction. It will go on sale April 18 in Wiltshire, England. The current English owner, who has not been named, has had the recliner for the last 15 years.

POLISH PRINCE CHALLENGES MAN TO 18TH CENTURY-STYLE DUEL _ A Polish prince has challenged UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage to a sword fight, claiming he has “had enough” of what he describes as “discrimination” against his countrymen and women. In a video message posted to YouTube, Yanek Zylinski accused Farage of blaming eastern European migrants for the country’s problems. Holding his father’s sword, Zylinksi told Farage “enough is enough” and challenged him to an 18th Century-style duel in London. Alternatively, he offered a “duel of words” if Farage’s sword was “a little bit rusty”.

GIRL RAISES $25,000 WITH INSPIRING LEMONADE STAND FUNDRAISER _ A Toronto girl’s lemonade-stand fundraiser to help find a cure for her brother’s neurological disability has inspired a U.S. family dealing with the same illness. Five-year-old Na’ama Uzan has raised approximately $25,000 to support a cure for Angelman Syndrome, a rare development and neurological disability. The girl’s older brother suffers from Angelman Syndrome. The disability makes it difficult for the seven-year-old to walk or speak, and he has frequent seizures.

… Uzan’s efforts has inspired others to also raise money to find a cure for the disability. Thousands of miles away in California, David Low and his partner have raised more than $20,000 after their son was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome six months ago.

INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION GETS AN ESPRESSO MACHINE _ NASA this week will be sending its first espresso making machine into space, letting astronauts onboard the International Space Station brew coffee, tea or other hot beverages for those long space days. Making espresso in space is no small feat, as heating the water to the right temperature — 208 Fahrenheit — and generating enough pressure to make the brew are critical in the brewing process. And then getting it into a “cup” — well that’s nearly impossible in gravity-free space.

… NASA, the Italian space agency ASI, aerospace firm Argotec, and coffee company Lavazza have come up with en experimental machine that will deliver the espresso into what basically amounts to a sippy pouch.

FLIGHT TURNS AROUND AFTER MAN DISCOVERED TRAPPED IN CARGO BAY _ An Alaska Air flight had to turn around and make an emergency landing at Seattle’s Sea-Tac Airport after an airport worker was found to be trapped in the cargo hold. Alaska Air flight Flight 448 to Los Angeles turned around after the pilot heard banging coming from inside the plane. The flight landed safely and officials found a ramp agent in the cargo hold. The worker was seen walking to an ambulance after being discovered.

103-YEAR-OLD RECEIVES HER HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA AFTER 87 YEARS _ It’s never too late to graduate. Marie Hunt of Spring Green, Wisconsin, who would’ve graduated in 1928, received her high school diploma 87 years later. The 103-year-old was given an honorary degree by River Valley High School at her assisted living center. Hunt completed middle school but was forced to drop out of high school when she was unable to find a way to commute to and from class. Hunt spent her high school years helping to raise her eight younger siblings instead. While Hunt has led a happy life, she always regretted never completing her high school education. So Hunt’s nurse worked with River Valley to help make the milestone a reality.

RESEARCHERS CAN FIND INTERNET TROLLS WITH MATH _ Researchers have found a way to automatically detect Internet trolls, users who antagonize other people online. The Cornell University researchers claim they have developed an algorithm that can identify trolls with 80 percent accuracy, opening up the possibility of auto-banning from comment threads and websites. They studied commenters on various websites and found that future banned users — nicknamed FBUs — showed a lower perceived standard of literacy and clarity than the median of the commenting community. As conversations became more inflamed, the standards of troll’s literacy and clarity continued to decline.



