PRO December 3, 2015


AudioBits & BreaksDatebookDatebook TomorrowEntertainmentFun & GamesImage of the DayJoke of the Day!Last Minute ItemsNews & NuggetsNews AttackNumber for the DayTelevisionVideo of the DayWacky-But-True


This is day 337 of 2015. There are 28 days remaining.


• Ozzy Osbourne is 67

• Daryl Hannah is 55

• Julianne Moore is 55

• Brendan Fraser is 47

• Anna Chlumsky is 35

• Brian Bonsall (Andy Keaton on Family Ties) is 34

• Dascha Polanco (Orange is the New Black) is 33

• Singer-songwriter Andy Grammer is 32

• Amanda Seyfried is 30


• 1805: The Lewis and Clark Expedition marks its explorations from the Missouri River overland to the Columbia River on a pine tree.

• 1818: Illinois became the 21st U.S. state.

• 1917: After nearly 20 years of planning and construction, the Quebec Bridge opened to traffic.

• 1965:  Keith Richards was electrocuted and knocked unconscious during a Rolling Stones concert in Sacramento.

• 1979: In Cincinnati, Ohio, eleven fans were killed during a stampede for seats before a Who concert at Riverfront Coliseum.

• 1984: A methyl isocyanate leak from a Union Carbide pesticide plant in Bhopal, India, killed more than 3,800 people outright and injured hundreds of thousands of others — some 6,000 of whom would later die from their injuries — in one of the worst industrial disasters in history.

• 1990: ABC’s “Nightline” aired Madonna’s “Justify My Love” video a week after MTV had banned it.

• 1999: NASA lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander moments before the spacecraft enters the Martian atmosphere.

• 1999: Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the Atlantic Ocean alone. The trip from the Canary Islands to the French Caribbean island of Guadeloupe took 81 days.

• 2003: Driving mostly on fear and just three tires, a 62-year-old Milwaukee man traveled roughly 5 miles with a bullet in his abdomen after his car was shot. After arriving home and showing the wound to his wife, the man was taken by ambulance to an area hospital. The bullet was successfully removed.

• 2006: In New Zealand, a police-led initiative of spraying water on state highways to release the trapped spirits of those killed in vehicle crashes was declared a success. A special police convoy carrying Maori elders sprayed 2,600 gallons of river water on the highways in a bid to free the spirits of crash victims.

• 2012: Voyager 1 spacecraft, launched in 1977, reached the end of our solar system and entered interstellar space.


• International Day of Persons With Disabilities

National Christmas Tree Lighting


• December 4: A Very Murray Christmas debuts on Netflix

• December 6: Hanukkah begins

• December 7: Pearl Harbor Day

• December 21: Winter begins (11:48 PM ET)

• December 23: Festivus

• December 25: Christmas Day

• January 1: New Year’s Day

More holidays – Updated with 2016 holidays.



222: Weight, in pounds, of the average mall Santa.



A new study found that people lowered their risk of developing serious diseases such as diabetes and heart problems by eating 2 ounces or approximately 14 walnuts per day. [Let’s see — for me to consume 14 walnuts, how many chocolate sundaes would that take?]

Cuba is restricting the foreign travel of its doctors to prevent them from settling in the U.S. [Because the last thing that we need in this country is to have an endless stream of well-trained, competent medical practitioners.]

An entire South Dakota ghost town is for sale for $250,000. [Tumbleweeds sold separately.]

Venezuelan authorities are threatening to jail the executives of the local division of Heinz because its production line is too slow. [It’s ketchup. It can only go so fast.]

Researchers say that the latest evidence shows that there really is no such thing as a male brain and a female brain. Each of us is a mixture of the two. [Which explains why we enjoy both football and touchdown dances.]

There are now over a dozen states that are under warnings about the danger of an E. coli outbreak among celery. [It’s going to be so difficult to convince people to give up their favorite dessert.]

A study finds that sugar-free soft drinks are bad for your teeth. [Dentists strongly recommend only opening the cans with your hands.]

Jerry Seinfeld has signed to do a series of concerts at New York’s Beacon theater starting in January. He’ll do one show per month. [Which is pretty much the kind of work schedule I could seriously get behind.]

