• President Jimmy Carter is 97
• Julie Andrews is 86
• Stephen Collins (Seventh Heaven) is 74
• Randy Quaid is 71
• Former British Prime Minister Theresa May is 65
• Esai Morales (NYPD Blue) is 59
• Model-actor Cindy Margolis is 56
• Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover, Between Two Ferns) is 52
• Sarah Drew (Grey’s Anatomy, Everwood) is 41
• Jurnee Smollett (Underground, Wanda at Large) is 35
• Brie Larson (United States of Tara) is 32
• Priah Ferguson (Stranger Things) is 15
IT HAPPENED TODAY
• 1908: Henry Ford introduced the Model T automobile to the market; each car cost $825.
• 1971: Walt Disney World opened in Orlando, Florida.
• 1982: The first compact disc player went on sale for $625.
• 2005: A birthday card was introduced by Hallmark bearing the title “CSI: Topeka” and featured a cartoon of two people standing over a corpse, with one saying, “Looks like he was bored to death.” Inside the card is the message, “Hope your birthday is anything but dull.” Though a company spokeswoman said Hallmark didn’t intend to offend anyone, the mayor of Topeka, Kansas, told a local newspaper he found the card “offensive”.
• 2009: Talk show host David Letterman announced that he had been the victim of an extortion attempt by someone threatening to reveal that he had had sex with several of his female employees. He confirmed the relationships on his TV show.
• 2017: A gunman opened fire on a crowd of concertgoers at the Route 91 Harvest music festival on the Las Vegas Strip in Nevada. Perpetrator Stephen Paddock fired more than 1,100 rounds from his suite on the 32nd floor of the nearby Mandalay Bay hotel, killing 58 people and leaving 851 injured from gunfire and the resulting panic. About an hour later Paddock was found dead in his room from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
• 2019: Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was taken to the hospital after suffering a heart attack.
• October is Adopt A Shelter Animal Month, Billiard Awareness Month, Class Reunion Month, Eat Better, Eat Together Month, Go Hog Wild-Eat Country Ham Month, Celebrate Sun Dried Tomatoes Month, Go Nuts Over Texas Peanuts Month, Halloween Safety Month, National Book Month, National Chili Month, National Cookie Month, National Dental Hygiene Month, National Pajama Month, National Popcorn Poppin’ Month, National Roller Skating Month, Eat Country Ham Month, National Seafood Month, Frozen Food Month, Spinach Lovers Month, Vegetarian Awareness Month, Zombie Preparedness Month
• CD Player Day
• International Coffee Day
• International Day of Older Persons
• International Music Day
• Hair Day
• Walk Your Dog Day
• Vegan Baking Day
• World Smile Day
• World Vegetarian Day
• Pumpkin Spice Day
OCTOBER 2, 2021
• Critic Rex Reed is 83 • Don McLean is 76 • Avery Brooks (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) is 73 • Sting is 70 • Lorraine Bracco (The Sopranos) is 67 • Joey Slotnick (Boston Public, The Single Guy) is 53 • Kelly Ripa is 51 • Efren Ramirez (Napoleon Dynamite) is 48 • Christopher Larkin (The 100) is 34 • Elizabeth McLaughlin (Pretty Little Liars) is 28
• Name Your Car Day • Custodial Workers Day • Fallen Firefighters Memorial Day • Play Outside Day • World Farm Animals Day
OCTOBER 3, 2021
• Chubby Checker is 80 • Magician Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy is 77 • Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac is 72 • Tommy Lee of Motley Crue is 59 • Gwen Stefani is 52 • Neve Campbell is 48 • Lena Headey is 48 • Sean William Scott is 45 • Tessa Thompson (Valkyrie in Marvel movies, Westworld) is 38 • Noah Schnapp (Stranger Things) is 17
• Country Inn Bed & Breakfast Day • Pickle Day • Techies Day • Soft Taco Day
12: Number of people responsible for sharing 65 percent of all anti-vaccine messaging on social media, according to the Center for Countering Digital Hate.
Today is International Coffee Day. A study found that coffee can help lower the odds of developing dementia. [No wonder Starbucks is so expensive. They’re charging prescription prices.]
Baseball’s getting serious. [You can tell because fans are starting to stay awake the whole game.]
