PRO January 26, 2016

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DATEBOOK: JANUARY 26, 2016

This is day 26 of 2016. There are 340 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• Bob Uecker is 81

• Scott Glenn is 77

• Eddie Van Halen is 61

• Ellen DeGeneres is 58

• Andrew Ridgeley (Wham!) is 53

• The Suleman octuplets (Octomom’s kids) are 7

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1802: Congress passed an act calling for a library to be established within the U.S. Capitol.

• 1875: The dental drill was patented by George F. Green of Kalamazoo, Michigan.

• 1920: Former Ford Motor Co. executive Henry Leland launched the Lincoln Motor Company which he later sold to his former employer.

• 1979: The Dukes of Hazzard premiered. The show ran for seven seasons.

• 1998: President Bill Clinton denied having an affair with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky, telling reporters, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

• 2006: Western Union discontinued use of its telegram service.

• 2009: A Japanese toy maker (Gamu-Toys) released action figures of Barack Obama wielding a samurai sword and a Star Wars lightsaber.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Peanut Brittle Day

• Spouse’s Day

UPCOMING

• February 7: Super Bowl 50

• February 14: Valentine’s Day

• March 15: NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament begins

More holidays

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NUMBER FOR THE DAY

14,502: Sugar packets owned by world record holder Ralf Schröder of Germany.

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NEWS ATTACK!

Two men who ran from the police in the High Sierras called 911 to turn themselves in when the nighttime temperature began to drop. [Usually, crooks turn themselves over in exchange for a lighter sentence, but these guys were willing to give the police their exact location in exchange for hot chocolate.]

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service says that this will be its last year participating in a famous program that helped young whooping cranes migrate to Florida by leading them in an ultralight aircraft. [It’s just too much work. Getting all those birds through airport security is a real pain.]

Experts say that there are so many cars on the road in Manila (Philippines) that the city is in danger of being completely uninhabitable. [There are so many cars that the license plate numbers are continued on the other side.]

The main incinerator in Oslo, Norway is attempting an experiment to improve global warming by capturing its carbon dioxide. [I’d like to see how that works. They could start by incinerating all existing copies of Robert De Niro’s new movie, Dirty Grandpa.]

Once again, bags of salad are being recalled due to bacterial contamination. [I thought salad was supposed to be good for you. I don’t ever remember them recalling bags of M&Ms.]

The other day a group of 40 prisoners escaped from a prison in Brazil by using explosives to blow a hole in a prison wall. [The incident now has formally reform-minded prison officials rethinking the wisdom of their prison chemistry lab.]

Alaska was rocked by a 6.8 magnitude earthquake. [It was so strong that it almost successfully unscrambled Sarah Palin’s syntax.]

Hong Kong has been named the world’s city with the least affordable housing. [Most of the stores there are open 24 hours because the employees can’t afford their own apartment,]

A New York woman is suing her rich husband after discovering that he secretly divorced her right after they married 20 years ago so that he wouldn’t have to share his money. [That explains why he used to chuckle each year that she mentioned their anniversary.]

At the Sundance Film Festival people walked out of the new Daniel Radcliffe movie where he plays a farting corpse. [I’m so tired of those British actors coming over here and taking jobs from American farting corpses.]

According to a survey, most Americans think the first sign of a heart attack is what they see on TV and in the movies — the person grabs his or her chest before keeling over. [That’s not a sign of a heart attack — that’s a sign that their smartphone battery ran out in the middle of writing a Facebook post.]

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NEWS & NUGGETS

AN IGLOO IN BROOKLYN WAS LISTED ON AIRBNB _ If your dream vacation was to sleep out under the stars and enjoy the brisk winter air from inside a secluded retreat yet remain right inside New York City, the perfect opportunity for you was briefly available for only $200 per night on the rental site Airbnb. It was an igloo a guy named Patrick carved out of a snowbank and listed on Airbnb. Unfortunately, the site immediately pulled the listing, perhaps suspecting that renting out an igloo in a Brooklyn backyard was against housing codes. | IMAGE

TINDER GOT BUSY DURING WINTER STORM JONAS _ Extreme winter weather and extreme boredom created the perfect storm for a massive surge in Tinder activity. A Tinder spokesman says that more than 10 million matches were made during the weekend of Winter Storm Jonas in the areas affected by the storm.