In Santa Fe thieves got away with over $1 million in jewelry while the staff of the jewelry store was distracted by a holiday lighting celebration. [Hey, wasn’t that the plot of one of those Charlie Brown specials?]

Jeb Bush indicated that his choice for his vice presidential running mate would be a woman. [Just when we thought we’d heard the last of Caitlyn Jenner.]



SIGN OF THE TIMES: THERE’S AN ACTIVE SHOOTER SURVIVAL VIDEO _ It’s hard to imagine the paralyzing terror of finding yourself in the middle of an active shooter scenario. What do you do? How do you get out alive? The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department produced a video called “Surviving an Active Shooter.” The video is so realistic it comes with a graphic content warning.” But an LA County Sheriff’s Department spokesman said affecting people’s emotions is “how people remember things.” | VIDEO

… With the help of Hollywood professionals, dozens of volunteers and a tiny budget, the team created a “how to” instructional video telling viewers what to do to survive.

… The video and more life-saving info is at

… EDITOR: This is good “side story” material. By Thursday morning everyone will have the major details of what happened in California. Your news could be punched up with this: “… and a major law enforcement department hopes to saves lives in active shooter situations. With the help of Hollywood professionals the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department produced a video called Surviving An Active Shooter. You can watch it at (YOUR BLOG).”

WALMART WORKER FIRED FOR TURNING IN $350 CASH _ Michael Walsh of Schenectady, New York, was a Walmart maintenance worker for 18 years. He was fired on November 6, a few days after he turned in $350 in cash he found in the parking lot. He was called into a manager’s office, interrogated and terminated for “gross misconduct.” His offense? He waited about 30 minutes before he turned in the money. Walsh said he found a $5 bill in the parking lot and immediately went inside and turned it over to a manager. When he went back outside — his job involved picking up garbage and collecting stray shopping carts — he found a small stack of bills, $20s and $10s, in the parking lot. It was not in an envelope and bore no identification. He completed his outside task and when he got a moment, he counted the cash: $350. He stuffed it in his pants pocket. He went back inside the store and was about to turn in the bundle when he heard a commotion. A woman was yelling at a manager, freaking out that she lost her money. Walsh says he got nervous, returned to his job but gave a manager the $350 in cash about 30 minutes after he found it. Two days later, a manager showed him a surveillance tape that was time-stamped and confirmed that roughly 30 minutes elapsed from the time a camera captured Walsh’s discovery of the cash and when he turned it in.

… The timing of his firing upset Walsh because he not only lost his job, he lost out on his 20 percent employee holiday discount and fell short of a coveted 10 percent lifetime discount card for 20-year employees. Walsh says he was “really looking forward to that lifetime discount card in two more years. They took that from me.”

COP PAYS THIEF’S TAB FOR STOLEN BIRTHDAY CAKE INGREDIENTS _ A New Hampshire police officer who responded to a shoplifting incident didn’t make an arrest but instead paid the thief’s tab. The officer responded to the call about stolen cake ingredients. After learning the woman’s identity he went to her home to recover the items. It was there that he found that the woman was a mother who wanted to bake her child a birthday cake. He says the mother’s actions weren’t right, but, “I’m not going to take away a kid’s birthday cake.” He went back to the store and bought the items. The woman wasn’t charged.

DEALERSHIP VANDALISM HAS POSITIVE OUTCOME _ A vandalism case that could have ended in a lawsuit instead became an opportunity to make a difference in a South Dakota (Sioux Falls) teenager’s life. In October, a car dealer asked for the public’s help in finding two boys who were caught on video jumping on several dealership vehicles. Soon after the video was posted online, the boys were identified. But then that the case took at unexpected turn. The investigating detective informed the dealership that the boys responsible were only 10 and 14 years old — and neither had been in trouble with the law before.

… Upon speaking with the parents of both boys, the dealership’s staff realized that neither family could afford to pay back the $25,000 in estimated damages caused by the vandalism. Rather than press charges against them, the dealership decided to go a different route. The 14-year-old boy and his mother were living in less-than-ideal conditions and lacked some basic resources. In fact, the teen was walking three miles to school and back every day because he did not have another way to get there. The staff decided to assist the boy and his mother, helping them to find a better place to live. They also helped the boy get a bus pass and bike to get to school. In return, the boy offered to assist at the dealership after school and on weekends, emptying trash bins and doing other chores. The dealership plans to assist the boy until he graduates from high school in hopes that he continues to make good choices.

