PRO August 7, 2015

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Bits & Breaks • Datebook • Datebook Tomorrow • Entertainment • Fun & Games • Image of the Day • Joke of the Day! • Last Minute Items • News & Nuggets • News Attack • Number for the Day • Television • Video of the Day • Wacky-But-True

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DATEBOOK: AUGUST 7, 2015

This is day 219 of 2015. There are 146 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Verna Bloom (Animal House) is 77

• Garrison Keillor is 73

• Wayne Knight (Seinfeld, Jurassic Park) is 60

• David Duchovny is 55

• Harold Perrineau (Lost, Oz) is 52

• Charlize Theron (Mad Max) is 39

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1782: George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart, a decoration to recognize merit in enlisted men and noncommissioned officers.

• 1959: The United States launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture of the Earth.

• 1997: Country superstar Garth Brooks played to 750,000 people in Central Park.

• 1997: Police in Lille, France, warned that the Garden Gnomes Liberation Front had made off with a dozen garden dwarfs in the past week. The 7-member group of night-time commandos, who idolized Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs, left notes vowing to “liberate” all Dwarfs from lawns, gardens, and flower beds. Earlier in the year the GGLF had liberated 30 gnomes in Normandy.

• 1990: President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard the oil-rich desert kingdom against a possible invasion by Iraq.

• 1999: Boston’s Wade Boggs became the first player to homer for his 3,000th hit.

• 2005: ABC anchorman Peter Jennings died at age 67.

• 2007: In Masterton, New Zealand, Darryl Clark got a hold of some stolen checks and decided to try to cash a few of them. He was successful, buying over $150 worth of liquor and pocketing $900 in cash before his little spending spree came to an end. Police caught up with him because, even though he knew the checks were stolen, he still wrote his name, address and phone number on the back of every one.

• 2007: Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants broke baseball great Hank Aaron’s record by hitting his 756th home run.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Twins Days (through the weekend)

• International Beer Day

• National Lighthouse Day

• Raspberries ‘n Cream Day.

UPCOMING

• September 7: Labor Day

• September 10: NFL season begins (Steelers at Patriots)

• More holidays

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DATEBOOK WEEKEND

SATURDAY, AUGUST 8

• Country singer Mel Tillis is 83. Dustin Hoffman is 78. Connie Stevens is 77. Phil Balsley of The Statler Brothers is 76. Larry Wilcox (CHiPS) is 68. Keith Carradine is 66. Country singer Jamie O’Hara is 65. Donny Most (Happy Days) is 62. The Edge of U2 is 54. Rikki Rockett of Poison is 54. Rapper Kool Moe Dee is 53. Scott Stapp of Creed is 42. Country singer Mark Wills is 42. J.C. Chasez of ‘N Sync is 39. Drew Lachey of 98 Degrees is 39.

• International Hangover Day. International Cat Day. Happiness Happens Day. Middle Child Day. National Bowling Day. Garage Sale Day. Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 9

• Sam Elliott is 71. Melanie Griffith is 58. Amanda Bearse (Married … With Children) is 57. Rapper Kurtis Blow is 56. Today co-host Hoda Kotb is 51. Gillian Anderson (The X-Files) is 47. Eric Bana is 47. Anna Kendrick is 30.

• National Veep Day (for all who served as Vice President). Book Lover’s Day.

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NUMBER FOR THE DAY

20 billion: Dollars earned from U.S. vending machines each year.

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NEWS ATTACK!

In a new poll Americans had a far more favorable view of Japanese than the Japanese have of Americans. They don’t think Americans work hard enough. [Is all this because they’re still ticked off that King Kong whipped Godzilla?]

Former President George W. Bush reported to the Dallas courthouse after being summoned for jury duty. However, he wasn’t chosen. [They went with Al Gore.]

Next week scientists will announce the public’s choice for the names of 32 planets. [So far the leading vote-getter is “Brad.”]

NASA is building robots that will find resources on Mars by serving as prospectors. [They’ve already completed one with a white beard and a limp that goes by the name of Ol’ Gus.]

Did you catch Jon Stewart’s final Daily Show? [Spoiler alert: The last 16 years all turned out to be a dream.]

