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This is day 68 of 2016. There are 298 days remaining.
• Micky Dolenz (The Monkees) is 71
• Aidan Quinn (Elementary) is 57
• Camryn Manheim (Person of Interest) is 55
• James Van Der Beek (CSI: Cyber) is 39
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1936: The first stock car race was held in Daytona Beach, Florida.
• 1983: President Ronald Reagan called the Soviet Union an evil empire.
• 1998: Surgeons in China removed two of a 32-year-old farmer’s three tongues to allow him to speak and eat normally for the first time in 20 years. The man had grown a second tongue at age five and a third by age 12.
• 2003: North Dakota Governor John Hoeven reported receiving three calls the first week on his new secure emergency phone installed at the request of the federal Department of Homeland Security — one a wrong number and two from telemarketers.
• 2009: A village in northern Austria, worried by its dwindling population, began offering free land to all who pledged to start a family within a decade. Plots of 8,600 to 9,600 square feet were offered up in Rappottenstein, near the Czech border, to both singles and married couples who pledged to have at least one child in the next 10 years.
• 2009: The last of the Circuit City stores closed their doors.
• Pancake Day
• International Women’s Day
• Organize Your Home Office Day
• Unique Names Day
• Be Nasty Day
• March 13: Daylight Saving Time begins (move clocks forward)
• March 15: NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament begins
• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day
• March 27: Easter
• April 1: April Fools’ Day
7: Average number of firearms discovered each day at TSA checkpoints.
New research shows that the use of electronic gadgets can make you sleepy. [And people think I’m crazy for taping a pillow to my car window.]
A new study finds that parents tend to overstate the joys of parenting. [Apparently they’ve been talking to my folks again.]
Former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced that he will not run for president of the United States. [He said after careful consideration, he just didn’t have the hair for it.]
At a game in Florida a dad stopped a Major League Baseball bat from hitting his kid in the head. An almost excaclty five years ago a guy snagged a flying bat with one hand — while holding a beer. [That’s how you make MLB more fun — the players have to hold a beer and the team loses a run if they spill.]
A lawsuit stemming from Flint’s lead-contaminated water was filed Monday against Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder and others. [Flint residents aren’t picky — they just want their water to not crunch when they drink it.]
Authorities in Germany arrested a drunken hearse driver after he bit the policeman who stopped him for driving erratically. [He couldn’t convince the cop that the only reason he was behind the wheel was because his designated driver was dead.]
According to research, hummingbirds have brains the size of a grain of rice but have superb memories when it comes to remembering the location of food sources, like feeders filled with sugar water. [I’ve got a huge brain and it still takes me ten minutes to remember where I set down my soft drink.]
A new study (published in Pediatrics) found that parents should postpone purchase of a dog until children are of school age. [Most kids agree. Why waste your money on a dog when you don’t have a need to blame it for eating your homework?]
Once again North Korea is threatening the U.S. with a nuclear attack. [Not yet, please. I haven’t used up all my vacation time.]
The beat-up and aging Peyton Manning has retired. [But only from football. He’ll still make commercials for mobility scooters and walk-in bathtubs.]
A brand of frozen chicken nuggets has been recalled due to containing plastic. [I’m confused. What’s the difference?]
MORTUARY CREMATES WRONG BODY FUNERAL _ A mortuary in China cremated the wrong body in a mix-up that left family members without a chance to bid a final farewell to their loved one. More than 30 friends and relatives had traveled from across the country to pay their respects at the Monday service, only to find mortuary staff unable to produce the remains. Finally someone claiming to be a manager came out and told the family they had cremated the wrong body.