MORE THAN HALF OF U.S. DOCTORS EXPERIENCE BURNOUT _ A new study (Mayo Clinic) says burnout among U.S. doctors is becoming more common and now affects more than half of practicing physicians. Overall, the researchers found that doctors are about twice as likely to experience burnout as the average U.S. worker.

STATE OFFICIALS UNSURE WHAT CAUSED TOWN’S CAT URINE SMELL _ Pennsylvania environmental officials can’t explain why residents of New Castle thought part of their town smelled like cat urine last year. A state Department of Environmental Protection report was inconclusive. The department says it’s likely that some kind of waste containing mesityl oxide mixed with some kind of sulfur compound to create the smell. But air samples and testing of substances at the city’s sewage treatment plant didn’t turn up a source of the substances. Mesityl oxide is used in paint removers, as a solvent and in insect repellents.

DRONE FALLS INTO CROWD, INJURES RUNNERS DURING ROAD RACE _ Police are investigating after a drone taking aerial video of a Thanksgiving Day road race in Massachusetts (Andover) crashed into a pack of runners, slightly injuring two. The drone clipped a tree branch shortly after the Feaster Five Thanksgiving Day Race began with nearly 10,000 runners. The pilot says he was operating it to capture “aerial perspectives of the starting line.” The pilot had the permission of race organizers and police.

STUDY SAYS ULTRAMARATHONERS HAVE TINIER BRAINS _ Many weird things can happen to the brain and body during an ultramarathon, including partial loss of vision and terrifying hallucinations, but this has to be the weirdest: A group of German scientists claim that ultramarathoners’ brains literally shrink over the course of the race.

… Researchers followed 44 runners in an ultra, using a “portable MRI scanner” to examine various parts of their bodies throughout the race, including their brains. As the days wore on their brain volume shrank, by 6 percent on average. Their brains returned to normal within six months of finishing the race.

MACS ARE THE MOST RELIABLE LAPTOPS _ A survey of 58,000 Consumer Reports subscribers shows that Apple has the most reliable laptops with only a 10 percent breakdown rate in the first three years. Samsung and Gateway are distant seconds at 16 percent, and the rest of the industry — including Acer, Lenovo, Toshiba, HP, Dell and Asus, at 18 and 19 percent.

FIRST GLITTER BEARDS, NOW GLITTER ARMPITS _ What can you do with armpit hair? Last week I told you that some guys are adding glitter to their beards. Now we have women sharing glittered armpits on Instagram. These are women with hairy pits. | PIC | PIC | PIC

DEER FLIPS INTO THE AIR AFTER HITTING POLICE CAR, RUNS AWAY _ It’s not unusual to see deer in Kentucky. It’s also not unusual for someone to hit a deer in Kentucky. However, it is a bit unusual for a deer to be hit, catapulted into the air, and then run off from the scene with no injuries — all caught on video. This is exactly what happened over the weekend while a Kenton County police officer was driving along. Dashcam footage shows a deer hitting the police cruiser and then performing a Triple Axel over the hood. The deer is then seen running off into the bushes without sustaining any apparent injuries. | VIDEO

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s your crazy deer crash story?

ALERT SWEDISH DOG SAVES COUPLE FROM HOUSE FIRE _ A Swedish dog has become something of a celebrity after her insistent bark saved a young couple from a fire that gutted the top floor of their home. The fire alarm failed to go off when the blaze broke out early Saturday morning. But Niva — a two-year-old Shetland Sheepdog — did everything she could to wake the couple up. Niva doesn’t normally live with the couple — they were just dog-sitting her for the night.



WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DANISH MAN RESCUED FROM POLAR BEAR ENCLOSURE _ A Danish man was rescued on Wednesday after he jumped into the polar bear enclosure at the Copenhagen Zoo. To scare the animal away zoo keepers fired rubber bullets. Police were still trying to determine how the man was able to get into the enclosure.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THIEF ENDS UP TRAPPED IN CRASHED PORSCHE _ A burglar in the UK (Gloucester) who filmed himself behind the wheel of a stolen Porsche has been jailed. Police says Jamie Lee Sharp stole the keys to a Porsche Boxster during a burglary with an accomplice. He then filmed himself driving and calling up friends to boast about his new car before crashing it, trapping himself in the process.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: OFFICER DRIVES MINIATURE DONKEY TO SAFETY _ A Norman, Oklahoma, police officer picked up an unusual subject found wandering along a rural road. Officer Kyle Canaan says it took a little pushing, pulling and some animal feed, but he got the miniature donkey nicknamed “Squishy” into the back of his patrol car and out of harm’s way. The officer said the animal fit perfectly in his vehicle. He even rolled the window down for it. The woman who found Squishy says if an owner doesn’t come forward, she plans to keep the donkey in a pen on her property.



THE WIZ LIVE! (8p ET, NBC) — NBC’s latest live, 3-hour musical, a retelling of The Wizard of Oz, won 7 Tony Awards, including Best Musical. Stars include Queen Latifah, Ne-Yo, David Allan Grier, Common, Mary J. Blige, and Cirque du Soleil.

NFL THURSDAY NIGHT KICKOFF (8p ET, CBS) — James Brown hosts along with analysts Deion Sanders and Bill Cowher.

TOY STORY THAT TIME FORGOT (8p ET, ABC) — While at a post-Christmas play date, some cool new action figures turn out to be delusional.

BONES (8p ET, FOX) — A 2-hour repeat


THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (8:30p ET, CBS) — Thursday Night Football returns to CBS with the Green Bay Packers in Detroit to face the Lions. Detroit pulled off an upset in Green Bay just three weeks ago, breaking a 24-game road losing streak against their rival.

SHREK THE HALLS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Shrek’s plans for a cozy family Christmas go awry when Donkey, Puss in Boots and the rest of the fairy-tale gang try to join in the fun.

CMA COUNTRY CHRISTMAS (9p ET, ABC) — Kelsea Ballerini, Dan & Shay, Mickey Guyton, Jewel, Charles Kelley, Martina McBride, David Nail, Pentatonix, LeAnn Rimes, and Darius Rucker perform in this 2-hour special, and Jennifer Nettles hosts.


TOP CHEF (10p ET, Bravo) — The 2-night premiere continues with guest judge Ludo Lefebvre.



OPRAH WINFREY REVEALS NAME OF LOST CHILD _ At her one-woman shows in Melbourne, Australia, this week, Oprah Winfrey for the first time says she has named her baby son who died shortly after his premature birth when she was just 14. Oprah told a mostly female crowd of 15,000, “I did an interview with a reporter before I came to Australia and she said, ‘You should name the baby son who died.’ So I have named him, I had a little boy named Kaynan. I did have a son. And I named him Kaynan because Kaynan means new land, new life.”

FIRST AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE VS. O.J. TRAILER _ American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson released a first trailer starring Sarah Paulson. The 40-year-old actress plays Marcia Clark, the real-life lead prosecutor on the O.J. Simpson murder case. The preview recounts the infamous trial and introduces Clark and the other personalities fighting for and against the accused killer. | VIDEO

… Cuba Gooding Jr. stars as O.J., with John Travolta as the retired NFL star’s defense lawyer Robert Shapiro, David Schwimmer as defense lawyer Robert Kardashian and Courtney B. Vance as defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran. Selma Blair also appears as Kardashian’s then-wife Kris Kardashian, with Connie Britton as her friend Faye Resnick, Nathan Lane as defense lawyer F. Lee Bailey, Jordana Brewster as Nicole Brown Simpson’s sister Denise Brown and Billy Magnussen as witness Kato Kaelin.

… The series will examine the trial, and is scheduled to premiere February 2 on FX.

50 SHADES OF POP _ San Francisco-based mashup master DJ Earworm has released an annual mix of the year’s top pop music since 2007, and for 2015, he’s gone all out with a mashup of over 50 top tracks. Entitled 50 Shades of Pop, the super mashup includes all the Billboard-busters like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Drake, and, yes, Adele. | LISTEN

SANDRA BULLOCK IS A MOM AGAIN _ Sandra Bullock is a proud mom — times two. The Oscar winner has adopted a daughter, 3½-year-old Laila (pronounced Lila), a little girl from Louisiana who had been in foster care. The process of expanding her family began three years ago.