Pope Francis has invited Oprah to the Vatican. [For Oprah a trip to the Vatican would be slumming.]

A pastor in Florida tackled a gunman who was attempting to rob his congregation during services. [First of all, never interrupt a pastor’s sermon. And second, never ever make the mistake of getting between a preacher and his collection plate.]

Feds say that El Chapo Guzman is most likely still in Mexico. [They found a tunnel underneath his favorite restaurant.]

Science is trying to get the word out to correct a misunderstanding: the ability to curl your tongue is not the indication of the presence of a dominant gene. [But it is a sign that you have way too much free time.]

There’s serious infighting among Donald Trump’s campaign staff. [So, apparently, they can’t stand themselves either.]

As part of a lawsuit federal authorities are looking into just how far back Lance Armstrong began using performance enhancing drugs. [For example, in kindergarten he strung together an impressive but highly suspicious string of musical chair victories.]

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NEWS & NUGGETS

DAD GETS TATTOO TO MATCH DAUGHTER’S COCHLEAR IMPLANT _ When Alistair Campbell’s 6-year-old daughter Charlotte received her second cochlear implant, he wanted to show his support. So the New Zealand father got a cochlear implant too. But dad’s is different — it’s a tattoo. Campbell says he chose the ink to show his daughter how much he loves her. He shaved his head for the procedure, but isn’t worried about losing his locks because, of course, “My hair will grow back.” In the meantime, Charlotte’s new implant is helping her hear more sound than she ever has before. • IMAGE

S’MORES CANDY CORN AND PUMPKIN SPICE PEEPS ARE REAL _ Autumn’s right around the corner, so it’s time for the season of strange foods. Like S’mores Candy Corn and Pumpkin Spice Peeps.

GIVE BABIES HEALTHY FOOD SO THEY WANT HEALTHY FOOD LATER _ New moms and dads — you’ll never believe how to get your future toddlers, middle-schoolers and teens to take more of an interest ins a range of fruits and vegetables. The secret: babies who regularly ate fruits and vegetables were more likely to eat them and less likely to be fussy eaters when they were nearly four years old. Australian researchers said: “The take-home message for parents is pretty simple: introduce your toddler to a range of healthy foods early … this means offering your child a variety of different fruits and vegetables.”

BMW DRIVERS WILL SOON HAVE TRAFFIC LIGHT TIMERS _ Should you be slowing down in that case that upcoming green light turns yellow? How long are you going to be stopped at the red light? These are questions all drivers ask but never really expect to get answers to — unless they’re driving a BMW. Last week the German carmaker announced integration of the EnLighten iOS app which uses GPS speed and location data to help drivers anticipate when a traffic signal is going to change. It promises to increase safety since drivers will be less likely to try and race through a stale green light, but also improve a vehicle’s fuel efficiency — and your patience while behind the wheel.

… The app’s interface shows the status of the next traffic light ahead of a vehicle, including a timer counting down to when it will next change, and an indication of whether or not they’ll make a green light traveling at their current speed.

… There’s a catch. Besides requiring your iPhone to be in the vehicle for the connected EnLighten app to work with your BMW, it also requires your city to have already set up a network of smart traffic signals. So right now it’s limited to Portland and Eugene, Oregon, Salt Lake City, Provo, and Ogden, Utah, Las Vegas, Nevada, and Arcadia and Walnut Creek, California.

HOW MUCH FREE FOOD DID TRUMP GET US LAST NIGHT? _ Food delivery startup Eat24 had a special debate night promotion: every time Donald Trump said “Mexico” we got a free taco. Tat is, every time he said “Mexico,” Eat24 posted a $5 coupon code to Twitter, enough to cover the cost of a taco, or any other food item under $5. The company said: “We believe in freedom of the belly, so it’s totally up to you.” • CHECK THEIR TWITTER

FAT KIDS DON’T KNOW THEY’RE FAT ANYMORE _ A new study (Georgia Southern University) has found there’s a growing lack of awareness among children and teens in the United States about their weight. Specifically, way more overweight adolescents are oblivious today to the fact that they ought to lose weight.

… Adolescents are 29% less likely to correctly perceive themselves as being overweight than they were almost 20 years ago. And the drop-off is the most pronounced among younger children — overweight 12-year-olds are almost 40% less likely to understand that they are overweight today.