1957 FERRARI COULD FETCH $34 MILLION AT AUCTION _ A red 1957 Ferrari 335 S Spider Scaglietti will be auctioned in Paris on February 5. It raced in the Sebring 12 Hours race, the Mille Miglia race, the 24 Hours of Le Mans, finished fourth in the Swedish Grand Prix, finished second in the Venezuela Grand Prix and won the Cuba Grand Prix — some of the reasons why it’s expected to fetch up to $34 million.

YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO LOVE YOUR JOB IF YOU WORK FROM HOME _ Only 24% of people who work in an office say they love their jobs. But 38% of mobile workers and a whopping 45% of work-from-home employees love their jobs.

NYPD OFFICERS RESCUE BABY KITTY FROM INSIDE CAR WHEEL _ The NYPD helped rescue a stray two-month-old kitten who brought traffic to a standstill and escaped inside a car in Brooklyn Monday. A woman flagged down officers after the cat crossed the street and caused a traffic stop. The kitty then ran into the wheel of the woman’s car, prompting the officers to jack-lift the vehicle and remove the wheel. They were able to reach the female kitten and put her in a towel. The woman who flagged down the cops said she plans on adopting the furry stowaway, but didn’t have a name for her yet.

MOM PREGNANT WITH QUINTUPLETS HAS TO EAT 6,000 CALORIES A DAY _ An Australian family of four will increase more than two-fold when Kim Tucci gives birth to quintuplets (5 babies). The mom from Perth has to eat 6,000 calories a day. The 26-year-old has been documenting her pregnancy on her Facebook page, Surprised By Five, which has more than 130,000 followers. | LINK

PATRIOTS GEAR WILL HELP NEEDY CHILDREN _ Dick’s Sporting Goods said it plans to donate gear touting the New England Patriots for the Super Bowl to a nonprofit. The Patriots lost 20-18 to the Denver Broncos on Sunday. Dick’s says the T-shirts and hats will go to World Vision and be distributed to “countries in need.” In past years, World Vision has sent the gear to Haiti and El Salvador.

ATARI CONSOLE GAMES OFFICIALLY COME TO PC _ Atari is bringing a collection of 100 classic console games to the PC. The games will be packaged in a single title, Atari Vault. Among those already announced are Asteroids, Centipede, Missile Command, Tempest and Warlord.

WE LIVE IN FEAR…OF MONSTERS _ A recent found that 86 percent of adults and 91 percent of youngsters admitted to being very scared of something. War? Terrorists? Loss of social security? Actually, monsters. Forty-three percent of adults and 55 percent of youth polled thought monsters were in or around their house.

WHAT’S GROWING INSIDE YOUR PILLOW? _ A study (University of Manchester) analyzed the microbial contents of 10 household pillows, ages ranging from 18 months to 20 years. Researchers found more than a million spores and up to 16 species of fungi, including bread and shower molds, in each pillow. Fascinating fact: 20 gallons of one person’s sweat is soaked up by bedding each year.

BEN & JERRY’S UNVEILS BERNIE SANDERS’ INSPIRED ICE CREAM _ Ben & Jerry’s co-founder Ben Cohen announced and unveiled a new ice cream flavor Monday in support of Sanders’ campaign to become the 45th President of the United States. “Bernie’s Yearning” features a milk chocolate disk covering the top of plain mint ice cream. Per the flavor’s website, the label on back of the ice cream’s container describes the disk on top as, “the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession. Beneath it, the rest of us.”

… The Ben & Jerry’s ice cream company claims no association to its co-owners new creation, making it clear that the company and co-owner are not one and the same. They sent out a tweet from their company’s Twitter account Monday declaring, “This was created by Ben as a citizen. The company is not involved.”

WISCONSIN HUNTER PINK-WEAR BILL REACHES GOVERNOR’S DESK _ Wisconsin hunters could choose blaze pink protective wear if Governor Scott Walker signs a bill intended to draw more women to the sport. The legislation, approved by the state Senate last week, adds blaze pink to the bright orange hats, jackets and jumpsuits hunters are now required to wear. The bill next goes to Walker. Wisconsin would be the first state to allow hunters to wear blaze pink. Arkansas allows hunters to wear florescent chartreuse.