DAD SAVING SON’S FACE REMINDS US OF SAVED BEER! _ No doubt you saw the photo of the dad saving his son’s face during a spring training game in Florida. A Pirates player’s bat slipped out of his hands and would have smacked the kid in the head had dad not been quick to deflect it. • IMAGE
… That (you) reminded me of Mitch Davie of Brooklyn, New York, who made a one-handed catch of a flying bat off the swing of an Atlanta Braves player five years ago. Most impressive: Davie was holding a beer in his other hand. • IMAGE
CARTOON CHARACTERS ON FOOD MAKES IT TASTE BETTER _ Kids think foods taste better if the products have cartoon characters on the packaging. In a study, researchers at the University of Pennsylvania tested this kind of marketing has on young children. They had 80 kids, ages 4 to 6, look at one of four boxes of a “new” cereal created for the experiment by the researchers. The cereals were called Healthy Bits and Sugar Bits. One box of each type had a cartoon character on the front, and one of each type had no character. Kids who ate the cereal with penguin characters on the box reported liking the cereal better than kids who ate the cereal without the characters on the boxes. The cereal’s name had an impact on taste, too. When there was no character on the boxes, the children rated Healthy Bits cereal better tasting than those kids who sampled Sugar Bits.
BOGUS PARKING TICKETS SURFACE IN DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE _ Asheville, North Carolina’s Transportation Director says somebody downtown has been giving people fake parking tickets. The fake tickets were for $100, while the city’s normal fine is only $10. The police say they can only charge the person with littering.
AUSTRALIA’S ‘UGLY’ ANIMALS ATTRACT LESS STUDY _ New research finds koalas and kangaroos are subject to more scientific study in Australia, while rodents and bats and other “ugly” animals attract less funding and investigation.
GIRL DONATES ALL OF HER BIRTHDAY PRESENTS TO CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL _ A Louisiana girl who’s turning 8 this week (Wednesday) has decided to celebrate in a very special way to honor her grandmother. Nicoline Perrin’s grandmother, Tricia Gisclair, passed away recently. In memory of her grandmother, Nicoline will send all of her birthday gifts to a children’s cancer hospital in Houston.
HAUNTED iPHONES AND iPADS RECEIVING GHOST EMAILS FROM 1970 _ Well, this is spooky: a glitch has been discovered that apparently affects iOS email apps with users receiving empty messages dated January 1, 1970. The emails have no subject or sender, and opening them shows nothing. The emails often appear when iPhone users are checking their emails in a different time zone. Their existence, however, appears to be due to an iPhone glitch, rather than anything malicious. If you’re experiencing the problem, try closing the email app and performing a hard reset on your iPhone or iPad. You do this by holding down the lock and home button until the iDevice resets.
HALF OF INVENTIONS “ARISE UNEXPECTEDLY” _ If you’re smashing your face into the keyboard trying to come up with a brand-new invention, you need to stop and go for a walk. You could also try watching a movie about an unrelated topic. A new book on the process of invention, Inventology by Pagan Kennedy, reveals that roughly half of all inventions started as ideas or discoveries that people had while working on something else.
SCIENTISTS WILL DRILL INTO IMPACT CRATER OF DINO-KILLING ASTEROID _ Sixty-six million years ago, a six-mile-wide asteroid slammed into what is now Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula, triggering a series of events that led to the extinction of the dinosaurs. Now, a team of scientists based at the University of Texas at Austin is gearing up to drill a diamond-tipped bit into the heart of the impact crater, hoping to find clues about how life on Earth came back after the cataclysmic event. The “ground zero” site of the dino-killing asteroid’s impact is one of the largest on earth, at over 110 miles in diameter and 12 miles in depth.
VIDEO THAT SAYS YOU CAN UNLOCK ANYONE’S iPHONE IS A LIE _ A viral video recently shared on Facebook claims there’s a glitch that allows anyone to get past an iPhone’s passcode through Siri. The video has been viewed over 42 million times. And it’s a scam. The video — and many others like it — claims that you can ask Siri, “What’s the time?” to get past the lock screen. If you look closely, the person in the video is probably using their finger to unlock the phone with Touch ID. If your iPhone is running iOS 9.0.2 or newer your device should be safe.
SCIENTIST PLANS TO CLONE EXTINCT CAVE LION _ A South Korean cloning scientist plans to clone an extinct Siberian cave lion, using tissue samples from one of a pair of the animals found preserved in permafrost last year. The two prehistoric big cats were infants when they died, their remains estimated to be some 12,000 years old. Siberian cave lions would have looked roughly like modern lions. It’s likely they preyed on animals such as bison, young or injured mammoths, deer, and horses. And soon… humans.