LUNCH BOXES _ It’s about back to school time and some kids are shopping for lunchboxes. These days they’re usually made of plastic or a soft-sided material.

… According to the book Lunchbox: Inside And Out, the traditional metal lunchbox favored by working class stiffs dates back to the 1880s. But it wasn’t until 1902 that the first kid-oriented lunch pail hit the market: It was shaped like a picnic basket and featured pictures of children playing.

… The lunchbox industry really got big in 1950 when an inspired executive at the Aladdin company slapped decals of popular TV cowboy Hopalong Cassidy on old lunchboxes and sold 600,000 within a year.

… The most popular lunchbox of all time is the Disney School Bus, a domed metal box, which sold 6 million between 1961 and 1973.

HIGHER PAY MAY BOOST PRODUCTIVITY _ There’s a new study that reveals what might boost productivity. Care to guess what it is? If you said higher pay, you’re right. The study (Commerce Department) suggests companies should lift pay — if only to boost their own bottom lines. The study found that as payroll per employee rises, so does productivity per employee. This is particularly the case for lower-paid employees, where there is a stronger link between productivity and wages.

JOGGER TO PAY $300K FOR MAKING U-TURN IN FRONT OF CYCLIST _ A Virginia (Roanoke) jogger who abruptly turned around in front of a cyclist has been ordered to pay $300,000. A jury determined that 62-year-old jogger William Bundy was negligent in causing a June 2012 collision with cyclist Ann Shepherd. In Shepherd’s complaint, the cyclist says Bundy “turned around suddenly,” causing her to fall off her bike and suffer bleeding and bruising of the brain. Bundy says he heard no approaching warning and has high-frequency hearing loss. Shepherd said because of the head trauma, she does not remember whether she announced she was passing Bundy. She cited about $81,000 in medical bills and $7,600 in lost wages.

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WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MOTORIST BROUGHT SHEEP ALONG FOR MCDONALD’S RUN _ In North Yorkshire, England, a driver was pulled when an officer noticed two of the car’s tires were completely bald. After pulling behind the stopped car the officer soon discovered there was a sheep in the back of the car. The driver told police the sheep in the back of his car was just along for the ride to McDonald’s.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: POLICE SEIZE 213 DINOSAUR EGGS AT HOME _ Police in China seized 231 fossilized dinosaur eggs and a dinosaur skeleton at guy’s house. The eggs are around 79 million years old. The skeleton belonged to a Psittacosaurus, which lived between 100 and 123 million years ago.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LAMP POST DESTROYED BY URINE FALLS IN STREET _ Concerns about San Francisco’s decaying light poles were raised this week after one corroded by urine toppled onto a car. The three-story-tall lamp post snapped, almost crushing the driver. No one was injured. The San Francisco Public Utilities Commission said the lamp post, which was already old, was damaged by years of dog urine and weighed down by an oversized banner.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: B.O. GIVES AWAY ATTACKER _ In the country of Ghana, the body odor of a 20-year-old farmer gave him away when he attempted to sexually assault a woman in her sleep. The man slipped into the woman’s darkened bedroom and, when she noticed his smell wasn’t the same as her husband’s — he wasn’t home at the time — she screamed. The naked man fled the home, hid in some bushes, and was soon after captured by police.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN CLAIMS HE’S ‘TARZAN,’ TRIES TO ENTER MONKEY EXHIBIT _ A man was arrested after police say he tried to enter a monkey exhibit at California’s Santa Ana Zoo while claiming to be “Tarzan.” The 37-year-old man was shirtless and climbing trees near the zoo’s aviary.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN CHARGED AFTER GIVING A ‘WET WILLY’ TO A 4-YEAR-OLD _ In Connecticut (Shelton) police have charged a man who they said stuck his finger in a 4-year-old boy’s ear. Police said 34-year-old Michael Migani put his finger in his mouth and then stuck it in the ear of a 4-year-old, in the presence of the boy’s mother. This act is also commonly known as a “wet willy.”