SCIENTISTS HAVE GROWN A HUMAN EAR ON THE BACK OF A RAT _ Japanese scientists have shown off a rat with a living human ear growing on its back — and say that ears could be “grown to order” within five years. The technique could be used to help people born with facial deformities. Researchers from Tokyo and Kyoto University turned human stem cells into cartilage cells, then placed them in tiny tubes shaped like human ears on a rat’s back. Over the course of two months, the plastic framework dissolves — leaving an ear-shaped mass of flesh on the animal’s back. At present, replacement ears are made using cartilage taken from the patient’s ribs in a painful and time-consuming process.

FILMMAKER REPLACED HIS EYEBALL WITH A CAMERA _ As a kid, Toronto filmmaker Rob Spence played with a Six Million Dollar Man action figure. At 43, he’s turned himself into a real-life version of the bionic hero. A shotgun accident at age 9 left him legally blind in one eye. Twenty-six years later, Spence had the eye removed and got the idea to replace it with a camera. The eye-cam resembles a regular prosthetic eye, embedded with a camera that is equipped with a radio frequency micro-transmitter. As a documentarian, his eye-cam gives him the ability to conduct intimate interviews without the intrusion of bulky lenses or camera crews. Currently Spence can only get about three minutes of film at a time, because the camera overheats.

REPAIRMAN FIXES MILITARY WIFE’S BROKEN FURNACE FOR $1 _ When a military wife’s furnace broke down, a Pennsylvania repairman stepped in and fixed the malfunctioning unit at a huge discount. He charged her $1. Paul Betlyn of Betlyn Heating and Cooling said the job normally would have cost about $150, but he gave Stevens, a mother of two, a “deployment discount.” He told a local TV station: “I’m not the hero here. The deployed, they’re the heroes.”

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WACKY-BUT-TRUE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COUNCILMAN SWORN IN FROM BEHIND BARS _ An East Chicago, Indiana, councilman was sworn into office behind bars earlier this month while in custody on murder charges. Robert Battle, who was re-elected in November when he ran unopposed, was given his oath of office and signed required paperwork on January 15. Prosecutors said Battle fatally shot a man in October. Battle’s attorney has claimed the man pulled a knife on him, but police said they didn’t find a knife at the scene.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: DOG ACCIDENTALLY RUNS HALF-MARATHON _ A dog that left her Alabama home for a walk wound up running in a local half-marathon — which she finished in an impressive seventh place. Two-year-old Ludivane, a bloodhound ( from Elkmont), had been let out for a stroll by her owner when she came across the Trackless Train Trek Half Marathon. Always up for a run, the puppy committed to the endurance challenge and finished the course in just over an hour and 30 minutes. The Elkmont Half Marathon honored the canine’s participation and awarded her with a medal. Her owner was oblivious to her dog’s competitive spirit, and said she only became aware of the epic run when friends started sending her photos of Ludo at the finish line.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TRAIN PASSENGERS STRANDED AT WRONG STOP _ Around 100 train passengers were left stranded at a station in China after a conductor called out the wrong stop. The passengers were stuck for hours after midnight on Saturday thanks to the confused conductor.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: 57-YEAR-OLD ATTRACT WOMEN WITH INCANTATION _ A middle-aged man in Japan found to be living with 10 younger women said he attracted them by reciting an incantation that came to him in a dream. The 57-year-old man’s unusual living arrangements came to light when another woman complained to police that he had threatened her after she refused to join his harem. The man told authorities, “I had a dream that told me I would become attractive to women if I recited a particular incantation.” The downside to his incantation? A rapid series of weddings and divorces left the man with a large group of ex-wives, mostly in their 20s and 30s, who shared his surname and continued to live with him.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: GUY GETS PREMATURE SUPER BOWL 50 TATTOO _ It really seems like this happens every few months: a sports fan’s favorite team is inches away from winning a World Series, Super Bowl or NCAA trophy and decides he can’t wait for the championship tattoo. Then his team loses. Which is why an Arizona Cardinals fan is sporting a new Cardinals Super Bowl 50 tat this week — despite losing to the Carolina Panthers. | IMAGE

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BULLFIGHTER TAKES BABY INTO THE RING _ One of Spain’s most celebrated bullfighters is catching heat after posting a photograph of himself fighting a bull while holding his infant daughter. Francisco “Fran” Rivera Ordóñez was in the hospital recovering from a serious goring when his wife gave birth to his daughter Carmen on August 19. On Sunday night he posted the photograph of a training session in which he clutched his baby daughter in his arms while practicing cape work with a bull calf. He wrote: “This is the fifth generation of bullfighters in our family. My grandfather used to bullfight with me and my father like this. My father also used to bullfight like this with me, and I have done it with my daughter Cayetana and now Carmen.”