THE DAILY SHOW SUDDENLY CANCELS CHRIS BROWN INTERVIEW _ The Daily Show made a last-minute scheduling change Tuesday night, replacing listed interviewee Chris Brown with Nick Cannon. The change came after a Daily Beast report on Monday that claimed the Daily Show staff was split on whether or not to have Brown on the show. The in-house split no doubt stemmed from the felony assault conviction Brown received six years ago against his then-girlfriend Rihanna. His image hasn’t improved much since, with violent outbursts despite a five-year probation sentence and six months community service.

… Trevor Noah had allegedly planned to use the interview with Brown to spotlight domestic abuse issues, which the young host has personal experience with. His ex-stepfather abused his mother and threatened to kill him when Noah was young.

ALL THE FORCE AWAKENS TRAILERS IN A 2-MINUTE VIDEO _ Anyone looking for a supercut of all the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailers, look no further. Fans can now watch the best moments from all the trailers. All your favorite moments are there: Supreme Leader Snoke’s haunting voice talking of an awakening of the Force, Han Solo revealing that all the stories of the Jedi are true, and of course, new droid BB-8. | VIDEO

MARIAH CAREY RUSHED TO HOSPITAL _ Mariah Carey was sent to a New York City hospital on Wednesday morning after falling severely ill. Sources say the singer is being treated with fluids and vitamins after suffering from considerable dehydration and other symptoms. The 45-year-old singer reportedly began feeling bad Tuesday evening.

JUSTIN THEROUX JOINS INSTAGRAM _ Justin Theroux has joined Instagram. The star of HBO’s The Leftovers posted his first snap and shared it to public on the social media on Wednesday. Theroux chose to put up a black and white selfie with mountain scenery as the background. He captioned the pic, “#on”. The image received more than a thousand likes within 6 hours. | LINK

PHIL HARTMAN BIOPIC IN WORKS _ Former Beverly Hills, 90210 star Jason Priestly is set to direct a biopic of Saturday Night Live veteran Phil Hartman.

AMY SCHUMER ON BARBARA WALTERS’ MOST FASCINATING LIST _ Barbara Walters has started releasing the names of the people who will make up her annual list of Most Fascinating People. Comedienne Amy Schumer continues her gangbuster year by making her way onto the list. She’s joined by SNL alum Tracy Morgan, Ronda Rousey, dancer Misty Copeland, Bradley Cooper, Bernie Sanders, and fashion designer Donna Karan. More names are coming and the most fascinating person will be revealed December 17.

TOY STORY 4 IS UNDERWAY _ We’re one step closer to seeing Toy Story 4 being brought to life. Tom Hanks head back into Pixar Wednesday to lend voice to his iconic character from the franchise, Woody, so production can begin for the highly anticipated installment.

A STOLEN NETFLIX ACCOUNT CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY 50 CENTS _ Digital moochers are using Netflix and HBO Go accounts that don’t belong to them without even having the decency to suck up to their family and friends to do so. Business Insider reports hackers are selling accounts to digital streaming services — everything from Netflix to Spotify to Marvel Unlimited — for mere cents on the Dark Web, that shady corner of the Internet only accessed with a special browser. Some Netflix accounts were being sold for as low as 50 cents, while accounts for premium cable or sports streaming services run up to $15.

ANNA DUGGAR COULD BE THINKING DIVORCE _ Ever since Josh Duggar went away to a rehab center to try to treat his sex addiction, many have been rooting for Anna Duggar to make her own decision regarding her marriage and to not feel pressured to stay with the father of her children because of other people. According to a new report, Anna is actually contemplating divorce from Jim Bob and Michelle’s eldest child. A source told In Touch that Anna has been stressed a lot recently because her four young children miss their dad, and she’s a full-time single parent now. Even though she’s getting help from the Duggars, she’s “still under a ton of pressure” and “contemplating divorce.” Meanwhile, Josh is interested in renewing their vows in front of both families once he’s rehabilitated. A source close to the family said, “He wants to have an elaborate ceremony as soon as he gets out of rehab and make it a really special occasion for Anna.”




• TOPICAL: Roger Ebert in 1983 defends Star Wars.

• CONTEST: Mystery Voice: Chelsea Handler

• DROPS: Big package of Friday-related clips.