AMERICANS PREFER SMARTPHONES TO SEX _ People are addicted to their phones. Now we know just how addicted. According to a study, smartphones are far more important in peoples’ lives than sex. In fact, 20 percent of those surveyed said they couldn’t live without sex. Next up was television (that included streaming, I believe) at 23 percent. Twenty-six percent said they’d “die” without their phones and 28 percent called the Internet a life necessity.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN DRIVES 30 MILES IN REVERSE _ Police in Russia are expected to charge a man after he drove in reverse 30 miles along a highway. Police officers say the driver told them he was on his way home and reverse was the only gear working in the car at the time.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: COPS PULL OVER CAR WITH TREE STUCK IN GRILLE _ According to a suburban Chicago police report, a woman was pulled over for driving with a large tree embedded in the front grille. An officer spotted the 2004 Lincoln and pulled over 54-year-old Maryann Christy, who police say smelled of booze and didn’t pass sobriety tests. Christy told police she had rammed into the tree but wasn’t sure where. Officers noted in their report that airbags in her car had been deployed. • IMAGE
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMAN ESCAPES OFFICERS IN ‘MYSTERY MACHINE’ VAN _ A Redding, California, woman is on the loose after a high-speed police chase in a minivan painted to look like the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo. • SCOOBY DOO THEME
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LOST GOLDFISH CASE IN NORWAY CLOSER TO BEING SOLVED _ Investigators in Norway say they are very close to solving a case of a lost goldfish found abandoned Saturday in a shopping bag at a soccer stadium. Officers had felt it their duty to look after the fish until the owner was found. But until that happens, one of the officers on the case has been allowed to take the goldfish home to care for it. The goldfish had been living in a jelly jar on a desk.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BURP LEADS FIRST TO FINE, THEN TO EXPENSES-PAID TRIP _ A man in Vienna, Austria, had just finished eating a Turkish kebab and let a burp rip. A policeman heard the burp and ticketed and fined the man, asserting the belch was too loud — and too close for comfort. But many took his side, including an Istanbul-based company serving the sliced meat sandwich that lead to the bartender’s punishment. The company said Monday it would send the man on an all-expenses-paid trip to Istanbul, Turkey for some sight-seeing.
THE VOICE (8p ET, NBC) — The Blind Auditions continue in this new, 2-hour edition.
NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (8p ET, CBS) — Repeat
FRESH OFF THE BOAT (8p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, Jessica gets jealous when Louis’ new friend turns out to be an attractive woman.
NEW GIRL (8p ET, FOX) — Zooey Deschanel returns as the show celebrates its 100th episode. Megan Fox concludes her guest starring arc.
THE FLASH (8p ET, CW) — Repeat
THE REAL O’NEALS (8:30p ET, ABC) — The Real O’Neals moves to its regular night and time with this new episode.
GRANDFATHERED (8:30p ET, FOX) — Jimmy deals with being in a relationship in this new episode. Regina Hall (Think like a Man) and comedian Jeff Ross guest star.
NCIS (9p ET, CBS) — Repeat
MARVEL’S AGENT OF S.H.E.I.L.D. (9p ET, ABC) — In this new episode, the team encounter more Inhumans with unknown loyalties.
BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (9p ET, FOX) — Repeat
IZOMBIE (9p ET, CW) — Repeat
RIZZOLI AND ISLES (9p ET, TNT) — New
THE GRINDER (9:30p ET, FOX) — Repeat
LIMITLESS (10p ET, CBS) — After being exposed to an unknown substance, Brian and Rebecca are placed under quarantine in this new episode.
SERIES PREMIERE: OF KINGS AND PROPHETS (10p ET, ABC) — This new biblical saga, based on the Old Testament books of Samuel, is told through the eyes of King Saul (Ray Winstone, Hugo), the prophet Samuel (acclaimed Israeli actor and director Mohammad Bakri) and a young shepherd David (as in, David and Goliath). The show is being compared to a biblical Game of Thrones.