… Alongside messages of support from his fans, the bullfighter received criticism for putting his daughter in unnecessary danger.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: THIEVES SWIPE $160,000 WORTH OF CHEESE _ In Wisconsin, thieves made off with plenty of cheddar after swiping a trailer filled with $70,000 worth of cheese last Friday. The trailer was located hours later — but no cheese was found. The incident was the second cheese-related caper of the week. A few days before Friday’s cheddar robbery nearly $90,000 worth of parmesan went missing.

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ON TELEVISION

NCIS (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat

FRESH OFF THE BOAT (8p ET, ABC) — Repeat

HOLLYWOOD GAME NIGHT (8p ET, NBC) — Celebrities playing in this new edition are  Dana Delany, Joe Montegna, Kym Whitley, Lea Thompson, Ryan Eggold and Cheryl Burke.

NEW GIRL (8p ET, FOX) — Fred Armisen (Portlandia) guest stars in this new episode.

THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — New

THE MUPPETS (8:30p ET, ABC) — Repeat

GRANDFATHERED (8:30p ET, FOX) — Ryan Hansen (2 Broke Girls, Veronica Mars) guest stars in this new episode.

NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat

MARVEL’S AGENT CARTER (9p ET, ABC) — New

CHICAGO MED (9p ET, NBC) —

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (9p ET, FOX) — Niecy Nash (Scream Queens) guest stars in this new episode.

DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (9p ET, CW) — A repeat of the pilot episode

THE GRINDER (9:30p ET, FOX) — New

LIMITLESS (10p ET, CBS) — Repeat

CHICAGO FIRE (10p ET, NBC) — New

SEASON PREMIERE: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (10p ET, ABC) — In the season 11 premiere, see what people do when a woman struggles to change her tire on a suburban street.

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ENTERTAINMENT

CHRIS ROCK’S “MADE NO DECISIONS” ABOUT OSCARS _ A publicist for Chris Rock shot down reports that the comedian was rewriting his opening monologue for this year’s Oscars ceremony to address the ongoing controversy over racial diversity. His publicist said in a statement Monday: “Chris has made no decisions about the content of the show.” The statement comes in response to an interview that Reginald Hudlin, producer of the upcoming Oscars broadcast, gave to Entertainment Tonight at Saturday’s NAACP Image Awards. “Chris is hard at work. He and his writing staff locked themselves in a room. As things got a little provocative and exciting, he said, ‘I’m throwing out the show I wrote and writing a new show.'”

… Rock’s publicist said Monday: “Regarding Reggie Hudlin’s comments about Chris Rock’s Oscar hosting duties, neither he nor anyone else speaks for Chris.”

MATTHEW PERRY CAN’T RECALL 3 YEARS OF FRIENDS _ While Matthew Perry could not join his Friends friends at a recent taping of a TV special honoring the show’s director, he and his old cast-mates do discuss the possibility of a reunion episode. Perry told BBC Radio: “I think the actors would actually be open to it. … I think we would be open to doing something — maybe some TV special. I don’t know about a movie” like the Entourage or Sex and the City films. He added: “”Sometimes when you do a reunion it’s terrible and it sort of ruins the memory of the good show that you’d done before. … But I think the cast would be open to doing something like that at some point.”

… Perry also joked about the substance-abuse issues that have plagued him for many years. When a fellow guest on the radio show asked him to name his least-favorite Friends episode, Perry replied, “I think the answer is I don’t remember three years of it.” Someone asked, “You were pretty out of it, weren’t you, for a while?” He answered: “A little bit of the time I was a little out of it, yeah,” adding that his least-favorite episode is “somewhere between season three and six.”

JON HAMM’S NAME IS MISSPELLED ON HIS FIRST GOLDEN GLOBE _ Jon Hamm revealed that the statuette he received for Mad Men back in 2008 misspells his name as “John Hamm.”

RONDA ROUSEY IS NOT ENGAGED _ Ronda Rousey is not engaged to boyfriend Travis Browne. Rumors started swirling that Ronda is engaged to Travis after she was seen wearing a diamond ring in one of her SNL promos. A rep for Ronda said Monday, “The ring she was wearing was part of the jewelry for her Saturday Night Live promo.”