• CONTEST: Mystery Voice: Taylor Swift

• NEWS: Ted Cruz does his Yoda and Darth Vader impersonations.

• APP: Audio from the Santa’s Watching iOS app. (12/1 issue)

• DROP: Seinfeld clip about Festivus. (12/1 issue)

• DROPS: Funny Christmas clips package — many clips!

• MUSIC BED: Rapid Fire

• REAL CALLER AUDIO: What are you thankful for – the frivolous edition.

• DROP: He’s a good person, he’s smart and witty and talented.

• JIMMY KIMMEL: JJ Abrams shares the first spoken word in The Force Awakens.

• CONTEST: Mystery Voice – John Malkovich




In his latest book, “The Sense of Style,” Harvard cognitive scientist and linguist Steven Pinker explores the most common words and phrases that people stumble over.

• Cliché is a noun and is not an adjective. Correct: “Shakespeare used a lot of clichés.” / The plot was so clichéd.

• Disinterested means unbiased and does not mean uninterested. Correct: “The dispute should be resolved by a disinterested judge.” / Why are you so uninterested in my story?

• Hone means to sharpen and does not mean to home in on or to converge upon. Correct: She honed her writing skills. / We’re homing in on a solution.

• New Age means spiritualistic, holistic and does not mean modern, futuristic. Correct: He is a fan of New Age mindfulness techniques. / That TV screen is made from a high-end modern glass.

• Parameter means a variable and does not mean a boundary condition, a limit. Correct: The forecast is based on parameters like inflation and interest rates. / We need to work within budgetary limits.

Full list.

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s your grammar pet peeve?


Week of November 23-29.

1. NFL Football: Chicago at Green Bay, NBC, 27.75 million

2. NFL Football: New England at Denver, NBC, 25.19 million

3. Sunday Night NFL Pre-Kick, NBC, 17.86 million

4. Thanksgiving Night NFL Pre-Kick, NBC, 17.38 million

5. NCIS, CBS, 16.19 million

6. 60 Minutes, CBS, 14.33 million

7. NFL Football: Buffalo at New England, ESPN, 14.26 million

8. The Walking Dead, AMC, 13.98 million

9. Dancing With the Stars (Tuesday), ABC, 13.49 million

10. Dancing With the Stars, ABC, 13.29 million

11. NFL Pregame Show, NBC, 12.85 million

12. Football Night in America, NBC, 12.65 million

13. The Big Bang Theory, CBS, 12.05 million

14. NCIS: New Orleans, CBS, 11.85 million

15. The Voice (Monday), NBC, 10.29 million

16. The Voice (Tuesday), NBC, 9.97 million

17. Madam Secretary, CBS, 9.96 million

18. Empire, Fox, 9.21 million

19. Scorpion, CBS, 8.95 million

20. Survivor, CBS, 8.2 million


What were the most Instagrammed locations in all 50 U.S. states in 2015? used data from the photo- and video-sharing network to find out. A map allows users to click on each state and see the location that was geotagged most on Instagram in 2015. Sports arenas make up a large part of the list:

• Alabama: Bryant-Denny Stadium

• Illinois: Wrigley Field

• Indiana: Lucas Oil Stadium

• Kansas: Kauffman Stadium

• Kentucky: Churchill Downs

• Maryland: Oriole Park at Camden Yards

• Massachusetts: Fenway Park

• Michigan: Comerica Park

• New Jersey: MetLife Stadium

• Oklahoma: BOK Center

• Pennsylvania: PNC Park

• Texas: AT&T Stadium

• Wisconsin: Miller Park

Find your state.



TRIVIA: The typical American will drink 27 gallons of what this year? (Coffee)


Question: Who is this?

Answer: Chelsea Handler



Harriet, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. She goes through a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, and then hears a knock at the door. It’s a delivery man. As she takes the deliver she says, “Before you go may I ask what age you think I am?” Looking over her carefully, the driver says, “Judging from your skin, 20.” She’s very pleased, but before she can say anything, he continues. “And judging by your hair, 18; and your figure, 25.” “Oh, you flatterer!” she gushes. “Hold on there, lady,” he says. “I haven’t added them up yet!”



Lions play laziest game of ball ever.