WACKY-BUT-TRUE: EXTRA MILES ADDED TO RACE BY ERROR _ A bunch of runners were brought to tears in Bournemouth, England on Sunday when an error caused the race to be extended by almost two miles. The Bournemouth Bay Run on Sunday was supposed to be a leisurely 10K, but because a race marshal was missing from a key turn, the runners ended up going for an extra 3K in the wrong direction — almost two miles more than they wanted to go. At least 300 of the 1,200 runners involved ran two miles more than they were intending to.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DAD TURNS TO PETITION TO NAME HIS SON _ What do couples do when they can’t decide on a baby name? They ask their friends for help. Only one couple in Queens, New York has taken this idea to ridiculous lengths by launching an online petition where strangers can vote for their baby’s name. Dad-to-be Nicholas Soukeras launched this online petition with the hopes of gaining 100,000 signatures in favor of naming his firstborn son Spyridon, after his father. But mom-to-be Kseniya thinks the name is too strange, and prefers naming the baby Michael in honor of her late father. So far, 240 individuals have signed the petition — which means the dad has a long ways to go before reaching the 100,000 threshold that will prompt his wife to take the name Spyridon seriously. But then again, given she’s due in August, that means the dad still has four months to gather more votes.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TOILET PAPER THIEF IN INDIA _ Authorities in India are hoping to find the person who robs businesses of their toilet paper. Over the last few months a dozen or so small businesses have been broken into after hours and robbed of their toilet tissue. The thief takes nothing else.



NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — New. Followed by new episodes of NCIS: New Orleans and Person of Interest.

THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — Live Top 12 eliminations. Mentor: Reba McEntire; Nick Jonas performs.


THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — New.




JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE: THE AVENGERS ASSEMBLED — Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner guest on this Kimmel primetime special. Clips from the movie will be shows and during the special episode, Kimmel will also split the cast up in a friendly game of Avengers Family Feud. This is a primetime rerun of Monday night’s Kimmel. (10p ET, ABC)

HOUSE HUNTERS (10p ET, HGTV) — New. Followed by a new HH International.



CHRIS HANSEN WANTS TO KICKSTARTER TO CATCH A PREDATOR _ Former To Catch a Predator host Chris Hansen is ready to catch some more child predators — but he says he wants some help from his fans. Hansen is launching a Kickstarter campaign on Wednesday with the hopes of raising $75,000 for an all-new series, called Hansen vs. Predator. Hansen says even though his original show went off the air in 2007, he constantly receives questions on social media about his next investigation.

… The controversial investigations by NBC’s Dateline used online sting operations to catch suspected child predators. Hansen would then confront the suspects on camera. If funded, the new show will contain many elements of the original, which ran from 2004 to 2007.

SOME SAY THE NEW TERMINATOR TRAILER SPOILED THE FILM’S SURPRISES _ If you’re planning to see the new Terminator: Genesys this summer, skip the new trailer that came out early Monday. Some are complaining it gives away a big plot twist. The trailer runs around 166 seconds, and the reveal at around the 90-second mark blows the lid off of a somewhat closely held twist. SPOILER: At least one of the primary villains in the film is in-fact John Connor, son of Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) and the leader of the futuristic resistance against the Skynet machines. • TRAILER

IRELAND BALDWIN ENTERS REHAB _ Ireland Baldwin has checked into rehab. According to Radar Online, the 19-year-old is getting help for substance abuse. The daughter of Alex Baldwin and Kim Bassinger is supposedly addicted to drugs and alcohol and has been “non-stop partying” for months. Her mother, Kim, took her to the Malibu facility over the weekend in hopes of getting her daughter the help that she needs. A source claims: “Ireland, accompanied by her mother Kim, did her intake at a center in Malibu on Thursday and checked in the following day. She came in kicking and screaming. Apparently Ireland did not think that she has a problem but she has been partying non-stop and her family is worried sick about her.”

… Interestingly enough, Ireland Baldwin opened up about entering rehab on Monday. She took to social media to clarify the rumors and to explain why she has decided to get help, denying the “partying” rumors. She says she’s in for “emotional trauma.”

PINK SHUTS DOWN INTERNET CRITICISM ABOUT HER WEIGHT _ Raise your glass to Pink. The singer flawlessly fired back on Twitter at Internet hate surrounding her supposed weight, claiming she is “perfectly fine” and her body is having “some much deserved time off.” The 35-year-old also tweeted out pictures of her alongside husband Carey Hart and daughter Willow, saying they loved the way she looks and made her happiest. • TWEET

MARIAH CAREY ACCUSED OF MASSIVE PHOTOSHOP ON NEW ALBUM COVER _ Mariah Carey excited fans Monday by announcing a new greatest hits package called #1 to Infinity. It will include all her alleged No. 1 hits plus some new songs. But the biggest news from Carey’s new album release is that people think the cover is completely fake.