Another study has concluded that drinking red wine daily has lots of health benefits. But the study found that the amount is important. It shouldn’t be more than one glass per night. [Especially if you have a 9PM zoom meeting with an international client.]
A few people think Bigfoot is living in an old Kentucky coal mine. [Which, in 2021, is probably the safest place to be.]
A study (Stanford) found that young people in love who were thinking about the object of their desire could be subjected to pain without much discomfort. [Enduring pain sounds like a pretty accurate metaphor for most romantic relationships.]
A study found the average person lies four times a day. [Which means most of us are too honest to be politicians.]
According to a survey, women hate cleaning the bathroom the most. Dusting is their second least favorite chore, followed by defrosting the fridge, washing windows and doing laundry. [I like defrosting the fridge — it’s a great excuse to finish off that six pack.]
A hotel in Vermont had to be evacuated after a can of bear spray was accidentally set off. [I dunno, if I’m looking at a hotel’s Yelp reviews and it mentions bears, I’m gonna stay somewhere else and save myself the $30 on bear spray.]
POWERBALL GROWS AGAIN _ Saturday night’s Powerball jackpot is worth $620 million.
🔈 BUFFALO BILLS DAD DELIVERS TABLE SMASH GENDER REVEAL _ A couple found out that they were having a baby and so once the gender was known it was time to do the reveal. While the couple — who are Buffalo Bills fans — did do something slightly dangerous, at least it wasn’t a gender reveal that could set thousands of acres on fire, or even kill someone. These people are die hard members of the Bills Mafia, as we can see by the party bus sitting in the front yard. To find out the gender of his unborn Bills fan the dad gets up on the hood of the bus and jumps shoulder first into a table. Attached to the underside of the table is two balloons, which popped open and sent blue dust all over the yard. It’s a Buffalo Bills Boy! • VIDEO
BIGFOOT WAS SPOTTED IN A KENTUCKY COAL MINE _ We’ve heard the stories… we’ve seen the “footage”… but we’re still not convinced of the infamous existence of Bigfoot. The hairy monster’s latest sighting comes to us from the hills of Appalachia, in a Kentucky coal mine. In fact, there’s not just one Bigfoot, there are SEVERAL groups of Bigfoot. And after Bigfoot expert Thomas Marcum heard about this sighting, he believes there’s no doubt that thing calls Northwest Kentucky his home.
… Marcum wrote in a report: “The person, who I will not name, that saw these two Bigfoot go into the mine is a really good guy and is not a storyteller. He has not told but a handful of people about what he saw. This man is a friend of mine and our family. Once I got the location details I used Google maps to kind of scope out the area and to get a direction I wanted to explore first. I missed my mark and had to backtrack for about a mile or more. I did finally find the location.” And once he found the old mine, Marcum also found some tracks from Bigfoot: “These tracks, while lacking a lot of definition, were larger and much wider than my size 12 boot. … What is important and I feel really backs up this report, is the fact there has been other sightings and reports from this general area. In fact, just across the hollow from the coal mine is where I found the tree breaks and recorded the wood knock just a few days ago. This area is no doubt home to Bigfoot… for a fact there are several different groups of Bigfoot.”
OBVIOUS: DON’T LET KIDS WATCH TV _ More proof that TV is bad for your kids. Children who watch TV on weekdays tend to do worse in school than those who don’t. Weekend viewing appears to have no negative effects on schoolwork.
GREEK LEADER’S PET INTERRUPTS NEWS CONFERENCE _ Peanut has met several visiting European leaders since becoming Greece’s top dog back in April. On Thursday, the golden-haired former stray decided to give himself a louder introduction — briefly interrupting a news conference being held by the prime ministers of Greece and Slovakia. Greek Premier Kyriakos Mistotakis was speaking but paused momentarily as Peanut could be heard barking loudly a dozen feet away at the prime minister’s official residence. The Greek Premier said, “That is the dog we recently adopted who is often quite lively. This is the first time he has intervened during a press conference. Usually, he just greets guests at the door and is more polite.”