Freeze. Melt a bit. Freeze more.

Source: imgur



• Time to Elf Yourself again?

• Is it illegal to drive with a dog on my lap?

• Fruity toilet paper.

• Huge Rubik’s Cube. Good luck with that.

• 20 Common Phrases You’re Probably Using Incorrectly.

• This is a terrible (or genius) way to get rid of your fall leaves.

• Tom Harman recently rode an Amtrak train from NYC to San Francisco, taking little videos of the scenery outside all the while.

• For the waffle-loving computer geek.

• Take a break with Wonderputt.

• In 2007, a cruise ship called the Balmoral was brought into the dry docks to be extended.

• Museum of Endangered Sounds. (Play a contest where people have to guess the endangered sound.)

Here Is Today. (Click ‘okay’.)



This is day 338 of 2015. There are 27 days remaining.


• Game-show host Wink Martindale is 82

• Max Baer Jr. (The Beverly Hillbillies) is 78

• Jeff Bridges is 66

• Patricia Wettig is 64

• Chelsea Noble (Growing Pains) is 51

• Marisa Tomei is 51

• Fred Armisen is 49

• Jay-Z is 46

• Tyra Banks is 42


• 1791: The first issue of The Observer, the world’s first Sunday newspaper, was published.

• 1881: The Los Angeles Times was first published.

• 1918: President Woodrow Wilson sailed for the World War I peace talks in Versailles, becoming the first US president to travel to Europe while in office.

• 1956: During a Carl Perkins recording session also involving Jerry Lee Lewis and Johnny Cash at Sun Records in Memphis, Tennessee, Elvis Presley visited the studio and jammed with Perkins and Lewis extensively with the tape recorders rolling. (Cash reportedly participated briefly in the jam before leaving the studio with his wife and daughter.) The four men become known as the Million Dollar Quartet, and the complete tape from the legendary session was eventually released on compact disc in 1987.

• 1959: A monkey returned to Earth safely, after being launched 55 miles high into outer space by the United States space program.

• 1969: Surfer Greg Noll rode a 65-foot high wave off the North Shore of Oahu, the highest ocean surfing ever recorded.

• 1978: Following the murder of Mayor George Moscone, Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco’s first woman mayor. She served until January 8, 1988.

• 1980: The rock group Led Zeppelin formally announces its breakup.

• 1997: The National Basketball Association suspended Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo.

• 2003: A Dutch teenager who tried to rob taxi driver was arrested after the cabbie took charge. Though the 17-year-old had a knife, without hesitating the 41-year-old cabbie got out of the car, pulled his passenger from the back seat and threw him into the trunk. He then drove straight to the police station.

• 2004: A man in India drove 375 miles without using his hands in an attempt to get into the record books. It took him 15 hours to drive the distance with his hands tied to the driver’s seat and the wheel, brakes and clutch controlled by his legs only.

• 2011: In Koblenz, Germany, 45,000 citizens waited to return home after bomb squads diffused World War II bombs that were hidden under the Rhine River for nearly 65 years.


• Cookie Day

• Dice Day

• National Salesperson Day

• World Wildlife Conservation Day

• Wear Brown Shoes Day


• December 4: A Very Murray Christmas debuts on Netflix

• December 6: Hanukkah begins

• December 7: Pearl Harbor Day

• December 21: Winter begins (11:48 PM ET)

• December 23: Festivus

• December 25: Christmas Day

• January 1: New Year’s Day

More holidays – Updated with 2016 holidays.




• Singer Little Richard is 83. Jim Messina (Loggins and Messina, Poco) is 68. Brian Backer (Mark “Rat” Ratner in Fast Times at Ridgemont High) is 59. Country singer Tyler England is 52. Country singer Gary Allan is 48. Margaret Cho is 47. Paula Patton is 40. Keri Hilson is 33. Frankie Muniz (Malcolm in the Middle) is 30.

• Bartender Appreciation Day. Earmuff Day. International Ninja Day. Comfort Food Day.


• JoBeth Williams is 67. Tom Hulce is 62. Country singer Bill Lloyd of Foster and Lloyd is 60. Janine Turner is 53. Judd Apatow is 48.

• World Soil Day. Miners’ Day. Pawnbrokers Day. St. Nicholas Day. Microwave Oven Day.