… One critic wrote: “We’re actually supposed to believe THAT is Mariah?! Don’t get us wrong, we think Mariah looks fantastic. She just doesn’t look like that! She’s a mom-of-two who used to embrace her curves. So, what happened?!”

… Another critic said: “Mariah Carey is the new queen of Photoshop!” • IMAGE

TORI SPELLING NEEDS SKIN GRAFTS AFTER GRILLING HERSELF _ Tori Spelling tripped and fell onto a hibachi grill during an Easter outing to Japanese chain Benihana. The star of True Tori and sufferer of general misfortune is reportedly getting skin grafts this week to repair the damage. It was almost a perfect family meal for the Spelling-McDermotts, “aside from the Benihana burn,” Tori wrote on Instagram. The Daily Mail quotes an alleged eyewitness as saying the actress tripped and fell backward onto the grill as she was getting up to leave the restaurant with Dean and the kids.

OLIVIA MUNN TO PLAY PSYLOCKE IN X-MEN: APOCALYPSE _ A familiar face will be joining Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender in the upcoming X-Men: Apocalypse. Director Bryan Singer tweeted on Monday that Olivia Munn would be playing Psylocke, a superhero who fights with psychic powers, ninja skills and flashy purple swords she creates with her mind.

REESE WITHERSPOON LANDS IN HOSPITAL AFTER ON-SCREEN FIGHT SCENE _ Thanks to Sofia Vergara, Reese Witherspoon was sent to the emergency room after filming a fight scene for their new film, Hot Pursuit. The two actresses were guests on Monday’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show and laughed about the incident. The 39-year-old Witherspoon had to go into the hospital after she believed an appendix burst from a kick she suffered from 42-year-old Vergara. She had some internal bleeding and had to have it looked into. As it turned out, an ovary popped. Witherspoon said Vergara is “tough” and really goes for it when she’s in a scene.

PEOPLE LOVE FALLING ASLEEP TO ED SHEERAN _ This could be understood both as a compliment and as an insult, depending on how much you enjoy Ed Sheeran’s music. The British musician tops the list of songs that Spotify listeners are most likely to add to sleep-themed playlists. Spotify analyzed 2.8 million of these playlists, and found that Sheeran’s single Thinking Out Loud tops the list of most streamed sleep songs, both in the U.S. and globally.

… The list also features Sam Smith, the second most popular artist on sleep playlists, as well as songs featured on the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack.



Visit the Pro Audio page for thousands of archived audio cuts.


A package of morning/good morning clips for show intros, bumpers, etc. » click for download page


Tax deadline day is April 15. » click for download page




The Babadook

Big Eyes

The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

Little House on the Prairie: Season 5

What’s Happening: The Complete Series


President Abraham Lincoln was shot 150 years ago today.

It wasn’t until 1956 that the last living witness passed away.

Samuel J. Seymour was just 5 when he was in attendance at Ford’s Theatre the night of the assassination. Seymour was the last living witness to the event. He died in April, 1956 at the age of 96.


The film Jaws was released 40 years ago this summer (June 20, 1975).

• It was the first movie in history to do $100 million in ticket sales.

• Steven Spielberg was just 26 when he directed Jaws.

• None of the ocean shots were fake. Spielberg insisted they all be shot in the ocean instead of a tank.

• Three mechanical sharks were used in the movie, the largest of which required 13 people to operate.

• Charleton Heston was supposed to play Police Chief Brody. It instead went to Roy Scheider.

• Actress Susan Backlinie (bak-LEE-nee) was the first person attacked in the film.

• Jaws received mostly positive reviews upon release. Roger Ebert called it “a sensationally effective action picture, a scary thriller that works all the better because it’s populated with characters that have been developed into human beings.”

… Here’s the Jaws theme.



TRIVIA: Over the years, Texas authorities say people have reported this 191 times. (Bigfoot sightings)

TRIVIA: 130 million of these are made each year (Bicycles. That’s a worldwide number.)


I’ll give you a word, you tell me whether it’s a dictionary word or an imaginary word that I made up:

• Minacious (mi-NAY-shus) – Dictionary word. It means threatening or menacing.