CATFISH EATEN BEFORE BEING VERIFIED CAN’T QUALIFY FOR RECORD _ If you’re going for a world record in an animal category, don’t eat it before it’s verified. Uncertainty about the species of a massive catfish that was eaten before it could be vetted by authorities has led Connecticut to withdraw its awarding of a new state record. Connecticut Fish and Wildlife wrote in a Facebook post that because it was not able to examine the actual fish, authorities cannot confirm it was a white catfish.
… Ben Tomkunas, who caught the 21.3-pound fish, said he gave it to his grandfather the morning after he caught it and it was eaten. Not fully understanding the importance of verification, the young Tomkunas said, “I can’t believe that they think it’s OK to do this to someone. It’s such an embarrassment.” Apparently it can be difficult to distinguish between white catfish and channel catfish, which are generally larger.
… The previous state record for a white catfish was a 12.7 pound fish. The International Game Fish Association has recorded the world record for a white catfish catch to be 19.3 pounds for a fish caught in 2005 in California.
MAJOR FLEA INFESTATION SHUTS SCHOOLS FOR CLEANING _ See if you can finish this sentence: Two elementary schools in Oakland, California, are closed due to…
… Did you think “COVID-19”? In 2021 that would be the obvious answer. No, this week two Oakland schools experienced an infestation of fleas that forced them to close. The infestation may have been caused by raccoons in the area.
A YEAR AGO THIS WEEK: WHY MEN DON’T SEE THE COFFEE CUP _ A good husband understands that women often get confused by stuff that doesn’t matter, as in the unwashed coffee cup that’s been sitting in the sink for days. Few wives understand that it isn’t that we see the coffee cup and choose not to rinse it or put it in the dishwater, but rather that the neural link between our eyeballs and brains actually keeps us from seeing the cup. Researchers say the gender biology of why we don’t see the cup comes down to this: They have a lot of other things on our minds. That doesn’t mean men are off the hook. Additional research shows just doing one extra chore a day, even something small and quick like folding a basket of laundry, works wonders in a woman’s mind.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: WOMEN TAKE DIP IN THE ROAD IN POTHOLE PROTEST _ What is the best way to draw attention to an unrepaired road in your neighborhood? Write a letter to the authorities? Complain on social media? Or protest by sitting in the pothole and taking a bath? The latter is exactly what a woman decided to do. She was fed up with the condition of the roads on her route to her relative’s home in Thailand. So she put on a shower cap and took a ‘protest bath’ in one of the holes that are causing ongoing problems and accidents.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: PASSENGER OPENS EXIT DOOR AND WALKS OUT ON TO WING OF PLANE _ An airplane passenger was detained Wednesday evening after he opened the emergency exit door and walked out onto the wing of the plane. The plane, which had just arrived at Miami International Airport from Cali, Colombia, was in the process of “positioning” at the gate when the incident took place.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LIKE MOTHER LIKE SON _ A man in St. Louis called police to say he was carjacked of his Nissan Rogue. The thief was a woman who grabbed his car keys as a younger man pistol-whipped him in the head with a revolver. The woman then dragged the 48-year-old unnamed man out of his car and took off with her accomplice. Police have no suspects despite another piece of evidence the driver provided: the woman, he said, told him her accomplice is her son, and is 11 years old.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: CREEPY JOGGER IS CREEPY MINISTER _ A 9-year-old told an adult that he was repeatedly bothered by a male jogger who inappropriately touched him while he waited at his bus stop in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Each time the man then ran off. The adult staked out the bus stop the next day with a camera to record evidence, and sure enough saw the jogger waiting for the kids to arrive, checking his watch to monitor the time. When the kids arrived, the jogger made his move, running up to the 9-year-old to touch him. The witness was ready, and chased after the man — and apparently needed to rough him up a bit to restrain him for police: Michael Coghill’s mug shot shows him bloody and bruised, with one eye swollen shut. Coghill was charged with committing lewd acts on a child. He was also fired from his job: he is no longer the minister at Lakehoma Church of Christ.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: BEAR SPRAY FILLS THE HOTEL AIR _ More than 30 guests and staff were evacuated from the Fairfield Inn in Williston, Vermont, after widespread reports of difficulty breathing and burning eyes. Three were taken to a hospital. After firefighters evacuated the entire building they set up five smoke ejection fans to remove the fumes, and found the cause: a hotel maid found a can of bear spray in a room and accidentally set it off. The extra-strong pepper spray was sucked into the ventilation system, which spread the fumes throughout the building.