LITTLE BIG SHOTS (10p ET, NBC) — This new series (which “technically” doesn’t premiere until March 13), is from Ellen DeGeneres and Steve Harvey who’ve team up to showcase talented kids on this comedy-variety series, hosted by Harvey. The show will feature young musicians, singers, dancers and other performers. This is a “preview” episode.
THE PEOPLE V. O.J. SIMPSON: AMERICAN CRIME STORY (10p ET, FX) — In this new episode, Marcia Clark juggles her home and work life while dealing with public scrutiny of her appearance.
JURY AWARDS $55 MILLIONS TO ERIN ANDREWS _ A jury has awarded TV personality Erin Andrews $55 million in her lawsuit over a secretly recorded nude video that a stalker took of her in a hotel room and posted online. The jury came back with its decision Monday after about a day of deliberations. Andrews maintained that the stalker and two hotel companies were to blame for the video. She tearfully testified that she was publicly humiliated, shamed and suffers from depression as a result of the videos, which have been viewed by millions of people. Attorneys for the owner and former operator of the Marriott at Vanderbilt argued that while what happened to Andrews was terrible, the convicted stalker, Michael David Barrett, should be solely to blame for the video shot in 2008.
LAWYER FEATURED IN MAKING A MURDERER IS WRITING A BOOK _ An attorney for Steven Avery who was featured in the hit Netflix series Making a Murderer has more to say about the trial. Jerome Buting has a deal with HarperCollins Publishers for a book being released next year. In the book, Buting will draw on his 35-year career and assail the “dysfunction” of the criminal justice system.
JK ROWLING TO PUBLISH FOUR INSTALLMENTS OF MAGIC IN NORTH AMERICA _ JK Rowling has written four installments of “Magic in North America” to introduce audiences to a new place and time in her wizarding world. The articles will be posted on pottermore.com over four consecutive days, beginning today (Tuesday) at (9AM ET). The pieces “will enlighten readers about a previously unexplored corner of the wizarding world: North American witches and wizards, their history and their magic.”
LIBRARY PROMISED JK ROWLING CAKE — SHE ACTUALLY TURNED UP _ If you’ve ever wondered how to get JK Rowling to come to a discussion about one of her books, offer her cake. The Orkney Library in the UK tweeted Saturday: Join us at 2:30 … we shall be discussing The Cuckoo’s Calling.” The Cuckcoo’s Calling was written by Rowing under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. JK tweeted back about the event and she was invited — they even asked what her favorite cake is (lemon). Rowling surprised the library and a dozen or so fan by showing up.
BETTE MIDLER THROWS SHADE AT KIM KARDASHIAN’S NSFW SELFIE _ Bette Midler threw some shade at Kim Kardashian for that completely bare selfie from late Sunday night. The 70-year-old entertainer and actress took to Twitter and wrote, “Kim Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie today. If Kim wants us to see a part of her we’ve never seen, she’s gonna have to swallow the camera.”
CHLOE MORETZ CALLS OUT KIM KARDASHIAN AFTER NSFW SELFIE _ Chloe Moretz used social media in response to a NSFW photo that Kim Kardashian posted. The 19-year-old tweeted at the 35-year-old reality star about setting a good example for women: “@KimKardashian I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than just our bodies.”
… Kim originally captioned the risque pic, “When you’re like I have nothing to wear LOL”
JOHNNY DEPP’S HEAD WAS ON THE WALKING DEAD _ Johnny Depp made a cameo on the latest episode of The Walking Dead on Sunday night and chances are, you had no idea it was him. In one scene, three decapitated heads of walkers were seen on display and one of them just so happened to be molded from Johnny‘s actual head. • IMAGE
HULK HOGAN TESTIFIES POSTING OF SEX TAPE LEFT HIM “HUMILIATED” _ Hulk Hogan’s trial against Gawker began on Monday, with the wrestler testifying that the website’s posting of a secretly recorded sex tape left him “humiliated” and “violently shaking.” Hogan is suing Gawker’s parent company after it posted a portion of the sex tape on its site in 2012. In the video, Hogan can be seen having sex with Heather Clem, the wife of a former friend.