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COLD ICE CREAM _ A woman in Romania made an official complaint to the government consumer protection authority because her ice cream was too cold. Officials there said they’d take her complaint into consideration but there wasn’t much they could do about it.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BULL INTERRUPTS MEDICAL PROCEDURE _ A bull escaped from a butcher’s knife and took refuge in a Bangladesh hospital emergency ward, interrupting medical procedures for nearly 45 minutes. The big white bull tore away from a butcher as it was about to be slaughtered on a busy city street, and charged up a ramp into the emergency ward. As patients, doctors and nurses screamed and ran in panic, guards chased the animal out of the building and into the hospital’s morgue. The frightened animal was then caught and returned to the butcher.

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ON TELEVISION

ELEMENTARY (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat

AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (8p ET, NBC) — A 2-hour repeat

SHARK TANK (8p ET, ABC) — Repeat

MASTERCHEF (8p ET, FOX) — Repeat

MASTERS OF ILLUSION (8p ET, CW) — New

COLD JUSTICE (8p ET, TNT) — In this new edition, the team returns to Fort Myers, Fla., to investigate the 22-year-old case of a woman who was shot in the head and dumped behind a community center.

WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? (8:30p ET, CW) — Repeat

HAWAII FIVE-O (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (9p ET, ABC) — Repeat

GOTHAM (9p ET, FOX) — Repeat

PENN AND TELLER: FOOL US (9p ET, CW) — Repeat

COLD JUSTICE: SEX CRIMES (9p ET, TNT) — New

BLUE BLOODS (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat

20/20 (10p ET, ABC) — Repeat

DATELINE (10p ET, NBC) — New

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ENTERTAINMENT

HARRISON FORD PLANE CRASH: NOT HIS FAULT _ Harrison Ford’s plane crash earlier this year was caused by a loose part and wasn’t the movie star’s fault. The National Transportation Safety Board released a report Thursday. Ford took off in his private small plane from Santa Monica Airport on March 5 and lost power, prompting him to attempt a return to the airport. Before he could land, the plane crashed in a golf course. During the investigation into the crash, Ford told investigators that he couldn’t remember the crash itself. He could only describe what happened up to the moment of the crash. Ford was seriously injured when the plane crashed, although there were no injuries to those on the ground at the PenMar Golf Course. The investigation “found that an improperly installed shoulder harness likely contributed to the severity of Ford’s injuries.”

JON STEWART: A LATE-NIGHT LEGEND, BUT NOT FOR EARNINGS _ Jon Stewart will go down in history as one of the top late-night personalities of all time in terms of length of tenure, sharpness of wit and general influence on society. But there’s one area where he doesn’t rank among the greats: the paycheck. Though Stewart has pulled in double-digit millions fairly regularly, Forbes says he’s never made more than $16 million in a given year.

… Some reports have suggested Stewart has been earning at least $25 million annually since extending his Daily Show contract two years ago, though sources have expressed skepticism over that claim.

… David Letterman in his last year made $35 million.

… Jay Leno’s late-night haul wasn’t quite as large as Letterman’s, but he still made at least $30 million in his last few years.

SHREK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYED BY CHRIS FARLEY ORIGINALLY _ Did you know Shrek was supposed to be played by Chris Farley? He had voiced 80-90% of it before he died and they called in Mike Myers to take over. Someone’s released an early working of the animated movie with Farley. • GOOD AUDIO

VINYL TRAILER RELEASED _ Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger’s music drama Vinyl has been inching its way toward screens for years, and now there’s a teaser trailer. HBO announced it was picking up the series last December, but Scorsese, Jagger, and Boardwalk Empire creator Terence Winter have been working on its pilot since at least 2011. The series focuses on the life and times of fictional label American Century Records and its founder, debaucherous kingpin Richie Finestra, played by Bobby Cannavale. • VIDEO

KATHERINE HEIGL WILL NOT RETURN ON GREY’S ANATOMY _ Katherine Heigl will not return on Grey’s Anatomy season 12. Series creator Shonda Rhimes confirmed she has no plans to revive Heigl’s character, Izzie Stevens. Rhimes said: “I’m done with that story. I’ve turned that idea over in my mind a thousand times and thought about how it would go. And I don’t think so.”

THE NFL WILL BE TAKING OVER THE EMMYS RED CARPET _ Sunday, September 20 will be a good night for television fans and football fans alike when Fox NFL Sunday sets out to air live from the 67th Emmy Awards red carpet. Half-time segments, wrap-ups and lead-ins will be shot live on the carpet outside the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles, while the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys face off just before the awards.