WACKY-BUT-TRUE: TURTLE STOPS PLANE WITH SEA TURTLE THEME _ One of the runways at the Narita, Japan, airport was closed for about 12 minutes, delaying five flights. The cause of the delay: a turtle, which administrators believe came from a retention pond about 300 feet away. Workers rescued the turtle with a net. Among the flights that were delayed: an All Nippon Airways plane painted with a sea turtle theme.
SEASON PREMIERE: S.W.A.T. (8p ET, CBS) — In the 2-part Season 5 premiere, Hondo will find himself south of the border for various reasons in a Mexico-set storyline.
THE MOST MAGICAL STORY ON EARTH: 50 YEARS OF WALT DISNEY WORLD (8p ET, ABC) — Whoopi Goldberg hosts this 2-hour special, detailing the history of Walt Disney World, with spectacular visuals, musical performances from Christina Aguilera and Halle Bailey, and interviews with iconic actors and athletes.
WWE FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN (8p ET, FOX) — New.
SEASON PREMIERE: PENN AND TELLER: FOOL US (8p ET, CW) — The magicians featured in the premiere include Jandro, Piff the Magic Dragon, Helen Coghlan and Paul Gertner.
UNDER WRAPS (8p ET, Disney) — In this 2021 remake of the 1997 TV movie, three friends try to save their mummified friend, Harold, from greedy criminals by returning him to his resting place before midnight on Halloween.
SEASON PREMIERE: MAGNUM P.I. (9p ET, CBS) — Chantal Thuy (Black Lightning) joins the cast for season 4 as a new love interest for Magnum.
SEASON FINALE: DYNASTY (9p ET, CW) — New.
SEASON PREMIERE: BLUE BLOODS (10p ET, CBS) — In the Season 12 premiere, as Danny consults a psychic (guest star Callie Thorne) to solve the murder of a young boy, Frank is at odds with the mayor (returning guest star Dylan Walsh) over how best to protect the city from an uptick in crime following a high-profile shooting.
SEASON PREMIERE: ELI ROTH’S HISTORY OF HORROR (10p ET, AMC) — Season 3 begins with Sequels that Don’t Suck, highlighting Scream 2, Bride of Chucky and more.
THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK (HBO Max and in theaters) — Michael Gandolfini, son of James Gandolfini, plays a younger version of his late father in this Sopranos prequel film. The movie is set a few decades before The Sopranos, and the cast also includes Ray Liotta, Leslie Odom Jr. and Vera Farmiga.
DIANA: THE MUSICAL (Netflix) — This musical is based on the life of Princess Diana, and only made it through nine preview performances last year before the pandemic shut it down. It’s set to return to Broadway in November. This production of the show was filmed without an audience.
THE GUILTY (Netflix) — Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this new thriller as a demoted police detective who’s now a 911 dispatcher trying to stop a horrible crime over the phone. He answers an emergency call from a distressed woman, and has just hours to save her life. The cast includes Ethan Hawke, Riley Keough, Paul Dano, Peter Sarsgaard, comedian Bill Burr, and Da’Vine Joy Randolph.
PREMIERE: LEO STAR WARS TERRIFYING TALES (Disney+) — This new animated Halloween special is set after The Rise of Skywalker. Poe and BB-8 must make an emergency landing on the volcanic planet Mustafar where they meet the greedy and conniving Graballa the Hutt who has bought Darth Vader’s castle and is renovating it into the galaxy’s first all-inclusive
MAID (Netflix) — This new drama is based on Stephanie Land’s memoir and stars Margaret Qualley as a single mother struggling to make ends meet. She stars opposite her real-life mom Andie MacDowell.
SEASON PREMIERE: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30p ET, NBC) — Owen Wilson hosts the 47th season premiere, with musical guest Kacey Musgraves.
SEASON PREMIERE: AUSTIN CITY LIMITS (11:30p ET, PBS) — Miranda Lambert, Jack Ingram and Jon Randall showcase their collaborative album The Marfa Tapes.
THE HAUNTED MUSEUM (Discovery+) — Produced in collaboration with filmmaker Eli Roth, this new anthology series features mini horror films inspired by the creepy relics on display at Zak Bagans’ paranormal museum in Las Vegas.