PATRIOTS VS. BRONCOS DRAWS 53.3 MILLION VIEWERS _ Sunday’s AFC Championship game between the New England Patriots and Denver Broncos football game on CBS was the second most-watched AFC title game on any network in 39 years. The game drew 53.3 million viewers, putting it behind only the New York Jets and the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2011, which had 54.9 million viewers.

… The game also became the highest-rated and most-watched television program since last year’s Super Bowl.

… FOX’s NFC championship game between the Arizona Cardinals and the Carolina Panthers had 45.7 million viewers.

PEOPLE V O.J. SIMPSON PICKED APART BY KATO KAELIN _ Kato Kaelin would like to set the record straight: FX’s upcoming American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson gets plenty wrong about his stay at Simpson’s home. Kaelin, a house guest of Simpson’s and a witness at Simpson’s murder trial, offered a semi-blistering review of  the anthology series — or a least its first episode — for the New York Daily News, calling out what he claimed were numerous inaccuracies.

… Among Kaelin’s gripes: That the series depicts three detectives knocking at Kaelin’s door, instead of the four that Kaelin claims were there. He also said that he never walked detectives out back where they would find the now-notorious bloody glove, but rather informed them that he heard “a loud thump coming from my back wall, which I dismissed as an earthquake.”

… And Kaelin said he was inaccurately portrayed as a carnivore in the series. Kaelin said, “In another scene, Billy Magnussen, who portrays me, is eating a hamburger and O.J. asked about his love for burgers, which hints to an alibi. In real life, I stopped eating red meat in 1983.”

… The series premieres early in February.

MORE STARS DONATE WATER FOR FLINT _ AQUAhydrate investors Mark Wahlberg and Sean “Diddy” Combs have pledged to donate one million bottles of water to the people of Flint, Michigan, who have been without clean drinking water for months.

… Eminem, who is a nearby Detroit, Michigan, resident, and rapper Wiz Khalifa have already joined the AQUAhydrate effort, as well as Cher, who donated 180,000 bottles of water on her own just last week.

JIMMY FALLON DONATES $10,000 TO FLINT CHARITY _ Jimmy Fallon is doing good, and he’s asking for his friends to join him. The Tonight Show host revealed on Twitter that he was donating $10,000 to Community Foundation Greater Flint, a charity supporting the community in Flint, Michigan.

PETA’S BANNED SUPER BOWL AD 2016 IS VERY NSFW _ PETA has released its new commercial, which was submitted for Super Bowl consideration even though it’s way too racy to be shown on television. The organization reportedly creates a commercial every year for the big game knowing that it will not be played on TV and instead releases it online. The commercial for 2016 shows two couples having sex with the meat eater man finishing very quickly and the vegan man lasting a long time.

… The video’s caption reads: “Eating the saturated fat and cholesterol in meat can increase the risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol, and these can be dangerous to your love life. Why? Because they’re all common causes of erectile dysfunction.” | VIDEO

SOFIA VERGARA SUES SKIN-TIGHTENING COMPANY FOR $15 MILLION _ Sofia Vergara says that Venus Concept has been all up in her face — and she’s suing to get them out of it. The Modern Family star filed suit against Venus Monday, claiming that her name, photograph, likeness and persona have been wrongfully used to promote their Venus Legacy products and services — and she wants at least $15 million in compensation.

… In the suit, Vergara claims that she posted a selfie on Instagram prior to the Emmy Awards in 2014. She said it portrayed her receiving a skin treatment while a portrait of Marilyn Monroe looked on, with the caption, “What is so funny Marilyn?”

… The actress claims that, months later, the Instagram post was featured on an episode of Extra, as a doctor for Venus Concept “promoted at length Venus Concept’s Venus Legacy non-surgical body contouring and skin-tightening treatment.” The lawsuit says she would never endorse the Legacy treatment — because she tried it and didn’t like it.

RAPPER B.O.B SAYS EARTH IS FLAT _ Rapper B.o.B thinks the joke’s been on us for hundreds of years — claiming the Earth is flat in a series of tweets to his 2 million followers. The Georgia native who dropped out of high school tweeted more than 25 times over a span of 20 hours. Trending on Twitter and Facebook, the Grammy-nominated artist garnered a lot of reaction, including a few words from renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.