JUMANJI REMAKE COMING _ Sony’s going to remake Jumanji, a childhood classic for many millennials starring Robin Williams, who died one year ago this month.

… Also announced: A fifth Underworld, a sixth Resident Evil, and a big-screen Barbie movie.

EMPIRE SEASON 2 TRAILER _ Can Empire Entertainment make it without its fearless leader, Lucious Lyon (Terrence Howard)? That’s the question facing the rest of the Lyon family when Empire returns. In the new season-two trailer, released Thursday, Andre (Trai Byers) is determined to remove Lucious as CEO of the company, as is his mother, Cookie (Taraji P. Henson). • TRAILER

… And that’s not all. The new footage also features the formal debut of guest-stars Chris Rock and Marisa Tomei. Empire’s new season premieres September 23 on Fox.

ANGELINA JOLIE PITT AND BRAD PITT ARE A COUPLE IN CRISIS _ The first sneak peek of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s long-awaited on-screen reunion is here. The By the Sea trailer, released on Thursday, shows the power couple acting side by side for the first time in 10 years. They last shared the screen in 2005’s Mr. and Mrs. Smith. • TRAILER

… In the teaser for their new film, which Jolie also wrote and directed, the husband and wife team set a much more dramatic tone than in their first team-up as costars.

… Set in 1970s France, By the Sea tells the story of a struggling marriage between Vanessa (Jolie), a former dancer, and her writer husband, Roland (Pitt). It focuses on three couples, all at different stages in their lives. At its center are the questions of what happened to Roland [Pitt] and Vanessa [Jolie Pitt] and why they are in the place they are now.

… While the details of the plot are unknown, the trailer depicts scenes of marital strife, including physical altercations. By the Sea hits theaters November 13.

THE JENNIFER ANISTON-JUSTIN THEROUX WEDDING CAKE _ Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux tied the knot in a secret ceremony at their Bel Air, California, home on Wednesday. One of the details from the intimate ceremony was the couple’s playful wedding cake which was topped with a man and woman Muppet-like puppets portraying the bride and groom. In 2011, Aniston told People magazine about her love for the Muppets when asked about rumors that she’d secretly adopted a baby: “Not adopting. There’s no nursery. Those are the two smallest things that exist [she points to two Muppets on a chair in her living room], my Muppets. Those are my Muppets.”

JENNIFER ANISTON AND JUSTIN THEROUX: WHERE’S THE HONEYMOON? _ Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux finally tied the knot — for real. And where are they honeymooning? The newlyweds, married Wednesday, were spotted boarding a private plane. According to E! Online, Jen and Justin are in French Polynesia, particularly the islands of Ahe. According to a source, they’ve vacationed there before and really love it.

HOW MANY TIMES JENNIFER ANISTON SUPPOSEDLY GOT MARRIED ALREADY _ Ever since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt called it quits, her love life has been fodder for tabloids who just want “poor Jen” to get married and have children. Here’s a handy timeline of Aniston’s love life post-Pitt, including the many, many times tabloids have jumped the gun on reporting her marriage to Theroux.

• 2005-2006: Vince Vaughn — Aniston paired up with co-star Vince Vaughn after meeting on the set of The Break-Up.

• 2007: Paul Sculfor — Following her split from Vaughn, Aniston was linked to British model Paul Sculfor.

• 2008-2009: John Mayer — Aniston’s relationship and subsequent break-up with Mayer yielded that infamous Rolling Stone interview in which he compared breaking up with her to “burning the American flag.”

• 2011: Aniston begins dating Justin Theroux — Aniston first met Theroux on the set of Tropic Thunder in 2007, courtesy of their mutual friend, Ben Stiller — though it might not have been love at first sight. Aniston said later, “I thought he was very sweet and he was always very nice. But I remember thinking he was very dark. At first you think he could be like a serial killer, but he is actually the nicest person in the world.” The two appeared together in public for the first time at the MTV Movie Awards after-party in June of 2011.

• March 2012: Baby on the way? — Life & Style printed rumors the following year that the two were getting serious — like, marriage and babies serious.