SEASON PREMIERE: AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS (7p ET, ABC) — Season 32. begins.
60 MINUTES (7:30p ET, CBS) — New. A former Facebook employee says tens of thousands of pages of internal company research prove Facebook is lying to the public about the effectiveness of its campaigns to eradicate hate, violence and misinformation from its platforms. This whistleblower filed a complaint to the Securities and Exchange Commission anonymously last month, and will reveal her identity and speak her mind in this interview.
NFL FOOTBALL (8p ET, NBC) — Tom Brady makes his highly anticipated return to New England as the Buccaneers (2-1) visit the Patriots (1-2).
CELEBRITY WHEEL OF FORTUNE (8p ET, ABC) — The celebrity contestants are Andy Richter, Vanilla Ice and Caroline Rhea.
SEASON PREMIERE: CALL THE MIDWIFE (8p ET, PBS) — This popular British-made drama returns for Season 10.
THE WALKING DEAD (9p ET, AMC) — New. Maggie and Elijah learn a new survival tactic from Negan.
SEASON PREMIERE: GRANTCHESTER (9p ET, PBS) — Season 6 begins.
THE ROOKIE (10p ET, ABC) — New. Nolan and Chen’s run-in with an infamous thief (guest star Tricia Helfer, Battlestar Galactica) tips them off to a potentially big heist surrounding a big gala event. Jenna Dewan returns as Bailey.
SEASON PREMIERE: THE WALKING DEAD: WORLD BEYOND (10p ET, AMC) — The second and final season begins.
IN THEATERS AND STREAMING _ New movies in (select) theaters, streaming, and video on demand.
• The Addams Family 2 (Theaters and VOD)
• Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (Amazon)
• The Many Saints of Newark (Theaters and HBO Max)
• Venom: Let There Be Carnage (Theaters)
• Coming Home in the Dark (Theaters and VOD)
• The Guilty (Moves from select theaters to Netflix)
• Mayday (Theaters + VOD)
• Old Henry (Theaters)
SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW: DRE, SNOOP, EMINEM, BLIGE, LAMAR _ Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige and Kendrick Lamar will perform for the first time on stage together at the Super Bowl 56 halftime show on February 13.
… The Super Bowl returns to the Los Angeles area for the first time since 1993.
… The five music artists have a combined 44 Grammys. Eminem has the most with 15.
SHAKIRA WAS ATTACKED BY A PAIR OF WILD BOARS _ Pop superstar Shakira says she was the victim of a random attack by a pair of wild boars while walking in a park in Barcelona with her eight-year-old son. The Colombian singer said the animals attacked her, before seizing her bag and retreating with it into the woods. She shared her bizarre tale in a series of Instagram stories. Holding the now recovered but torn bag towards the camera, she said: “Look at how two wild boar which attacked me in the park have left my bag.” Shakira is the latest victim of the increasingly aggressive hogs which have invaded the Catalan capital in recent years.
🗣 TOPIC: What’s your craziest wild animal encounter story?! 🐗
GWYNETH PALTROW ANNOUNCES UNSCRIPTED NETFLIX SERIES _ Gwyneth Paltrow is the latest celebrity getting their own television series, and hers will be an interesting addition to the Netflix lineup. Paltrow is bringing Sex, Love, & Goop to Netflix, and the series is set to focus on… Gwyneth.
… Goop is Paltrow’s brand she started in 2008 in her kitchen as a newsletter, and it has grown exponentially since then. So the series will follow what has become her lifestyle brand in addition to sex and love. A synopsis for the show reads: “Gwyneth Paltrow and the goop team bring us Sex, Love & Goop. This series follows courageous couples who, with the help of experts, learn lessons and methods to enhance their relationships through more pleasurable sex and deeper intimacy.” Sex, Love, & Goop starts streaming on October 21.
DISNEY+ DELIVERS EERIE TRAILER FOR NEW R.L. STINE HORROR SERIES _ Disney+ has released an eerie trailer for a new R.L. Stine horror series. Titled Just Beyond, the series takes viewers to a world of fantasy — and fear. • VIDEO
… It will begin streaming October 13.