• Epocinous (ee-POK-in-us) – Imaginary word.

• Grogram (GROG-ram) – Dictionary word. A kind of coarse stuff made of silk and mohair.

• Torfliginous (tor-FLIG-in-us) – Imaginary word.

• Decalcomania (dee-kal-KOH-main-ee-uh) – Dictionary word. A process in printing which permits the transfer of the ink.



One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of a psychologist. The doctor smiled; he hadn’t seen his old friend in ages. “Well, well! Long time no see, Sea! How are you doing?” “Swell,” replied the Sea saltily. “Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well,” the Sea swished sadly, “I’m getting tired of just going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and–” “I understand,” the psychologist interrupted, “but I fear there’s nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you’re just fit to be tide.”



Manhole blows up during TV interview.



Proof that there’s no bad place to take a nap.



• Hiking from Mexico to Canada: before and after.

• Where the bombs fell on London.

• Dashcams of live storm chasers.

• How to get free Dropbox space.

• There are 320 million people in the United States. How many have your name?

• Wear a poo emoji button-down shirt.

• Guys, we found your Pinterest page: The Man Cave Grill Master’s Grills

• How to remove a wasp infestation with a shop vac.

• This is sand.

• Orbital objects.

• Yarn dissection.

• Vine: Dog finds the perfect stick.



This is day 105 of 2015. There are 260 days remaining.


• Singer-guitarist Dave Edmunds is 72

• Emma Thompson (Best Actress Oscar and Golden Globe for Howards End) is 56

• Thomas F. Wilson (Biff Tannen in the Back to the Future trilogy) is 56

• Former Olympic swimmer Dara Torres is 48

• Danny Pino (Law & Order: SVU, Cold Case) is 41

• Luke Evans (The Hobbit) is 36

• Seth Rogen is 33

• Emma Watson (Hermione in the Harry Potter films) is 25

• Maisie Williams (Arya Stark in Game of Thrones) is 18


• 1852: The first screw-top bottles were patented in Paris, France.

• 1865: Abraham Lincoln died after being shot the previous evening by John Wilkes Booth. Andrew Johnson became the 17th President of the United States.

• 1892: The General Electric Company formed.

• 1912: After hitting an iceberg the previous day (just 2-1/2 hours earlier) the British passenger liner RMS Titanic sank in the North Atlantic.

• 1924: Rand McNally published its first road atlas.

• 1947: Jackie Robinson debuted for the Brooklyn Dodgers baseball team, breaking that sport’s color line.

• 1955: Ray Kroc opened his first franchise of McDonald’s restaurant in Des Plaines, Illinois.

• 1970: The Beer Can Collectors of America was incorporated. Headquartered in Fenton, Missouri, the group now includes over 100 active chapters.

• 1983: Flashdance, starring Jennifer Beals, opened in movie theaters throughout the U.S.

• 1983: Disneyland opened in Tokyo.

• 2000: Cal Ripken Jr. of the Baltimore Orioles became the 24th major league player to hit safely 3,000 times.

• 2001: After a truck trailer lost a wheel and crashed New South Wales, 24,000 bottles of beer sank into the Tweed River, near the town of Tweed Heads. Suddenly, local residents appeared in full scuba gear and started retrieving the beer until police warned they could be charged with theft.

• 2006: In Salt Lake City, Utah, police officers responding to a report of shots fired from a vehicle pulled up to talk to the suspects only to have them speed away. Well, perhaps speed isn’t the proper term. They goofballs tried to flee but couldn’t get their car above 35 mph. In their haste to get away, they had forgotten to release the parking brake.

• 2010: Volcanic ash from the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull in Iceland lead to the closure of airspace over most of Europe.

• 2013: Two bombs exploded near the finish line at the Boston Marathon, killing 3 people and injuring 264 others.


• McDonald’s Day. Like many of you, I celebrate this every day.

• Rubber Eraser Day

• National Bookmobile Day

• Banana Day. I’m guessing because doing our taxes drives us bananas.

• Titanic Remembrance Day

• Glazed Ham Day


• May 10: Mother’s Day (Sunday)

• May 25: Memorial Day (Monday)

• June 21: Father’s Day (Sunday)

More holidays