MILEY CYRUS TO STAR IN WOODY ALLEN’S AMAZON SERIES _ Miley Cyrus will star alongside Woody Allen in his his new Amazon series. The series will reportedly be six half-hour episodes that take place in the 1960s.

THE ROCK JOINS UNDER ARMOUR TEAM _ Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson is Under Armour’s newest celebrity business partner. The actor and former WWE champion has signed on to a long-term partnership with the athletic apparel and footwear maker.  Johnson will help Under Armour promote its philanthropic endeavors as well as its brands and health monitoring apps.

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AUDIO

Newest on the PRO AUDIO page.

• OSCARS: Chris Rock on Letterman in 2005

• OSCARS: Chris Rock says doing animation is easy (at Oscars in 2012)

• DROP: Trump sound-a-like paying compliment to female on your show (from SNL)

• DROP: Sarah Palin sound-a-like rattles off job titles (from SNL)

• DROP: Donald Trump slams your show

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BITS & BREAKS

YOU BOOK THE HALFTIME SHOW

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: You’re in charge of the Super Bowl halftime show: name the three bands/artists you would book.

NEW ON DVD TODAY

  • Goosebumps
  • Burnt
  • A Brilliant Young Mind
  • Downton Abbey – Season 6
  • The Facts of Life- The Complete 8th Season

WHAT IS THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO BE WOKEN UP?

This question was asked on reddit: What’s the worst way to be woken up?

• I was sleeping on an air mattress and my friend dove onto the other side of the mattress, bouncing me up into the air. I woke up not touching the ground, weightless, falling. It sure got the adrenaline going.

• For those who have dogs or cats: The sound of “GUH GUH GUH GUH” as your dog is about to throw up all over your bed or your floor.

• Waking up and thinking you have hours left to sleep and then hearing the alarm go off right as you’re about to drift back into sleep.

• My friend’s dad woke him up once by pouring a gas can on him. When my friend realized what was going on, his dad was lighting a match and threw it at him. The gas can was filled with water. My friend never overslept for school again.

• I rarely am able to sleep on airplanes, but I was on a flight last year and somehow managed to nod off into a peaceful slumber. All of a sudden I’m jostled awake by an intense free-falling feeling and screams of terror coming from all around me. You know that 1 in 1,000 type of turbulence pilots talk about from time to time? The plane went into what felt like a sideways dive at like a 30-40 degree angle for a good 6-8 seconds. Everyone in the plane lost it. The pilots regained control and all was well. They admitted on the intercom that it was some of the worst turbulence they’d ever encountered. I woke up right in the middle of that.

• One time I was woken up by my 3-year-old cousin sitting on my chest and rubbing peanut butter into my mustache. When I opened my eyes she said, “We’re out of cornflakes. Fix it.”

FB icon Start it on Facebook, take it to the phones: What’s the worst possible way to be woken up?

SECRET DATING RULES

From AskMen.com

Women, do you agree with these tips? How about any dating dips for women?

WAIT THREE DAYS BEFORE CALLING BACK — The idea behind this dating rule of thumb is to make sure that your new squeeze doesn’t think you’re desperate to see her.

TAKE HER WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR NAME — Another way to impress your new woman early in the game is to go somewhere where you already have a great reputation. A display of social clout will definitely make an impact on your date. It’s a sure-fire way to let her know that she’s caught herself a real man.

LIMIT YOUR SPENDING — On early dates, take her to places where you don’t have to spend much, such as a coffee shop. This will give you a chance to figure out whether she’s all about you… or your wallet. Mind you, don’t cheap out completely, or she’ll just think you’re a bum.

SCREEN HER FIRST FEW CALLS — You want to make sure that you’re not getting involved with someone with stalker tendencies. Return her calls one or two days later, so that you keep control of the situation — but no later than this, or you risk turning her off completely and losing your honey to another bee.

DON’T OFFER HER GIFTS EARLY ON — Very rarely are you going to recognize a woman as the love of your life within the first few months of dating her. At this point you’re still getting to know her, and she most likely hasn’t revealed any of those true quirks or characteristics that could put a quick end to your dating. So don’t get all goofy and start showering her with expensive gifts.