TAYLOR SWIFT BUMPS UP RE-RELEASE OF ALBUM RED _ Taylor Swift’s shared Thursday that her own rendition of her acclaimed album Red will be released a week early, on November 12. The release will also include a four disk vinyl.
… Some fans are suspicious that Swift’s premature release of Red coincides with Adele’s new album release, which is rumored to also be coming in November.
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BUFFALO BILLS GENDER REVEAL
October 1 News & Nuggets: A bunch of Buffalo Bills fans participated in a table smash gender reveal.
A guy on TikTok offers this reminder about email. (via @mobhistory)
GATOR IN A CAN
September 30 Wacky-But-True: A Florida man captured a six-foot gator in a garbage can.
George Clooney. Can tie it in with International Podcast Day, which is September 30.
“This is the most important conversation in America.”
WHAT OCTOBER HAS IN STORE FOR US
• October 1 is International Coffee Day.
• October 8 is the day No Time To Die finally hits North American theaters. The reviews are good.
• October 9 gives us the North American Wife Carrying Championship at Sunday River Resort in Maine.
• October 21 is Back to the Future Day, to mark the day when, in Back to the Future Part II, Marty McFly travels to October 21, 2015 to save his children, yet to be born in Back to the Future’s 1985.
• October 26 is Game 1 of the World Series.
• October 25 marks two months until Christmas!
• October 31 is Halloween.
BINGO IS BACK — WITH BOUNCERS
If you do “long reads” on your show, the Wall Street Journal’s article on bingo coming back to churches has a lot of fun things to talk about.
… We found a non-paywalled version, but no promises it will be up forever.
If I look in your fridge right now what will I see too much of?
AMERICANS — WE LOVE TO USE OUR COUNTRY
• Each American uses three times as much water as the world average; over half the original wetlands in the United States have been lost, mainly due to urban and suburban development and agriculture.
• Half the continental United States can no longer support its original vegetation; nearly 1,000 plant and animal species are listed by the U.S. government as endangered or threatened, with 85 percent of those due to habitat loss or alteration.
• The United States consumes nearly 25 percent of the world’s energy, though it has only 5 percent of the world’s population, and has the highest per capita oil consumption worldwide.
• Each American produces about 6 pounds of trash a day, up from about 3 pounds in 1960.
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
From comedian Larry Miller.
• Try everything twice. You may not like it the first time, but maybe it’ll grow on you.
• Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
• Keep learning. Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, Whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
• Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
• The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Live while you’re alive.
• Surround yourself with what you love: family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
• Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
• Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
• Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
• Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
TRIVIA: According to the U.S. Census Bureau the most popular surnames, in order, are Smith, Johnson, Williams, and… (Brown)
TRIVIA: There are more than 1,000 chemicals in one of these. (A cup of coffee. While scientists haven’t yet teased out each one individually for closer examination, they have nailed down the big players in terms of taste and potential health benefits.)
TRIVIA: The average person eats about 27 pounds of what each year? (Bananas)
Five questions. Each answer begins with the corresponding letter in the word BINGO.
• A type of emphasis you can add to text to make it stand out. (Bold)
• You do this with deductions for your taxes. (Itemize)
• A single-digit odd number (Nine)
• A famous San Francisco bridge (Golden Gate)
• 12 of these come in typical soft drink can. (Ounces)
Each of these has something in common.
• Ink, pig, pal (pen)
• Tub, towel, bubble (bath)
• Time, top, foot (big)
• Cleaner, bagger, red (carpet)
• Show, board, fair (game)
HOLE IN THE HEADLINE
Guess the word that’s missing from this news headline: DRUNK MAN JOINS SEARCH PARTY FOR ______!
Some buddies went out and got absolutely obliterated drunk in their town of Cayyaka, Turkey. Apparently, one of the friends, a 50-year-old guy, wondered off into the woods. When he didn’t return, his friends filed a missing-persons report and the search party began. Several locals gathered to hunt for the missing man, and after a long search there was no sign of his whereabouts. Well, as it turns out the guy ended up joining a random group of the search party and was looking for himself the whole time. The guy apparently made his way back to town after his drunken stupor and decided to join the search party, even though he had no idea who they were looking for. After a number of hours, they began to shout out his name, and it finally hit him. He said: “Who are we looking for? I am here.”