… Hogan is seeking $100 million in damages from Gawker for posting the one minute and 40 seconds long video.
TOM HIDDLESTON WANTS TO PLAY JAMES BOND _ Tom Hiddleston would love to play James Bond once Daniel Craig gives up the role. The 35-year-old British actor expressed interest in the part in an interview with The Sunday Times, saying he’s a “huge fan” of the James Bond movies.
J.J. ABRAMS SAYS 10 MORE STAR WARS FILMS ARE IN THE WORKS _ After the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and its subsequent success, Disney is reportedly planning an additional 10 Star Wars movies — not including a bunch of character spin-offs.
… The first Star Wars spin off, Star Wars: Rogue One, is coming this December. The next Star Wars film, Episode VIII, comes in December, 2017.
J.K. SIMMONS WILL STAR IN JUSTICE LEAGUE _ J.K. Simmons has joined the cast of the Justice League as James Gordon, police commissioner of Gotham City. Simmons joins a cast that’s already solidified around Henry Cavill (Superman), Ben Affleck (Batman), Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman), Jason Momoa (Aquaman), Ezra Miller (The Flash) and Ray Fisher (Cyborg). The plot of Justice League is shrouded in mystery for the time being, though we can expect more to become clear as the DC Comics cinematic universe starts to take shape around Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. We know the story involves a threat large enough to bring this super-team together, and we know it spans two movies.
… Justice League: Part One is expected to start shooting in April.
PAULEY PERRETTE FORGIVES HOMELESS MAN WHO ATTACKED HER _ NCIS star Pauley Perrette has decided to forgive the homeless man who attacked her. Her attacker, David Merck, was charged with one count of criminal threat and one count of false imprisonment by violence. When Perrette was punched in the face repeatedly she said that she couldn’t think, but instead she prayed. When the homeless man said his name was William, Pauley replied, “William is a beautiful name. I have a little nephew named William.” That response seemed to spook her attacker, and he fled after landing one more punch to her face. Police later discovered the man’s real name is David Merck.
… If Merck is found guilty on all counts he will spend four years in prison. Perrette says something needs to be done in the community to improve mental health facilities. And she doesn’t have any anger towards Merck.
BACHELORETTE TO FEATURE BROTHER OF PACKERS QB AARON RODGERS _ Amid rumors that recently ousted Bachelor constant Caila Quinn will be the new Bachelorette, Us Weekly reports that Jordan Rodgers, the younger brother of Aaron Rodgers, will compete for her heart on the upcoming 12th season of the ABC dating show. Jordan Rodgers is 27-years-old and, like his big brother, he’s also a football player. Before scoring a job as quarterback for the BC Lions in the Canadian Football League, Rodgers was an undrafted free agent in the NFL. Rodgers played briefly with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Miami Dolphins, and Jacksonville Jaguars before heading to the CFL and retiring last May.
GAVIN ROSSDALE’S NANNY FROM HIS AFFAIR IS PREGNANT _ It wasn’t too long ago that news broke that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale were getting a divorce. The 13-year marriage ended after Gwen found out he was having an affair with their kids’ nanny, Mindy Mann. The whole thing was revealed when Stefani found dirty pictures and texts on the iCloud of their family’s iPad. And something new might put salt in Gwen’s wound.
… Mann’s sister posted a picture of the former nanny’s baby bump on Facebook to announce her pregnancy. She’s expecting a baby boy. Of course, one big question remains: Is it Gavin’s baby from their three-year affair? Mann has yet to give the identity of the father, but there’s a chance that the answer is no. She’s currently dating snowboard instructor Spencer Gutcheon. But according to reports, Mann and Rossdale were seen in front of a nursery in Los Angeles in December, and had lunch just last week.
NEW ON DVD TODAY _ Released Tuesday, March 8.
- The Peanuts Movie
- In the Heart of the Sea
- Victor Frankenstein
- Grease Live!