DON’T FLATTER HER TOO MUCH — While it’s true that you will have to do some flattering in your initial flirtations, keep it toned down. The worst thing you can do is lay on the compliments too thick at the beginning. Rather than inflating her head, see if she can enjoy your company and conversation without an accompanying ego massage.

DON’T MEET HER FRIENDS… YET — Finding the time to date a new girl is always a challenge, so don’t make things more difficult for yourself by agreeing to meet her friends as well. Besides exposing yourself to a modern-day inquisition, you risk also giving her the impression that she can invite one or more of her friends to come out with the two of you. Even worse, she may want to double date with her friends and their boyfriends.

SHOWER THOUGHTS

In the shower you’re alone with no distractions. It’s just you and your thoughts. On a Reddit board called Shower Thoughts people share what things they thought of while shower.

• Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream .

• It’s ironic that people usually show their driver licenses to buy alcohol.

• Disney/Pixar movies about animals always increase sales of those breeds. They should research the most difficult breeds for shelters to re-home and make a movie about them.

• Photoshop is the worst skill to list on a dating website .

• Why do we add “fish” to the end of tuna fish? It’s not like we’re going to mistake for a different kind of tuna.

• My standard of living is far greater than that of a king in medieval times.

• The name Nick is a nickname.

• Hershey Kisses are just giant chocolate chips.

• When you get a hole in your sock, you’ve actually just ruined two socks.

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FUN & GAMES

TRIVIA: According to a poll, British couples cause an estimated $490 million in damage each year how? (By having energetic sex. Besides breaking lamps, vases and beds, a lot of British couples have made medical insurance claims for severe carpet burns, pulled backs and twisted ankles.)

TRIVIA: What do the following sports have in common: golf; polo; tug-of-war; cricket; power boating. (They are all former Olympic events. However, golf will return to the Olympics in 2016 for the first time since the 1904 Summer Olympics in St. Louis, and will feature men’s and women’s individual events.)

MYSTERY VOICE

Question: Who is this?

Answer: Neil deGrasse Tyson

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JOKE OF THE DAY

A woman was rushed to the hospital unexpectedly. She was going to be OK but had to stay the night, so she asked her husband to go home and bring her a few items. One item on her list was “comfortable underwear.” Not sure what she considered comfortable, the husband asked, “How will I know which ones to pick?” “Hold them up and imagine them on me,” she answered. “If you smile, put them back in the drawer.”

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VIDEO OF THE DAY

Brave French bulldog jumps off couch, gets t-boned by another dog.

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IMAGE OF THE DAY

Guy creates snow maze for dogs in back yard.


Source: imgur

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LAST MINUTE ITEMS

EmailOnDeck provides you with free temporary email that you can use for whatever you want.

• 100% free stock photos, even for commercial use.

• A VFX breakdown of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

• You’re making life harder than it has to be.

• Netflix secret categories.

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DATEBOOK: JANUARY 27, 2016

This is day 27 of 2016. There are 339 days remaining.

BIRTHDAYS

• James Cromwell (Babe) is 76

• Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is 61

• Mimi Rogers is 60

• Bridget Fonda is 52

• Alan Cumming is 51

• Patton Oswalt is 47

• Reality star Jake Pavelka (The Bachelor) is 38

IT HAPPENED TODAY

• 1756: Composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was born in Salzburg, Austria.

• 1880: Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric incandescent lamp.

• 1963: The first inductees into the Pro Football Hall of Fame were announced.

• 1977: The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church’s ban on female priests.

• 1981: President Ronald Reagan greeted the 52 former American hostages released by Iran at the White House.

• 1998: First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, appearing on NBC’s Today show, said that allegations against her husband were the work of a “vast right-wing conspiracy.”

• 2002: In his State of the Union Address, United States President George W. Bush described “regimes that sponsor terror” as an Axis of Evil, in which he included Iraq, Iran and North Korea.

• 2010: New York City’s Transit Authority said it would investigate a video posted on YouTube that appeared to show a man on a subway kissing and cuddling a live chicken.

SPECIAL EVENTS

• Thomas Crapper Day. Crapper was a plumber who founded Thomas Crapper & Co in London. Contrary to widespread misconceptions, Crapper did not invent the flush toilet. He did, however, do much to increase the popularity of the toilet, and developed some important related inventions.

• Chocolate Cake Day

UPCOMING

• February 7: Super Bowl 50

• February 14: Valentine’s Day

• March 15: NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament begins

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