• August 10, 2012: Engagement — After a year of dating, Theroux officially proposed to Aniston on his birthday. How could a girl say no?

• January 2013: Supposed elopement in Mexico — OK! stepped forth in January of 2013 to claim that Theroux and Aniston ran off to Mexico for a shotgun wedding.

• March 2013: “Married!” — One wedding wasn’t enough, presumably, because just two months later, OK! reported an “exclusive” that not only were they getting married (again), but Aniston was also going to take Theroux’s last name. She didn’t even take Brad Pitt’s when they were married.

• August 2014: “DUMPED” — But not so fast — Life & Style chimed in with break-up rumors in August of 2014, detailing just how “humiliating” it was for poor Jen to be dumped on her supposed wedding day.

• July 8, 2015: More marriage rumors.

• August 5, 2015: It’s official. Aniston and Theroux tied the knot. According to People, the wedding was a ceremony held in their Bel Air home in front of just over 70 guests.

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BITS & BREAKS

NEW IN THEATERS TODAY

FANTASTIC FOUR (PG-13)

Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.

• Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell
• Links: website • trailer • reviews

THE GIFT (R)

A young married couple’s lives are thrown into a harrowing tailspin when an acquaintance from the husband’s past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years.

• Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton
• Links: website • trailer • reviews

RICKI AND THE FLASH (PG-13)

A musician who gave up everything for her dream of rock-and-roll stardom returns home, looking to make things right with her family.

• Meryl Streep, Rick Springfield, Kevin Kline
• Links: website • trailer • reviews

SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE (PG)

When Shaun decides to take the day off and have some fun, he gets a little more action than he bargained for. A mix up with the Farmer, a caravan and a very steep hill lead them all to the Big City and it’s up to Shaun and the flock to return everyone safely to the green grass of home.

• Voice cast: Justin Fletcher
• Links: website • trailer • reviews

NEW ON DVD THIS WEEKEND

• The Divergent Series: Insurgent
• True Story
• Child 44
• Far From the Madding Crowd
• How to Get Away with Murder: Season 1
• Orphan Black: Season 3

OPENING NEXT WEEK

• Friday: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

• Friday: Underdogs

• Friday: Straight Outta Compton

DUMB PET HOTLINE CALLS

A pet hotline has released a list of some of the more unusual questions it’s received.

• “My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering… how many calories are in a mouse?”

• “I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?”

• “Is it normal for a dog to shed?”

• “How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband’s toothbrush?”

• “How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?”

• “Will chewing soda cans remove enamel from my puppy’s teeth?”

• “Where can I get a six-toed cat?”

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FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: The average American eats 19,000 calories worth of this each year. (Ice cream)

TRIVIA: What was ESPN’s first televised sporting event? (A slow-pitch softball game, the Milwaukee Schlitzes vs. the Kentucky Bourbons.)

MOVIE MYSTERY

Q: What movie is this? » download page

A: Anger Management

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JOKE OF THE DAY

A man walks into a coffee shop and is given a huge mug which he takes to his table. But when he tries to drink it, he finds that instead of coffee, the mug contains a pair of beige cotton trousers. So he goes to complain. The counter staff are not very helpful, so after arguing with them for some time, he eventually gets them to call the shop manager. The manager is pretty angry and tells the customer, “It’s exactly what you asked for!” “No it isn’t!” says the customer. “How can this possibly be what I ordered?” “It’s a cup o’ chinos,” says the manager.

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VIDEO OF THE DAY

Coco the French Bulldog puppy must be dreaming about ice cream cones.

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IMAGE OF THE DAY

Our candy machine has some sad snacks.

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LAST MINUTE ITEMS

• Random useful websites.

• Electric car can go virtually anywhere.

• Infamous Kirk vs. Gorn scene made funnier with squeaky rubber suit sound effects.

• Millennium Falcon snack tray.

• Why CGI sucks. Except it doesn’t.

• Search Google like it’s the ’80s.

• How many superhero films will be made before you die?

• Draw in peanut butter.

• The world’s strongest coffee.

• Time-lapse of severe weather and natural wonders.

• Your daily source of natural rain sounds.

• What speed do you read?

• Your radio station videos are too long.

• How big is space?

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