- Community – The Complete 6th Season
- Hogan’s Heroes – The Complete Series
- Rookie Blue – The Complete 6th and Final Season
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – Season 1
Newest on the PRO AUDIO page.
• SONG: That Didnt Suck (from Carvana viral ad).
• NANCY REAGAN: Ronald Reagan talks about wife Nancy.
• MOVIE: Zootopia movie clip. – Made $73 million over the weekend.
March is National Dog-Lovers Month…
• 55% of social media-using Americans have dogs.
• 14% of dog owners have a Facebook account for their dog.
• 8% have an Instagram account for their dog.
• 4% have a Twitter account for their dog.
• If dog owners had to choose between keeping their dog and keeping their Internet, 45% would choose the Internet.
… 35% would choose their laptop over their dog.
… 13% would choose Facebook over their dog.
• 53% of dog owners say they pick up their dog’s poop every time.
… 13% say never.
• Of all the money they spend on their dog, 56% is for food and treats.
… 21% is for the vet and health-related.
… 5% is for clothing.
From the website that tracks new words.
PLONKABLE – Cheap, easy, and quick to install.
SADSCAPE – A depressing or pathetic situation or landscape.
BADGE BALL – A ball made up of discarded visitors badges, usually found on the desks of receptionists and security guards.
RESCANDAL – A scandal that is the same as or similar to an earlier scandal, committed by the same person or group.
BOBO – A person who combines affluence and a successful career with a preference for countercultural ideas and artifacts.
ALPHA BOOMER – A person who belongs to the oldest segment of the baby boom generation and has significant disposable income.
SCUPPIE – An urban professional who is socially conscious.
FAUXHEMIAN – Relating to something that is bohemian in a fake or pretentious manner.
TRIVIA: One-quarter of homeowners say you gotta spend a thousand bucks or more on one of these. (Mattress)
TRIVIA: Americans toss 96 billion pounds of what each year? (Food)
YES OR B.S. * CELEBRITY EDITION
• Matt Damon collects Legos. (B.S.)
• A childhood virus left Rob Lowe completely deaf in his right ear. (YES)
• As a second grader Jamie Foxx was so talented at telling jokes, his teacher used him as a reward. If the class behaved, Jamie would entertain them. (YES)
• Jack Black is the son of rocket scientists. His mother worked on the Hubble telescope. (YES)
• To make money during high school, Reese Witherspoon spent summers changing oil at her dad’s quick-lube oil store. (B.S.)
• When he was little, Ben Affleck asked his mom for a dog and she tested him by making him walk an imaginary pup for a week. In the end, he only lasted five days and didn’t get the dog. (YES)
How to ruin your coworker’s day.
I’ll sit right here till you get back.
This is day 69 of 2016. There are 297 days remaining.
• Linda Fiorentino (Men in Black) is 58
• Juliette Binoche (Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in The English Patient) is 52
• Emmanuel Lewis (Webster) is 45
• Oscar Isaac is 37
• Brittany Snow (Pitch Perfect) is 30
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1959: Barbie the doll made its debut at the American International Toy Fair in New York.
• 1981: Dan Rather made his debut as principal anchorman of The CBS Evening News; he signed off for the last time on the same date in 2005.
• 1995: Los Angeles police detective Mark Fuhrman took the stand at the O.J. Simpson murder trial, denying ever meeting a woman who had accused him of making racist remarks.
• 1997: Gangsta rapper The Notorious B.I.G., whose real name was Christopher Wallace, was killed in a drive-by shooting in Los Angeles at age 24.
• 2006: Bowing to ferocious opposition in Congress, a Dubai-owned company relinquished its quest to take over operations at U.S. ports.
• 2011: The Space Shuttle Discovery made its final landing after 39 flights.
• Barbie Day
• Crabmeat Day
• Fill Our Staplers Day
• Registered Dietitian Day
• March 13: Daylight Saving Time begins (move clocks forward)
• March 15: NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament begins
• March 17: St. Patrick’s Day
• March 27: Easter
• April 1: April Fools’ Day